₦airaland Forum

Woman, you need to wake up to your responsibility. No one will help you except you help yourself, you have identified your husband weakness. Talk with him, try to know what he derive from it, fit yourself in his fantasies .........................you will need to change some of your cloths and lingerie. With this you should see changes.

mifavour:
some men are insatiable. If u like do all the styles u know while
l bleeping they can't just stop watching indecency!


bottom line the man is an addict! at d same time stvpid

Same wiv women 2....

Some girls r ready 2go TDB if its possible

Pls dont really understand the message in this write up. The said woman is not really hitting the nail on the head. What is her husband not doing?

EfemenaXY:
No. I'm saying she should quit acting like a log of wood in bed and get her freak on.

She probably scores a zero in the bedroom department. Why else is the poor man consoling himself with porn if not for her gross inadequacies in bed?

This is unbelievable!!!

How can you sit in your cozy bubble-filled world and judge this woman, when you know NOTHING of what she is passing through

This woman's husband is sick and you think it's her fault?

Something he probably was before she even met him . . . and now you think he is that way because she doesn't get her 'freak on'

There is a difference between a man watching porn for leisure and a porn-addict.

Didn't you read where she said it was even affecting his job? He is losing his senses to porn and you are think it has anything to do with her?

It's like saying men cheat because they have 'frigid' wives . . . Sounds lame~

ifyboi:
It does not matter whether his wife satisfies him or not. The point is he is addicted. The addiction cannot break even if his wife gets better in bed. have yu not heard of singles who are addicted to porn that get married and still remain addicted?

truth be told, pornography is causing a great havoc in today's society and we really have to do something about it. The major problem is that it is so readily avaliable on d Internet. ..


GOD HELP THIS GENERATION

I think she just misses the whole point of this thread . . .

Someone has an illness and she is pointing fingers. SMH!!!

striktlymi:
You presume too much!

Your comments suggest that the man turned to po.rn in marriage. This is not necessarily the case. Many men were already addicted to po.rn before they met their wives.

Also, a wife's performance in bed is no single determinant on whether the man stops his addiction to po.rn. The woman can be as good in bed as the next po.rn star but if the man is not ready to fight his demons, he will never overcome it.

It is rather insensitive to dwell on the woman's performance in bed (which by the way you have no idea of) as the cause (not even a possible cause) of the man's addiction. The man got addicted and he should take responsibility for his actions not the wife.

PS: It is unfair to ask any wife to compete with this kinda addiction given that the man's exposure cum addiction to po.rn exposes him to very many different ladies with very many different body shapes, different heights, very different skin colours etc.

Thus it is impossible for the wife to satisfy that which gives him satisfaction from po.rn because of the obvious, she is just one lady, with one body type, one skin colour etc while the man gets his feel from different po.rn stars not just one.

THANK GOD this is coming from a man . . . .

EfemenaXY:
So why did she marry him then?

To change him? Bwahahaha!

I think you need to go back . . take a deep breath . . . . and READ the OP!

Oildichotomy:
If a woman wrote those rumblings, that's disappointing I must say! The whole write-up is confusing and contains more of dribbling parables than actual situations or explicit complaints that need solutions.

The problem is from the woman obviously (I stand to be corrected though), Trust me if I'm a priest and I receive such letter, The woman will get some therapy recommendations.

!!!Woman stand up to your role and be your hubby porrnstar not some literature

Thank you joor. The letter started with my and then changed to we.Haba!

One junkie just sit don for bedroom de craft literature and they want us to believe it's an actual situation. Yeye de smell for here.

As much as i try to ignore this story, my conscience will not let me....
@Op, kindly forgive the men/boys that are replying you because they can never understand how women think or reason. They won't understand the pain

I feel your pain deeply, but i can tell you categorically that i personally will be devastated if my husband visit porn sites.

You have written that you are a catholic that means you are a Christian.

I will advice you thus;
1. Pornography has a spirit behind it, so you cannot wish it away or complain it away. You do not wrestle against flesh and blood...pls get down on your knees seriously
2. Treat your husband with kindness and love (will be difficult without God's grace) because he cannot help himself.....

Pray seriously because, the next anger will come, then resentment and bitterness.
There is this women intercessory prayer ministry that will turn your marriage around (as it did mine)- Their website is www.daughtersofdestiny-ng.org They are located opposite Oando filling station after Lagos Business School Lekki-Epe Exp. (after Ajah).

EfemenaXY:
Boring stuff from a possibly frigid wife.

Gbam!

Avoid mastubation b4 it's truncates ur destiny.. watching porn lyk u do maks one yo mastubate.
Dnt say I did nt warn u

Edusouls:
brother no jesus involved there,95% of men love pornography and i luv it too, it relaxes us both body and soul..the african woman is a wash out, she dosent even know how to satisfy her husband in bed and she dosent care..so men got to find their way...

SweetWJ:
.
.
Well, u may be right but i will not agree with you.
I will still disprove your point with the following reasons.
1. Men are different from women when it comes to pretence or being secretive. A woman can pretend or hide a secret longer than the man for the simple reason that women are more sensitive, more intuitive and more instinctive than men. They easily feel it when something is going wrong. Some may say that its not all women but am telling you all women are of this nature. If this is absent in any women then its because she married with a different interest and not because she love the man or she's among those women chasing after money, power and societal recognition.
From the story, the woman only discovered after 15yrs. What do you make of that? If truly the man was addicted before marriage, then she is grossly incompetent in her duty as a good housewife.
2. Most men who are addicted to porn before marriage also engage the women to be part of their adventure so that both of them can rehearse what they watched together.
3. The woman is a troublesome type because from the story, she said she wished it was a real physical woman her husband was having affair with so that she will know whom to fight. Most women believe that fighting a husbands concubine can solve it.
3. The woman fail to realise as a christian woman that she need to keep her family together with Gods words. The bible say that homes are made by the wisdom of women but it is destroyed by foolishness. Prov. 14v1. Where does she belong in this scripture. Carefully read the story and you find out that the woman did not even make any effort to communicate with her husband about the situation and possibly remedy it rather she was even wishing he was doing drugs which is even the worse. To me this woman is only looking for an excuse to leave the marriage. She is looking for a concrete excuse. In that letter to the priest she said it clearly that she not giving an advice and also not soliciting for any help.
The woman knows exactly what she's doing. She is only angry because she now realose that what she is doing to pain the man is now resulting to abstract jealousy on her part (how women hate this).
4. The may have indulge in porn for self satisfaction as the wife who is supposed to satisfy his sexual needs is starving him (women are expert in this) and he doesnt want to be caught in adultery with another woman due to his position in the church.
To crown it all, i blame the man as well. Because salvation is personal. He should have thought about his soul and the wellbeing of the children as well.
I rest my case.

I agree with you that the woman is not sensitive enough not to know that all this go on for 15yrs, however women can be blind when in love that this happened. I agree that her reaction of saying having a fellow woman would have even been more tolerable. I however wants to point out that she never said in her lettter that she prefers a drug addict, rather she said 'another woman (probably going through a similar ordeal) prefers.
What I however want us to understand is that her frustration is quite understandable and are hinge on the following premise:
1. Her husband is a knight in the church and somebody everyone else probably respects so much. In essence this is a man who lives a double-faced life. Holy outside but rotten at home. More painful to the woman is the fact that after she come to know her husband perversion (and they both probably discussed it because she claimed her husband is forthcoming with his challenge with ponography), the man rather than seek to change becomes more hardened in his perversion. She claimed 'he hides and deceives more'. He goes regularly to confession but does nothing concrete to amend his ways.
2. She is struggling to keep her boys away from the perversion but their father leaves soft magazine and porn internet address around for children to pick. This is the most agonizing part of the story. Understandably the man is already into the habit but he can help ensure the children don't pick the bad habit. It is really difficult to teach children a behaviour isn't good when that is exactly what their father brazenly does. If you have been involved in training children within a home setting, you will understand the dilemma the woman is faced with. The most potent form of learning is passive learning - where behaviours/actions of people around rather than active teaching serves as medium of teaching. The bible says ' A house divided against itself cannot stand.

My brother I have had to stand and teach married people at some point in a church group before and what I used to tell people is that children are the critical elements in marriage. The father and mother are already formed and there is little anyone can do to change them. However children especially when small can still be model into a far better version of ourselves, they can be upgrade on their parents but that take a collaboration between the father and the mother. Both need to look at themselves, search out for their negatives and work assiduously to ensure such is not replicate in their children. It takes collaboration between the man and his wife and when one fails to cooperate, it ends up quite sadly frustrating the other spouse. This is a reality and the truth of what the woman is going through. The husband has decided to unknowingly raise another generation of perverts. She has basis for the frustration and sometimes the reason to say the marriage doesn't worth it. Of what essence is 50years of marital life if at old age all one has to show for it are sets of perverted children?
I am however not saying the woman should quit her marriage. I am not an advocate of divorce for that create its own problem and destroy the filial love the children ought to incalcate by living with both parents. I will rather advice that the woman in question patiently and prayerfully bear her cross for what is impossible for man is possible with God (Luke 18:27).

Finally if this habit is affecting the man's work and he is the bread winner of the house, then a woman that loves her family has worse to fear. What would happen the family if the man loses his job and can no longer fend for his home? Marriage is tough and only she who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. Let us not be always quick to judge others.

EfemenaXY:
You still don't get it.

He is addicted to porn because it serves as a medium for him to subconsciously indulge in his fantasies.

The question is: why? Why does he have to turn to porn despite having a wife? Why can't she be what he watches.

She should shape up fast before this man acts on his fantasies with a real, live, babe...rather than running to confession with her Christian mother arms.

Inspiritus Sanctum.

How do you know he wasnt into porn when they got married? Once you are addicted to porn, even if you get married to your favorite porn star, it's still difficult as hell to quit and takes a lot of courage and self discipline.

EfemenaXY:
There is nothing wrong with the man.

Is he the one complaining?

I have read your responses to this topic.In order to put them properly in perspective I'd appreciate it if you can indulge me by answering the ffg questions:

1. Are u married?
2. If yes, for how long?

And who granted you the permission to dedicate this page to some ill-meaning personalities in polithieves?

olola4:
na WA o and porn star,magazine are increasing everyday.
I think d woman av to take a bold step by reporting d husband to his parent or at least a cleric.Evenn d porn av put d man into a type of bondage which he himself may not like BT it is hard to quit...takes d grace of God.


I taught I won't make FP b4 d election BT I did.
Once again I dedicate dis page to.....

GMB/PYO
AND
AMBODE
You av my vote.

Then lets meet in d court of law.:p
i am a victim.

englishmart:
yeah!

Ask 2face Idiamin..... Lols.
I go through such every now and then.

Larrylarex:
I need proof

striktlymi:
You presume too much!

Your comments suggest that the man turned to po.rn in marriage. This is not necessarily the case. Many men were already addicted to po.rn before they met their wives.

Also, a wife's performance in bed is no single determinant on whether the man stops his addiction to po.rn. The woman can be as good in bed as the next po.rn star but if the man is not ready to fight his demons, he will never overcome it.

It is rather insensitive to dwell on the woman's performance in bed (which by the way you have no idea of) as the cause (not even a possible cause) of the man's addiction. The man got addicted and he should take responsibility for his actions not the wife.

PS: It is unfair to ask any wife to compete with this kinda addiction given that the man's exposure cum addiction to po.rn exposes him to very many different ladies with very many different body shapes, different heights, very different skin colours etc.

Thus it is impossible for the wife to satisfy that which gives him satisfaction from po.rn because of the obvious, she is just one lady, with one body type, one skin colour etc while the man gets his feel from different po.rn stars not just one.

.
Everyone indludin your very are all presuming because we are not the one directly involved and the couples are not here to defend themselves.
There's nothing wrong with what Efemena posted.
If u feel the man should take responsibilities for being addicted to porn, u may be right but not entirely correct because the man is not d one complaining.
I am not moved by those tears of hers.
They are crocodile tears.

God bless u my dear. D truth is bitter but it must b told.
U seem to me an Urhobo person.

EfemenaXY:
I am not a man.

Even as a woman, I understand the poor man's frustrations.

SweetWJ:
.
Everyone indludin your very are all presuming because we are not the one directly involved and the couples are not here to defend themselves.
There's nothing wrong with what Efemena posted.
If u feel the man should take responsibilities for being addicted to porn, u may be right but not entirely correct because the man is not d one complaining.
I am not moved by those tears of hers.
They are crocodile tears.

I care less what you feel or do not feel for her. A person who does wrong is totally responsible for his actions, otherwise the individual is still a child yet to attain the age of reason.

For the Efemena posts, there is everything wrong with them.

smakati:
actually its jada fire, but don't ask me how I know

The Bible says "by their fruits we shall know dem"

Every marriage is different and unique. We can't make generalisations about attitudes towards stuff like porn cause some wives would prefer porn to infidelity. If a wife feels porn is a problem or threat to her marriage, she should be willing to take up the issue with her husband.
Porn addiction is a symptom not a disease. Treat the root cause and you'll be fine.

People making milestone out of nothing since 300BC

Por.n is only a problem when one makes it so.

Wedon:
This is unbelievable!!!

How can you sit in your cozy bubble-filled world and judge this woman, when you know NOTHING of what she is passing through

This woman's husband is sick and you think it's her fault?

Something he probably was before she even met him . . . and now you think he is that way because she doesn't get her 'freak on'

There is a difference between a man watching porn for leisure and a porn-addict.

Didn't you read where she said it was even affecting his job? He is losing his senses to porn and you are think it has anything to do with her?

It's like saying men cheat because they have 'frigid' wives . . . Sounds lame~

.
Pls let us all behave matured. Attacking someone else's comment is not d best. We are all here to learn something out of the situation at hand, and everyone is entitled to his/her speech regarding the issue. If your own opinion is different, then post it and lets see it and propably it may uncover something we are missing.
And if someone comment is out of point, u can respectfully correct it and this will show that you are mature, intellectually sound and responsible. And the person may gladly accept it rather than beefing with words which can generat strife. Lets show love.
One Nigeria.

striktlymi:
I care less what you feel or do not feel for her. A person who does wrong is totally responsible for his actions, otherwise the individual is still a child yet to attain the age of reason.

For the Efemena posts, there is everything wrong with them.

.
And how do u define takong responsibility for actions? Is it when someone is complaining about your way of life or caught in a criminal act and u try to blame it on someone else?
What u fail to note is dat d man isn't d one complainin here.
Do consider why d man d hid it from d wife? Or did u properly understand d content of dat letter? If u evaluate d woman's words u will find out dat d woman is not seekin for a solution to d problem rather she is making d priest aware of state of things so dat wen she reacts, no one will blame her.
She was only concerned about d welfare and future of her kids. Her mind is made up on what to do because she allowed resentment, hatred, abstract jealousy and anger to get d better side of her thereby it beclouded her good sense of reasoning and love for the man.
If this woman still love the man, this is just a minor case to handle especially when she's a christian.
Cases that are more complicated than dis have been dealt with single-handedly by those rare women that i call "virtuous ones".

Its simple. Just go through d OP once more and u will find out.

annoymous:
How do you know he wasnt into porn when they got married? Once you are addicted to porn, even if you get married to your favorite porn star, it's still difficult as hell to quit and takes a lot of courage and self discipline.

tete7000:
I agree with you that the woman is not sensitive enough not to know that all this go on for 15yrs, however women can be blind when in love that this happened. I agree that her reaction of saying having a fellow woman would have even been more tolerable. I however wants to point out that she never said in her lettter that she prefers a drug addict, rather she said 'another woman (probably going through a similar ordeal) prefers.
What I however want us to understand is that her frustration is quite understandable and are hinge on the following premise:
1. Her husband is a knight in the church and somebody everyone else probably respects so much. In essence this is a man who lives a double-faced life. Holy outside but rotten at home. More painful to the woman is the fact that after she come to know her husband perversion (and they both probably discussed it because she claimed her husband is forthcoming with his challenge with ponography), the man rather than seek to change becomes more hardened in his perversion. She claimed 'he hides and deceives more'. He goes regularly to confession but does nothing concrete to amend his ways.
2. She is struggling to keep her boys away from the perversion but their father leaves soft magazine and porn internet address around for children to pick. This is the most agonizing part of the story. Understandably the man is already into the habit but he can help ensure the children don't pick the bad habit. It is really difficult to teach children a behaviour isn't good when that is exactly what their father brazenly does. If you have been involved in training children within a home setting, you will understand the dilemma the woman is faced with. The most potent form of learning is passive learning - where behaviours/actions of people around rather than active teaching serves as medium of teaching. The bible says ' A house divided against itself cannot stand.

My brother I have had to stand and teach married people at some point in a church group before and what I used to tell people is that children are the critical elements in marriage. The father and mother are already formed and there is little anyone can do to change them. However children especially when small can still be model into a far better version of ourselves, they can be upgrade on their parents but that take a collaboration between the father and the mother. Both need to look at themselves, search out for their negatives and work assiduously to ensure such is not replicate in their children. It takes collaboration between the man and his wife and when one fails to cooperate, it ends up quite sadly frustrating the other spouse. This is a reality and the truth of what the woman is going through. The husband has decided to unknowingly raise another generation of perverts. She has basis for the frustration and sometimes the reason to say the marriage doesn't worth it. Of what essence is 50years of marital life if at old age all one has to show for it are sets of perverted children?
I am however not saying the woman should quit her marriage. I am not an advocate of divorce for that create its own problem and destroy the filial love the children ought to incalcate by living with both parents. I will rather advice that the woman in question patiently and prayerfully bear her cross for what is impossible for man is possible with God (Luke 18:27).

Finally if this habit is affecting the man's work and he is the bread winner of the house, then a woman that loves her family has worse to fear. What would happen the family if the man loses his job and can no longer fend for his home? Marriage is tough and only she who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. Let us not be always quick to judge others.

.
Wow! Bravo. Nice, well articulated speech.
You spoke well but u are still missing some points here.
1. According to the story, this woman did not show any signs of love towards her husband in this issue. No woman who truly loves her husband will wish that the man is having affair outside matrimony. A woman who really loves her husband would do anything possible to remedy the problem or challenges the man is having. A woman who loves her husband cannot be blinded by love for 15yrs and could not notice what the husband is privately indulging in. It simply means there's a gap in the union. So if you say she was blinded by love, i will take as flimsy defence based on sentiments.
2. In your last paragraph or so, you said we should not be quick to judge. I dont know your own definition of judge. Let me correct you. To judge someone is to condemn someone's actions or deeds by passing a sentence of guilt based on facts and witnesses account beyond all reasonable doubt. But here, we are just pointing out her failures, inadequacies and gross incompetence on her part as a good wife that she ought to be therefore we are criticising her actions. Also note that the man in question has

tete7000:
I agree with you that the woman is not sensitive enough not to know that all this go on for 15yrs, however women can be blind when in love that this happened. I agree that her reaction of saying having a fellow woman would have even been more tolerable. I however wants to point out that she never said in her lettter that she prefers a drug addict, rather she said 'another woman (probably going through a similar ordeal) prefers.
What I however want us to understand is that her frustration is quite understandable and are hinge on the following premise:
1. Her husband is a knight in the church and somebody everyone else probably respects so much. In essence this is a man who lives a double-faced life. Holy outside but rotten at home. More painful to the woman is the fact that after she come to know her husband perversion (and they both probably discussed it because she claimed her husband is forthcoming with his challenge with ponography), the man rather than seek to change becomes more hardened in his perversion. She claimed 'he hides and deceives more'. He goes regularly to confession but does nothing concrete to amend his ways.
2. She is struggling to keep her boys away from the perversion but their father leaves soft magazine and porn internet address around for children to pick. This is the most agonizing part of the story. Understandably the man is already into the habit but he can help ensure the children don't pick the bad habit. It is really difficult to teach children a behaviour isn't good when that is exactly what their father brazenly does. If you have been involved in training children within a home setting, you will understand the dilemma the woman is faced with. The most potent form of learning is passive learning - where behaviours/actions of people around rather than active teaching serves as medium of teaching. The bible says ' A house divided against itself cannot stand.

My brother I have had to stand and teach married people at some point in a church group before and what I used to tell people is that children are the critical elements in marriage. The father and mother are already formed and there is little anyone can do to change them. However children especially when small can still be model into a far better version of ourselves, they can be upgrade on their parents but that take a collaboration between the father and the mother. Both need to look at themselves, search out for their negatives and work assiduously to ensure such is not replicate in their children. It takes collaboration between the man and his wife and when one fails to cooperate, it ends up quite sadly frustrating the other spouse. This is a reality and the truth of what the woman is going through. The husband has decided to unknowingly raise another generation of perverts. She has basis for the frustration and sometimes the reason to say the marriage doesn't worth it. Of what essence is 50years of marital life if at old age all one has to show for it are sets of perverted children?
I am however not saying the woman should quit her marriage. I am not an advocate of divorce for that create its own problem and destroy the filial love the children ought to incalcate by living with both parents. I will rather advice that the woman in question patiently and prayerfully bear her cross for what is impossible for man is possible with God (Luke 18:27).

Finally if this habit is affecting the man's work and he is the bread winner of the house, then a woman that loves her family has worse to fear. What would happen the family if the man loses his job and can no longer fend for his home? Marriage is tough and only she who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. Let us not be always quick to judge others.

PART TWO
The man in question has not given his own version of this story which may open up some can of worms that might make some of us here change our initial comments.
I understand this woman's frustration quite well as u highlighted but from my own view, i see three things.
A. Instead of attacking the root cause of her frustrations, she is wishing.
B. She was concerned only about herself and the future of the kids.
C. She is not in control of her emotions. She allowed resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger take the better side of her and thereby it override and becloud her love and good sense of reasoning. And if she continues this way, she will aggravate that which she has been trying to protect. U were correct to say he who wears the shoe knows where it pinches most. Fine. What do you do to such shoe?
Apart from these, every other thing you posted are very sound especially in the area of the kids wellbeing and that she should prayerfully bear the cross which i feel is what she can't cope with.
God bless u all

SweetWJ:
.
And how do u define takong responsibility for actions? Is it when someone is complaining about your way of life or caught in a criminal act and u try to blame it on someone else?
What u fail to note is dat d man isn't d one complainin here.
Do consider why d man d hid it from d wife? Or did u properly understand d content of dat letter? If u evaluate d woman's words u will find out dat d woman is not seekin for a solution to d problem rather she is making d priest aware of state of things so dat wen she reacts, no one will blame her.
She was only concerned about d welfare and future of her kids. Her mind is made up on what to do because she allowed resentment, hatred, abstract jealousy and anger to get d better side of her thereby it beclouded her good sense of reasoning and love for the man.
If this woman still love the man, this is just a minor case to handle especially when she's a christian.
Cases that are more complicated than dis have been dealt with single-handedly by those rare women that i call "virtuous ones".

Do you have any idea what marriage is or as it is applicable in Catholicism? If you do, then you won't make this as trivial as you made it sound.

The marital bond is so sacred in Catholicism that a deliberate act of deceit (on a serious matter) from one spouse to another, before the marriage is consummated, can be a valid ground for annulment.

All it takes is for the lady to prove that the man kept away a vital information, which ordinarily would have impacted on her agreeing to the man's proposal for marriage.

It is not only baseless but also ridiculous to suggest that the wife does not love the man simply because she demonstrated a lack of tolerance for what both of them believe to be distasteful and heinous.

It matters not who is complaining. The fact that a drunkard or drug addict does not complain about his habits does not imply that those who agreed to marry them (without being acquainted with their habits) do not have the right to complain.

For God's sake, this lady is the man's wife and you expect her to sit down, take everything like the 'dutiful' wife you expect her to be? If she had done that then she won't be any better than a robot.

The guy should sought himself out and stop being the cause of sorrow for the wife.

striktlymi:
Do you have any idea what marriage is or as it is applicable in Catholicism? If you do, then you won't make this as trivial as you made it sound.

The marital bond is so sacred in Catholicism that a deliberate act of deceit (on a serious matter) from one spouse to another, before the marriage is consummated, can be a valid ground for annulment.

All it takes is for the lady to prove that the man kept away a vital information, which ordinarily would have impacted on her agreeing to the man's proposal for marriage.

It is not only baseless but also ridiculous to suggest that the wife does not love the man simply because she demonstrated a lack of tolerance for what both of them believe to be distasteful and heinous.

It matters not who is complaining. The fact that a drunkard or drug addict does not complain about his habits does not imply that those who agreed to marry them (without being acquainted with their habits) do not have the right to complain.

For God's sake, this lady is the man's wife and you expect her to sit down, take everything like the 'dutiful' wife you expect her to be? If she had done that then she won't be any better than a robot.

The guy should sought himself out and stop being the cause of sorrow for the wife.

.
Wonderful. What a flimsy sentimental defence.
To begin, i hereby notify you that i am a responsibly married man with two sweet kids. 14 and 11yrs old respectively. Paid the bride price and wedded in a holy matrimony. So, you can see that am not a baby in marital issues.
As for marriage application in Catholicism, i have no idea because am not a member.
Your points in this issue is biased and invalid because the couples in question are already in marriage for 20yrs and the woman only discovered this addictive habit after 15yrs of marriage with kids. So the issue of annulment is over-ruled except you are an advocate of divorce.
My point now is this, assuming the man was an addict before marriage (which i still find hard to concur) an it took the woman 15yrs to discover it means there was a breach or void in their initimacy as couple which the enemy saw and capitalised upon.
And i find this as a gross incompetence and insensitivity on the part of the woman.

If i said the woman doesn't love the man, you should have asked me why and i will glady explain to you in case you dont understand instead of resorting to the use of frivolous words. What i meant was that the woman should have seek for help and prayers especially from the priest in her letter instead she even made it clear that she is not advising and also not asking for any help. What do you make out of that? I did not say what she did by speaking out is lack of love and that may be your own presumption. What i expected of her is to help rescue this man out of his addictive captor. Her approach to the issue was totally wong due to lack of love and what do you expect when you do the right thing at the wrong time in a wrong way using a wrong approach?

I laughed when i saw this statement:
"It matters not who is complaining. The fact that a drunkard or drug addict does not complain about his habits does not imply that those who agreed to marry them (without being acquainted with their habits) do not have the right to complain."
What would you call a woman that married a man with such habits unknowingly her only to discover after 15yrs? SUPERSTORY.

And to make things worse, you are saying that the man should sort himself out? What a baby statement.
If someone falls into a deep well, do you render help by calling out for assistance when you feel you cant do it alone or do you leave him there to drown and die and go about telling stories of how his misdeed landed him inside there?
For Gods sake we should also consider the possible trauma this man is going through psychologically and emotionally.
What if the man is enjoying the addiction and you are here saying he should sort himself out because a lousy wife's ramblings. That will only happen when chickens starts growing teeth, dogs nose becoming white and even satan repents.
Some people think that a complainant is always innocent.

The best way out is that the woman should review her life and make up for her shortcomings, then seek for Gods intervention and all will be well.

This is my verdict.

C O U R R R R R T.

SweetWJ:
.
Wonderful. What a flimsy sentimental defence.
To begin, i hereby notify you that i am a responsibly married man with two sweet kids. 14 and 11yrs old respectively. Paid the bride price and wedded in a holy matrimony. So, you can see that am not a baby in marital issues.
As for marriage application in Catholicism, i have no idea because am not a member.
Your points in this issue is biased and invalid because the couples in question are already in marriage for 20yrs and the woman only discovered this addictive habit after 15yrs of marriage with kids. So the issue of annulment is over-ruled except you are an advocate of divorce.
My point now is this, assuming the man was an addict before marriage (which i still find hard to concur) an it took the woman 15yrs to discover it means there was a breach or void in their initimacy as couple which the enemy saw and capitalised upon.
And i find this as a gross incompetence and insensitivity on the part of the woman.

If i said the woman doesn't love the man, you should have asked me why and i will glady explain to you in case you dont understand instead of resorting to the use of frivolous words. What i meant was that the woman should have seek for help and prayers especially from the priest in her letter instead she even made it clear that she is not advising and also not asking for any help. What do you make out of that? I did not say what she did by speaking out is lack of love and that may be your own presumption. What i expected of her is to help rescue this man out of his addictive captor. Her approach to the issue was totally wong due to lack of love and what do you expect when you do the right thing at the wrong time in a wrong way using a wrong approach?

I laughed when i saw this statement:
"It matters not who is complaining. The fact that a drunkard or drug addict does not complain about his habits does not imply that those who agreed to marry them (without being acquainted with their habits) do not have the right to complain."
What would you call a woman that married a man with such habits unknowingly her only to discover after 15yrs? SUPERSTORY.

And to make things worse, you are saying that the man should sort himself out? What a baby statement.
If someone falls into a deep well, do you render help by calling out for assistance when you feel you cant do it alone or do you leave him there to drown and die and go about telling stories of how his misdeed landed him inside there?
For Gods sake we should also consider the possible trauma this man is going through psychologically and emotionally.
What if the man is enjoying the addiction and you are here saying he should sort himself out because a lousy wife's ramblings. That will only happen when chickens starts growing teeth, dogs nose becoming white and even satan repents.
Some people think that a complainant is always innocent.

The best way out is that the woman should review her life and make up for her shortcomings, then seek for Gods intervention and all will be well.

This is my verdict.

C O U R R R R R T.

Didn't read cause it wouldn't make any sense.