BornnAgainChild:


Well the truth might be bitter but then it obviously means his getting it elsewere,i'd advice you dont ask him for it again,just pretend and overlook him am sure his consciences would prick him,engage yourself with your kids affairs,try something new dress hot and take your baby out,and please try GET your your husbands cousin out of your mind,thats a NO NO,may God see you through

Sex is the only solution for someone in need of it! It actually has no substitute. None whatsoever! Be real!

This thread has rather created enemies among Nairalanders than what it was meant for. People fighting and insulting each other due to difference in opinions.

OP, I sensed that U were much into teenage sex. And this has affected ur way of life. See, we form habits, but habits make us and determine our end.

Marriage is a whole lot more and with a child that came as a result of endless spontaneous sporadic sex and forced a marriage when all things were not ready, the challenge will be enormous but surmountable.

People of your age most times have an unusual sexual urge which is now worsened by your early expedition while in your teens. Your hubby then could Bleep as if it was a sport you both were in, he may have someone else he was into, she may be his love but your situation cut off his dreams. I'm sure that friend is back in his life because she has not found a replacement. Right now you are a burden to him. Stuffs do happen. Certainly your hubby is into another woman. Please prove me wrong.
My advise is just watch him as an abandoned specie, and focus on urself, baby, business and ur school. While believing of him doing stuff outside ur marriage develop tenacity not to be provoked until the situations catch up with him. His cover up or hidden affections will not last. Then stay away from his cousin, please avoid him like a plaque. It's a woeful thing for U to have been close to him. U are just a naive girl on sex and relationships. Your husband is more experienced than you and he's on top of his game.
Finally marriages after honey moon goes through a lot of challenges. It's not a bed of roses. If U still think it's sex sex, your are sitting on a long thing. Now face ur abandonment with prayers, spiritual inclination to God that ordained marriage. Meanwhile was it a church wedding, and due to unwanted pregnancy it's most unlikely. Prayer is the key. Don't do any other thing to bring you to a fault that will brush his ego to throw U out, or divorce. And try to tame that ur libido by focusing on what I emphasized earlier on, or create a natural way to stimulate yourself to coming and reduce the sexual pressures till he retraces his steps. He will come back loving U and I bet U he will confess what happened to him. Keep watching now. You will thank me then, seriously!

My Advice 2 u is try sit him down nd talk 2 him again,bt pray b4 doin so...nd if derez no change,u can forward d matter 2 ur mature minded pastor or ur mature minded relative(mostly 4rm his own family(men) or som1 u knw he is used 2 in ur own relativ(men))...bt d adultery tin, iz a no go area 4 u o

Seduce your husband then, Go n get some seductive wears n wear it when both of you are in the house...Men don't like the wife wearing wrappers(iro), he will fall for it

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blesoh:

meaning i cant be sexy @ home?
My husband likes it dat way @ home,blv me i ve been in ds situation b4,i search till i got d answer.

Not always, you should know less is more and have seen situation where husband cautions wife for dressing too sexy especially when they have third party in the home. When you are not adding any quota to the development of the home financially do you think dressing sexy will serve as a panacea to your marital problem?

blakky97:

Abeg watin dis ppikin dey yarn? Take sex OFF her mind just like that! Is she a tree?

Adult you think sex is everything ba.

Sister, d devil is at work. Sex is wat pleases d Lord wen it is done by couples. D bible says dat no partner should deny another of his or her body. Ur hubby denying u sex is not of God, it is d devil's handiwork in order to make u fall into temptation n den ur marriage will be destroyed.

The advice now are:
1. Pray a violent prayer in d holy ghost knowing fully well dat d devil is at work. Again I say, "pray". if possible "fast".

2. U lusting after ur cousin is a sign dat d devil is winning, but it is not too late. Restructure ur mindset about sex, sex is not d only thing dat prompts marriage. Don't be lusting for sex all d time, wen d lust comes n u know dat ur hubby is not gonna satisfy u, channel d such sex drive to doing d things of God immediately because if u continue with dat lust for sex, d devil will provide an opposite sex dat will do it with u. U will regret it forever.

3. Be born again genuinely n kill dat spirit of lust with d word of God. Getting married is not d solution to lust. Even if ur husband will be having sex with u everyday, as far as dat lust is in u there will come a time dat u will leave ur husband n be flirting. BE BORN AGAIN GENUINELY N KILL DAT SPIRIT OF LUST.

* I'll involve ur case in my prayers by God's grace

nkemdi89:

Not always, you should know less is more and have seen situation where husband cautions wife for dressing too sexy especially when they have third party in the home. When you are not adding any quota to the development of the home financially do you think dressing sexy will serve as a panacea to your marital problem?

Good point from you thumbs up

Udstar:
Sister, d devil is at work. Sex is wat pleases d Lord wen it is done by couples. D bible says dat no partner should deny another of his or her body. Ur hubby denying u sex is not of God, it is d devil's handiwork in order to make u fall into temptation n den ur marriage will be destroyed.

The advice now are:
1. Pray a violent prayer in d holy ghost knowing fully well dat d devil is at work. Again I say, "pray". if possible "fast".

2. U lusting after ur cousin is a sign dat d devil is winning, but it is not too late. Restructure ur mindset about sex, sex is not d only thing dat prompts marriage. Don't be lusting for sex all d time, wen d lust comes n u know dat ur hubby is not gonna satisfy u, channel d such sex drive to doing d things of God immediately because if u continue with dat lust for sex, d devil will provide an opposite sex dat will do it with u. U will regret it forever.

3. Be born again genuinely n kill dat spirit of lust with d word of God. Getting married is not d solution to lust. Even if ur husband will be having sex with u everyday, as far as dat lust is in u there will come a time dat u will leave ur husband n be flirting. BE BORN AGAIN GENUINELY N KILL DAT SPIRIT OF LUST.

* I'll involve ur case in my prayers by God's grace

Ride on pastor

there is notin u can do in dis case cus hes tired of u in d incense too much of ur kitten don tire am.
what u need do now is get engage in a busines venture that ll kip u busy and forget him.
ignor him nd pretend u dont care about him
i bet u he ll come back to his sense

u give him too much attention cut it off

nd mind u dont do it with malice nd make sure ur love no fade
pretend as if every tin is fine
but in d long run jst pretend u care less

if e continue den pack and stay with me

nkemdi89:

Adult you think sex is everything ba.

come on kid,
you just dont get up and tell a sexually active person to keep sex off the mind like that.
I mean... sex is not everything but a living thing cant stay away from it.
ask those randy fathers and reverend sisters. theyll tell you.

Pls dont do that it will destroy ur marriage rather learn how to dress sexually, let ur dressing and apperances do d talking, cook good foods for him. Prayers is also needed. For more info. 08038957315

Na house u still dey

mradjoy:
Ride on pastor

pastor is an extra load o o, I will be happy if am called a Child of GOD.

If you were a 'he', OP, I would've advised you to go get yourself a sex doll. You life will never remain the same after that.

tearoses:


Kini gbogbo eleyi gan You people should go and open your own thread or go to national stadium to fight intead of all this.

Royalroy please sanitise this thread. Thank you.

@biaka, now that you have shed more light on the issue, one is able to advise you better.
You have a choice, you can do it the long hard way or take it the short term easy way out, but both have different consequences

I will be blunt with you and you may not like what I am going to say, but as Zi said, this hopefully will help another girl in the same situation or prevent another girl from finding herself in this situation

Firstly your husband was forced to get married to you due to the pregnancy. You were not his choice or certainly not his choice to be his Mrs at that point. If not for the pregnancy, he wouldnt have married you at that point.
He is resentful becasue his plans were shattered. He is also angry at your family for forcing him to marry you and he is taking that anger our on you.

I am not saying that he will never love you or snap out of it, but it certainly isnt an overnight thing.

Also crying and begging a man who has no feelings for you is only going to make things worse. Stop it.
I would hate it too if someone I dont want around me comes begging all the time. It will annoy me even more.

You put the cart before the horse, by getting pregnant for a man who you dont know his intentions were, and you are not in a position to be able to solely care for yoursefl and your baby and you are dependent on someone else for upkeep, so it wont be a walk in the park.

This is why I said you have a choice.
You can either say "whatdahell" I need sex and will go out to get it, in which case you will eventually get caught and your hubby who never wanted you will have a reason to kick you out . .
Your parents who also forced you to marry a man becasue you were pregnant dont also sound like parents who will accomodate you as dalemosu if your hubby throws you out. So unles you have plan B, dont try it.

The second choice is to accept your current situation and try to make it better. It will take time though so its not a one week or one month thing.
If this is the option you are going to go for, then first things first STOP BEGGING.
Study your husband well. What are the things that he finds attractive in women? what are the things that he likes? You said he is 10 years older than you, so for a start there is almost a genrational gap.
So while you may like all these telemondu abi whats it called, facebook chatting, Kim and the likes, he may be into politics, finance and more important things. Go and meet him there.

Expose yourself, better yourself, educate yourself, be capable of having deep, sensible and interesting conversations & show him that you have brains and you are actually an asset. Give him an oppourtunity to miss you and to appreciate your worth. You can only do that by actually having something to offer.
You are a kid, married to an adult and so you are going to have to grow up very fast.

Forget about sex for now. What is sex without a relationship and romance anyway? 5 minutes pam pam against a hours of sweet talks, hugs, kissing, lovemaking, gist and laughs & sleeping in each others arns. . I kow what I will choose if its me.

Grow in poise, elegance and self worth and show him that you are not the girl he was forced to marry, but the woman that he would have loved to marry.

What are your interests? Do they/can they generate capital?
A man will always almost respect a woman who can hold down the home front in his absense. The little little money he is giving you, how do you spend it?
Are you the type that sits in darkness becasue oga has not come bacl to buy fuel for the gen?

My dear you may be a baby in age, but you are now in an adult situation.
Honestly I feel for you becasue most 19, 20, 21 to 23 year olds dont even know what they are doing or want and marriage is too big a thing for them to comprehend and deal with, but you are here now, and you just need to make the best of a bad situation.

Feel free to ask me any questions or need more advise. I pray that it all works out for you.

Now this is what I called wisdom! is your name Esther? Because you sounded like that Esther in the Holy Bible, full of wisdom. I've said this before n will always say it that if women can think n reason like men, then most of our marital problems is 50% solved already, pls kip it up.

biaka1994:
I have done dat so many times all he tells me is I won't tell him wen 2 do it n wen not to. Bro am getting tired. I wanted 2 walk out but I take a glance @my baby nd I hv a 2nd thought. Its rili weighing me down.

Sis pls by all means do what will make you happy. At the end of the day, its our individual lives we are living. And those who are telling u "kill the lust" may nt have had the chance to walk in ur shoes.

Altho the big question is this, what if ur said husband's cousin does not feel the same way as you?
What then happens?
U gonna seduce him or what?
These are just my thots.

Apart from these just go ahead and enjoy ur life. U only live once u know.

biaka1994:
Thanks. I'll kip praying

u're letting ur husband down so much that u can discuss ur sex life with his cousin. To be frank with u, Op, u've been eyeing his cousin for a very long time instead of discussing d issue with ur hubby very well.

Udstar:


pastor is an extra load o o, I will be happy if am called a Child of GOD.

We are all children of God na, but not all are pastors

Follow your mind and be ready to face the consequences of your actions








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mradjoy:
We are all children of God na, but not all are pastors

Ya dats true. But why did u call me a pastor?

Don't want to sound judgemental but going by ur story it seems to me the man has "seen you finish". As in "see finish syndrome" seems to be the problem here.

U did mention that even BEFORE u got married that u were both having sex almost every minute of the day. That is enough to make any man wanna take a break.

I don't know about you but I think the man deserves to recover from all that work. He is not a machine you know.

Now don't take it personally. He will still come round.

[size=14pt]Some will cheat no matter how good things are but there some who will never cheat no matter how bad things are. [/size]

Flee from temptation(that's what Joseph did when Potiphar's wife wanted him). Note doing it with his cousin's will destroy your marriage,you and possibly his cousin's marriage . Be wise now so that you won't say it was the devil.

Udstar:


Ya dats true. But why did u call me a pastor?

Aren't you a Pastor? Signature=Christ in me and you confirmed it by saying you'll pray for op. Now tell me, who are you really, pastor, prophet, Imam or just being good?

blakky97:

come on kid,
you just dont get up and tell a sexually active person to keep sex off the mind like that.
I mean... sex is not everything but a living thing cant stay away from it.
ask those randy fathers and reverend sisters. theyll tell you.

Do you believe you can still make your points without trying to abuse someone? The problem most young people lack is the ability to communicate, why would you abuse me? I dnt knw the way or manner you were brought up or what you are experiencing emotionally or psychologically at the moment, you shouldn't just come to a thread and start insulting people, or has that solve the problem on ground? Or will you derive joy if I replied in an offensive manner?

mradjoy:
Aren't you a Pastor? Signature=Christ in me and you confirmed it by saying you'll pray for op. Now tell me, who are you really, pastor, prophet, Imam or just being good?

All my life, everywhere I go, people call me pastor. People ranging from my friends, primary school friends, secondary school friends, my neighbours, my church members, university colleagues and now YOU.

Lmao at people who say forget about sex, focus on kids, work blahblahblah. Truth is, nothing can replace the urge for sex. I don't know how long you can stay without it but when u reach your threshold I know u'll find a way to satisfy yourself.

Again I think your husband has some form of sexually transmitted disease he is hiding from you. Probe him a lot more or ask that you both go to the hospital to check for the cause of his sudden zero libido. If he refuses then something is fishy, that's how they all are when they know something is wrong with them. They refuse to go with you to the hospital for checkup. Insisting they are perfectly fine. They would even turn it against you for suggesting such.

Forget all this bullshiiiiit about dressing sexy, not nagging, been clean, cooking and all that. Its men who patronise prostitutes not ghosts. A man that want to have to have sex with you will do that irrespective.

biaka1994:
Y don't say wat ever u wanna say here

nice move, Pls be careful of pms.

nkemdi89:

Do you believe you can still make your points without trying to abuse someone? The problem most young people lack is the ability to communicate, why would you abuse me? I dnt knw the way or manner you were brought up or what you are experiencing emotionally or psychologically at the moment, you shouldn't just come to a thread and start insulting people, or has that solve the problem on ground? Or will you derive joy if I replied in an offensive manner?

I dont see anywhere I insulted you.
im playing with you
its all about differences in our sense of humour
I thought tou played along when you called me adult.
its nice. we learn everyday. im so sorry I insulted you. how uncouth! how manner forsaken! I promise it wont happen again.

biaka1994:
Please I just need your advice or advices which ever of them. I met my husband in 2013 things were going on well and sweet. We normally make love almost every minute of the day so much dat I got used to it. When we got married and I got pregnant my husband became so cold towards sex I thought maybe he was scared of my pregnancy. Some times i'll have to beg him to make love to me. After much begging he'll reluctantly do it. I gave birth and I thought things would change but it's all the same. I keep begging and begging I have just decided to be myself and take my mind of it. The only person I talk to is his cousin and have become so close to him that am beginning to lust after him he is married tho but he lives close to us. Just this evening I nearly kissed him and I felt so embarrassed. Please guys help me it's Getting out of hand. What do I do? Please no bashing we all are humans and we do silly things atimes.




Cc: Lalasticlala

its happening to me too, i dont enjoy sex with my wife any more, she is 6 months preg, she is now the one requesting for sex, i have a high sex drive i have another lady am planning marrying this christmass, the cause of this is that my wive has a very very very loose vagina, men i dont enjoy anythinf from it