₦airaland Forum

I was just wondering why its so common to find adults living with their parents and also being controlled by their parents. Worlwide, one is considered mature and responsible as soon as you turn 18 and in many countries around the world you are not allowed to have sex till you're 18. At 18, you should be able to take care of yourself and take responsibility for your actions and indeed your destiny. But the case is not so here in Nigeria and its very common to finds men and women living with their parents while in the university and after graduation.

What could be the cause of this?

Are our parents to blame? Do our parents raise us up believing that we are forever destined to live by their standards, personal choices or beliefs? Or can the youths be blamed for not taking destiny into their own hands or for being caught up in a system that believes that only people who are 50years and above, who have stayed in office looting and looting over and over again without placing the neccessary infrastructure in place that will aid the average youth in achieving their goals and ambitions, are destined to rule till they reside to their graves?

We have lots of bright minds wasting away in this country, shouldn't someone take responsibility to either rectify or change the current situation?

Instead of fighting ourselves over political parties whose chiftains are well known criminals, shouldn't the youth unite and kick these people out of power and steer our country in the right directions ourselves?

Mature opinions please

Destiny

i have Forgot what it feel like self.

I don't think its a major point for concern. On average, a nigerian student finishes secondary school at 16. At that age what can of work can you do to pay for an accommodation? He will have to learn a trade or get higher education. Now who will sponsor him or her, while learning a trade or going to university? Then how will that person pay for an accommodation with out a job. So I don't think its a major point for concern. an 18 year old needs to stick with his parents for a time, to learn useful skills like money management before setting out on his own. One shouldn't be in a hurry. It's more shame to hurry off and come back to your parents later, cos you didn't learn a enough to survive on your own.

vfactor:
I don't think its a major point for concern. On average, a nigerian student finishes secondary school at 16. At that age what can of work can you do to pay for an accommodation? He will have to learn a trade or get higher education. Now who will sponsor him or her, while learning a trade or going to university? Then how will that person pay for an accommodation with out a job. So I don't think its a major point for concern. an 18 year old needs to stick with his parents for a time, to learn useful skills like money management before setting out on his own. One shouldn't be in a hurry. It's more shame to hurry off and come back to your parents later, cos you didn't learn a enough to survive on your own.

Seems you are used to it. Aren't our parents supposed to equip us with enough knowledge to enable us live on our own?

hahn:
Seems you are used to it. Aren't our parents supposed to equip us with enough knowledge to enable us live on our own?

Not a matter of if I am used to it or not. I talking of what is obtainable in Nigeria. Certain things come with age. Just like teaching a 5 year old about relationships. He would find it hard to grasp. There are some knowledge that comes with age. At 18, yes an adult, but what lesson has the learnt abt how to get a job and keep it, how to manage a budget etc. This things come gradually. By 21, he should be ready to leave home.

vfactor:
Not a matter of if I am used to it or not. I talking of what is obtainable in Nigeria. Certain things come with age. Just like teaching a 5 year old about relationships. He would find it hard to grasp. There are some knowledge that comes with age. At 18, yes an adult, but what lesson has the learnt abt how to get a job and keep it, how to manage a budget etc. This things come gradually. By 21, he should be ready to leave home.

There are lots of 25 and above year olds living with their parents sir

Der is nothing wrong in a child above 18 living wt his parents as far as he's bn sponsored by dem in his career. If he is still in university & sch's on break, shud he inconvenience anoda family wen his parents are well able? No!

And ofcourse d child shud hv a target of wat he wants in life( buildn his own life,home, projects....etc).

Blame it on the Nigeria factor

hahn:
There are lots of 25 and above year olds living with their parents sir

I know. But your focus was on 18 (though u mentioned adults, ur focus was on 18) And that was why I commented.

vfactor:
I know. But your focus was on 18 (though u mentioned adults, ur focus was on 18) And that was why I commented.

I chose to write "18" because that's a legal age though I ought to have written 18 and above

The parents has no part to play on this.

Let's say you graduate from secondary school, some will write JAMB for two or three times.

Then you gain admission into university. Then the university strike will slow you down.

Then you wait for a year or two for NYSC. By the time you finish you are close to 24.

Then the main huddle of looking for a job will start.

In all these the parents were the ones supporting you. If you are under their roof why won't you dance to their tune. And no help from Govt what so ever.

You only be out of the your parent house when you can pick up the bills. That is y some are not in a hurry to vacate their parent's home

Richy4:
The parents has no part to play on this.

Let's say you graduate from secondary school, some will write JAMB for two or three times.

Then you gain admission into university. Then the university strike will slow you down.

Then you wait for a year or two for NYSC. By the time you finish you are close to 24.

Then the main huddle of looking for a job will start.

In all these the parents were the ones supporting you. If you are under their roof why won't you dance to their tune. And no help from Govt what so ever.

You only be out of the your parent house when you can pick up the bills. That is y some are not in a hurry to vacate their parent's home

But that is exactly the point. The parents are to blame since they are aware of how our society functions. Parents should encourage kids to get skills while in secondary school, such as computer training, generator repairs, carpentry, raising livestocks like goats, rabbits, grass cutters etc) so that they can be able to start working or run a small business(online or offline) while they are in secondary school, after waec, during the compulsory wait for admission and while they are in the university.

I strongly believe every parent should also open a savings account for their child and encourage the child to save part of their pocket money, monetary gifts and even menial jobs before they are 18 so as to ensure the child can have access to a little capital when he/she is 18. Parents can also help by saving a little token monthly towards that goal. For instance, if a parents pays N1,000 monthly that's N12,000 yearly and N216,000 after 18years minus interest. This coupled with the skill the child has learnt is enough for a child of 18 be better prepared for the world.

Don't you think?

hahn:
But that is exactly the point. The parents are to blame since they are aware of how our society functions. Parents should encourage kids to get skills while in secondary school, such as computer training, generator repairs, carpentry, raising livestocks like goats, rabbits, grass cutters etc) so that they can be able to start working or run a small business(online or offline) while they are in secondary school, after waec, during the compulsory wait for admission and while they are in the university.

I strongly believe every parent should also open a savings account for their child and encourage the child to save part of their pocket money, monetary gifts and even menial jobs before they are 18 so as to ensure the child can have access to a little capital when he/she is 18. Parents can also help by saving a little token monthly towards that goal. For instance, if a parents pays N1,000 monthly that's N12,000 yearly and N216,000 after 18years minus interest. This coupled with the skill the child has learnt is enough for a child of 18 be better prepared for the world.

Don't you think?

I agree with you to some extent. Remember it is the middle class and below middle class kids we are talking about here. Some parents can bearly afford 2 square meal in a day not to talk of saving.

I totally agree that some skills be learned so that one can measure up and be ready to face the storm of life. By the time the certificate job was not available, they can see something to fall back on.

I equally maintain that Government should play their own part so that young adult can get out of their parents house.

in most developed world, once you clock 18, you will be receiving some grants that can cover your rents and other bills ie if you are not working. All these are fonded by tax payers.

So what where they doing with money that the tax payer are paying in Nigeria. Not that there was good road or good water Supply.

Richy4:
I agree with you to some extent. Remember it is the middle class and below middle class kids we are talking about here. Some parents can bearly afford 2 square meal in a day not to talk of saving.

I totally agree that some skills be learned so that one can measure up and be ready to face the storm of life. By the time the certificate job was not available, they can see something to fall back on.

I equally maintain that Government should play their own part so that young adult can get out of their parents house.

in most developed world, once you clock 18, you will be receiving some grants that can cover your rents and other bills ie if you are not working. All these are fonded by tax payers.

So what where they doing with money that the tax payer are paying in Nigeria. Not that there was good road or good water Supply.

We've been waiting for donkey years and still the government haven't done anything. Parents can play their own part by raising disciplined and responsible kids(by responsible I mean being able to take care of themselves and accepting responsibility) who will grow up and add value to the society.

That can bring some change

hahn:
We've been waiting for donkey years and still the government haven't done anything. Parents can play their own part by raising disciplined and responsible kids(by responsible I mean being able to take care of themselves and accepting responsibility) who will grow up and add value to the society.

That can bring some change

I agree with you 100%. But if the government can play their part I guess Nigeria will be a great country. parents cannot do it all alone they need help.

Unfortunately the people that should be effecting that change are interested playing st.pid politics. Always interested in few hand down little change from the politicians instead of everlasting change

Richy4:
I agree with you 100%. But if the government can play their part I guess Nigeria will be a great country. parents cannot do it all alone they need help.

Unfortunately the people that should be effecting that change are interested playing st.pid politics. Always interested in few hand down little change from the politicians instead of everlasting change

Citizens should play their own part. The average Nigerian only complains without doing anything to change him/herself

hahn:
Citizens should play their own part. The average Nigerian only complains without doing anything to change him/herself

a thousand likes for dis comment. this is d crux of all d problem we av in nigeria. complaining witout making positive changes, even if de wanna make change, de make negative changes.

Hmm

At 18 years, a typical Nigerian boy or girl is not even ready to live alone..
The most important factor is money for personal upkeep and other expenses.

Where will it come from if the child goes to live on his/her own?

In Western countries, one can afford to move out of the family house because jobs are everywhere.
He/she can work while schooling. Some courses can be offered online because the internet works fine and is cheap.

The Nigerian society is different, plus parents are not in a hurry to chase their children away from the house.