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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage (4095 Views)
My Wife Always Tears My Boxers To Rape Me, Man Tells Court / Help! My Friend's Marriage Is About Crash. / A Wife Sent Her Hubby A Shocking Birthday Message After Beating Her Mercilessly (2) (3) (4)
Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Oduok(m): 1:02pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
I entered facebook yesternight and saw notification that it was my secondary school friend's birthday. I then loggedout, scroll my phone and saw the friend's number. We've not met for the past five years, we've not come in contact. The last I gathered was that she was married. Was not aware of the ceremony, was not invited and didn't attend. So I thought well that by now she will no longer have my phone number. So I draft a few line of message that went thus: "Happy Birthday - frm Engr. Id Oduok". I remembered quite well she used to be a Jehovah's Witness member . That they don't celebrate many things. But little did I know that it was an offense to even wish them well on any instance. This morning she called me. I recognized the voice but what I heard was: "Brother Joshua Akpan, good morning and how is your family..." I then told her it was me her schoolmate in secondary school. She recalled but was now wondering how she saved my number as Brother Joshua Akpan. That the husband had seen the message whose sender was Brother Joshua Akapn while the messaged beared Engr. Id Oduok. She later called again this afternoon that that message is causing a lot of trouble. That the husband has scattered her phone and that she is very angry with me for tearing her marriage. Please i'm feeling so guilty but i'm so very innocent. |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by abios22: 1:05pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
I don't know if this is suppose to be a joke! because it's quite funny. That marriage was already in the doom stage, they just needed to have an excuse for it to happen. Brother no be ur fault jare.. You had nothing to do, just providing the matches for them to burn it 11 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Sleekydee(m): 1:05pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
. |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by MzzTega(f): 1:11pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Just like that,you woke up mind devoid of trouble,Picked your Phone,went through your facebook,decided to wish someone a happy birthday and now your good deed has turned against you. Hmmmm. Just pray for her. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Tallesty1(m): 1:13pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
This relationship problem is new. We are still working on a solution, check again later 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Adaezeagu(f): 2:05pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Tallesty1:true talk This is new to nairaland |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Creamish(f): 2:21pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Tallesty1: Funny enuff, I had a similar experience. Back in 2002/03, A friend gave me his contact number when we were thru with school but forgot to mention that it was actually for his brother who is married (back then, most of us din't have cellphones na..na "c/o" we de do ). So I sent a general "Thanks for being a friend" text to all my friends who I had their numbers saved....next thing I know, im getting a text from this number telling me "Whoever you are, Thank you for ruining my marriage" I called back to inquire on the reason behind the response and hez like.."My wife dosn't believe i'm not cheating on her".. Told him I got the number from his bro, apologised & wished him well.. @OP...There is nuttn u can do about it. If the marriage was solid, there'd be nuttn to fight about. It was rocky already. Same way I feel about my friend's brother's marriage. It's not ur fault at all if your conscience is clear. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by thorpido(m): 2:31pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
It's not your fault.You sent an innocent message. They should resolve this issue.If they let it tear them apart,then they didn't have a solid footing in their marriage. 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by cococandy(f): 2:35pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
The husband has issues It's not your fault 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by freecocoa(f): 2:46pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
The marriage was shaky anyways, it's not your fault. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by 5minsmadness: 3:48pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
abios22:Qed End of discussion 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by naijathings(m): 5:00pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Oduok: Mehhhn... this is some serious GOBE. and it hurts more when all you wanted to do was to be nice. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 5:46pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Too much insecurity in marriages these days 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Ewuro4: 6:31pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Say what happened Insecurity abound in many homes. An old time mate suddenly unfriended me on Facebook in the middle of serious business discussion and next person I saw on my Twitter was him again apologize for his wife's action. Say whaattt??!!! Asking me for business proposal( otunboroje). Many innocent people get mugged and mudered by 'mysterious source'. God knows best but one has to be very smart. Eng. Oduok, you meant well and God sees your intention, send an apology note via same addy to her hubby and NEVER contact her ever again. Block & erase her contact from your phones. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by edwife(f): 8:09pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
They must have been through a similar problem like that before,this can't possibly destroy their marriage if there were not a crack already. Op no fault of yours,just send an apology to them. And please don't contact her again or any other woman you lost touch with for over 5 years...... 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 8:23pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
edwife: Word! On a serious note People are saying the marriage has cracks before but Eng's message was what finally broke the camels back . . Many marriages go through different ups and downs and we dont know what "down" they were going through at that point, one should really be careful what one does so as not to add petrol to an already burning fire. For example we dont know if this woman had cheated before and the man is just getting over it and trying to trust his wife and then suddenly engineers SMS comes in We dont know what they are going through at that point Hence we should respect other peoples marriages. One thing I have noticed is that My husband is very careful how he addresses and deals with married women so that there are no crossed lines or cause for misinterpretation especially as one doesnt know what issues thats going on behind closed doors in their marriage. You dont want to accidently end someone elses marriage. If they want to end it let them end it themselves and not use someone else as catalyst. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by edwife(f): 8:29pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
tearoses: I am telling you ,imagine someone calling me out of the blue after 5 or 7 years , what are we going to discuss? Meeting you by accident somewhere yes,i can decide to exchange contact or not. Like you said,people should learn to respect other people marriages. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Ewuro4: 8:36pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Tearoses & Edwife, I agree with you both I have oldies on FB that havent seen for over 10years but always exchange birthday wishes & comment on their timelines without any problem. I don't even know their marital status just like OP. So are you implying I should cut them lose like that? (we learn everyday) These aforementioned spouses in posters scenarios are just unsecured and have underlying issues in their marriages. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by tintingz(m): 8:42pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Op tell her to fast and pray, God will help her marriage. |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by edwife(f): 8:43pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Ewuro4: Facebook is different from a personal phone,it is an open page. She didn't even have his name saved on her phone,rather one Joshua.....she didn't even recognised him- now that a problem. Why didn't he send his wishes on her Facebook wall like everybody? why her personal phone? Of course they had underlying issues and i am pretty sure it has to do with the phone and a mysterious message. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 8:44pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Ewuro4: Sweet/H, facebook is a general free for all naw Some people have 4,999 friends on facebook In reality is that possible? I doubt it However in this instance the OP sent a personal Text message to a personal phone line. Now to me, that is crossing boundry's . . .He is not that close to her/him/the couple Plus he knew that she was married . . . . He admitted it himself. What I am saying is that he is not close enough to them for him to send personal messages. He doesnt know the status of their home at that point. There may be existing trust issues on ground. Its also bizzare that he has kept a number he doesnt call/message on his phone for 5 years Thats why I like Tayour . .every 5 mins she sends contact check messages. I dont anwer her o! if she likes she can delete me. I will just re add her |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Ewuro4: 9:08pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Tearoses... Gotcha , you're right text message seem too personal considering the 5years gap. So you'd prefer a Facebook chat? Begs the Q, what's the difference between text message, whatapp, bbm, FB (messager) etc ? But I can relate to that , A distant cousin continuously called me from Aussie # and I kept dismissing the calls coz I thought it was some random marketing stunt (you know USA & their cheap labour call centres). He sent me a message 'Hi , is this **( my name)', I blocked him. My dad had to call me to explain on his behalf I didn't even know he lives in Aussie. Thanks |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 9:30pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
tearoses: The marriage is not a burning fire, the marriage is in ashes. Any marriage that can be ruined by a "Happy Birthday" message is dead, buried, and gone. tearoses: [img]http://4.bp..com/-ck0z2STbjfQ/Ull_ZmgHW9I/AAAAAAAAAq0/c4MLu7jByvY/s1600/icant.gif[/img] 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by prettyjo(f): 9:46pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
lubbish... |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Moana(f): 9:46pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
She needs to appear on "I married a psycho" 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Ewuro4: 9:56pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
I just saw your mention Edwife edwife: I am belong to a school of thought that lump all forms of communication into one category sms inclusive. But I'll drop that topic for another thread. @bold that Summed it all up. She's either a chronic cheat , her husband has trust issues or they're both kuku & looking for a way out of their man made hellhole they both called marriage. Thanks |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 10:11pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Ewuro4: LOL In a normal marriage, without pre existing issues, then it shouldnt have been a problem, but since one does not know what is going on with the couple behind their closed doors, especially as this is a person one hasnt seen/heard from in such a long time, then its better to err on the side of caution until one knows whats up. In this circumstance, a fb birthday message would have been sufficient IMO. Its not as if they were call buddies before now. There was also the issue of the mixup with the name Sounds like the hubby was confused that the name she had saved the Op's name was different from the name on the message We dont know what issues are on ground between bro Akpan and that family before now. One has to be wise jare, especially when stepping into unknown territory. 5 years ago was 5 years ago. This is now. re the issue of trust; it could even be something along the total opposite lines. It may have been the man who receives calls from ladies and wifey is always complaining about it . . .then all of a sudden a mix up message arrives and the husband throws his toys out of the pram too in retaliation. . . . It could be anything hence the reason to think and think again before doing some things, epsecially when you are in unfamiliar territory. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Ewuro4: 10:23pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
tearoses: True yarn. @bold.., hmmm many mysterious deaths and one begin to wonder why. I agree one has to thread carefully jare. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 10:25pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Ewuro4: It is well sis @ Oduok my posts are not to castigate you, but just to look at the bigger picture. I know that you meant no harm, and you have learnt from this. Take care |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by NifemiOlu(m): 11:34pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
Facebook? What a long time! |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Nobody: 2:11am On Jun 25, 2015 |
This op may not be telling the whole truth. Guess he is only trying to justify himself here. From my own understanding of the story, if the woman saved his name with bro j and he wrote engr u then that means they have been having constant communication between themselves since they both have each others contacts saved. One thing too, it seems the husband did suspected the wife and the op in the past which made the wife to saved the contact with a different name to deceive the husband of the engr u that has always trespassed but unfortunately for her, the op decides to include his name on that very day to send the message which made the hubby to have a second thought of the deception of the wife on that particular bro j who she has been telling him calls or even went for visitation with every time she goes out for preaching and stay extra hours. I may be wrong though but this is what I think. Check my signature too. Thanks. |
Re: Help!!! Birthday Message Tears My Friend's Marriage by Oduok(m): 7:06pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Thanks all for your advice. I have learnt my lesson now - though the hard way. I'll now keep my gap from married friends, no matter how innocent. |
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