₦airaland Forum

have been dating my gf for over three years now. last we were talking when she told me she did a double piercing without my consent. when I asked why she said she just felt like doing it. I know we are not married yet but do have the right to be mad at her?

Ok... If it make the frontpage. I wl tell you what to do.

Holla when you make fp....

See jamb question

You are confused about your gender as I can see.

@topic,she should seek permission from you before she does things to her own body? You must really feel you are some semi-god.

Vyolet:
You are confused about your gender as I can see.

@topic,she should seek permission from you before she does things to her own body? You must really feel you are some semi-god.

I couldn't have said it better


'Permission'?? are you for real? You never pay dowry you dey claim ownership.....she's a 'girlfriend' not a 'wife'.....even if she is there's a limit to the control you can have over her

She should have still told you na,, maybe you guys ain't that close or she knows you'll discourage her.


But on the other hand she is not obligated to inform you.

All the other girls.... Including the I couldn't have said it better.. smh... What were u expecting after 3yrs, dey have gotten to dt stage where dey shouldn't be sharing secrets nw, relationships lyk ds leads to wedding.... And u knw d rest .... Thumbs up to whizqueen... Shoulda been witchqueen though

OP, che ur gf na ur daughter? u gat no right to question sum things she wanna do wen she is nt yet ur wife. for me sha, i luv babes nt only wit double pearcing bt wit tripple or more piercing and i wudnt even mind if my future wife do hv such.

tbmas:
All the other girls.... Including the I couldn't have said it better.. smh... What were u expecting after 3yrs, dey have gotten to dt stage where dey shouldn't be sharing secrets nw, relationships lyk ds leads to wedding.... And u knw d rest .... Thumbs up to whizqueeen... Shoulda been witchqueen though

Bet why witch

Simple: You don't have to be mad at her...If. u not a lover of piercing, u can end the relationship. Sé fini

tbmas:
All the other girls.... Including the I couldn't have said it better.. smh... What were u expecting after 3yrs, dey have gotten to dt stage where dey shouldn't be sharing secrets nw, relationships lyk ds leads to wedding.... And u knw d rest .... Thumbs up to whizqueen... Shoulda been witchqueen though

Who is talking about 'secrets'....I'm talking about the use of the words 'permission' and 'consent'.....read and understand

she told me about it few months ago and i said i don't like it. felt we should have talked about before doing it instead of making it sudden.

Vyolet:
You are confused about your gender as I can see.

@topic,she should seek permission from you before she does things to her own body? You must really feel you are some semi-god.

i dont mean permission. we talked about it and i told her i don't like it

Where exactly did she pierce ?

Segbu1:
have been dating my gf for over three years now. last we were talking when she told me she did a double piercing without my consent. when I asked why she said she just felt like doing it. I know we are not married yet but do have the right to be mad at her?

I do not support the view that a girl has to secure the permission of her boyfriend before carrying out personal decision like double piercing. As long as she is still under the care of her parents, it is only pertinent that she seeks the permission of her parents or husband if she is married.

She may choose to inform her boyfriend about her decision, but it is not within his purview to stop her except he is her bread winner or her husband. He may advice and give his opinion, but in a normal circumstance he definitely has no authority in that sphere as long as he is just a boyfriend.

[quote author=Jascon4 post=36117783]I do not support the view that a girl has to secure the permission of her boyfriend before carrying out personal decision like double piercing. As long as she is still under the care of her parents, it is only pertinent that she seeks the permission of her parents or husband if she is married.

She may choose to inform her boyfriend about her decision, but it is not within his purview to stop her except he is her bread winner or her husband. He may advice and give his opinion, but in a normal circumstance he definitely has no authority in that sphere as long as he is just a boyfriend.[/quo

You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

Jascon4:
I do not support the view that a girl has to secure the permission of her boyfriend before carrying out personal decision like double piercing. As long as she is still under the care of her parents, it is only pertinent that she seeks the permission of her parents or husband if she is married.

She may choose to inform her boyfriend about her decision, but it is not within his purview to stop her except he is her bread winner or her husband. He may advice and give his opinion, but in a normal circumstance he definitely has no authority in that sphere as long as he is just a boyfriend.

You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

Segbu1:
she told me about it few months ago and i said i don't like it. felt we should have talked about before doing it instead of making it sudden.

Did she pierce your body?
Have you carried out the traditional rites?
Do you tell her about every single detail about you?
Does she get to approve everything you do?

If the answer to any of the above is no then sit down....

mrsmith11:
You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

Seriously,I wasn't surprised when I saw some nl females supporting this action....this further shows that some females are with fish brain...

The boyfriend is dating her and @the same time picturing himself as her husband...he made his decisions assuming himself as her husband..but alas the girl was only thinking about the present,should he dump her now...you will hear the same girls saying he use and dump her..

Pity

Adaeze003:
Did she pierce your body? Have you carried out the traditional rites? Do you tell her about every single detail about you? Does she get to approve everything you do?
If the answer to any of the above is no then sit down....

Pity...you just like the op girlfriend think only of the present...
Pity

mrsmith11:
You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

Why do african men seek to control everything about the life of the African woman? Yes, african woman because some of them will literally become slaves for whites... i'm sure if the gf was white, he'll smile sheepishly at her. but I guess that's a story for another day.

Now, a man can never(yes, never) have full control of an enlightened woman. I agree with you that our partners influence our lives but it's just to an extent. The influence you have over your gf(and vice versa) increases as you step up and be her husband but until then Mr, it is VERY limited.

So let me now think of the future, what if they don't end up married? Or must every relationship lead to marriage? Then What if she marries a guy that thinks her double piercing is adorable Did you and kevinberry think about that?

Then who cares if the guy likes it or not it she is HAPPY with it? Like seriously ya'll better come off that high horse...

mrsmith11:
You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

If he nurtured plans to marry her, then she would become his fiancé. He may have the right to be mad, but definitely doesn't have authority over her as her boyfriend. His input is restricted to advice, counsel, opinion, protest etc

kevinberry:
Seriously,I wasn't surprised when I saw some nl females supporting this action....this further shows that some females are with fish brain...

The boyfriend is dating her and @the same time picturing himself as her husband...he made his decisions assuming himself as her husband..but alas the girl was only thinking about the present,should he dump her now...you will hear the same girls saying he use and dump her..

Pity

Some of these ladies do opposite of what they advice

kevinberry:
Seriously,I wasn't surprised when I saw some nl females supporting this action....this further shows that some females are with fish brain...

The boyfriend is dating her and @the same time picturing himself as her husband...he made his decisions assuming himself as her husband..but alas the girl was only thinking about the present,should he dump her now...you will hear the same girls saying he use and dump her..

Pity

You're definitely the one with the brain of a fish here.......we're talking about the use of the words 'consent' and 'permission'.....I bet your gf asks you for permission about every step she wants to take in her life


''she did a double piercing without my
consent.''

^^^with you being such a wisee ass you definitely didn't see the above in what the op typed

Adaeze003:
Why do african men seek to control everything about the life of the African woman? Yes, african woman because some of them will literally become slaves for whites... i'm sure if the gf was white, he'll smile sheepishly at her. but I guess that's a story for another day.

Now, a man can never(yes, never) have full control of an enlightened woman. I agree with you that our partners influence our lives but it's just to an extent. The influence you have over your gf(and vice versa) increases as you step up and be her husband but until then Mr, it is VERY limited.

So let me now think of the future, what if they don't end up married? Or must every relationship lead to marriage? Then What if she marries a guy that thinks her double piercing is adorable Did you and kevinberry think about that?

Then who cares if the guy likes it or not it she is HAPPY with it? Like seriously ya'll better come off that high horse...

My point exactly! That's exactly why I said there's a limit to the 'control' you can have over your woman!.....oooh well...


Welcome to have Africa.....a place where women are OWNED!

mrsmith11:
You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

dude, influence isn't exactly the same thing as control. What he desires is control which is reserved for husbands only (after her dad hands her over), in our African setting. If he wants that, let him marry her first.

It's not her fault that he isn't influential. If he were, he needn't say much before she yields to his viewpoint.

BTW, if he hates it that much, he can end the relationship. Better that than get into a marriage where her double piercing becomes the most important issue in his eyes.

mrsmith11:
You and ladies above are saying he doesn't have right to be mad becos his just a bf

Tomorrow he marries her then ask her to remove the the double piercing becos he doesn't like it so you don't think there will be fight?

One of the things in a relationship is your partner having influence in your life whether husband or boyfriend so if you can't accept there influence then you are not ready or suppose to be relationship

Ma'am did you read the op's post thoroughly??

''she did a double piercing without my consent''

^^^this is what we're talking about......do you get it now?

SarahBabyxx:
You're definitely the one with the brain of a fish here.......we're talking about the use of the words 'consent' and 'permission'.....I bet your gf asks you for permission about every step she wants to take in her life


''she did a double piercing without my
consent.''

^^^with you being such a wisee ass you definitely didn't see the above in what the op typed

Yeah,I saw it,my girlfriend won't try that,I don't know anything about yours,the sole purpose of courting is to see if the both of you are compatiable,and here in africa male folks are seen as the head,you can't expect me to be happy when I told you blankly that I hate something and you still go ahead to do that thing without having a tangible reasons for such actions,per adventure. We get married,I won't be happy or proud about my wife having double piercing on her ear,my advice to the op is to let go of the girl,look for another girl that will respect you,there are thousands of them out there....

Op,drop her stubborn ass...this is me,you have to respect my wishes and I respect yours too..am an african man...

Adaeze003:
Why do african men seek to control everything about the life of the African woman? Yes, african woman because some of them will literally become slaves for whites... i'm sure if the gf was white, he'll smile sheepishly at her. but I guess that's a story for another day.

Now, a man can never(yes, never) have full control of an enlightened woman. I agree with you that our partners influence our lives but it's just to an extent. The influence you have over your gf(and vice versa) increases as you step up and be her husband but until then Mr, it is VERY limited.

So let me now think of the future, what if they don't end up married? Or must every relationship lead to marriage? Then What if she marries a guy that thinks her double piercing is adorable Did you and kevinberry think about that?

Then who cares if the guy likes it or not it she is HAPPY with it? Like seriously ya'll better come off that high horse...

Black or white I don't care,this is me an african man..we all have our cultures,if you are white I tell you do this,you start to talk rubbish,then find your way,I can't compromise what I want,no matter the colour of your skin..get it..

Am an african man,I live my life by my culture...

No u have no right!!