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My Terrible Experience In A Church Today - Religion (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by holatin(m): 6:04pm On Apr 19, 2015
deletrue:
Useless pastors. He is the same with Pastor Bakare. Useless deceivers. One day na one day. All these fraud star pastors will fall and will not raise.
you called bakare a fraud not because you Ve ant evidence against him but because you know he is a fans of buhari.
so much bile in your heart

3 Likes

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Onyi4live(m): 6:06pm On Apr 19, 2015
Task force church hahaha grin

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Nobody: 6:07pm On Apr 19, 2015
If this story is true, I don't find it funny at all. undecided
I can't imagine someone having the guts to go through my purse angry
I can't even imagine respecting a foolish pastor! I HAVE NEVER HAD REGARDS FOR MAJORITY OF THEM ANY WAY! undecided

Just very few MOG I respect.Majority of them are hypocrites including their addict members undecided.

2 Likes

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by OKUCHI11(m): 6:09pm On Apr 19, 2015
very funnnnnnny
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ignis: 6:10pm On Apr 19, 2015
Is this a reality or a fiction?
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Lovexme(m): 6:12pm On Apr 19, 2015
This your narrative would do well in a comedy movie scene.

So, they've started searching like police at check points too?

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by lexaydfg(m): 6:13pm On Apr 19, 2015
Idonblivdsshit....
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Debiks: 6:14pm On Apr 19, 2015
My friend remained where he was to avoid being
seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church.

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by jamace(m): 6:16pm On Apr 19, 2015
Bible believing church has turned into money believing church. grin grin

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Nobody: 6:16pm On Apr 19, 2015
Cheap popularity...this is nothing but a huge big fat lie
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by blaze2cool(m): 6:18pm On Apr 19, 2015
Hello guys My name is JOHNNY BLAZE a.k.a baddest,
I am an upcoming artist still working very hard trying to make gud songs,
below are couple of my song please download and share ur comments meanwhile
i will be very happy for a good record deal/sponsorship if you can help
if you like my SONGS kindly call this number 08069585397.



Songs

AFEFE by Johnnyblaze
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/467b836a

IDI SAMBA by Johnnyblaze ft Frankie Free
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/d22461cf

EKAITE YANSH by Johnnyblaze
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/527e3fc5

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by joshrare(m): 6:18pm On Apr 19, 2015
And people still attend the church
Sml for them all...

Thank God say nor be person like me wey dey in hurry to cut chain...

Well @op, bravo to u

U didn't give in
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by franklin000(m): 6:20pm On Apr 19, 2015
this is just funny
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by stagger: 6:20pm On Apr 19, 2015
Anyone trying to search me in that instance will end up in hospital with a broken nose. I can guarantee you that.

Operating search wetin? Nonsense. These are the people bringing Christianity into such disrepute it makes the work of the genuine ones very hard indeed.

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by phillipe: 6:21pm On Apr 19, 2015
Lol @ orubebe

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by emperordan(m): 6:23pm On Apr 19, 2015
Lmao!!!
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Awoofawo(m): 6:27pm On Apr 19, 2015
Another scheme favoured by some pastors is asking women and men to drop their tithe and contribution in seperate box, the money in each box is then count.

If there is less money in either one of box, the pastor will playfully and jokely shame the gender assigned that box...... You should guess the rest..... Turning offering to competition between the two gender
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Agalasis(m): 6:29pm On Apr 19, 2015
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.

When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.

The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.

Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.

What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying

"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".

After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.

The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice

"What do you think you want to do??"

He replied me

"You heard what the pastor said brother".

I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said

"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"

and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with

"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".

He was shocked. grin

One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.

My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher

"Please don't even try to follow me". angry angry

He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home.

lol
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by blaizze(f): 6:34pm On Apr 19, 2015
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.

When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.

The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.

Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.

What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying

"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".

After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.

The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice

"What do you think you want to do??"

He replied me

"You heard what the pastor said brother".

I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said

"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"

and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with

"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".

He was shocked. grin

One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.

My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher

"Please don't even try to follow me". angry angry

He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home.
bekwarra, are u from bekwarra?
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ecoliattack(m): 6:36pm On Apr 19, 2015
Lol
I love that "dracula eyes"
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by xtervaganza(m): 6:37pm On Apr 19, 2015
Religion has always been a fraud



I'm not surprised
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Rexnegro(m): 6:37pm On Apr 19, 2015
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.

When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.

The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.

Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.

What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying

"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".

After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.

The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice

"What do you think you want to do??"

He replied me

"You heard what the pastor said brother".

I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said

"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"

and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with

"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".

He was shocked. grin

One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.

My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher

"Please don't even try to follow me". angry angry

He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home.
U politely orubebed the church service...nice bro u did urs with sense unlike d real orubebe
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by MrIyke222(m): 6:37pm On Apr 19, 2015
Dis 1 na srious church biznes oh.... wat!!! omoh na obtainin b dat oh nd any obtainin sagas na stealing oh... abi d pastor na former street ‘obtainer’? na wa oh... may God help us nd all dis fake pstors wey full evrywr.

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by dytbabe: 6:38pm On Apr 19, 2015
Coughing
Tears in my eyes
cheesy cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by charmingeyes(m): 6:41pm On Apr 19, 2015
irunoobo:
undecided


Deeeekk is sweet in the pool

Ur eyes, ur lips, ur boobs... Hmmm!
U deeeek?
No wonder u love 69. wink
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by litaninja(m): 6:42pm On Apr 19, 2015
Are you sure you went to a church or a police check a point?

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Miner13: 6:42pm On Apr 19, 2015
solobenzo:
so wat am i suppose to do

Huge transfer so you can move like fast and furious actor to baba God and report the issue grin grin
Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Godsonbalo(m): 6:42pm On Apr 19, 2015
Cant stop laughing grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin[color=#000099][/color]

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ifyan(m): 6:45pm On Apr 19, 2015
Abeg any vacancy for treasurer, well abled young man. My CV is already prepared.

Abeg make una no spoil market for me.

Kai! My people.

You know. ......

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by MrsAnyanwu(f): 6:45pm On Apr 19, 2015
Hahhhhhahhhaaa, I cried laffing, which kain story be this biko kwanu, hahhhhhahhhaaa, op u too funny , I swear ......

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Sike(m): 6:47pm On Apr 19, 2015
Lmaooo. That Orubebe part nearly kill me with laughter.

1 Like

Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by betrani(m): 6:47pm On Apr 19, 2015
blaze2cool:
Hello guys My name is JOHNNY BLAZE a.k.a baddest,
I am an upcoming artist still working very hard trying to make gud songs,
below are couple of my song please download and share ur comments meanwhile
i will be very happy for a good record deal/sponsorship if you can help
if you like my SONGS kindly call this number 08069585397.



Songs

AFEFE by Johnnyblaze err
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/467b836a

IDI SAMBA by Johnnyblaze ft Frankie Free
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/d22461cf

EKAITE YANSH by Johnnyblaze
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/527e3fc5
I must say you have got good beatz but u need to make your songs much inclusive! Like your have everyone as part of your music! You sound much much alone! Much seriousness and power to your voice! Afefe needs more than low key! It should be a party song! But I don't feel the party in it! I just feel some guy singing "RnB" on party beats! Raise the tempo a bit! For party songz

1 Like

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