EfemenaXY:


You still don't get it.

He is addicted to porn because it serves as a medium for him to subconsciously indulge in his fantasies.

The question is: why? Why does he have to turn to porn despite having a wife? Why can't she be what he watches.

She should shape up fast before this man acts on his fantasies with a real, live, babe...rather than running to confession with her Christian mother arms.

Inspiritus Sanctum.

EfemenaXY:


No. I'm saying she should quit acting like a log of wood in bed and get her freak on.

She probably scores a zero in the bedroom department. Why else is the poor man consoling himself with porn if not for her gross inadequacies in bed?

metroid:
From the tone of the letter the woman is a church traditional person....1 style woman which became boring to the husband. Maybe he has always wanted his dick sucked and oh its a sin according to his church wife ok...Let me suck your p*ssy...oh! You are surely going to hell...I will report you to Pastor. Then one night after boring sex oga sat on computer to work he discover porn and it felt good even better dan that pile of skin over there. The day he meets the woman of his dreams madam you lose your husband for real. Woman go and check your husban porn history learn from it and give your husband the best night of his life.

Redlips22:
It's a bad habit..
Only Jesus.can save him

Bennymontana:
[quote author=striktlymi post=well that's what the priest told me,and I tink I wanna stick with that,cos I"ve heard peps that complain of how boring their married lives has become...and sometimes I have listened to suggestions married people get from priests...so,the way I see it,aint nothin wrong wit porn cos its meant to teach newbies and people that wanna spice up their married lives!...missionary style can be boring sometimes;so,sometimes...u knw

lonelydora:


Yes now. So since me & you dey France dey school you no know. Awum nwa afo Igbo

EfemenaXY:


You still don't get it.

He is addicted to porn because it serves as a medium for him to subconsciously indulge in his fantasies.

The question is: why? Why does he have to turn to porn despite having a wife? Why can't she be what he watches.

She should shape up fast before this man acts on his fantasies with a real, live, babe...rather than running to confession with her Christian mother arms.

Inspiritus Sanctum.

olu77:


Honestly, Christ came to set us free but we inflict heavier bondages on ourselves: I think the law that limits priests to barchelorhood for life should be reverted because higher % of these priests engage in these secret sins and most of them are only interested in priesthood for the lust of fame or wealth.

EfemenaXY:


Really?

I'm Catholic and I've never heard that màstürbátiön and watching pörnögraphy are sinful. Especially for a married couple.

EfemenaXY:

That aside, do you swallow everything the church feeds you hook, line, and sinker?? The church frowns on the use of contraceptives. Does that mean I'll birth like a rabbit, risk my health, and bring in more kids than I can realistically afford to cater for on the church's say so?

Guy please.

cinovikthor:
At this point, konji can no longer be blamed but the devil...cos marriage doesn't have knackin restrictions....so why is he on that self servicing trips?? nna mehn mayb he even scared of contacting std from his wife? *just saying......*strolling from chibok I'd be in lagos soon*

dewstar:


I can see you know nothing about addiction. How much satisfaction can you give to a serial killer to stop him from killing? How much satisfaction can you offer a paedophile to prevent him from continuing to fantasize about sleeping with children? Bro, the human mind ain't simply an on and off switch. Truth is, give that man a 100 women to run his fantasies on and he still will prefer being satisfied by 2D porn. Most times, the only way to satisfy such a man is when he sits down on a sofa to watch another man Bleep his wife the way he sees it on screen. Simply put, watching others do it is where the addiction truly is.

EfemenaXY:


I am not a man.

Even as a woman, I understand the poor man's frustrations.

tete7000:


And who told you the man has not been into porn before he got married? So you think the whole thing started after marriage because of the failure of the woman in bed? I guess you might be wrong there, porn is addictive and many who engage in it start it long before they get married, often times in their teenage years and its not a disease marriage will necessarily stop. Infact, a person who is into porn will find it difficult to get satisfaction from marriage, he/she continuously continue to struggle with perverted fantasies got from watching blue films. I often advice many young people to avoid temptation of starting it because once they start, it is often difficult to stop. Same with masturbation, smoking, drinking and all form of behaviours that have addictive tendencies.

tete7000:


And who told you the man has not been into porn before he got married? So you think the whole thing started after marriage because of the failure of the woman in bed? I guess you might be wrong there, porn is addictive and many who engage in it start it long before they get married, often times in their teenage years and its not a disease marriage will necessarily stop. Infact, a person who is into porn will find it difficult to get satisfaction from marriage, he/she continuously continue to struggle with perverted fantasies got from watching blue films. I often advice many young people to avoid temptation of starting it because once they start, it is often difficult to stop. Same with masturbation, smoking, drinking and all form of behaviours that have addictive tendencies.

englishmart:
in france, Je ne parle français. And not igbo

EfemenaXY:


No. I'm saying she should quit acting like a log of wood in bed and get her freak on.

She probably scores a zero in the bedroom department. Why else is the poor man consoling himself with porn if not for her gross inadequacies in bed?

SmooshCHN:
Nonsense!!! I wasted my time. How will a man with children prefer to watch Pórn than to service his wife? Most of them catholics still look at Long Pleasure able Sex as impurity and now the Husband has sought to an alternative. She even preferred if he was Banging another woman. I'm sure the man is tired of begging as Men hate to beg for what they are entitled to. In this way at least he is no longer disturbing her. Very funny woman. Make she dey there till she has to compete with another woman who would be surfing on her husband's . .... ...... Nonsense

ask4bk:


Don't blame it on the Church.
I'm catholic and we are told in premarriage courses that it's the duty of a spouse to satisfy the other fully. This involves communication between the two, to know what gives them the best satisfaction. And if a spouse doesn't do it, then he/she has failed.

We are told this in the Catholic Church. But some people still don't learn. They feel ashamed to talk about sex pleasure with each other. Like "Nneka, biko let me stay under and u stand on my Dick and pound it like a horse. I like it" or "Femi, pls before u insert, I love it if u stimulate my clito.ris with ur hands"

They are ashamed to say it, and I wonder why. Well it's all on personality. With my personality I won't hide what I want to my wife.

So don't blame Church. They are told to explore themselves sexually, but they don't. Others do, and their family is rocking.

Oildichotomy:
Why the face Nelly?

SmooshCHN:
Sorry I generalized, I didn't mean it that way. But I get your point. Couples will save their marriage the more they open up to each other. Beliefs shouldn't be a reason for broken marriage.

englishmart:
konji no be excuse for this matter o..

If we wey no get babe dey blame konji for our jonsings, married man wey get freedom of knaking no suppose yarn any shiiiit

emusmith:
Sub Topic: How Do You Cope With A Porn Addicted Spouse?

This article had an impact in me and I'm sure it will do same or more if you open up your mind and heart.



Truth be told, addiction to porn has quietly destroyed some Nigerian marriages.

I just read this anonymous letter from the wife of a porn addict and had to share it here tonight. The letter was passed on from a priest who received it from one of his parishioners.

Read and let's hear what you think, guys.

Dear Father,

I write to you in an anonymous fashion because if I were to tell you who I am, I would be ashamed to come to the confessional, to Mass, to the place where I am gratefully being nourished. I thank you for the wonderful priest you are and for the pastoring you provide to all of us.

Anonymously in your pews are women holding families together against the destructive forces of pornography on our husbands and sons. We are hurting and ashamed, tolerating– not enjoying – marriages and dealing with our inadequacies and depression.

Personally, I feel like the 15 years of my marriage before my discovery were one big lie; that I have been “duped” by an otherwise faithful, church-involved, Knights of Columbus husband.

In the three years since my awareness was heightened, I have come to believe that an affair would have actually been easier to tolerate; for perhaps I could compete with flesh and bones, but not with this. That pleasure and satisfaction can come to my husband from something so 2-dimensional has shaken me to the core;my very sense of who I am and what I am worth is utterly destroyed.

My world was turned upside down and I know if not for our children, I would have left the marriage.

Unbecoming of me, I daydream about that day when I might still. I am certain you are hearing it in the confessional from the husbands; my own husband has now been forthcoming in his challenges with pornography and about his frequent confessions of the sin. He initially felt great relief that I knew and somehow thought that my knowing would give him greater resistance against the temptation.

Unfortunately, I think it just makes him deceive and “hide” more. If this doesn’t destroy our marriage, I fear my “response” will. The other side is the woman’s side: our sin is the profound anger and inability to forgive because it doesn’t stop; how do we trust it even would? Some husbands regret their failure to stand up against this temptation; many do not even think there’s a problem, but it has them held captive.

I have heard another woman say she would rather her husband were doing drugs; at least there are programs to get past that demon. I am confident this is affecting my husband’s ability to do his job, and I imagine it is threatening the security of his employment. My now sinful thoughts are giving in to anger; my energy expended trying to keep our home free of the temptations that come with every latest technology; my “revengeful spending” – these are not what God has called me to. I constantly replay Jesus on the cross saying “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they do,” but I answer myself with a “but, no one told Jesus they would love him and honor him all the days of their life.”I have sons who serve at the altar, and I fear for them and their futures; for their future wives.

I try to teach my teenage boys about purity, the value of their sexuality, and the Theology of the Body, but they know the magazines and websites of their father, who is a “good man” and “receives the sacraments”—so I am just the “old-fashioned” prude of a mother. I feel constantly under attack, and it doesn’t seem there will be an end to my hurting.

I wish there were a support group for the women suffering this way, but we are all so ashamed that we can’t satisfy our husbands enough, and afraid to make it public and destroy our husbands’ reputations, that none of us would come. We simply suffer and die inside alone.

I am not offering any advice or asking you to do anything about this. Perhaps you can just say a prayer now and then for the wives in your parish trying to hold a family together.

Thank you for tolerating my rambling here. Thank you.

Courtesy of Aggie Catholics.