₦airaland Forum

Response 1

I made $15m in my mid-20s after I sold a tech startup. I talked to a lot of people about this question, and thought a lot about how to stay the same person I was before and after making money.

Here's my answer: being rich is better than not being rich, but it's not nearly as good as you imagine it is.

The answer why is a bit more complicated.

First, one of the only real things being rich gives you is that you don't have to worry about money as much anymore. There will still be some expenses that you cannot afford (and you will wish you could), but most expenses can be made without thinking about what it costs. This is definitely better, without a doubt.

Being rich does come with some downsides, though. The first thing you are thinking reading that, is, "cry me a river". That is one of the downsides. You are not allowed to complain about anything, ever. Since most people imagine being rich as nirvana, you are no longer allowed to have any human needs or frustrations in the public eye. Yet, you are still a human being, but most people don't treat you like one.

There's the second downside. Most people now want something out of you, and it can be harder to figure out whether someone is being nice to you because they like you, or they are being nice to you because of your money. If you aren't married yet, good luck trying to figure out (and/or always having self doubt) about whether a partner is into you or your money.

Then you have friends & family. Hopefully your relationship with them doesn't sour, but it can get harder. Both can get really weird about it and start to treat you differently. They might come and ask for a loan (bad idea: if you give, always give a gift). One common problem is that they don't appreciate Christmas presents the way that they used to, and they can get unrealistic expectations for how large a present should be and be disappointed when you don't meet their unrealistic expectations. You have to start making decisions for your parents on what does and does not cost too much, and frankly, it's awkward.

Add all of these up and you can start to feel a certain sense of isolation.

You sometimes lay awake at night, wondering if you made the right investment decisions, whether it might all go away. You know that feeling standing on a tall building, the feeling you might lose your mind and jump? Sometimes you're worried that you might lose your mind and spend it all.

The next thing you need to understand about money is this: all of the things you picture buying, they are only worthwhile to you because you cannot afford them (or have to work really hard to acquire them). Maybe you have your eye on a new Audi -- once you can easily afford it, it just doesn't mean as much to you anymore.

Everything is relative, and you are more or less powerless to that. Yes, the first month you drive the Audi, or eat in a fancy restaurant, you really enjoy it. But then you sort of get used to it. And then you are looking towards the next thing, the next level up. And the problem is that you have reset your expectations, and everything below that level doesn't get you quite as excited anymore.

This happens to everyone. Good people can maintain perspective, actively fight it, and stay grounded. Worse people complain about it and commit general acts of douchebaggery. But remember this: it would happen to you, too, even though you might not think so. You'll just have to trust me on this one.

Most people hold the illusion that if only they had more money, their life would be better and they would be happier. Then they get rich, and that doesn't happen, and it can throw them into a serious life crisis.

If you're part of the middle class, you have just as many opportunities to do with your life what you want of it. If you're not happy now, you won't be happy because of money.

Whether you're rich or not, make your life what you want it to be, and don't use money as an excuse. Go out there, get involved, be active, pursue your passion, and make a difference.

Response 2

In my experience, for an entrepreneur at least -- getting enough money to have freedom is worth it and a glorious thing.

Here are my experiences:

1. "Made" $10M+ in paper gains on DotBomb 1.0 stock, lost all but $50k. Felt horrible. Took me 4 years to get over it. Horrible. Terrible emotional scars. Of almost having had something, but having lost it forever.

2. Made $2M on first start-up. This was the best experience ever. The good feeling lasted four years -- the good feeling -- every single day, until Lehman Brothers and lost half of it (until the market came back). This was the happiest time of my life, from here until Lehman. Why?

$2M after taxes was about $1.5m. At the time I was making about $150k a year. After taxes that's about $90k in California. So, in selling my first start-up, I made the equivalent of almost 20 years of income (ignoring inflation). Plus, at the time, the market was reliably growing 10% YoY, so I didn't even have to worry about inflation. That meant I never, ever again had to do a job, or something, I didn't want to do. I did have to work again - clearly. So the pressure to work wasn't gone. Which is actually a good thing, it keeps you alive, the need to work at some point, in some fashion. But the freedom to only do exactly what I wanted to do was new. It was glorious.

3. Made $20M on second start-up. Finally, real f'you money. I feel no better. Yes, I bought a better house. I didn't even bother to buy nicer cars. Who cares. I just bought some more jeans. Look, I am intellectually proud and gratified to have this money. But it didn't buy my freedom, which I had from before. It didn't improve the quality of my life.

So the $2M was the best. Losing $10M was the very worst. The $20M wasn't as sweet as the $2M.

So for me at least, the learning is the one thing that matters money can buy you is freedom. Some may call this f'you money, but it's not about that for entrepreneurs. It's about having freedom from the man, freedom to just go for it.

Response 3

I certainly don't regret it.

Wealth removes constraints. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing depends on the extent to which you needed those constraints. If you have a serious alcohol or other drug addiction, wealth could be fatal for you. In general, it makes people more of whatever they already were. If you're an asshole, getting more money will probably make you more of an asshole. However, if you have purpose and meaning in your life that goes beyond chasing the golden carrot, money can give you the freedom to focus on the things that truly matter to you.

One of the biggest dangers of wealth is that it often causes people to cut themselves off from the larger society, either out of fear or the belief that they are somehow better than others. We are all one.

Response 4

I found wealth to be a personality multiplier. For example, if you're cruel and unkind, then being wealthy will make you even more cruel and unkind (because you don't even have survival-related reasons to be nice to anyone anymore). If, instead, you are kind and generous, then being wealthy will make you more so (because wealth enables more opportunities for doing so, plus people respond more strongly to your positivity, thereby creating a feedback loop).

And because wealth is a personality multiplier, it is also an experience multiplier. If you are miserable middle-class, you will likely be even more miserable wealthy. That's because all your personality traits that causes you to be miserable (eg, greed, cruelty, paranoia, inner turmoil) get multiplied. Similarly, if you're happy middle-class, you're likely to be even happier wealthy, for the same reason. Personality traits that causes you to be happy (eg, generosity, kindness, inner peace) multiply, thereby multiplying happiness.

So my advice is: learn to be happy BEFORE becoming wealthy. Most importantly, learn the skills that lead to inner peace, inner joy and compassion. Those skills make you happy when you're middle class, and will make you even happier when you get rich. Without those skills, the most likely outcome of wealth is misery.

http://www.quora.com/Is-getting-rich-worth-it

I dey come...

Too long nd boring, all I could see was "$15m" and "$10m"

izuch:
Too long nd boring, all I could see was "$15m" and "$10m"

Probably because you never pondered the question. All na levels!

Wallie:
Probably because you never pondered the question. All na levels!

Why waste my precious time?

izuch:
Why waste my precious time?

Time = money but is money everything? See how I related your question back to the topic? The topic is not meant to resonate with everybody. You might just be at the stage where the question does not apply to you.

@OP

I concur 100% . Especially the issues of " all of the things you picture buying, they are only worthwhile to you because you cannot afford them (or have to work really hard to acquire them ". "And the unrealistic expectations and insatiable attitude of some relations ".

Empero1:
@OP

I concur 100% . Especially the issues of " all of the things you picture buying, they are only worthwhile to you because you cannot afford them (or have to work really hard to acquire them ".

This is by far my biggest issue today! I only desire things just slightly outside my reach but once acquired it is time to move on. I prefer the chase more than the catch.

Money is everything if you want it to be.
Very subjective.

I'm not wealthy. I'm well off, but not wealthy (not yet, at least ) and I have learnt a number of things.

1. Money isn't everything. It's a lot no doubt, but not everything
2. Your money is what you are. Like in the op, a good guy with money is a better guy. A douchebag with money is a bigger heap of swine dung.
3. Money basically brings the means to be happier. How? I can get stuff I like more often than not. I take my Lady out someplace nice and she's happy which makes me happier. I get to help friends, family and total strangers which makes me feel good. But I am happier cos I was happy before all this. How do I know?
4. I was broke once. Married and broke. But I was happy even then. My Lady was great, I still helped friends, family and total strangers, I didn't get what I wanted, but I had what I needed.

So money isn't everything. Money is a lot, but most of it is you

@wallie
nice topic. Agree with all the posts, the new learning to me was money being a multiplier...makes sense.

LewsTherin:
I'm not wealthy. I'm well off, but not wealthy (not yet, at least ) and I have learnt a number of things.

1. Money isn't everything. It's a lot no doubt, but not everything
2. Your money is what you are. Like in the op, a good guy with money is a better guy. A douchebag with money is a bigger heap of swine dung.
3. Money basically brings the means to be happier. How? I can get stuff I like more often than not. I take my Lady out someplace nice and she's happy which makes me happier. I get to help friends, family and total strangers which makes me feel good. But I am happier cos I was happy before all this. How do I know?
4. I was broke once. Married and broke. But I was happy even then. My Lady was great, I still helped friends, family and total strangers, I didn't get what I wanted, but I had what I needed.

So money isn't everything. Mobey is a lot, but most of it is you

love your story!
This looks like what i would have written if i was well off financial!
I dont have money but i love helping people out especially financially!
the look on peoples's face when as a stranger, you pop up to help out is immense!
some will just stare at you not knowing exactly what to do/say, will just leave them with a smile.
one of the best feelings in life!
try it! just random act of kindness to some random person!

Op money answereth all

I really think the wealth being a character multiplier is sooo true.. When people say 'he/she made money and he/she changed' I think that's who they always were.There is even a Yoruba saying for it.A good person is always a good person regardless of money.

That said it takes a very very high level of scruples not to compromise a bit on certain moral issues eg tax avoidance.Me and hubby had this argument when the HSBC issue was in the news.He said in a way all those millionaires were actually not breaking any laws as some tax havens and tax avoidance schemes are perfectly legal.I said sometimes it's not about what is legal but what is morally right.(and he calls himself a progressive )

He said it's easy to say that now you are on PAYE but let's see how easy it would be for you when the taxman wants to take 50% of your wealth.I honestly think I would pay my fair share but then do I know if I really would

Op, nice post.
True dat money dn't change people, it onli makes u become an advance version of wat u already are.
@damiso, ur husband is so right, it is very easy to say wat we are going to do when we have not found ourselves in a situation. Once u are in, i can assure u will look at it from a diff prism.

damiso:
..
That said it takes a very very high level of scruples not to compromise a bit on certain moral issues eg tax avoidance.Me and hubby had this argument when the HSBC issue was in the news.He said in a way all those millionaires were actually not breaking any laws as some tax havens and tax avoidance schemes are perfectly legal.I said sometimes it's not about what is legal but what is morally right.(and he calls himself a progressive )

He said it's easy to say that now you are on PAYE but let's see how easy it would be for you when the taxman wants to take 50% of your wealth.I honestly think I would pay my fair share but then do I know if I really would

It will sound like I'm splitting hairs but bear with me: tax avoidance is legal but tax evasion is illegal. Tax avoidance lowers your tax bill by structuring your transactions so that you reap the largest tax benefits and is considered extremely wise. This is why a company that made billions of dollars can end up paying $0 in taxes. On the other hand, tax evasion is an attempt to reduce your tax liability by deceit, or concealment. Tax evasion is a crime. HSBC was enabling a crime.

Also, it is easier to say that people in the higher tax bracket should be taxed more to pay for stuff until you find yourself in the same tax bracket. For example, there's the debate that occurred when Obama was proposing to charge people that made $250k-500k per year more because they're considered "rich".

Most people in the lower tax bracket said "sure" they're millionaires; tax them more but people that made a little over $250k are saying, "What the hell are you talking about? I'm just slightly more comfortable than you and I'm also struggling just to make it to the next tax bracket!." In reality, $250k/yr is not a lot of money by the time you pay your taxes, private schooling for the kids, house in a decent neighborhood, student loans, and two cars. There’s an acronym for people like that: High Earners, Not Rich Yet (HENRYs).

Wallie,
Domino answered this question back in '94


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1G9XNuWf-g

Wallie:
Response 1



Response 2


Response 3


Response 4


http://www.quora.com/Is-getting-rich-worth-it

If you're in my soup a situation whereby you can't afford #70,000 school fees, you will know that being rich is a huge glory.

True talk!

Chimarto:
If you're in my soup a situation whereby you can't afford #70,000 school fees, you will know that being rich is a huge glory.

I agree but think about this: what do you think keeps Dangote and Otedola up at night or do you think that they do not worry about anything? Otedola practically went broke a few years ago. Dangote lost how many billion dollars in the span of just one year? Do you know how many "rich" people are running around scared of the election results? It is true that they're not worried about the basic necessities of life but they certainly do worry about the things money can't buy.

But like was quoted in the first response "being rich is better than not being rich."