₦airaland Forum

Chai, God punish devil, see wetin op wan suffer me read before. Thank God say i escape by stopping half way as i just realised what he was driving at.

You couldn't have said it any better

30 is the new 18...

One of the complications to life as u so succintly put it is really the economic situation in Nigeria, family life and pressure from friends.
Also, parents fear of letting their kids suffer because of their own past experiences.

I can never forget the day I travelled to Ghana .I was on flight with one guy with his mom,after arrival,The mom said"my son please face your studies and be a good boy"she turned back and was about boarding another flight to naija..the dude should be around 28 and I was like what d Bleep?you can't fly alone or what

This is why when you meet guys abroad who are suppose to be matured still acting like a baby.

A lot of them in Europe.

Pls summarize my eyes are inching me

Bitter truth..At 20, pupsy and mumsy still want to control your life. No freedom to explore and take risks..Good and bad at the same time tho!

very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out...

jazzy4naija:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (Please read to the end)

Friends,

Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in
the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered
about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did
holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children
of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless
how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually
all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of
us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on
the Biography Channel and, to my amazement; he said that his young
children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and
his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in
Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from
Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the
UK . No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached
to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And
the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for
her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation
carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton the lass
married to Prince William drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there's one core difference in them and us (generally speaking).
They - the billionaires among them work for their money, we steal
ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been
praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's
begin now and teach them to work hard so that they can stand alone and
most importantly be content, and not have to "steal". This seems to be
the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the
world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted
mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .

At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches
of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last
time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter
except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent
minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets
a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into
becoming fully fledged adults.

I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK
economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I
beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained
Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10
years in Nigeria . I have a broad range of experience from recruiting
graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In
addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively
privileged upbringing.

Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred
from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could
concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to
live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back
home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their
children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings
that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London -
indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3
bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial
help from my parents!

For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough
for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's.
Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5
minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business
class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret
underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving"
parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago
and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So
where exactly this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one
making this call dad/mum?

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances
are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the
nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put
your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old
who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but
"earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely
nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely
no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's
secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and
call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent
conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary
are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I
ask if that is per month or per annum.

Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning
that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is
N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more
than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is
in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is
at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being
"breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples
I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar
patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake
up dad! You practically love your children to death! No wonder
corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who
have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a
birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over
20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even
consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to
think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them
to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman,
what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are
today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not
exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults
complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this Christmas",
ask him/her how old are you? 30 years +. Because of the challenges we
faced in our youth, we are where and what we are today. This
syndrome-my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our
tomorrow.

Deliberately, reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday
till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the
stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with
security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of
the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack
them and off they go, what a life! No one wants to marry them. Anyone
who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who
keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your
mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill; everything in
Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook
our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the
season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your
ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retires, will you fly ae
plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria ? People
now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article
without bomb blast! Which way Nigerians?

True take but try do summary.

nikkygal:
Nice one! I'm fully in sync with this article, too much over parenting these days in Nigeria. No child can fully develop without taking risks, making mistakes or starting small. Let's encourage our kids to 'fail forward' and not be too timid to explore opportunities without the parents support. It's the only way you can have a fully rounded child equipped with all the necessary tools of a leader.

However, this article was not written by the OP. Please post your source, as I can remember i've read this story here on NL over 3years ago. Please don't take credit for another person's work.

** Let me check the NL archives, if I can still find the original article**

did d guy tell u he ws takin credit...if u chek d post self u wil c dt it is pure copy n paste so wts d biggie?.....u sabi spoil market sha o

AnonymX:
Please I want to book space, how do I go about it?

I'm new.

Mumu!

When you don see say them dey book space

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

stale! that is not the issue on ground . you guys just go around turning everything to politics

wow! I love this! Well stated. More grease to your elbow @ op.

op, u get job 4 me?

JayJustus:
very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out...

I know your type.

Yahoo yahoo boys.

You don go get one old white woman were dey feed you

ok

JayJustus:
very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out...

I love you. no I don't need to see what you look like... your words are full of wisdom...I did.same for my dad and he was so happy.

it should be letter to rich Nigerian parents

I like the idea of working in college but as an engineering student with very little time, working can really affect my academics

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

Please stop exhibiting ignorance. Do you know the provisions of the constition?
Do you know the effect of S. 318 on S. 131( d) of the constitution?

That guy is over qualified abegi

Ubiero:
You couldn't have said it any better

30 is the new 18...

One of the complications to life as u so succintly put it is really the economic situation in Nigeria, family life and pressure from friends.
Also, parents fear of letting their kids suffer because of their own past experiences.

The op no ask why many people dey join Boko nowadays,

Or dey arm robber people,

No job for naija.

jazzy4naija:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (Please read to the end)

Friends,

"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the
world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted
mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .

At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches
of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last
time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter
except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent
minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets
a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into
becoming fully fledged adults.

You had me until the above began. Like you i have experienced the world, and what i have concluded is children in the west grow up too soon and too early. You have to understand that the main reason they leave home is not really about independence but about economy. America's economy for instance is built on the auto industry, the insurance industry and the military. Almost everyone soon as they are 18 will have a car. What comes next is insurance. You have to buy insurance to drive, least you get into trouble. So, think about it, as an economist, what would you rather have, have people buying cars and insurance at 18 or 30? And for those who don't understand; you pay for insurance for as long as you own a car, which is basically, forever. That's a lot of money for the country. So, the society is engineered in such a way that forces children out as early as possible, not for their own good, but for the good of the economy. There are things we take for granted, e.g family. Family does not mean a lot in the western world, which is one advantage we have over them. Countries like America know this which is why medicare is so important. It exist to take care of old people who have worked their entire lives. Children hardly take care of their folks over here. Another problem moving out so early is that our brains aren't completely matured. You may think so, but it's not. Come and see the dumb stuff 18 year olds do here and you will be amazed. Why do you thing we are having so many single parents now? so much freedom not enough restraint and accountability. I like the fact that 30 is the new 18, because believe it or not you are as old as you think. I am in my early "wink" but people think i am mid/late 20's. Same with my wife. For African's, life does not start until our late 20's and early 30's and i like it that way.

kudos@op. thats why all dis world richest actually zed when they die they gonna will what they have to charity n not their wards; They av trained them to survive on their own.
Your Money doesn't Make you stand ahead in your life, what matters is your knowledge. "The single most powerful asset we all have is our mind.If it is trained well,it can create enormous wealth"-R.kiyosaki

soo true,thanks @op

So true.........it's only in Nigeria you see a man/woman of 35years old and you attribute being young to them.....

Can somebody plz summarize dis.

freecocoa:
Well, this is obviously for people wey their papa get money.

Abi don't you see the kids hustling on the streets ni?

I wonder o.
This is a one sided article.

THIS IS A WONDERFUL TOPIC!!!!

Parents!parents!!parents!!!
Theres a difference between loving and spoiling!

Bollinger:
You had me until the above began. Like you i have experienced the world, and what i have concluded is children in the west grow up too soon and too early. You have to understand that the main reason they leave home is not really about independence but about economy. America's economy for instance is built on the auto industry, the insurance industry and the military. Almost everyonem soon as they are 18 will have a car. What comes next is insurance. You have to buy insurance to drive, least you get into trouble. So, think about it, as an economist, what would you rather have, have people buying cars and insurance at 18 or 30? And for those who don't understand; you pay for insurance for as long as you own a car, which is basically, forever. That's a lot of money for the country. So, the society is engineered in such a way that forces children out as early as possible, not for their own good, but for the good of the economy. There are things we take for granted, e.g family. Family does not mean a lot in the western world, which is one advantage we have over them. Countries like America know this which is why medicare is so important. It exist to take care of old people who have worked their entire lives. Children hardly take care of their folks over here. Another problem moving out so early is that our brains aren't completely matured. You may think so, but it's not. Come and see the dumb stuff 18 year olds do here and you will be amazed. Why do you thing we are having so many single parents now? so much freedom not enough restraint and accountability. I like the fact that 30 is the new 18, because believe it or not you are as old as you think. I am in my early "wink" but people think i am mid/late 20's. Same with my wife. For African's, life does not start until our late 20's and early 30's and i like it that way.

A very good counter statement.
That's is why drug is much consume in the western country than Africa.

Because of the over free life which is not culture well.
Believe me, there are a lot of crime which is being committed over there than in Africa

.

You making sense brother.

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

brother, the military found it when Jonathan lost.

hmmm havent seen my parents in months havent heard from them in a long while.am born and breed ajekpako havent seen much of this priviledged babies.damn time for me to change environment. In here its completely different almost opposite.
But i go hama on day
Buh wetin concern till i born pikin.
Meanwhile other parents be like...