₦airaland Forum

My husband and I started dating when he had noting now he has gotten a job and we live in a house of our own with a car which he all got after we got married, we dated for four years b4 we got married, we got married three years ago we were living happily not until I got pregnant, when my pregnancy was eight months my elder sister gave birth thru CS so my husband and I both agreed that I will go 2 my family house so that my mum can take care of me because she won't be able to come over cos of my sister's health. I gave birth Jan this year and 8days later I traveled to zaria to meet my mum, my husband dropped me at home promising to b coming to check on the baby and I every weekend because 4rm zaria to our house is abt 30mins drive.
After he left I dnt c him again till after 2weeks and he didn't even stay up to an hour wit us and he left any time I call him at night he is either at club or in bar drinking so because of this I told my mum I was going home I left zaria my baby was jst 1month and 2weeks old only for me to return home and meet a dfft man from the person I married, I went thru his pone I saw dfft msgs 4rm five dfft girls his pone is now full of girls pix and porn, as if that is not enough he beat me at any even opportunity and any tym I want to leave he wil carry knife that he wil kill me and kill himself I'm so confuse I don't knw what to do pls I need advice. The other we quarrel he dragged me into his car and almost got us killed because of the way he was driving I managed to run away from him that the and the next day he saw me he collected my baby from and wanted to take my baby to orphanage home.

sunshan:
My husband and I started dating when he had noting now he has gotten a job and we live in a house of our own with a car which he all got after we got married, we dated for four years b4 we got married, we got married three years ago we were living happily not until I got pregnant, when my pregnancy was eight months my elder sister gave birth thru CS so my husband and I both agreed that I will go 2 my family house so that my mum can take care of me because she won't be able to come over cos of my sister's health. I gave birth Jan this year and 8days later I traveled to zaria to meet my mum, my husband dropped me at home promising to b coming to check on the baby and I every weekend because 4rm zaria to our house is abt 30mins drive.
After he left I dnt c him again till after 2weeks and he didn't even stay up to an hour wit us and he left any time I call him at night he is either at club or in bar drinking so because of this I told my mum I was going home I left zaria my baby was jst 1month and 2weeks old only for me to return home and meet a dfft man from the person I married, I went thru his pone I saw dfft msgs 4rm five dfft girls his pone is now full of girls pix and porn, as if that is not enough he beat me at any even opportunity and any tym I want to leave he wil carry knife that he wil kill me and kill himself I'm so confuse I don't knw what to do pls I need advice. The other we quarrel he dragged me into his car and almost got us killed because of the way he was driving I managed to run away from him that the and the next day he saw me he collected my baby from and wanted to take my baby to orphanage home.

is this story real or I don't get it... its funny though but i kinda find this hard to believe. and you still remain in that house aftr the threatened to stab you? He wanted to take his own child to the orphanage home? are you both going to die soon

You don't have to tell him you're leaving.
Just leave quietly.
You're rubbing it in his face that you're leaving so that he will kill you and kill himself abi?
Think of your little child first.
Thank god you have your mom to lean on this period. So just go back there and let him conquer his demons first before you bring yourself and that little baby into the face of danger.

Someone can kill another person in anger unintentionally much less when they already threatened to do so with a knife.
Whatever came over him will clear once that knife finds its way into your body. By then it will be too late.
He needs help and until he gets its and gets better, remove yourself from that danger.

You can be giving him your support from your moms place. Let him come there and see you guys anything he wants to see the baby.
Never go back until you're totally convinced that he's changed.

Haa..This is serious oo .
He beats you and threatens to stab you and himself?
E le yi gidigan oo.

Too bad, money is the root of all evil. What a touching story i can only imagine what you are going through. Who amongst your husband's relative does he listen to? Try report to an elder in his family whom you know he might listen to. To be honest i'm short of words

he collected ur baby from u and u gave him willingly, madam unless u hate urself and ur Baby, I think u should collect that baby and remove urself from DAT house and stay out until he comes back to his senses . QED

Dear God please guide me not to get married to the wrong person

[quote author=sunshan post=38110428][/quote]If you know what is good for you,you will remain quiet and plan your exit from this marriage.You need to get away and let him deal with his demons alone while you nurse your baby.

Not long ago,a man killed his 4 kids in anger and one shoots his daughter before shooting himself because his wife wanted to leave him.

I am sure you shout and threaten him that you will leave rather than to actually do it and secretly too.

That baby is too tender to witness all these atrocities.

Rukkydelta:
Dear God please guide me not to get married to the wrong person

Amen! Dear God please guide me not to get married to the wrong person

Want to knw a man's true personality? Wait till he has money. MIL of blessed memory

Take your baby and move to your parent home pending when he's done with all his fuckery and lost all his naira he may probably come looking for you with some Sti's and Std's.

You've learnt your lessons. Preach to anyone you love and really care about to marry principled fellows. A man with no values is worst than animals.

Your husband needs a psychiatrist/psychologist.


Money is not the problem, people should stop relating bad behaviors to money. How much does he make in a month? There are people who spend N200k in 1 day, yet they act rightly.

Some well respected Nairalanders earn as much as N1million per month in their workplace, yet they run great families.


Please talk to a psychologist; help your husband.

hbpeze:
and am pretty sure you are cheating also

Seriously you need to stop doing this, it's not funny this is something different, you don't have to smear op just because of your own experience.

Talk to ur husbands best friends, am sure they can talk things out with him to find out what's going on.

Mind you, whether he is cheating or have porn in his phones shouldn't be ur major fear now, from what I have read above, your husband is "breaking down" and something must have happened to cause all this.

Talk to his best friends first, find out what happened. Also, increase your prayers for God's protection and intervention.

This is serious! OP, you need to find out what brought on this sudden, drastic change in hubby and do so sharpaly. Why would he be beating you and talking of murder? Something is definitely wrong somewhere.

My dear, u married a mad man on cloth. .sorry for using that. . This is his real self, he was only pretending when you guys were dating. .. if you want to leave, leave when he's not around don't announce it.... I have been in dis kind of animalistic rlship Bfor n I know what you are going through or what you may go through later. killing himself indeed mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeew old story, na today He may come to you and start crying for reconciliation n u will be thinking he has changed but the truth is that he will not change it's better to leave with smile dan to stay with tears

Aha! na here I go sleep today.

At present, ur husband is a problem to u, but he will soon be a problem to the society if care is taken.He is losing it dear.Get across to his family let them knw what u r facing, and ur intention of leaving.However, dont return to dat house after doing dat, his family will sort everything out. After which they will call 4 u.

That man is wicked. I need a world without em.

Sister pls sneak out and run for your life, go to your familly pls,your hussy seem to be frustrated and afraid of loosing you,is he into mystics pls?,God go help you o,he is already under the influence of bad friends,if they had giving him nice advice, he wouldnt hav gone this sour.pls help you self,most married men cant cope without sex whenever their wives are not around,that constant doings dey spoil them bad bad, so pls wives reduce your travellings leaving oga at home,odikwa very very DANGEROUS O!!!

Most people in an online forum actually think that they have an opinion when it comes to relationships and marriages.

You guys haven't heard from the op's husband and listen to his own side of the story but right here you guys are already advising the op to run away from her marriage as if any little problem with any marriage the only solution is total dissolution of such union.

Op ,kindly go back to your house and figure out how you guys ended up this way because one thing I can assure you is that most people that appears to be happily married do have problems that are much more bigger than whatever you think you're into right now. And your topic talked about being cheated on but gradually migrated to domestic violence and threat to life.

Go home and fight for what you believed in and worked so hard to achieve - Do not put yourself in an awkward position that would present to your husband the opportunity to raise his hand on you and that solely lies on your tongue.

There is no perfect marriage and it is usually different strokes for different folks.

Super Story

Where are you op?You are not commenting so I say FICTION!!!

Oyind17:
That man is wicked. I need a world without em.

Have you met this man? Have you heard his side of the story? Y'all just jump in and pick sides without thinking the whole story through. Just listen to yourself ,you need a world without them? You are fatherless ba?

sunshan:
My husband and I started dating when he had noting now he has gotten a job and we live in a house of our own with a car which he all got after we got married, we dated for four years b4 we got married, we got married three years ago we were living happily not until I got pregnant, when my pregnancy was eight months my elder sister gave birth thru CS so my husband and I both agreed that I will go 2 my family house so that my mum can take care of me because she won't be able to come over cos of my sister's health. I gave birth Jan this year and 8days later I traveled to zaria to meet my mum, my husband dropped me at home promising to b coming to check on the baby and I every weekend because 4rm zaria to our house is abt 30mins drive.
After he left I dnt c him again till after 2weeks and he didn't even stay up to an hour wit us and he left any time I call him at night he is either at club or in bar drinking so because of this I told my mum I was going home I left zaria my baby was jst 1month and 2weeks old only for me to return home and meet a dfft man from the person I married, I went thru his pone I saw dfft msgs 4rm five dfft girls his pone is now full of girls pix and porn, as if that is not enough he beat me at any even opportunity and any tym I want to leave he wil carry knife that he wil kill me and kill himself I'm so confuse I don't knw what to do pls I need advice. The other we quarrel he dragged me into his car and almost got us killed because of the way he was driving I managed to run away from him that the and the next day he saw me he collected my baby from and wanted to take my baby to orphanage home.

You lived together happily until childbirth and then he just changed overnight? Your story doesn't sound right.

Not saying you are lying but there are vital missing details in your story, it's incomplete. So, within the space of how many weeks, your husband became suicidal/homicidal as well as a wife beater and womanizer? Maybe if you complete the story, you will get people that can give you sensible counsel.

MMotimo:
You lived together happily until childbirth and then he just changed overnight? Your story doesn't sound right.

Not saying you are lying but there are vital missing details in your story, it's incomplete. So, within the space of how many weeks, your husband became suicidal/homicidal as well as a wife beater and womanizer? Maybe if you complete the story, you will get people that can give you sensible counsel.

I was just about typing something like this. The change is too drastic for my comfort.

It's either the hubby has been/is going through something that the OP is not aware of and the effect is taking a toll on him or this is just an incomplete story.

Whatever the case may be, she needs to keep safe.

Go back to your family, before you are buried 6 feet under

Flee from him, before he kills you in a very tactical way though. He mustn't sense it. You both haven't been married for six months yet. Its so saddening how marriages break up. I often say men who drink surely one way or the other would flirt around. Being in the bar isn't a child's play.


I really doubt if he has emotions running through his vein. He still went ahead to threaten you, now that's scary. God help the female folks from men like these.