advice please. . my 16 years old brother in law that am living with no longer greet me in the morning but will come to ask me for money for breakfast...... he no longer regard me at all as he use to ........he have decided to do anything he wants even after telling him that it will not benefit him anything. ....what should I do ? should I overlook him or what

Dont give him anything until he learns to respect you.

Ask him reasons not here or let ur husband know about it. I don't know which man will allow his wife to be disrespected and not do anything about it

purityannabel:
advice please. . my 16 years old brother in law that am living with no longer greet me in the morning but will come to ask me for money for breakfast...... he no longer regard me at all as he use to ........he have decided to do anything he wants even after telling him that it will not benefit him anything. ....what should I do ? should I overlook him or what

You could be his mother
You should be able to ask him what his problem is
We are talking about a 16 year old boy here not a grown man

Talk to your husband about it..then he should speak with his little brother. If you approach him again he may feel you really need him in your life. So give him that space till your husband corrects his attitude.

If you husband fails too..then that's a problem.

First report him to your husband, and if at the end you do not see changes in him then demand for him to leave. You are a woman, if you wants him to leave you know the treatment to give him.

OP. Talk true, what happened? Find out what suddenly brought about this behaviour.

@jashar I didn't have any problem with him he started misbehaving when he entered JSS3 now SS1......it became worst.......

Teenagers stage,Not all teenagers will be rude or disrespectful, but acting like this is a normal part of teenage growth and development. That boy is learning to express and test out his own independent ideas.

You are the adult here ,moreover it is your house.You need to set rules and consequences.
I hope your husband is aware of this unpleasant development.

Another adult you know and trust, such as an aunt, uncle or family friend, might be able to support him through this period. Involving someone like this can be a great way to ease the tension between you and him.One more thing don't nag him,he will turn out to be worst.

Tell your hubby first.....if he does not fix it,the same way he does not acknowledge you,do not acknowledge him!

focus7:
First report him to your husband, and if at the end you do not see changes in him then demand for him to leave. You are a woman, if you wants him to leave you know the treatment to give him.

Demand? Really?

Is the 16 year old a piece of furniture to be thrown out at will?

@op, you act and sound as though you were never a teenager yourself! Were you all sweetness and light at that stage of your life? Like seriously?

Pls cut the boy some slack and try to be a bit more understanding yourself. He is afterall still a child and going through a phase, in need of guidance. Help him get through it, and start by LISTENING to him, instead of shunning him.

Gra-gra-ism never solves anything. You're the adult here, so act like one. Pls.

purityannabel:
advice please. . my 16 years old brother in law that am living with no longer greet me in the morning but will come to ask me for money for breakfast...... he no longer regard me at all as he use to ........he have decided to do anything he wants even after telling him that it will not benefit him anything. ....what should I do ? should I overlook him or what

Try prayer it works like magic. Mine was in the university. He respects me more than his mother now.

Bear in mind that the boy in question is at a phase in life where he's very rebellious and believes adults are evil with a sole purpose to pick on them. You have to be very patient so as you don't cause irreparable damage to your relationship with him and to the family in general. Scold him when necessary and remind him that you were once his age and his rebellion won't gain him anything. Involve your husband to talk some sense into him also. Don't listen to those that advise you to frustrate him till he goes o, It could backfire.

Wonder y some pple fail to face reality @ times,a 16yr old boy staying with me will be keeping malice with me? No way,my 18yr old bother dat stays with me can not even try dat trash with me, when he knws i'll deal with him rudelessly,as tall as he's I give him a dirty slap wen he misbehave,@ op na ur broda inlaw o,u can't beat him just talk to ur hubby about it and let him deal with dat

I guess he's at that strange period in his life where he feels like a man but is in actuality stlll a child.
Lead by example. Greet him first to teach him manners. Joke with him and always try to chat with him. This is to show him life is not about fights and proving things. It doesn't make you stupid but as he grows older, he will realise his folly. At this stage, being harsh with him will only drive him further away.

eyinjuege:
I guess he's at that strange period in his life where he feels like a man but is in actuality stlll a child.
Lead by example. Greet him first to teach him manners. Joke with him and always try to chat with him. This is to show him life is not about fights and proving things. It doesn't make you stupid but as he grows older, he will realise his folly. At this stage, being harsh with him will only drive him further away.

Lovely, lovely, advice. Can't fault a single sentence here.

Are you serious EfemenaXY? So it's ok to be disrespected IN YOUR HOUSE and say he's just a teen.ok e get age category wey suppose to show courtesy abi?


Basic manners demand that you greet whoever you're living with in the house whenever you wake up.
Tony gaskins said and I quote "never allow someone get comfortable disrespecting you".The height of it is that he even has the effrontery to ask for money from someone he disrespect.





If that is the case I can come and spend weekend in your house and not greet you .sit down in the sitting room, put leg for centre table and,be chewing gum and when I see you I say heysss EfemenaXY give me 10,000naira I want to go and have fun with my friends. Abi?

EfemenaXY:


Demand? Really?

Is the 16 year old a piece of furniture to be thrown out at will?

@op, you act and sound as though you were never a teenager yourself! Were you all sweetness and light at that stage of your life? Like seriously?

Pls cut the boy some slack and try to be a bit more understanding yourself. He is afterall still a child and going through a phase, in need of guidance. Help him get through it, and start by LISTENING to him, instead of shunning him.

Gra-gra-ism never solves anything. You're the adult here, so act like one. Pls.

EfemenaXY:


Lovely, lovely, advice. Can't fault a single sentence here.

ok so when you were a teen you were allowed to disrespect anybody you feel like just because you feel you are a "woman"



Reminds me of a young girl. She should be like 12, 13.i was just coming out of the super market and she was about entering but because she lacked patience and had this care free attitude she almost ran into me to push me because she wanted to pass and so I grabbed her two arms and dragged her out and told her to learn some manners .of which when I grabbed her arms it felt very fragile like bread wey soak inside water.

eventually she said sorry ma but bottom line is stop encouraging children to be rude and say they're just teens. Na so bad character dey enter person body and follow them grow. Teens are still in their formative ages you need to emphasize respect. That's why you see children beating up their parents. No be recently I read that a 19 year old boy beat up his mother because when he came home the mother hadn't yet prepared his food

eyinjuege:
I guess he's at that strange period in his life where he feels like a man but is in actuality stlll a child.
Lead by example. Greet him first to teach him manners. Joke with him and always try to chat with him. This is to show him life is not about fights and proving things. It doesn't make you stupid but as he grows older, he will realise his folly. At this stage, being harsh with him will only drive him further away.

It is not a question of being harsh. Even the Bible says foolishness abideth in the heart of a child but therod of ccorrection will set his path straight. By rod of correction i don't mean cane It's figurative. More like guiding him along life's paths



no wonder anywhere you go you see uncontrollable and wild children. Even their parents cannot control them

Babymama1:


You could be his mother
You should be able to ask him what his problem is
We are talking about a 16 year old boy here not a grown man

16 year old nor dey get irekshon abi 16 year old nor dey fk or impregnate persin



call the boy to order .let him know the rules of the house. What you will accept and what you will not accept. If he's not cool with it he should go and if he doesn't want to go frustrate and provoke him to the extent that he will leave on his own

focus7:
First report him to your husband, and if at the end you do not see changes in him then demand for him to leave. You are a woman, if you wants him to leave you know the treatment to give him.

Gbam! That's all

ok the woman is still bearing her father's name in the man's house and the bride price hasn't been paid . in that case the man can cheerfully have sex with his younger brother if she's that irrelevant there



I know you are joking anyway

Nonso23:


Which house??
Does she even know the price of cement talk less of sharp sand??
Until she builds her own house that boy has more rights than her there.
The money he is asking for is it not his brother's money. That woman should better know her place. She is a mere stranger in that family.
This is what happens when men marry bad wives

rights my foot. He has to respect himself otherwise to even drink water go hard am



abi na 24 hrs elder brother go dey house. When the elders say na women get the house you think say them dey joke. They determine who stays and who doesn't.if a woman doesn't want a particular person to stay in the house there are millions of ways she can drive him out . Anyway I know you just want to be funny and you got me there

Nonso23:

.
To bear the man's name is a privilege she should be grateful for or does she want to enter the single and searching market again

Thank God you have said the truth. Since the woman is just there for the sex she doesn't have any rights at all
After all concubines and runs girls don't have right in their clients' houses too.

I am very serious

Nonso23:


Which house??
Does she even know the price of cement talk less of sharp sand??
Until she builds her own house that boy has more rights than her there.
The money he is asking for is it not his brother's money. That woman should better know her place. She is a mere stranger in that family.
This is what happens when men marry bad wives

Are u for real?

Nonso23:


E be like say she want go back her papa house be that. Na to kick such a wicked woman troway first be the next step

I am not joking

story for sango


.

Nonso23:


and amadioha!!