No need for stories...

They have been happily married for almost five years, and the marriage has produced two lovely kids.

Everything took a twist when her husband (my dude) was at the mechanic over the weekend to have his car serviced.
While he was there, his wife drove past the place, then two other guys who also brought their car for repairs also spotted her, exclaimed and tried to wave at her
but it was too late.
After that ensued a conversation between them. According to my paddy, the gist went thus:

Guy A: Shey you still remember that my friend that we only lasted for 1 week way back then on campus?

Guy B: Sure I do, no be that Caleb babe that year?

Guy A: Ah! She even dated him? and she was dating Jay at that period too.

Guy A: Fear women o... Vivian told me some time ago when we were serving in Abeokuta Ogun state the my friend's wife
snatched one house of assembly member from one of her friends and caused serious face-off between them.

Guy B: No wonder na that money she take build that student lodge for that una lodge side that year ba?
I for talk na.

Guy A: I think its not only monies from that side but from some of their (she and her cliques) trips to PH, Lagos, Abj etc...
Something wey them dey even bring "thanks for coming bags". I heard she's married now.

Guy B: Choi! I pity that innocent man.

Well, this is a bit heart wrenching.

The issue now is that;

1. My friend said he's not attracted to her anymore.

2. She hid the fact that she once owned a house that she sold recently.

3. He said he question everything she does lately.

4. He felt used (scammed)

And he's considering divorce which to me is too far of an action.

Pls I need clues and hints on what to tell him to make to him rescind and discard his decision and thought of quitting the marriage.

NB: Earlier while they were dating, she won't tell him how she used to live her life on the occasions when her husband asked her about her exes...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.............will be back soon

All that because of some silly amebo from mechanics which MIGHT be untrue? O ga oo.

He should ask his wife na but I'm not sure how i would react if my hubby calls me to say " My mechanic said he know . . . ."

Every time MY FRIEND say d truth and set ur self......

ifyalways:
All that because of some silly amebo from mechanics which MIGHT be untrue? O ga oo.

He should ask his wife na but I'm not sure how i would react if my hubby calls me to say " My mechanic said he know . . . ."

Not from mechanics but other guys that brought their car for repairs also.

MisterGrace:


Not from mechanics but other guys that brought their car for repairs also.

Na una sabi abeg. My second sentence still stands.

ifyalways:

Na una sabi abeg. My second sentence still stands.

Please I am here for clues and hints and not for blame games.

The husband should confront the wife first. Mistaken identity is possible.

When a man decides to marry a lady(or vice versa),he takes everything.............garbage and all.
That is why when you decide to marry,observe due diligence and get some background info.If you are okay,then marry and it's a new beginning for both of you.

When guys see a girl walking on the road and begin to look at the ukwu and say whao,this is it,make dem no complain after.

Even if he decides to confront the wife,I don't see how that will change anything about the past.Make the guy renew his mind.After all,he didn't meet her a virgin.

Even if it's true, so?
She owned a house that she sold and doesn't own anymore. what's there to tell him?
Abi na all the people she dated according to two jobless men that will be the man's problem now?

Let him divorce abeg let's hear word.
As if someone from his past comes to tell stories of all the girls he used to hang out with it won't fill a book.

MisterGrace:


Please I am here for clues and hints and not for blame games.

Are you the man?

cococandy:

Are you the man?

No! Ma'am.

The write up agreed to the said gist-gbam,that not withstanding, i wish to blame both for not knowing what each wanted in a r/ship,had they known,their past lives would ve been made known to each other,had it been known to the man,he sure wouldn't have bothered. They can only amend the crack by opening up sincerely and agree never to hid a thing from each other.

If his wife has changed, I really don't see any reason for the panic.. all that is in the past now...

MisterGrace:


No! Ma'am.

Well there's no lady that had an active social life in Nigeria that doesn't end up tagged as wayward.

Heck even the ones that haven't met you before except online will also call you a runs girl in a moment of disagreement just to spite you much less the ones who have known you and a friendship didn't work out.

Tell your friend to be a reasonable human being.
If his wife is not doing anything contrary to their marriage vows now, I wonder what his problem really is.

From your story,it seems the marriage was built on very rocky foundation.For heaven's sake that's her past life.I know of men who condone adultery and other misbehaviours.That's because they want to work out their marital differences.When an issue this trivial happens and your friend starts looking for the exit door,its a clear indication that he is not ready to be married.Staying married requires a lot of work,alongside emotional maturity,tolerance and commitment.The "for better for worse"clause in the marriage vows is not for entertainment purpose.Its something that should be taken very seriously.This is her "worse",if your friend loves her,he would forgive her and move on.Marriage is a union of two constant forgivers,else it won't work o.Anyways,I can help your friend with the divorce petition.Babe must wack last last!

queenfav:
From your story,it seems the marriage was built on very rocky foundation.For heaven's sake that's her past life.I know of men who condone adultery and other misbehaviours.That's because they want to work out their marital differences.When an issue this trivial happens and your friend starts looking for the exit door,its a clear indication that he is not ready to be married.Staying married requires a lot of work,alongside emotional maturity,tolerance and commitment.The "for better for worse"clause in the marriage vows is not for entertainment purpose.Its something that should be taken very seriously.This is her "worse",if your friend loves her,he would forgive her and move on.Marriage is a union of two constant forgivers,else it won't work o.Anyways,I can help your friend with the divorce petition.Babe must wack last last!

One thing is, she never disclose to her husband about all those stuffs when he asked her about her exes and past relationship life.

So your friend is married to an ex-runs girl?

Has she ever given him room to suspect her of still seeing other men since they got married? Does he fear the kids are not his?

Even if the stories are true, that was all in the past. The past really shouldn't be allowed to ruin a perfectly good future.

He can discuss his findings with her though, but I don't think That's enough reason to ruin the marriage.

I really don't see what the problem is. Guys have been known to exaggerate their escapades in order to appear tough and hip, which those gossip mongers might have been doing

If he didnt do the due diligence before marriage then sorry

MisterGrace:


One thing is, she never disclose to her husband about all those stuffs when he asked her about her exes and past relationship life.

errrm.. uncle,the deed has been done already.The issue now is how best they can move past it.Is it everything your friend told her about his past?Not saying she is right,but the fact is that it isn't fair to expect perfection from any human.The day you decide to get married,you should be down for whatever.There are happy times and not so happy times.Your maturity is exhibited in how best you can settle your disputes without letting a third ear hear.So advice your friend that he either has to forgive her or end the marriage if its going to be an issue for him.Its a very simple matter really,it shouldn't have escalated to this point of involving u being a friend of the family.How does he even expect you to respect his wife in future,when he opened his mouth to narrate all that to you?

Op you can lie

Awon elejo wewe. cho cho men everywhere. Oyao all of you take this

I discovered that most men can't forgive a woman's past if at all there is any,some men even go to the extent of cooking stuff or looking for a bad past by force...whereas a woman shld forgive them and take it all up.
Maybe his living in d fear of would she do it again and don't be surprised some of those guys would know her husband and deliberately act like they didnt know just to ruin the marriage...this has happened to me,a case where I didn't know someone,never met him in my life,never was I a runsgirl,am too afraid to be one sef,d guy told my husband if he knows my past he would run ,honestly dat caused a lot of issue between my husband and I then.
It takes a very matured man to look past all that and focus on d woman she is now

MisterGrace:


One thing is, she never disclose to her husband about all those stuffs when he asked her about her exes and past relationship life.

You seem to know everything about your friend, his wife, and his marriage. Let him understand that all these side talks and divulging of all information will only break his home.

OP, dat ur guy been don tire for d marriage already but no see beta reason to run

And dats why he is holding on to dis particular incidence

Zobooooooooo. Zobo without sugar

Did he marry a virgin?

If NO, the ediot should stick to the marriage contract!


He married a non-virgin and expect other men to claim they've not tasted her 'goods'? smh!

Sorry, but the man is just being s!lly, you don't marry a non-virgin and expect that she's not got a terrible, disgusting or mild se,xcapdes.

I'm sure that man is one of those Nairalanders that come here to shout and rant "virginity is over hyped"? "fc k virginity", "I need experienced Lady"

Where else should a lady get that experience if not from:

1. Ex campus boos
2. Neighbour
3. Teacher
4. And of course NYSC Camp and PPA Lodge



Your friend yaff marry, he should carry his cross.

OK

MisterGrace:


Not from mechanics but other guys that brought their car for repairs also.

What a co-incidence.

Waiting to read comments.

So your friend decides to divorce his wife of 2 kids who he probably loves/loved based on a story he heard at the mechanics... even if that were true, that happened probably 5-10 years back. mtcheeeew I don't even like talking about couples and their lives and stuff


Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.