BodyKiss:


Maybe you should do more reading outside Nairaland to get answer to that. I see many people asking this same question over and over again. She's responded to answer like this, plus many plausable answers from other people why she kept going back.

batulakarada:

This is a 17 year old girl who was been threatened with incriminating pictures ...who thought she was in love ....can you recount how many silly things you did as a child ?

batulakarada:

Yes it does because I remember when I ran away from home at 17 thinking I was gonna be a movie star .
Truth be told people do a lot of stupid things at that age ,the fact you were already wise then doesn't give you a right to critic others who did .That is if you were .

batulakarada:

Yes it does because I remember when I ran away from home at 17 thinking I was gonna be a movie star .
Truth be told people do a lot of stupid things at that age ,the fact you were already wise then doesn't give you a right to critic others who did .That is if you were .

Alphaoscar:







running away at 17 is not same as been senseless to the point of going back and begging the guy that raped you to please give you more.

Which brings us back to Warden -- and anyone who's ever wondered what an abuse victim derives from staying. It's giving into this very thought -- they must like this -- that creates one more barrier to the abused being able to leave. It makes the world simpler, no doubt, for us to indulge this theory. We feel safer. "That couldn't happen to me," we can say. "I'd never put up with it." But the research proves anyone can end up abused. And blaming the victims in this way is a huge part of the problem. It reinforces their shame.

Victim-blaming is dangerous enough that, in summarizing the conclusions (link is external) of hundreds of studies on domestic violence, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services cites, as a barrier to ending domestic violence, the brute fact that "peers, family members, and others in the community (e.g., coworkers, social service-providers, police, or clergy) minimize or ignore the abuse and fail to provide consequences." Instead of condemning the abuse, people around the victims often simply admonish them with "What do you expect if you choose to stay?"

While Warden's right that legislation alone isn't the answer, reducing consequences to the perpetrator certainly isn't, either. Minimizing the nature of the crime sends the wrong message to everyone: It's no big deal. It wouldn't happen if you didn't stay. It makes the abused want to hide their pain, and when that happens -- when their plight remains invisible -- they have no hope at all of leaving.

The reality of abuse is far more complex. As a culture, we must grapple with the fact that many of us agree with some version of what Warden says -- that the victim is to blame for their abuse when they choose to stay. Sadly, even the abused can start to believe the explanation. But making Warden a scapegoat for our own ignorance won't change any of this. Only educating ourselves will.

Beremx:
so what was her reason of going back?

Ishilove:
Liar liar pants on fire.

I didn't expect him to admit it because a rapist will not admit he is one. Your old sins have caught up with you, Mustapha Audu.

In a sane country he would have been picked up for questioning but Nigeria is anything but sane.

Beremx:
the same question I asked o!
And someone is telling me she just have to stick to the guy.

Imagine the nonsense?

batulakarada:
When oby Ezekwesili who knows you in and out and even know you are a close friend to her children believes the story immediately without asking questions ...I think the verdict of the story has been given .

Beremx:
well at 17,I just finished secondary school and while i waited to get admission into the university, as the first child of the family,I was helping my mum in her shop. Thinking of a relationship at that age was the least of my problem.

So you see,I didn't do anything that would bring shame to my parents at that age.

Alphaoscar:


The girl was 17 them but she was already a spoilt fish at that age . you guys talk as if been 17 equals been foolish and senseless. She was the one going back for more when the guy was obviously trying to avoid her.


She accused the guy of raping her with his friends but the content of the mails shows she's the one flirting with his friends and the was upset with .

BuddhaPalm:


No mind them. She wants us to believe that the same guy who took offence that you flirted with his friends, passed her around to be gang-raped - earlier.

BodyKiss:


Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness. The FBI's Hostage Barricade Database System shows that roughly eight percent of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes "strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other."[4] One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory. It suggests that the bonding is the individual's response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be perceived as a threat.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome



My take on this is that her case sound very plausable and should not be taken likely. The case should be taken to court, and which ever party, Sugabelly or Mustapha is found guilty should face the punishment for the crime.

BuddhaPalm:


No mind them. She wants us to believe that the same guy who took offence that you flirted with his friends, passed her around to be gang-raped - earlier.

Alphaoscar:






some people are only interested in making sure that the guy is punished for no reason . This is the first time I ever hear that rape victims stick with the person that abused them.

Rape victims normally avoid guys and stay away from anything sex not the other way round .

If the guy didn't rape her to sleep with her the first time why will he rape her later in the relationship when she even admit the guy keep many girls and hardly have her time?


Since the guy start talking and released some of their conversations have you seen her talking again?

dBard:
Nigerians..
The same people here that got beat up, Ana.lly poked, got treated like porn stars, did abortions, stole, rimmed ass and all that ish and with a smile and thank you, Because They Were In Love/Infatuated, are all here now casting stones with their leprosed hands, conveniently forgetful.

We have almost all bin 'Stupid in love'.....so all u self righteous folks can go stick it in d nearest black hole.

I for one, ain't going to justify the crime because of the person.

Y'all forget, this same sugabelly, had bin on NL eons ago n had a thread about abusive relationships...190 I believe commented, so wats making the story false

I s.m.h f y'all

maupe:
All these Game of Thrones people are watching as movies now, I read them as books like ten years ago. Knights of Shallaman, Wheel of Time, Lord of the Rings, Inheritance Cycle, many many books I read years ago and there were very few people who knew these things.

Not even up to two months. I found out she was sleeping with my friends. She slept with a couple of my friends. I discovered and told her about it. She told me she loved me, she wanted to marry me and was madly and deeply in love with me

While we were in the relationship, she had told me things about her mum, that she hated her mum, her mum wasn’t there for her and stuff like that. She sent me an email once making reference to her having visions of violent rape the first time that we had something physically

On one occasion then when we spoke on the phone, she said I shouldn’t abandon her, and then she told me that her mum’s boyfriend raped her. She said a lot of negative things about her mum.

Because she knows human beings are emotional and sentimental. Play on their intelligence. Play on the fact that women have been raped before and for us men, we hardly speak up. I am not saying men are angels. I’m not saying I am an angel

It’s fame. It’s simple. Fame. She has skills and in her heart, she’s found out that you know what?

This guy is manipulative, sick and in need of psychological therapy. In sugabelly's tweets, irrespective of the Indecency details, her story was straight to the point, with no literary additives. But just look at this guys comments, you hear books, game of thrones. It's like he is trying to compete with her for who can tell the smartest and most intelligent tale. He describes her as an avid reader, a western oriented individual and so. This shows that she must till this day, be his greatest catch, he is still obsessed with her, and if given the chance, would rape her again. His story is so incredulous, and is intended to paint him as an INTELLIGENT victim.

dBard:
Nigerians..
The same people here that got beat up, Ana.lly poked, got treated like porn stars, did abortions, stole, rimmed ass and all that ish and with a smile and thank you, Because They Were In Love/Infatuated, are all here now casting stones with their leprosed hands, conveniently forgetful.

We have almost all bin 'Stupid in love'.....so all u self righteous folks can go stick it in d nearest black hole.

I for one, ain't going to justify the crime because of the person.

Y'all forget, this same sugabelly, had bin on NL eons ago n had a thread about abusive relationships...190 I believe commented, so wats making the story false

I s.m.h f y'all

biafranqueen:
http://www.livescience.com/8202-women-stay-abusive-relationships.html

batulakarada:
Was the lady a nympho ?
Yes
Was she stupid ?
Yes
Was Sugabelly raped?
Yes yes and yes .
From this interview you can see that this guy is nothing but a very manipulative sicko and I pity anyone defending him .

batulakarada:

Maybe he was angry because he didn't initiate it ...posseive like audu will pick offence if they are not the one commanding u to be abused .

biafranqueen:

http://www.byui.edu/counseling-center/self-help/abusive-relationships
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201303/why-do-people-stay-in-abusive-relationships
http://www.destinyconnect.com/2014/07/01/why-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships/

maupe:
This guy, with every word that comes out of his mouth, confirms that he is indeed a rapist, a sexual predator and a very disturbed person. The problem with sexual offenders is that they think they are smarter than everyone, especially their victims and the audience of their victims. It's so obvious that he manipulated the poor girl all through out the relationship, and is in fact responsible for who the girl is today. Look at how he has created another character ( mom's bf) to cast aspersions on. He mentioned violent rape, this shows that he is still relishing the sexual violence, and was thinking of it, and getting off on it, as he created his story. The first thing that rapists do( stupid) is to blame the victim, for their own actions. Things like she wanted it, she wore clothes like a wh0re, she was sleeping around. Rapists will tell everyone, including themselves anything to justify and hide their actions.
Mustapha, I would suggest you get psychological help from a professional, because it is obvious you not only hate your late mom, but you have transferred your aggression towards her, to other women, who remind you of her. You are a sick sexual predator.

DevilhimseIf:
Mustafa is bastard rapist in a sane country bastards like him should be cooling off in jail

olu4life:
I am so furious at the way most of us reason.

We have let sentiments cloud our sense of reasoning #CommonSense should prevail.

Firstly, u all said a woman in abusive relationship won't easily back down. Now please pin point to me the abusive part from the emails exchanged, cos the last time ichecked it was the guy who accused her of cheating with his friends in which she apologised, once again tell me where the abusive came in. And don't gimme d crap of siting situation of a married woman with that of a teen. Don't forget they were both young.

Secondly, have u gone through her posts to see loads of distorted craps? A NLder even helped to pinpoint it to us all, where she claimed 2 different scenes of gang rape. Once again, where is ur #CommonSense

Also, why would some stupid people think a lady of 17yrs isn't matured. Like seriously,this happened in 2007. We all know children of then weren't kids, so spare me d stupid talk of saying she was manipulated at her age, u must be stupid to think that way.

Furthermore, why do people easily side a lady in this kind of situation despite seeing loads of evidence. Or u wanna tell me that d emails were photoshopped? At least thank God she's didn't claim it was.

Lastly, have u noticed her silence since d release of d emails? Or she's just too dumbfounded to forget such chats could be retrieved.

By d way, she never said she was disvirgined, once again pls tell me if this was her first time of having sex cos I know it would have made a strong point if she was actually disvirgined by d guy

With these points, I drop my pen #ImOut

Cc tonyebarcanista beremx ishilove etc