BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) - Family - Nairaland
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| BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 4:23pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Life can feel like a big juggling act sometimes. With work, school, family, marriage, kids, our health, or perhaps all of the above, it’s easy for one or more areas of our life to get neglected. When it comes to marriage, maintaining a good balance is key to staying happy and healthy. You want to celebrate your individuality, but also nurture your identity as a spouse, also. If you feel like your marriage can use some more balance, and who doesn’t, keep reading for some sensible ways to achieve that ideal balance in your union. RESPECT ONE ANOTHER It might seem silly for me to suggest respecting your significant other, but it’s a very important part of being in a happy, balanced marriage. Showing respect means recognizing all that your spouse does such as working hard to provide for the family or taking care of your home. It also means supporting your spouse’s work and his/her interests. Even if you think some of his/her hobbies are silly, it can mean a lot to your spouse! 3 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 4:24pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
BALANCE YOUR TIME Balancing your time = balance in your marriage! Being married, or being in any committed relationship, doesn’t mean you totally lose yourself in the relationship and leave your former self behind. The two of you had fulfilling lives before your relationship, so don’t forget about it. Make time for your friends and family in addition to quality time with your spouse. Your family and friends offer support and fulfill needs that is totally different from your partner. SHARE EVERYTHING Sharing things within a marriage is a given. Whether it’s a place to live, bills, a TV, or a bank account, sharing is one of the perks and sometimes one of the disadvantages of being married. Don’t forget that it’s not just the tangibles that you’ll be sharing, but you’ll also have to start considering your partner’s opinions, needs, and desires in addition to your own. Be mindful when making decisions to include your spouse and take their feelings and thoughts into account. 2 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 4:25pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
HAVE FUN TOGETHER Having fun is vital to keeping things interesting in your marriage. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stuff and only talk to one another about bills, appointments, or teacher conferences, but there’s so much more to your relationship than that. You both have interesting personalities that drew you to one another, so don’t forget to have fun in your daily lives, Make an effort to be playful and enjoy one another’s company. CREATE BOUNDARIES How many times have you or your spouse brought your work home with you or got preoccupied with a project and your home time and work time just started blending together? Try not to let the stress and monotony of work, school, or whatever else you’re involved in ruin your time at home with your mate. Your house is supposed to be your sanctuary, don’t let your responsibilities get in the way of your relationship or quality of life! 3 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 4:26pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
SCHEDULE TIME FOR YOURSELF While it’s important to make time for your mate, friends, and family; don’t forget about yourself! No matter how much you like to be around other people, we can all use some alone time. Take time to go for a walk or run, enjoy a meal alone, get a massage, or take yourself shopping. Enjoy some me time by doing something you love. According to WebMD, indulging in some alone time has physical and mental health benefits so you're doing something good for yourself! KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE When life gets busy, romance is often the first thing to go out the door. Romance isn’t all about sex, either. Though sex is important to a relationship, keeping the romance alive is more about taking the time to show your partner you care. Leave love notes in unexpected places, plan special date nights, or plant a loooong kiss on your mate rather than a quick smooch on the cheek. It’s easy to get comfortable and forget about taking the extra time to get gussied up for your partner or give them extra hugs and kisses, but make it a priority and your mate will really appreciate it. 4 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 4:27pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES Does your partner leave his clothes all over the house? Or maybe she always leaves the dirty dishes for you to wash? Our mates can do things that really annoy us, but getting into an argument to prove your point or nitpicking about your partner’s bad habits is likely doing more harm than good. Choose your battles wisely. Sometimes it’s better to let the little things slide and take a look at the bigger picture. In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES It’s too easy for one person in the household to end up doing way more than their fair share of the household duties. In order to avoid unnecessary conflict and preserve both you and your spouse’s sanity, create a “contract” so that it’s clear who is responsible for what. If it doesn’t work out quite right the first time, revise it. Knowing what each of you is responsible for can save time and energy that can be used for more fun things! Achieving balance in a relationship takes work, but it’s far from impossible. Think of your marriage as being part of a team. Support, try to understand, and respect your spouse. Do you have any suggestions on achieving balance in marriage? Please share your tips! Source:Allwomenstalk.com 3 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by edwife(f): 4:42pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Nice one Ewuro  Nowadays,people expect much from marriage,that everything must be idealistic. A proverb says: A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple - because they can overlook each other's faults. As is also said: Love sees no faults. Stop expecting so much from your partner,he/she is also human-that's where tolerance comes in. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by RoyalRoy(m): 5:02pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Really nice and practical. Nothing beats a couple that work hard on their commitment levels to keep the fire burning!! 1 Like |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Onegai(f): 5:44pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Good one. I think scheduling time for each other is super-important. If you can't sit down and write down things you and your spouse have done together recently that doesn't include Going to Church or a Wedding or Some Function, yep, you're not spending time with that person. You could pick a weekend and go to a spa together (for example, Four Points Hotel offers couple packages sometimes, same as some other spas). In fact, there should be "Playtime Funds" included in your monthly budget. Encourage each other to develop hobbies (and not just joining some department in church or going out drinking with his friends). Actual hobbies. Sharing Responsibilities and chores is amazing. I'm yet to see any one complain about a husband that helps around the house and a man who cooks for his wife is absolutely sexy. Try not to bring your work home and don't come home and plop in front of your tv set or phone and say you're too tired to make conversation, traffic was too much and you just want peace. Your spouse also went through the same, why ignore that person (you certainly won't have that behaviour at work). 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Nobody: 5:54pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Marriage advisors here and there When it time for me to get married Am going to do both my marriage ceremony and marriage life the old fashion way,,,,everybody knows his/her duties simple.... 1 Like |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 6:25pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Edwife, you're so on point. unattainable expectation from an even more imperfect human is a recipe for disaster. Royalroy.. If only pigs can fly  . Simple and practical for some but hard to achieve for majority.Onegai, you succinctly nailed every point. Lol your last paragraph though, touché  .I planned to take hubby out on his birthday as this is our thing. So on that fateful afternoon after work, overwhelmed, I reluctantly laid out my dress and did my makeup and slumped in bed hoped to take a little snooze before he arrived. Omg I woke up around 10:30pm , he was already home and watching TV (moody coz he blew his friends and came home early to hang out before my planned dinner) I felt terribly awful. Girl, I rushed to nearby grocery store to buy&decorate a cake and cooked a local dish instead  . I took him forgranted, I could've set my alarm you know. Thank Gawd Subsequent years was almost perfect .2 Likes |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Onegai(f): 6:32pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Ewuro1: Ah, fret not, on hubby's birthday this year, the kind fight we had in the car eh on the way to pick up his birthday gift and the rest of the wahala that continued that evening. Poor man just endured his birthday. So the next day, I was on a mission: went out to pick some fresh flowers, grabbed all my tea lights and scented oils, bubble bath and a bottle of his favourite wine. And he got a great massage! And I was 6 months preggers o! At least you tried, you can decorate a cake, I can't even measure flour to bake. 4 Likes
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| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by edwife(f): 6:32pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Ewuro1: Lol you are a bad girl thank God he is understanding,you lucky.... |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 6:44pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
edwife: He is a great guy, he takes all my flaws. I'm lucky. I cooked amala and spicy ogbono soup with assorted meat, he cleaned his plate Onegai: Girl! Forget fight picking oh. Ermm As per the pic, That is soo romantic, he's a lucky man. Who's laughing now in tub sipping wine & a massage. thanks for the great idea. Here I am with a family jacuzzi & a soaker tub and no idea what to do with it. Now I know! |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Onegai(f): 6:50pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Ewuro1: sigh, enjoy your tub (ayam jealousing you right nau). I can't wait to move out of that house we're in (association of people can't build house well in Naija plenti). Add hot water and use a kitchen strainer to catch the flower petals when you're done, otherwise it becomes a pain to clean up after. |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 6:53pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Onegai, na Martha Stewart oh, that book has all the nitty gritty of baking. 2 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Ewuro1: 6:57pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Onegai: Abeg Tub na tub jor as long as it's a tub, I want to jump in that pic so bad Thanks for the tips. |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Moana(f): 6:57pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
I agree with OP especially with "keeping the romance alive" there is nothing as important as constantly reminding your spouse why you fell in love with him/her. 1 Like |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by RoyalRoy(m): 6:58pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Onegai: Babe!!!  That's a party after the party!!! Very nice. |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Nobody: 12:59pm On Jun 20, 2015 |
RoyalRoy: I know right Onegai I know this may sound stupid but when you set a bathtub like this for a massage, wouldn't you actually have a proper shower first before soaking yourself in the bath like this. ... |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Onegai(f): 3:34am On Jun 21, 2015 |
salsera: It's a bath, with bath salts and soap and loofahs and everything you don't need to take 2 baths. If it was a public bath (like at a spa), depending on your treatments, you could hit the steam room or be scrubbed off before entering the bath. HTH |
| Re: BALANCE In Marriage Is A Good Thing :) by Askseek(f): 5:39am On Jun 21, 2015 |
Commenting isn't really my alley but your advice is oh so right on the money. This sums up the most important things to know before you get married. Marriage is not all passion and kisses. There is so much more to it than sex, food and children. It is building a life and becoming one with your partner. Recognising your role, and respecting your partners role but nairaland scares me. The perception that many have with regard to marriage is appaling. Women have unrealistic expectations coupled with low self esteem. Many men have an overinflated ego and the combination is usually disastrous. Hopefully some will take this advice to heart. |
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