₦airaland Forum

Don't why the writer of this long epistle is taking the issue personal. This thing is simple. When you are are giving such an invitation simply say NO. Or is it because ur tired of accepting the IV that's y ur crying out

Cutehector:
now tell me why u won't get a good man in dis life wit all ur wisdom... Nice comment

Morning
Lol u no dey sleep

Girl you wanna come to my hotel, baby I will leave you my room key.
I'm feelin' the way you carry yourslf girl.
And I wanna get with you 'cuz you's a cutie.
So if you wanna come to my hotel, all you gotta do is holler at me.
'Cuz we're havingan after party, checkin' ut 6 in the mornin'

If that gal don't participate then imma take her friend.

coogar:
different strokes for different folks....

from my own personal experience, nigerian ladies actually prefer coming to the house than going out to eat somewhere. all those church girls who love doing things behind closed doors would never agree to go out on a date where they can be seen & gossiped about. they would rather chop & clean mouth.

true.. one Rooney Jersey for you

I have just 1question for you op.
is there anything real about ladies?
I mean you ladies of today.so you expect a decent man to come your way,when with just an update from people around you about a rich guy all you will want is to run and meet his parent that you are the wife to be. or what do you say about the oloshos? and the last time I checked during the days of our ancestors,they don't go to eatries and back then 'bitches' are still loyal.is it a must we meet at the eatry or go for movies?that not what our parents does then and yet they had fun and cherish the time they spent as didn

LadyBoss1:
Morning
Lol u no dey sleep

am always on my system.. Writing codes...

Am the kinda guy that'll always like to go on a date with a girl cuz we'll get to talk, know each other very well, but mehn I stopped that last month cuz u girls are as hungry as a dinosaur, I asked a girl out and to my greatest surprise this girl came with 2 of her friends, , the only thing I did was to discharge her.

Why dragging this case for long? Consider these
It's ECONOMICAL - Spend less, Its PRIVATE- You n I, No need to pay for bed if perhaps you will use it.

99% of gals dat agrees to "com to my huz" already agree to do d main tin...so "com to mi huz" simply means cm lets hav sex..if she agrees, fyn, if nt.....

Timbuktou:
Nigerian women are becoming sick jokes en masse. What exactly is the point of going on a date with a bunch of women who have decided to feast to their hearts' content at the expense of their male companion? What exactly is a date meant to achieve in the scheme of things? You want to go to an impressive restaurant to 'assess' whether the guy is good enough for your time, at his expense.
No, my brothers would rather cut to the chase and if you're not coming to his place, it's on to the next one. There's really not much sense in wooing today's Nigerian woman. It. Is. All. About. The. Money. We now live in an era of 'no romance without finance'. Why should I woo you when all you're after is the money? You can swerve if you want to eat at Barcelos.

Secondly, whether there's a date or you've been invited to his house at first invite, there's no good intentions. He wants to lay you. Stop acting like a trip to a posh restaurant will suddenly wipe out sexual fantasies about you. Or maybe you're saying it's only ok to have those sexual fantasies after you've been wined and dined?


In conclusion, the 'come to my house dynamic' is mostly a move to economise the expenditure of time and other resources considering the margin of success/lack of.

How do I get to send a bottle of Henessy to you for you've earned it? Well said.

April07:
Oh my God!
I'm sick sick sick and tired of hearing those words.

Imagine you meet someone for the first time and you guys get talking, you like them cos you think they're smart. You exchange phone numbers and you're chatting. Next thing "you don't want to come to my house" To do what!? Is there some kinda solution to global hunger in your house?
So annoying!

The second point..
I couldn't agree more.
Most guys behave so good that you carry your self and be going to 'their' house and you go and get raped and you can't do nothing about it.
I got to counsel some young ladies who fell victim of the above, the shame and guilt they carry around is enough to break any male!
This is the case for so many young ladies.

Men in the Nigerian society need serious orientation and sensitization.
'Come to my house' is not in the least bit romantic or endearing.
Its creepy and annoying

If olamide says come to my house would u refuse? #nuff said

Me think ladies should also carry their freinds when invited to a bobo's house just as they would when invited to a sit out...if you doubt his motives for inviting you to his house(thats if the girl in question isn't ready to be laid) get chaperons to escort you...

Chikena...


Because like someone said the bottom line is at some point if there aren't grounds for chastity by both parties the babe would definitely be laid even if they both see at jevinik for one year...

Oyinbo sef no dey do fancy first dates anymore. He too try it's 'come for a walk in the park', after that it's 'fukk bittch, come to my house!

angieberry:
Speaking of generalizing, you should direct that to the males commenting on this post.

don't worry about them. I will sort them out myself. Am certain d males u are talking about will c my comments and learn one or two things as it wasn't gender biased

As for me I won't invite any lady to my house until she earns it. But I don't blame other guys;you tru the stress of wooing a lady for like 2years,finally u get her but still sleeps with other homo sapiens(deviating tho) so wats the point.just iron the gator and move ahead.

chindi:
I gues u av SISTERS, AUNTS, NIECES etc who fall into the 99%... Rubbish.
Poor fellow, speaking vehemently out of too many rejections from ladies I guess...
.
.
Mind wat u say dude so it doesn't haunt u

u forgot to add mum,grand mum etc

angieberry:
From what I can deduce from the comments, most Nigerian men are douche bags, and of course a lot of them are broke ass negroes and are hiding under the excuse that Nigerian girls are too greedy to take out on proper dates. Lame much.

Nah don't generalize. As much as i could agree with the op I seriously think some girls also over do things. You invite a girl for a date and she shows up with two or three of her friends. It's totally uncalled for and insensitive in my opinion

Timbuktou:
Nigerian women are becoming sick jokes en masse. What exactly is the point of going on a date with a bunch of women who have decided to feast to their hearts' content at the expense of their male companion? What exactly is a date meant to achieve in the scheme of things? You want to go to an impressive restaurant to 'assess' whether the guy is good enough for your time, at his expense.
No, my brothers would rather cut to the chase and if you're not coming to his place, it's on to the next one. There's really not much sense in wooing today's Nigerian woman. It. Is. All. About. The. Money. We now live in an era of 'no romance without finance'. Why should I woo you when all you're after is the money? You can swerve if you want to eat at Barcelos.

Secondly, whether there's a date or you've been invited to his house at first invite, there's no good intentions. He wants to lay you. Stop acting like a trip to a posh restaurant will suddenly wipe out sexual fantasies about you. Or maybe you're saying it's only ok to have those sexual fantasies after you've been wined and dined?


In conclusion, the 'come to my house dynamic' is mostly a move to economise the expenditure of time and other resources considering the margin of success/lack of.

endorsed

swagloverss:
It was intended to be a simple PM on my BBM but the number of furious replies I got indicated that I had to expand my reach. The said PM was – “Naija men with come to my house, come to my house.” Is there seriously no young man who can advise his fellow men on dating etiquettes? Help us plssssss”

I sincerely felt that I was alone in this predicament till I started getting pings from people who were even more angry about it than I was. And then I realized that this is a general epidemic.

Now, I had different responses from people and I will attempt to put those responses into consideration and not be too streamlined with my views.

Most of the males who responded to my PM agreed with the fact that their brothers are not representing the male folks as well as they should in this area but one of the men made a case for our culture being the reason for this predicament.

According to him, Nigerians do not see the home as a private place and can invite just about anyone into their home. He also talked about the mentality that has been deeply ingrained in us – some men just don’t think that going on dates is necessary, or rather, “we can meet up at my house, there’s no need to go through all that white culture ish” (paraphrased)

As much as I understand where he was coming from and I agree with him that the Nigerian mentality has a lot to bear with this situation. I also think that there are two reasons why the “come to my house issue” is so rampant today.

(1) Some men just don’t think that it’s necessary to go through all that stress in wooing a lady anymore.

A friend of mine actually said that chivalry is dead in response to my PM but I am a positive person, so I refuse to believe that there is no single man on this earth who knows how to take a woman on a date and win her heart slowly – no, there must surely be such men left on earth. (yes, I am rooting for the male folks)

Some Nigerian men just believe that all that “taking a woman to a lovely restaurant and stuff” is for “oyibo people“. I mean, you will be surprised at the number of educated men who would invite you to their house at first meeting.

The man who inspired my PM is a lecturer. Another man who contributed to my cry for help studied law as a first degree. He is involved in media and publicity for a while, and is a called pastor… so you can go figure out the thing about education being a way to raise up people with a modern outlook on things.

(2) 80 % of the men who invite ladies to come to their house at first meeting have no good intentions at heart.

Now, I have to be very careful with how I say this, because I understand like my male friend stated above: that for some men, inviting a lady to their house at first meeting just doesn’t mean anything to them.

They weren’t raised with the mentality that the home is a private place. So even if they just met a lady they are interested in, they can hang out at their house as a first date – with no ulterior motive involved on their part. So yes, I agree that those kind of men exist.

We don’t need to go deep down into stories do we? Or maybe we do. Listen carefully and you will hear stories from the lady who has true stories to tell on how she had to fend off SERIOUS sexual advances just because she believed a man who said he had no ulterior motive for inviting her to his house.

Some of our female friends won’t open up to us but some ladies have been raped because of the “come to my house syndrome”. They cower in shame and guilt, berating their selves that they should have known better than to go to his house. And the society doesn’t make it easy on them too.

Most people would say things like – “Why did you go to his house? That’s a sign that you wanted the sexual act to happen” So the victims keep quiet and bottle up the hurt and shame inside.

What about the guy that tells you to just come into his house while he dresses up so you both can go out and then, under the guise of that excuse starts drawing close for a kiss?

So the “come to my house syndrome” is a serious one. Aside from the serious underlying issues of ladies who have had sad stories of sexual assault and rape to tell, it also begs for a total overhauling of the way some Nigerian men view wooing a lady – an overhauling of faulty dating mentalities.

If the woman was to be a street lady, we might pardon you, but no, you see a decent lady with her worth shining through and you just don’t want to put in an effort into treating her like the jewel that she is.

What would it take for you to take the natural order of the way things should be in cultivating a relationship with her?
Would a time out at a restaurant be too much to ask? It doesn’t even have to be a classy restaurant – just a neutral place where you both can talk that’s not your house.

So I plead again, don’t we have young mighty men of valor who can advise their fellow men on dating etiquettes? Men who can organize classes and teach their fellow men these things – if it comes to that.

Or maybe I should be pleading with our churches too. Almost every church organizes programmes for ladies on how to be virtuous women, how to behave themselves while on a date, etc. Can’t such programmes be held for men too? Women aren’t the only ones who need to be groomed, men need to be groomed too.

So gentlemen, I sincerely still believe that there are a lot of you who are getting it right in the area of what I just talked about.
Please teach your fellow men about these things, we will be absolutely grateful to you all.

Signed,
The community of ladies who are tired of the “come to my house syndrome”

SOURCE

My dear is not only men oooo.Babes invites me their house like say me non get house ooo.

I alway turn them down when am not sure what the outcome will be.

So is in both side.

Comments

Only few girls these days deserve chivalry. It's no more like before when girls preserve themselves and are special. Most girls now are no longer special

coogar:
this was why i said different strokes for different folks in my first comment - from my own experience, the ladies would rather cotch up with me at home - watch movies, watch football or play video games. they actually suggest coming to my place than taking them out on a date.........i guess some of them are trying to portray the good girl rather than the gold digging heifer.



i mean the only reason a man would be adamant to collect a girl's number is to take her to bed. sexual attraction comes first before he even summoned up the courage to say hi. any man who tells you differently is a bloody liar.

For me too its been d other way round,"i want to come to house"...i just do my best to avoid them,sometimes they just show @ my door with prior permission,am getting sick of 'em

angieberry:
"They weren’t raised with the mentality that the home is a private place. So even if they just met a lady they are interested in, they can hang out at their house as a first date – with no ulterior motive involved on their part."
Ebelebe! These men know what they are looking for! Any man that tells you to come to his house, especially if he is not a close relative, is simply suggesting activities that goes beyond eating , talking and watching movies and hanging out. And if the girl agrees, in the man's mind, she has agreed to take part in those activities.
How many men will not try to get fresh with a lady when they are alone in his house? Biko, let me hear word. They should just accept the fact, and no decent or sensible young lady will want to visit a man alone. Too risky!

I admire the "Berry", incorporated with your moniker. Howdy Pweetyface?

SMH for Naija guys.

SMH for Naija girls.

Lol. But am I not right? Didn't you read the comments? The same way you men generalized is the same way I generalized. You see, its not funny.

oshaosha2014:
Look at this broke, grown ass beautiful gal talking. So you can see your broke ass counterpart from reading these comments. In fact, you are a broken broke-tard ass niggress.

Timbuktou:
Nigerian women are becoming sick jokes en masse. What exactly is the point of going on a date with a bunch of women who have decided to feast to their hearts' content at the expense of their male companion? What exactly is a date meant to achieve in the scheme of things? You want to go to an impressive restaurant to 'assess' whether the guy is good enough for your time, at his expense.
No, my brothers would rather cut to the chase and if you're not coming to his place, it's on to the next one. There's really not much sense in wooing today's Nigerian woman. It. Is. All. About. The. Money. We now live in an era of 'no romance without finance'. Why should I woo you when all you're after is the money? You can swerve if you want to eat at Barcelos.

Secondly, whether there's a date or you've been invited to his house at first invite, there's no good intentions. He wants to lay you. Stop acting like a trip to a posh restaurant will suddenly wipe out sexual fantasies about you. Or maybe you're saying it's only ok to have those sexual fantasies after you've been wined and dined?


In conclusion, the 'come to my house dynamic' is mostly a move to economise the expenditure of time and other resources considering the margin of success/lack of.

I think i agree with this one.

This crap irritates me! Like dude I just met you and I should come to your house to do what? Play ludo?

What of the other men here doing the same thing? Generalizing ?

themejiwalker:
Nah don't generalize. As much as i could agree with the op I seriously think some girls also over do things. You invite a girl for a date and she shows up with two or three of her friends. It's totally uncalled for and insensitive in my opinion

angieberry:
Did you read the post at all or do you simply lack understanding skills? Where was anything about virginity mentioned in the post? And how many girls have you come into contact with to make you come to such an absurd conclusion? Please do not derail this post.

What ll happen to the good men who had good intentions for a lady but only invited her home to cut cost of going to an eatery.

Smh! Is this how low you think Nigerian girls are?

sauceTDA:
. Hey shutt up, he made a good point, and speak for yourself,in dis part of the world there is nothing like chivalry, girls this days are so hard to pity well most of them.. prostitutes everywhere.... I sooo wish not to have a girl as child.