₦airaland Forum

kelvyn7:
@samocholi

this story is really baffling

please I wud like to ask how long you both dated b4 marriage?

RedCapChief:
Yes that is the wise thing to do. Get both family members involved and lay your complaints in a respectful way. All the best.

somez:
Mumu, what is ur contribution and ur summerizing.

Fadiga15:
Nowadays ?? Guy, you be learner

damola1:
pussssy, fccuk up man, always reporting to the pastor and family until you lost your livelihood! stupid mofo!

A man must always have drinking friends, cool friends.. it's better to be feared than loved!....

Why do people always mis interpret religious people for good personality standards?...

The people that are mostly religious in the first place are religious cos, they are trying to fix something!... trying..!!!!!!...

I don't like religious folks.

Also, you want to have a marriage and you cannot invest time on it.. you can change jobs.. but a marriage... man...

Only lesson I learnt from this is not to tolerate bulllshit from the onset, you don't want something change it.. include human being... life is short.. enjoy it!..not tolerate it.

kweenkong:
Women deceiving since time immemorial with church going and religion. Men and women should learn ways to test integrity and personality of there intending.

To your story your in laws are not ashamed begging and attending such mediation. I trust my people, I am on my own.

If all you have said is true I commend your patience but you made a whole lot of mistakes.

For both men and women people should learn to deal with issues decisively. It is your life and only you can take a decision. Both the pastor are not been fair to you.
From your story she is an adulteress, a quarrelsome woman, a fetish one hmmm
The only thing she has not been accused of is stealing.

Your life takes priority

Tallesty1:
You don't value your life bro

misspicy:
Catlova come and see wife material

GodnGold:
I have a similar case,very similar.
Op,I will ask you one question,
Is there anything left to salvage in that relationship?
If you are a Christian,the bible endorses divorce on adultery grounds.
So except you want her to poison u slowly till 31st Dec,
Run!!!
what I say man?
Run!!!
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned "
But by the way,you played the victim too well
Are you that perfect?
Cos after many years of marriage,i know that no one is perfect.
We just got Jesus all up in our system.
That's the way forward.
God bless you and keep you.

orezimena28:
Trust that her cultist boyfriend that died would have been beating her 100%. This kind of girls don't need soft hand. Na better kpo kpo. She go maintain! Op no get hand to kill her too? Match her FIRE for FIRE! Give her close marking! Give belle join sef!

Jaguda sef dey get Oga!!!

Horlufemi:
Fake your death. start over. thank me later.

dlox147:
as a man, I can boldly say you have taken enough and have done your best to see that your marriage to her works.

My advice to you will be, to dissolve the marriage so you can move on. She obviously is not in love with you and is paying back for the sins of others.

If you continue with this marriage, it will not end well as you may loose your life to her or some other way sooner than expected. Like someone suggested, leave her and move to a different state and start a new life.
I lost a close friend to a similar situation, he got stabbed in the heart by his wife while he was sleeping so my bro be careful. That's a link to my friend's memorial page to prove..
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=129379300467748&tsid=0.43433445133268833&source=typeahead

samocholi:
Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank. I used to work in operations and hardly have time to truly search for a wife that is what I thought back then.so I had this collegue of mind who appears responsible and is also a church worker in a responsible church,not all these money making churchs.so I confided in him , so one day he came to me that he has this lady where he normally goes to worship atimes that he will take me to meet her ,that she is God fearing ,a church worker and her father is a pastor in one of the northern states,which he did and introduced us and gradually we started dating,


I even took her to see my parent.to their amazement she woke up around 4am and swept and cleaned the house before we could even wake up for morning prayers.when my Dad saw this he was really please and was like this truly is wife material.but my Mum was like don’t conclude oh as per girls of nowadays that we should keep praying.at first I wanted us to do our traditional marriage in April 2012 and after that white wedding but she started indirectly pressuring me that we should do trad in August and white in November,2011.i thot about it,and with my naïve mind said to myself that since she seems nice and am ready to marry.


I agreed and we got married in 2011.we did both court and church marriage.immediatly we came back from honey moon my life has been one hell of a life or another.it began when my former collegue in the bank sent her sister to bring her cv to me incase we are recruiting so that I can submit for her.so the lady called later to thank me for the assistance and my wife was with me in the sitting room.it was around 7-8pm.after the call my wife started quarreling,that who is that lady calling me that am cheating on her,she went inside the room and brought out our wedding cert.that she will tear it and that we should go our separate ways.i became shocked ,I then told her that she can take the lady’s number or I can call the lady in her presence.that I don’t even know the lady. I did not even have the lady number in my phone,the lady collected my number to follow up and that is all.



I left her with my phones and entered the room.this was happening barely a month and a half after our wedding.as the days go by she started bringing different quarrels and problem.after like a year two month into the marriage,one faithful Friday night after I came back from work and I was fast asleep she woke me up around 11pm that we should talk.and I told her that if we can leave it till morning knowing fully well that the next day was satuday unless if the matter is btw life and death then I can wait.she said it is not btw life and death and was insisting that we talk before I knew it she brought out a knife and wanted to stab me so I manage to collect the knife and threw it into the wordrobe.


By then the sleep in my eyes cleared immediately and I was like what is the matter what is wrong or what wrong have I done to her,my people up till tofday she has not given me an answer.so she stood there speechless so I assume all is well then as I was going tom bed she took one of her high heel and struck me behind my head I fell down and went blank.after a while I woke up and saw her looking at me.so I got up and entered my car with blood all over me to her uncle’s house and showed them and told them what happened.before I continue we live in Abj,so the uncle called her parent and her mum came to Abj the next day.before then I had written and taken my divorce letter to the pastor that am not doing again.


After that the pastor and her people intervened and talked to her. I went to that my colleague that introduced her to me that what does he know about her that I may not know so he said she told him in confidence that she was in cult in the university and that her boyfriend then was the capon.she also told him that the boy friend was shot in school then and died in her arms.when I confronted her she down played everything and wanted to pick a quarrel,so that one died down.


Before I continue,am a banker ,and my wife has a boutique that she sells men wears in Abj. She hardly laughs but b4 we got married she was always laughing.i havs severally asked her what the matter is but she will say it is nothing. Before now I did not know that my wife is a runs girl,after our baby’s birth in Dec 2012 my wife went and did family planning without my consent,it was in the evening when the stuf started disturbing her that I got to know. In August last year that is 2014,I was watching news when she came back by 9:30pm,she started making it a habit of coming late in 2014 and that has caused serious quarrel btw us. So when she came in she droped her phone on the center table and went inside to take her shower.as I was watching the television I now said let me go through her gallery because she likes taking pictures.after that I now checked her messages.i was shocked what I saw.

She sent a text to a married man,saying that she cursed him with the sperm he pured inside her and the man said it was mutual that she is the one came to his house to collect money for the shoes and shirts he bought,he also said he will curse her with his children’s life that she is not the only one that has a child and insisted that it was mutual.at that point my hands started shaking and before I know I she jumped out of the bathroom with soap on her body to take her phone.immediatly she came to the sitting room and saw me with her phone she frozed for like 15seconds not knowing what to say after that I asked her who is the man and she said that I was one of her friends from owerri that used her phone to chat the man.

when I checked the chat history it was not just one day chat it spans four days becos the chat was very lengthy. So I was pissed off, I reported the issue to the pastor where we got married and he down play it that she cannot do such a thing..
My wife has quarreled with all my neighbours in my compound of 8 flat,she has also quarreled with our security guards at the gate to the extent that they have refused to wash her car.On 25 of dec 2014 after returning from the church my wife spreed her cloth under the sun and my neighbour’s puppy came and played with the cloth and tore part of it.the next day she went to tell then but she did not grt a good response so she went behind and boiled hot water and pured on the puppy. My neighbor’s wife went and call police for her the next day being Sunday.but their aim is to keep her in cell till Monday to teach her a lesson.unknown to them my uncle is a top police officer so I called him and we were able to bail her putting Monday date.since then small thing my wife will start saying things that she is suspecting me , that am having am affair.i now told her how,she now said a man that does not drink alcohol and does not smoke will surely womanise.i then asure her that I have done nothing of such.and truly since I married her four years ago I have never looked at any woman aside her.

To cut a long stry short,February this year as usual during valentine I to her to a shop and asked her to pick whatever she wants.then she picked cloths and shoes worth 70k and I paid. After that February ending I usually give her 50k for upkeep so tha day I had keep the 50k but there was a plumbing problem that I had to take 5k out of it to solve so I gave her 45k promising to bring the balance home or I credit her,and that faithful morning we were having a meeting in which a top official is coming from head office and my head of operations was nor around so I was sitting in for her.

so I asked my wife to help me take our daughter to sch that day as I have to rush to the office b4 time. After giving my wife the 45k she threw it on the floor that it is not enough and started insulting me that what kind of useless job is that ,unknown to me she had gone and locked the entrance door and taken the key,as I was about to go out I discovered that the door was lock,so I called her aunte to talk to her,as she was on the phone with the aunt I went through the back door. As I was about to drive out I saw my wife rushing to close the gate with only pant and singlet,I mean pant and singlet not bump hort or rapper.i was surprise,but before she could close the gate I had already passed she now took a big stone and stared running after the car.
she threw the stone at my suv ,it sounded like a bomb very loud.at first I did not know what happened untill I saw her running towards the car so I stoped,she now came held my side mirrow and started breaking it so I had to drive off. I was devasted and could not make it to work,so I called someone in the office that I won’st be able to make it to the office that am having some issues at home.


She went back to the house and called my Dad that if I come back she will kill me.so my Dad called me and I explained to him immediately what happened. so he said I should not go back home that day, I went and slept in a hotel In town .so the next day her mum came and I went home.Now it is not that am afraid of her but because I respect women and will not want to beat ofr fight her,I am far biger and taller than her if I decide to cough she will vanish so is not that am afraid of her am only respecting the marriage institution. When I got home the second day to resume work the third day I discovered that she had tore all my cloths,my shirt both office and casuals,all my suit including my wedding suit,.so I had nothing to wear the next day.so I missed work wednesdy,Thursday and Friday,during all these happening I have been in touch with my office and told them am having some family issues and could not make it to work.



I resumed the next Monday to work and everything seem to be going well, then on Tuesday I got a sack letter from human resources of the bank.unkonwn to me. the new manager that was posted to my branch got a querry for myself and the head of operations not being around for the initial meeting. so he was angry and he wrote to the bank’s human resources and when they checked that I was not logged on for the three days I was sacked,all because of my wife.most times she sends abusive texts messages to me while in the office.For instance if am attending to customers and she is calling and I did not pick on time she will now send a nasty text that I delibertly don”t want to pick her calls.i have even told her to come and see how we work in my office.so since march am yet to get any serious thing to do.
I January I had 2.5m I paid our rent 1m and part pay for a land 1m and the remaining 500k lasted us from march till june.as usual with banks I was not paid anything.so when my savings finished in june the major financial burden fell on her,with little coming from me now.Since then my wife has made my life a living hell with all sorts of insult. For example in November,there was nothing in the house so she went to southern fries and bought rice and chicken for herself,then bought a watery oha soup with out meat that I should make garri and eat with it.it was when I wanted to microwave it that I discovered that it was watery and has no meat.i did not say anything.


Most times I stay back at home unless I have an appointment or an interview just not to spend unnecessary .so I was checking one of the cupboard in our room and I saw somethings she got from a native doctor,they include a bottle of concosion with the label witches and wizards destroying oil,the second one was two of her bathing soap with burnt candle on it when I looked at the soap closely I saw small cross buried inside,the third thing I saw was the complimentary card of the native doctor.All these things I just mentioned are real and I have their pictures that I snapped.i picked them and went to her uncle’S place to show him and he was mad,he immediately called her parent to come to Abj immediately and I called my parent to come becos I told them I don’t want the marriage again. Both parties came and the meeting lasted from 5pm to 12 mid nite and continued again the next day.

she could not defend her sellf and I said am not doing again and everyone started beging that I should give her one more chance.and it seems the issues was resolved.i started my investigation and discovered that unknown to me my wife is a runs girl even b4 I married her and after marriage she continued .that is why she went and did family planning without my knowledge so that she can be sleeping with me with out condom.and this days she dresses sugestivly.i have reported to the pastor ,her parent about her dressing but she has not changed.presently she is fighting with a lady in her former church the lady is a leader in the church.she said the lady has been attacking her in the dream and anytime they lady sees her the lady calls her prostitute.She told me that the lady is sleeping with her pastor.My wife has bad mouth and insult at every provocation,she hadly laughs always moody but when some kind of men call her she will be laughing as if tomorrow no dey.

Today being Christmas as we were preparing to go to church,she was noW feeding our daughter who just turned 3 last week.becos the baby was being slow to eat she started shouting that if the baby does not eat quikly that she will injure her.when I heard that I came and told her that such statement to a baby is not good,I have cautioned her severally not to be telling the baby that she will injure her.because there was a day I was playing with our baby and the baby was telling me that she will injure me.so becos of that I cautioned her.that was all,instead of her to take corrections she started insulting me.that am useless,that the whole burden is on her that she regrets marrying me.that she will surprise me one of these days.


My dear brothers and sisters in the house especially the married ones I frankly need ur candid advise as I am tired of her ,her bad and unrepentant character and her evil ways but am only looking at the term Christian marriage in terms of divorce as I ultimately want to make heaven just as every one.

Thank u for taking ur time to go through my ordeal.

samocholi:
My dear brothers and sisters in the house especially the married ones I frankly need ur candid advise as I am tired of her ,her bad and unrepentant character and her evil ways but am only looking at the term Christian marriage in terms of divorce as I ultimately want to make heaven just as every one.

Thank u for taking ur time to go through my ordeal.