Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by njuwo(m): 5:40pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Chai, God punish devil, see wetin op wan suffer me read before. Thank God say i escape by stopping half way as i just realised what he was driving at. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Ubiero(f): 5:41pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
You couldn't have said it any better
30 is the new 18...
One of the complications to life as u so succintly put it is really the economic situation in Nigeria, family life and pressure from friends. Also, parents fear of letting their kids suffer because of their own past experiences. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Godson201333(m): 5:41pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
I can never forget the day I travelled to Ghana .I was on flight with one guy with his mom,after arrival,The mom said"my son please face your studies and be a good boy"she turned back and was about boarding another flight to naija..the dude should be around 28 and I was like what d Bleep?you can't fly alone or what This is why when you meet guys abroad who are suppose to be matured still acting like a baby. A lot of them in Europe. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by vacant06(m): 5:41pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Pls summarize my eyes are inching me |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by mujiboy(m): 5:42pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Bitter truth..At 20, pupsy and mumsy still want to control your life. No freedom to explore and take risks..Good and bad at the same time tho! 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by JayJustus(m): 5:43pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out... 2 Likes |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:44pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
jazzy4naija: LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (Please read to the end)
Friends,
Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.
I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement; he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK . No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.
These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton the lass married to Prince William drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there's one core difference in them and us (generally speaking). They - the billionaires among them work for their money, we steal ours!
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so that they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not have to "steal". This seems to be the norm these days.
"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .
At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.
At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.
I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria . I have a broad range of experience from recruiting graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively privileged upbringing.
Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!
Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London - indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!
For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's. Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving" parents.
I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So where exactly this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?
I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing. I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.
Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our national malaise.
We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You practically love your children to death! No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.
I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed without your "help".
Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this Christmas", ask him/her how old are you? 30 years +. Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are where and what we are today. This syndrome-my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our tomorrow.
Deliberately, reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.
I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go, what a life! No one wants to marry them. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill; everything in Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your ward fare?
If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retires, will you fly ae plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria ? People now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article without bomb blast! Which way Nigerians? True take but try do summary. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by pawesome(m): 5:46pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
nikkygal: Nice one! I'm fully in sync with this article, too much over parenting these days in Nigeria. No child can fully develop without taking risks, making mistakes or starting small. Let's encourage our kids to 'fail forward' and not be too timid to explore opportunities without the parents support. It's the only way you can have a fully rounded child equipped with all the necessary tools of a leader.
However, this article was not written by the OP. Please post your source, as I can remember i've read this story here on NL over 3years ago. Please don't take credit for another person's work.
** Let me check the NL archives, if I can still find the original article**
did d guy tell u he ws takin credit...if u chek d post self u wil c dt it is pure copy n paste so wts d biggie?.....u sabi spoil market sha o |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:47pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
AnonymX: Please I want to book space, how do I go about it?
I'm new. Mumu! When you don see say them dey book space 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by ohaleoghene(f): 5:47pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Ezedon: I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate stale! that is not the issue on ground . you guys just go around turning everything to politics 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Anonymrs(f): 5:48pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
wow! I love this! Well stated. More grease to your elbow @ op. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Sezua(m): 5:48pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
op, u get job 4 me? 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:49pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
JayJustus: very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out... I know your type. Yahoo yahoo boys. You don go get one old white woman were dey feed you 3 Likes |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by tylesh(f): 5:49pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
ok |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by ohaleoghene(f): 5:50pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
JayJustus: very well said...studying outside too and having to do things on my own surprised my parents...I left home when I was 16½ and I spent one year without working came back home with some cash, alotta stuff for him and my mum and my dad was like how did I get so much...looked him in the eye and told him "you don't eat tomorrows yam today"...not boasting but proud of myself...I don't work but saving culture helped me.. rather than buying latest iPhone I stick with Xiaomi...lol...na for Whatsapp only ehhh...best thing is not to join the crowd to do what the crowd is doing cos at the end of the day you'd stand out... I love you. no I don't need to see what you look like... your words are full of wisdom...I did.same for my dad and he was so happy. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by An2elect2(f): 5:51pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
it should be letter to rich Nigerian parents 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:51pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
THESE ARE THE TYPE OF INSTRUCTIVE AND TIMELY PIECE THAT SHOULD GRACE THE FRONT PAGE.
NIGERIAN YOUTHS SHOULD RE-ORIENTATE THEMSELVES AND START LEAVING IN THE WORLD OF REALITIES- NOW IS THE TIME. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Owoloku1: 5:52pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
I like the idea of working in college but as an engineering student with very little time, working can really affect my academics 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by SpeedyConnect(m): 5:53pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Ezedon: I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate Please stop exhibiting ignorance. Do you know the provisions of the constition? Do you know the effect of S. 318 on S. 131( d) of the constitution? That guy is over qualified abegi 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:55pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Ubiero: You couldn't have said it any better
30 is the new 18...
One of the complications to life as u so succintly put it is really the economic situation in Nigeria, family life and pressure from friends. Also, parents fear of letting their kids suffer because of their own past experiences. The op no ask why many people dey join Boko nowadays, Or dey arm robber people, No job for naija. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Bollinger(m): 5:55pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
jazzy4naija: LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (Please read to the end)
Friends,
"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .
At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.
At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming fully fledged adults.
You had me until the above began. Like you i have experienced the world, and what i have concluded is children in the west grow up too soon and too early. You have to understand that the main reason they leave home is not really about independence but about economy. America's economy for instance is built on the auto industry, the insurance industry and the military. Almost everyone soon as they are 18 will have a car. What comes next is insurance. You have to buy insurance to drive, least you get into trouble. So, think about it, as an economist, what would you rather have, have people buying cars and insurance at 18 or 30? And for those who don't understand; you pay for insurance for as long as you own a car, which is basically, forever. That's a lot of money for the country. So, the society is engineered in such a way that forces children out as early as possible, not for their own good, but for the good of the economy. There are things we take for granted, e.g family. Family does not mean a lot in the western world, which is one advantage we have over them. Countries like America know this which is why medicare is so important. It exist to take care of old people who have worked their entire lives. Children hardly take care of their folks over here. Another problem moving out so early is that our brains aren't completely matured. You may think so, but it's not. Come and see the dumb stuff 18 year olds do here and you will be amazed. Why do you thing we are having so many single parents now? so much freedom not enough restraint and accountability. I like the fact that 30 is the new 18, because believe it or not you are as old as you think. I am in my early "wink" but people think i am mid/late 20's. Same with my wife. For African's, life does not start until our late 20's and early 30's and i like it that way. 3 Likes |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by prinzeepule(m): 5:56pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
kudos@op. thats why all dis world richest actually zed when they die they gonna will what they have to charity n not their wards; They av trained them to survive on their own. Your Money doesn't Make you stand ahead in your life, what matters is your knowledge. "The single most powerful asset we all have is our mind.If it is trained well,it can create enormous wealth"-R.kiyosaki |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by ijecks(f): 5:57pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
soo true,thanks @op |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 5:57pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
So true.........it's only in Nigeria you see a man/woman of 35years old and you attribute being young to them..... |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by willexyaho(m): 6:00pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Can somebody plz summarize dis. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 6:03pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
freecocoa: Well, this is obviously for people wey their papa get money.
Abi don't you see the kids hustling on the streets ni? I wonder o. This is a one sided article. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by mystiqueDZ(f): 6:04pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
THIS IS A WONDERFUL TOPIC!!!!
Parents!parents!!parents!!! Theres a difference between loving and spoiling! |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Nobody: 6:04pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Bollinger:
You had me until the above began. Like you i have experienced the world, and what i have concluded is children in the west grow up too soon and too early. You have to understand that the main reason they leave home is not really about independence but about economy. America's economy for instance is built on the auto industry, the insurance industry and the military. Almost everyonem soon as they are 18 will have a car. What comes next is insurance. You have to buy insurance to drive, least you get into trouble. So, think about it, as an economist, what would you rather have, have people buying cars and insurance at 18 or 30? And for those who don't understand; you pay for insurance for as long as you own a car, which is basically, forever. That's a lot of money for the country. So, the society is engineered in such a way that forces children out as early as possible, not for their own good, but for the good of the economy. There are things we take for granted, e.g family. Family does not mean a lot in the western world, which is one advantage we have over them. Countries like America know this which is why medicare is so important. It exist to take care of old people who have worked their entire lives. Children hardly take care of their folks over here. Another problem moving out so early is that our brains aren't completely matured. You may think so, but it's not. Come and see the dumb stuff 18 year olds do here and you will be amazed. Why do you thing we are having so many single parents now? so much freedom not enough restraint and accountability. I like the fact that 30 is the new 18, because believe it or not you are as old as you think. I am in my early "wink" but people think i am mid/late 20's. Same with my wife. For African's, life does not start until our late 20's and early 30's and i like it that way. A very good counter statement. That's is why drug is much consume in the western country than Africa. Because of the over free life which is not culture well. Believe me, there are a lot of crime which is being committed over there than in Africa 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by raayah(f): 6:05pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
. 1 Like |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by AIZubair(m): 6:05pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
You making sense brother. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by gabriplane(m): 6:06pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
Ezedon: I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate brother, the military found it when Jonathan lost. |
Re: Letter To Nigerian Parents by Heliesha: 6:09pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
hmmm havent seen my parents in months havent heard from them in a long while.am born and breed ajekpako havent seen much of this priviledged babies.damn time for me to change environment. In here its completely different almost opposite. But i go hama on day Buh wetin concern till i born pikin. Meanwhile other parents be like... |