₦airaland Forum

MRBrownJ:
self control?! you mean pretence to be who you are not?! who needs that?! i want my woman to lose control with me and be HERSELF at all time.

sense of decency?! its called being COMFORTABLE with who you are as person. why fake it?!



i dont know about you, but I want to know every single desire/fantasies that my partner has... because thats the only way i can possibly help her fulfill them (aka have a rewarding/satisfying sexual life). i certainly wouldnt want a woman that is ashamed of what turns her on, and therefore pretend to be who she isnt, in order to fit in or whatever.

btw her past is part of who she is TODAY, and knowing what she has been through can help understanding/dealing with her better.

Having self-control doesn't amount to pretence. Self-control teaches us that we must indulge in everything we feel like doing. It's not pretence. Let's take for instance, In the course of a heated argument, one of the parties might feel like picking up a knife to stab the other out of anger. That would be cold-blooded murder. But self-control would tell him not to, because it isn't right and the consequences will definitely follow. Would u then call him pretentious for refusing to commit murder?

Sense of decency. Oh, yes. What's there about being comfortable with being highly promiscuous? Sleeping with both married and unmarried men numbering up to 60sth. That's a screwed up life. No sane person should be comfortable doing that. I doubt porn stars even feel totally comfortable with their job.

Knowing about ur partner's sexual fantasies and what turns her on is totally fine. But not when they are embroiled in such a sordid past. U want ur woman to lose control with you, fine. But she should have waited to lose it all with that one person, rather than the 60sth she did that with. She can have fantasies, but it's plain senseless going about experimenting them with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Wait a minute, I don't even get how a person's fantasies can lead to such promiscuity.

A decent lady isn't necessarily ashamed of her sexuality and certainly not clueless about her sexual needs.


Having said all that, there's no harm in trying to know ur partner's past, but sometimes, certain things are better left in the past, because no matter what some ppl will never accept them and it could forever maim relationships that would have been perfect if details were avoided.

N:B. I haven't said she's not redeemable, though. Neither have I said she isn't deserving of a second chance, love and trust. Everybody deserves all that.

Oliviaarims:
Having self-control doesn't amount to pretence. Self-control teaches us that we must indulge in everything we feel like doing. It's not pretence.

when it comes to sexual matters, the minute you use words like "decency/self control etc", is the minute you would have failed... unless you wanna pretend to be someone that you aint (sexually). to each their own

Let's take for instance, In the course of a heated argument, one of the parties might feel like picking up a knife to stab the other out of anger. That would be cold-blooded murder. But self-control would tell him not to, because it isn't right and the consequences will definitely follow. Would u then call him pretentious for refusing to commit murder?

different subject completely.... off course, in this life, in some instance we all NEED self control and in others we shouldnt have any. sex is one of such instance where self control is counter productive for lovers.

Sense of decency. Oh, yes. What's there about being comfortable with being highly promiscuous YOURSELF?

FIXED

Sleeping with both married and unmarried men numbering up to 60sth. That's a screwed up life. No sane person should be comfortable doing that. I doubt porn stars even feel totally comfortable with their job.

that is your opinions and you are entitled to them, but obviously many women dont share your views and are having "much" more men passing through their legs, before getting married. as for p0rnstars, do you know any?! have you ever talked openly with any?! well, the majority are very comfortable doing what they do, very comfortable being nekkid in front of a camera, are NOT forced into doing what they are doing, and would do the same for free, if needs be. yes, "some" of them indulge in extreme acts (and some drug may be used) but its all about playing a role, just like Jim iyke playing a murderer, while he aint one.

i mean who are we kidding? why do you think women and men from all over the globe are gladly and FREELY undressing and having sex in front of their webcams? (check the site chaturbate as an example)

Knowing about ur partner's sexual fantasies and what turns her on is totally fine. But not when they are embroiled in such a sordid past. U want ur woman to lose control with you, fine. But she should have waited to lose it all with that one person, rather than the 60sth she did that with. She can have fantasies, but it's plain senseless going about experimenting them with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

again, pretence and dishonesty will get you nowhere in life.... so what you are saying is that a woman should have fantasies and fulfill them with only ONE person?! thats as crazy as searching to marry a virgin and expecting her to be experienced (in the bedroom) on your honeymoon!

Wait a minute, I don't even get how a person's fantasies can lead to such promiscuity.

thats because you are using your "rather limited" mind to judge her open minded one.... again a different lover every 2 months is NOTHING! pls, look around you.

A decent lady isn't necessarily ashamed of her sexuality and certainly not clueless about her sexual needs.

if she cant be honest about what she desires (aka her sexual needs and fantasies) or let her partner know about them, then she is useless to her lover who will never be able to satisfy this pretending woman.

Having said all that, there's no harm in trying to know ur partner's past, but sometimes, certain things are better left in the past, because no matter what some ppl will never accept them and it could forever maim relationships that would have been perfect if details were avoided.

perfect r/ship?! where?! so let me get this straight, a woman is a former runz gal, she get married to some dude lying/pretending about who she "really" is, and telling him he was her 1st (using the picture below) and they seemingly have a perfect r/ship. do you actually think that this is RIGHT, just because some desperate woman want to be married at all costs?! do you ever for once think of this guy who marry such gal? there are some informations that MUST be told before embarking in a serious r/ship or marriage. better learning before, and having the RIGHT to choose if you want to be with this woman or not, instead of learning through the grapevine that colleagues/friends used to "tap" your wifey because she was a former undercover ashewo...... its called being HONEST and accepting who you are, while standing proudly for the consequences of your actions.

N:B. I haven't said she's not redeemable, though. Neither have I said she isn't deserving of a second chance, love and trust. Everybody deserves all that.

what TRUST are you talking about when you want women to lie about who they really are?!

MRBrownJ:
when it comes to sexual matters, the minute you use words like "decency/self control etc", is the minute you would have failed... unless you wanna pretend to be someone that you aint (sexually). to each their own



different subject completely.... off course, in this life, in some instance we all NEED self control and in others we shouldnt have any. sex is one of such instance where self control is counter productive for lovers.



FIXED



that is your opinions and you are entitled to them, but obviously many women dont share your views and are having "much" more men passing through their legs, before getting married. as for p0rnstars, do you know any?! have you ever talked openly with any?! well, the majority are very comfortable doing what they do, very comfortable being nekkid in front of a camera, are NOT forced into doing what they are doing, and would do the same for free, if needs be. yes, "some" of them indulge in extreme acts (and some drug may be used) but its all about playing a role, just like Jim iyke playing a murderer, while he aint one.

i mean who are we kidding? why do you think women and men from all over the globe are gladly and FREELY undressing and having sex in front of their webcams? (check the site chaturbate as an example)



again, pretence and dishonesty will get you nowhere in life.... so what you are saying is that a woman should have fantasies and fulfill them with only ONE person?! thats as crazy as searching to marry a virgin and expecting her to be experienced (in the bedroom) on your honeymoon!



thats because you are using your "rather limited" mind to judge her open minded one.... again a different lover every 2 months is NOTHING! pls, look around you.



if she cant be honest about what she desires (aka her sexual needs and fantasies) or let her partner know about them, then she is useless to her lover who will never be able to satisfy this pretending woman.



perfect r/ship?! where?! so let me get this straight, a woman is a former runz gal, she get married to some dude lying/pretending about who she "really" is, and telling him he was her 1st (using the picture below) and they seemingly have a perfect r/ship. do you actually think that this is RIGHT, just because some desperate woman want to be married at all costs?! do you ever for once think of this guy who marry such gal? there are some informations that MUST be told before embarking in a serious r/ship or marriage. better learning before, and having the RIGHT to choose if you want to be with this woman or not, instead of learning through the grapevine that colleagues/friends used to "tap" your wifey because she was a former undercover ashewo...... its called being HONEST and accepting who you are, while standing proudly for the consequences of your actions.



what TRUST are you talking about when you want women to lie about who they really are?!

I couldn't find a single thing to agree with u on, this time around. And perhaps, u chose to misunderstand the point I'm making. Everybody has an obligation to be moral. It's not pretence. Striving to be a good person and do what's right as opposed to ur baser inclinations is no pretence, ass long as u really do want to be good. It's what everybody should be.. For everything, sexuality not excluded.



In the example u gave using the runs girl, I think u very much misunderstood what I had been trying to say earlier . She owes her partner the duty to tell him what she had been. That's basic enough. But the number of men she slept with, how much she was paid for each service, whether or not she had three-somes or foursomes, if she usually had sex hanging from a fan, bla bla are hurtful details that can be avoided. Such vivid descriptions are very unnecessary and may never leave her partner's head. If there holds any hope for a successful relationship, basic details are enough, except he insists.
That cannot be referred to as lying.

Suigeneris93:
Like seriously? Idonbilivit

Sugargeneris93 what do u not believe?

stag:
Sugargeneris93 what do u not believe?

That she was naïve, its just like dat Arab guy dat raped a teen and sed it was a mistake dat he fell and his manhood just slipped into her

Suigeneris93:
That she was naïve, its just like dat Arab guy dat raped a teen and sed it was a mistake dat he fell and his manhood just slipped into her

Sugargeneris93 the naivety I meant was that even the person she's confessing to probably has done worse

Suigeneris93:
As seen on "Get Captivated" by Jerome Onipede:

I recently fell in love with a lady who told me about her past life two days ago and it was a bad one indeed. She confessed that she has had sex with 65 men in her life and out of that number, 50 are married men. She is 31 years and according to her, she was doing this without condom. Worse still she said she even masturbates when chatting with me on the phone. After she made this confession, she told me that she is a born again christian now despite all she has done and is still doing


My question is, can one marry that kind of person who has a very wild libido and has broken many marriages?

her past is not a problem but the future, for me her libido is a big problem, that's why we have many cheating wives today, further more, it will be difficult to trust her.

stag:


Sugargeneris93 the naivety I meant was that even the person she's confessing to probably has done worse

Okay,so u mean she shld hv kept it a secret?

Teddeebear:
her past is not a problem but the future, for me her libido is a big problem, that's why we have many cheating wives today, further more, it will be difficult to trust her.

Okay