₦airaland Forum

Chrystover:
seriously, e reach to vex.

And that one of staying on a prayer point for too long is damn ridiculous. Why should I keep repeating one sentence over and over again ? Is God having a hard time decoding whah I'm trying to say? Is wao.

Chrystover:
Oh.. So I'm not alone in this? Thanks Op for bringing this up.
On the part of screaming into the mics, its not only the church members that suffer the ear-aches; I equally suffer this noise pollution from my house, my supposed comfort zone. I mean...why will a sane religious society mount those Ahuja horn speakers outside their church? Why are they shoving their noise down our ears? Even in the quiet night, they still scream! Arghhhh!!!
The thunder that will fire The Lord's Chosen Church in my neighborhood is still peeling melon seeds.

And the so-called police will not do anything to enforce civility. All they want is egunje. Pfft!!

searching4love:



They are theives

They are God of gullible Men

They manipulate gullible minds for selfish gains

They don't win souls for God nor preach the real gospel of Christ

They are going to hell

They are fraudsters

They collect bribes from politicians and deceive the congregation

They live luxurious life while the congregation lives in penury

They build schools which most of their church members can't afford

They are proud bastards

They call themselves gate keeper of Hell

They use Juju to perform miracles

They smoke and drink privately

They commit adultery

They twist the Bible

Say no to biblical scammers

Mishydoo:
[size=17pt]One Pastor killed my patient.Told her to stop taking her HIV meds and drink holy water.she died the next week after 3weeks of drinkin fake holy water[/size]

Abosi31:

Source:
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1

Before I begin, I would want to state categorically, that I am not an atheist, I was born into a Christian home, and till now I still believe the world didn’t come about by some silly Big Bang Theory.

Over the weekend I attended two churches; the one a friend dragged me to on Saturday evening, and then on Sunday evening, Assemblies of God Church, my family church. I noticed some things which I didn’t like, and I’m sure the other worshippers did not like them too, but they had become used to them over time.

This is the blog, well, so I’ll just bare my mind here. The reason why it’s ‘Nigerian’ pastors on the title up ahead is because yours faithfully has never attended church service outside the country. So I’m quite assuming only Nigerian pastors do the following.


#1. Screaming into Microphones:

Oga, there’s a reason why the thing is called a microphone. It is to be talked into, or even whispered into (if your voice as loud as mine). There’s no need to shout into the mike. It pains the ears of the worshippers close to the speakers. And then, we all end up leaving church with our ears ringing. The worst part is when you people now scream in tongues during general prayers, unto God- with mike! Shey God will not hear you if you don’t use the mike? Haba!


#2. Breaking Bottles on our Heads:

Have you ever sat in a church and the pastor, during his sermon speaks grammar that makes you lose anointing? Jeez, me too! A pastor will go like: “Go to the extreme end, and call that sister. That demon has to be pursued out now-now!” The demon in the instance will even begin to laugh seriously. One thing that pains me is that these pastors have no regard most times for us, they don’t mind breaking our heads with those unscrupulous grammar and pronunciations,  because they're operating from cloud nine. Make una calm down, thank you.


#3. Staying on one Prayer Point for too long:

I personally detest this. Some pastors will make a simple prayer like, ‘God bless my family’ and turn it into a marathon race. They will stay on one topic for hours, and ginger and ginger us not to stop. It gets boring oh, Pastor. We are Nigerians and we get bored easily.


#4. Asking for too much:

I don’t mean financially this time. Some pastors are like some of our presidential candidates. They are born dictators and control freaks, and only hide behind the pulpit to force us to do things. I personally don’t like when a pastor says: “Walk to fifty-five people and welcome them to service this morning.” It causes problems for ushers as the church becomes rowdy. Also, some pastors like their congregation to repeat every sentence they say fourteen times, or obey every single order to the smallest detail. How will a pastor tell us: “Lift up your right hand and place it on your left breast, then put your left hand under your right shoulder. The anointing is about to flow.”? (Okay I'm exaggerating again), but how on earth are we supposed to pull that off?

#5. Ending every Sermon with Seed-Sowing:

Aha. I put this one last because it's the one you've been expecting to see. These days, even a sermon on how saints will be ruptured on the last day ends with certain pastors making alter calls for people interested in sowing seeds. This is after the church has collected like three times offering already oh. You should stop this oh. Sometimes we your congregation get milked in service to the extent that we also use our transport money to sow a seed. We really humans oh.


If my dear Nigerian pastors can resolve all these, then maybe my beef with them will reduce small. Abi no be so?



Meanwhile welcome to March guys! March on!

culled from :
http://www.escapedmydiary..de/2015/03/the-beef-with-nigerian-pastors.html?m=1

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

THIS MADE MY DAY BRO!

messpero90:
listen u dis dickhead op, u re so childish in ur thought, IF d pastors re nt suppose 2 scream with d microphone den y is musicians shouting their lungs out while singing? do u even know d importance of seed sowing in ur life? anyway when ure rich as i am u will undastand, why will u eva pick out d grammatical error of pastors at all? as if ure perfect in english. ur mates re getting d blessings from d message, "u are recieving curses. nd let me tell u wen a pastor stay lng on a prayer point, he is being led by d holy ghost so u dnt question wat u dnt understand. so pls little kid just focus on ur goals in life nd dnt argue wat u dnt undastand. 4 d ways of men are nt d ways of GOD.

messpero90:
listen u dis dickhead op, u re so childish in ur thought, IF d pastors re nt suppose 2 scream with d microphone den y is musicians shouting their lungs out while singing? do u even know d importance of seed sowing in ur life? anyway when ure rich as i am u will undastand, why will u eva pick out d grammatical error of pastors at all? as if ure perfect in english. ur mates re getting d blessings from d message, "u are recieving curses. nd let me tell u wen a pastor stay lng on a prayer point, he is being led by d holy ghost so u dnt question wat u dnt understand. so pls little kid just focus on ur goals in life nd dnt argue wat u dnt undastand. 4 d ways of men are nt d ways of GOD.

ChokolateBoss:
Ogbeni sharrap. FOH

searching4love:



They are theives

They are God of gullible Men

They manipulate gullible minds for selfish gains

They don't win souls for God nor preach the real gospel of Christ

They are going to hell

They are fraudsters

They collect bribes from politicians and deceive the congregation

They live luxurious life while the congregation lives in penury

They build schools which most of their church members can't afford

They are proud bastards

They call themselves gate keeper of Hell

They use Juju to perform miracles

They smoke and drink privately

They commit adultery

They twist the Bible

Say no to biblical scammers

Bobbysworld28:
Sowing seeds to god of men does absolutely nothing in ur life. Quote me: NOTHING!
It neither makes u rich nor poor, ok. U better use dt money to help the less privileged around u.
Staying too long on a prayer point is useless too. Jesus taught dt God does not hear u because of ur vain repititions
If u r led by d Holy Spirit u should display his virtues and one of such is excellence. It is not bad if u brush up ur English to acceptable standards as an ambassador.

Finally we dont want to know how rich u r. Take dt info to ur family members in ur village

Ekeke1:
Who wrote dis? u need some Jesus in ur life.

Ekeke1:
Who wrote dis? u need some Jesus in ur life.

searching4love:



They are theives

They are God of gullible Men

They manipulate gullible minds for selfish gains

They don't win souls for God nor preach the real gospel of Christ

They are going to hell

They are fraudsters

They collect bribes from politicians and deceive the congregation

They live luxurious life while the congregation lives in penury

They build schools which most of their church members can't afford

They are proud bastards

They call themselves gate keeper of Hell

They use Juju to perform miracles

They smoke and drink privately

They commit adultery

They twist the Bible

Say no to biblical scammers

Kingklent:
Guy small small make GOD no vex for you because of your utterance

searching4love:



They are theives

They are God of gullible Men

They manipulate gullible minds for selfish gains

They don't win souls for God nor preach the real gospel of Christ

They are going to hell

They are fraudsters

They collect bribes from politicians and deceive the congregation

They live luxurious life while the congregation lives in penury

They build schools which most of their church members can't afford

They are proud bastards

They call themselves gate keeper of Hell

They use Juju to perform miracles

They smoke and drink privately

They commit adultery

They twist the Bible

Say no to biblical scammers

messpero90:
listen u dis dickhead op, u re so childish in ur thought, IF d pastors re nt suppose 2 scream with d microphone den y is musicians shouting their lungs out while singing? do u even know d importance of seed sowing in ur life? anyway when ure rich as i am u will undastand, why will u eva pick out d grammatical error of pastors at all? as if ure perfect in english. ur mates re getting d blessings from d message, "u are recieving curses. nd let me tell u wen a pastor stay lng on a prayer point, he is being led by d holy ghost so u dnt question wat u dnt understand. so pls little kid just focus on ur goals in life nd dnt argue wat u dnt undastand. 4 d ways of men are nt d ways of GOD.

Kingklent:
which church do you attend

naijaboiy:
And you just sit there obeying everything.

That was how one time I went to a church with my cousin during the holidays and the pastor was preaching endlessly.

Hunger don dey fire me as I no chop before I comot house.

Service started at seven and it was already 10 with no sign of its end at all. I was feeling very dizzy and so I decided to go outside and rest in the car and maybe probably find something to eat outside before I faint there.

Immediately I stood up and was walking towards the back door I heard a loud cry.

"And that is one of the demons over there! They can appear in different forms,,this one is looking calm and presentable,,ushers bring him forward"

They brought me forward to the pastor and I was really confused on what to say.

My shouts of "i'm not a demon! I'm not a demon o" aggravated the whole issue.

If you see SLAP!

I just kept dumb and let them continue with their prayers.

I never went to that church with my cousin again.

messpero90:
christ embassy. and so