₦airaland Forum

Moana:
are these not the same women who go around being everyone else's headache when their husband dies and cannot take care of their kids financially because they felt following ones dreams is useless? Will they not be the same women who will expect another woman' s tax money help them take care of their kids when they become widows.
Feminism has never asked any woman to neglect her primary duty towards their children. Why the fvck do you think there is maternity leave if the aim is make sure women neglect their motherly duty?

anwo247:
You didn't disagree with the OP, you actually agreed. Misunderstood feminism, is a kind of feminism. A lot more are even practicing this kind than what it should be. Educating men and women equally is good enough but that would never convert a man to a woman. Marriage is between a man and a woman and not fellow women. In an effort to explain this natural creation to women, they see the men as bossy. How can the house girl ebthe one that will serve my food? Monday to Friday and spilling into weekends? I would rather remain bachelor.... some demand that you cook for them; try to marry me so i will be cooking for you in the name of equal rights!

The marriage of our parents were so successful because the women agreed to be women. And I asked my mum if she was happy with my dad or she was busy enduring him, she said she was very happy living with a man who is a man. Dad left 15yrs ago to the great beyond and mum still talks about him like daily basis even at 86yrs old! Feminism has robbed women of successful marriages.

raayah:
So all the posts reaching frontpage on nairaland about Nigerian men saying they will beat their wives on slightest provocation? Some even saying that they beat their wives? Or about women dying from DV? You haven't heard of situations where mothers/brothers/sisters in laws join in beating the wife? Yes I have heard and seen as a Nigerian woman.

This is why its a womens issue. Its very easy for men to say otherwise, deny these problems that women specifically face. Its easy for men to say " but I know how to boil rice" so these issues don't bother you. [b]Your one or two examples does not invalidate the millions of women who are going through hell.[/b]Wives, mothers and sisters know how it is because women share within themselves.

Solange slapping Jayz is a very American issue. in America, they have surpassed feminism. This is why I stated that Nigerian feminism and American feminism are different in the beginning.
Women divorcing men in Nigeria is as rare as day. You will notice that the front page posts about Divorce in Nigeria are about very ridiculous reasons that no one can take . Look at examples.
https://www.nairaland.com/2713388/husband-fondles-19-year-old-daughters-breasts - husband seeking divorce (adultery )
https://www.nairaland.com/2700827/pastor-seeks-dissolution-32-year-marriage/ - husband seeking ddivorce (domestic violence)
https://www.nairaland.com/2680439/mother-7-impregnated-another-man - husband seeking divorce (adultery )
These posts were made in the last two weeks. These men seeking divorce are leaving for the same reason that they tell naija women to stay.

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I stated in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought for equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something that was right, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide missions, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that trended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

PuciPrince:
There is no problem with feminism. But what this genearation has termed it to be is totally wrong.

misspicy:
1)feeding

2)clothing

3)shelter

4)transportation
etc


note all this will be jointly used by her family so they can live if not in affluence but convinience

this are the same things a man should provide for which an average Nigerian man cannot do single handedly not because he doesnt want to buh because economy does not allow it therefore he needs help.








i can't marry a flirt sorry,am a jealous lover

misspicy:
first of all i'd like to commend you for tjis insight,it is actually enlighten

@ the bolded i never said your views are wrong

i think you have actually diverted from your post...you mentioned feminism as one of the factors that destroy marriage but to me this piece you wrote her has not addressed how feminism is destroying marriage


fone hanging am not tru yet will modify

Tallesty1:
What people has turned it to is what necessitated its appearance in my post.

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I stated in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought for equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something that was right, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide missions, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that trended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

MarieSucre:
Quit generalizing. It gets tiring.

Do you know why Martin Luther King used nonviolence as his platform for the campaign for equal rights for blacks. It was because then there were also those who advocated for violence and carried out violent acts against whites and tried to use their vicrimhood as a justification for it. Does Malcolm X ring a bell? But does that mean that we write off the Civil Rights movement or that their grievances are not valid? Or that we should stop fighting for their rights.

Even today, there are many in the society and on the online community that believe that blacks pull the racism card far too often and are content to remain in victimhood. Again does that render invalid their grievances?

Nigerians are masters of victimhood. More than 50 years after the British have left, we still blame them for all our woes.

If you want to support Civil rights. Support it. If you want to support Equal rights. Support It. Stop nit-picking other people's arguments. Its time for you to pick.

Ceeesaw
misspicy
Moana

Tallesty1:
You will also make many mistakes if you try to judge Nigerian men by Topics that made front page.

Issues like that gives the highest traffic to celebrity and gossip blogs so they cook up some stories just to get traffic.

I am not in any way trying to present men as angels, hell NO.

I just want you to understand that anything a man can do, a woman can do it even better.

My teacher back then died from a kick that his wife placed on his groin.

What cause the fight?

Because he bathed with the water that wife wanted to use to bathe.

Did I say that all women are kunfu fighters looking for a husband to kick his balls?

NO.

I have made my point and I won't force you to agree with em but I want you to be fair in judgement.

My mother enjoyed and is still enjoying her marriage, my late sis enjoyed her own too, of all my married uncles, only one is complaining, my brother's marriage is not the best but they get along all the time so it is impossible to convince me that woman live in slavery and bondage.

Write from experience not online sources.

PuciPrince:
For the sake of feminism, my ex expects us to do the dishes together when we get married.

Like seriously?

Tallesty1:
Tell her that the reason women foots are shorter than that of men is so that they can stand closer to the sink

Don't take me serious there.

Doing dishes, cooking, cleaning the house and washing clothes can be done by the two parties when there is genuine love, respect and understanding.

But the problem is that women always ask for more.

I could remember when I was serving my boss who's also a relation of mine.

When the wife gave birth to their first child, I asked the man to allow me to goan help the woman in the kitchen and other "baby" stuffs until her mother arrives.(neighbours do come to help her at times but they are not always available) he agreed but guess what happened when her mother came?

She wanted me to continue running errands like a boy of 11 for her.

Tallesty1:
Listen.

I won't take down No2.


Maggi alone does not make a soup sweet but it contributes to the good taste the food will have when it's ready.

Same thing with salt and pepper but remove the three at once and you have a pot of crap instead soup.

People who had their first sex on their wedding night have greater chance of enjoying successful marriage compared to other bleepers.

MarieSucre:
Quit generalizing. It gets tiring.

Do you know why Martin Luther King used nonviolence as his platform for the campaign for equal rights for blacks. It was because then there were also those who advocated for violence and carried out violent acts against whites and tried to use their vicrimhood as a justification for it.
Ceeesaw
misspicy
Moana

Tallesty1:
Could you please read the question that I was trying to answer?

It is no longer part of my main thread.

jcmaiah:
Just as every citizen has equal rights, not every citizen are of equal ranks. The husband was ordered to head the family and their is nothing you or anybody can do to change that. America tried and their system is a mess.

MarieSucre:
And you got the scientifically accurate-worldwide vetted information from credible and independently verifiable sources?

MarieSucre:
In other words you asked every single person who did not get married to their first sexual partner.

MarieSucre:
And you found out that their marriage is all in shambles. Their future broken. And they all have one way tickets to hell fire.

MarieSucre:
Well if Tallesty says it. Then it must be true.

anwo247:
You didn't disagree with the OP, you actually agreed. Misunderstood feminism, is a kind of feminism. A lot more are even practicing this kind than what it should be. Educating men and women equally is good enough but that would never convert a man to a woman. Marriage is between a man and a woman and not fellow women. In an effort to explain this natural creation to women, they see the men as bossy. How can the house girl ebthe one that will serve my food? Monday to Friday and spilling into weekends? I would rather remain bachelor.... some demand that you cook for them; try to marry me so i will be cooking for you in the name of equal rights!

The marriage of our parents were so successful because the women agreed to be women. And I asked my mum if she was happy with my dad or she was busy enduring him, she said she was very happy living with a man who is a man. Dad left 15yrs ago to the great beyond and mum still talks about him like daily basis even at 86yrs old! Feminism has robbed women of successful marriages.

PuciPrince:

Good, those are basics. But where do we draw the line between to know when these basics become luxurious. I know of women who want to attend ceremonies and would buy aso-ebi of 50k like 3times in 2months and require their husbands to provide this. Will this be termed basics?

if she can afford it whats stopping her? why is she independent, if her husband cannot provide it nothing she can do about it

As for feeding, why will anyone marry a man who cant provide her food

it is not about what a man can do or cannot do,it is about the resources available to do this things,which the woman is trying to boost by helping whether she likes it or not unless she wants to go hungry,yet is she not entitled to get help with her own duty too?

Shelter, you want to live in lekki while your husband can only afford houses in iyana ipaja

if she can help provide the house whats stoping her..does that mean her husband should not help her too?

On a monthly basis, if he agrees to give you 30k to take care of your basic needs (shelter and feeding exclusive - he provides that) and sets up a little business for you, is that enough so you can take your full responsibilities as a wife and mother?

to me if a man can adequately provide for his family...i dont think the woman should request any help from him in the home department because that is her duty and she has all the time in the world to do it because she is not working



to me men are against feminism in the family just because of their egocentric nature eg...

a man will say how me go dey cook,how my wife no go wash my cloth,how my wife go say make house girl cook my food...lubbish




BTW, who is a flirt

MarieSucre:
I notice there is a lot of fear here about "converting men to women" but not about converting "women to men".

Correct if I'm wrong pls, your comment is implying that it is a no-no if men take up traditional roles assigned to women like house chores including, cooking and catering for the children but a woman can and in the recent economic dispensation MUST get a job and contribute money to the family's up keep which is a traditionally male role?

Women can be take up male roles but men should never take up female roles. Got it!!! That makes total sense. /s

repogirl
Ceeesaw
misspicy
Moana
Phema
cococandy
neocortex
bukatyne

MarieSucre:
Civil rights movement has never been for equality bro.

It is about improving the lives and statuses of blacks by degrading the lives and statuses of whites. The civil rights for blacks concept of “equality” only serves to provide a framework for blacks alone, and to brainwash other unfortunate people, especially whites, to support it.

Every blackman I have met who called himself a civil right activist was also secretly racist. All of them.

Ever tried to mention white's inequalities to a black who is a rights activist? He will call you a racist xenophobic white for Black civil activists just supports and fights for superiority of blacks to white nothing else.

Have you ever wondered why, in racism cases, the blacks gets to cry to the public and the whites gets to be the EVIL racist ? Ever wondered why, when a white policeman beats up a black guy, he is arrested for excessive use of force, but when a black guy beats up a white man he is only JUST arrested Equality My Foot.

How can black civil rights claim equality when thesame Martin Luther King like ideology under the guise of promoting equality, has succeeded in bringing bias back into the legal system by arguing that blacks have been far more oppressed by whites for far too long hence not equal to whites in societal standings and should not be treated as such under the law.

Double standard everywhere.

Sha, whether they in or out for equality doesn't really matter to me but the fact that some people under the cover of civil rights for blacks destroy the society is a good reason to add it in my write up.


Self note---- *gasp* just imagine a society where we are treated with equal respect and consideration. What are those stupid blacks and of course WOMEN thinking. They are trying to bring change and we all know change is always bad. /s

PuciPrince:
Hain! Housegirl cook for me?

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I stated in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought for equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something that was right, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide missions, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that trended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

misspicy:
you dey mind them...bunch of inconsiderate amd egocentric men.....

and they are wicked too because i know God created a woman as a weaker vessel not a super being

otiigba1:
If una no like am, make una/ all of us turn gay/lesbians. Case closed! and all this feminism wahala go stop. Shikena! Na joke i dey joke o!

otiigba1:
i have been expecting you. With your men hating and generalising attitude, for some reason you seem to exclude your father and brothers from inconsiderate and egocentric wicked MEN!

Learn not to GENERALISE!

misspicy:
I think some Nigerian men are just been egocentric and inconsiderate, why?

misspicy:
1)an average man today will say he wants an independent woman,a woman who can provide her own needs a also assist in the running of the home

misspicy:
2)for a woman to be independent she need to work in the same working conditions her partner is working yest she is expected to get back to her duties as a woman which should be top priority anyways

misspicy:
3)an average nigerian man is not willing to assist this same woman with this duties of hers because it is her duty and not his duty

to me this is where feminism come to play...why can't this same man who wants a woman to help provide basic needs of the family also help this woman do her duties as a woman by doing simply house chores like cooking,some men ask that why shoulsld a maid cook their food...please is a woman a super being?

misspicy:
i dont blame a man who wants to wife an independent woman because the economy is not helping matters and so this has become a neccesity....

Tallesty1:
Which research have you seen that involved world vetted information from credible sources?

It is not necessary. If 2 out of hundred are complaining here then it is safe to conclude that 2 out a hundred are complaining somewhere. That's how such researches are carried out.

I will like to see where I said that all their marriages are in shambles, their future broken and their eternity will be spent in hell before I will reply you.If Tallesty says or when I say that Tallesty said?

Ceeesaw
misspicy
Moana
Phema
cococandy

You don carry cocoacandy enter here?


Happy Sunday cocobaby

Tallesty1:
Yea........... We can only touch the major causes because what is a tradition here can be a taboo there.


A guy once broke up with a girl for farting in his house.