When the Heart bleeds,,,, and there is no one there,,,,,, when silent cries are made,,,,,, in the depth of the night,,,,, when the soul's desires,,,,,, echoes in the chambers of despair,,,,, then hope arises,,,,, and faith encourages,,,,, but in your eyes only will i see comfort.

Joseph1832, theagba,afroxyz, amberacious, flow1759, ayonbobo, ginaz, emulate99, eureka123, Nubian113, scholarincharge...... How do you guys see this it's my first time of putting it in the open

You did well. Next time, try and arrange your poem in stanzas and lines...

First of all, I'm Emaculate99.

Nice poem. I think Joseph has already said my mind. But let me ask, are you trying to achieve anyhing with that arrangement?

Love the words but your arrangement is a distraction. Use one coma and it will look more presentable. I'm a newbie and that's poetry 101 for you well done otherwise

Nubian113:
Love the words but your arrangement is a distraction. Use one coma and it will look more presentable. I'm a newbie and that's poetry 101 for you well done otherwise

LMFAO!.

emaculate99:
First of all, I'm Emaculate99.

Nice poem. I think Joseph has already said my mind. But let me ask, are you trying to achieve anyhing with that arrangement?

Emulate

joseph1832:
LMFAO!.

Warisdis

He is mocking us right

AlPeter:
When the Heart bleeds,,,, and there is no one there,,,,,, when silent cries are made,,,,,, in the depth of the night,,,,, when the soul's desires,,,,,, echoes in the chambers of despair,,,,, then hope arises,,,,, and faith encourages,,,,, but in your eyes only will i see comfort.

Its nice dear, thump up

Qaisar1:
Emulate

gay-sir

emaculate99:
gay-sir

lol.. Ema
E-mad

Qaisar1:

lol.. Ema

E-mad

.... See this boy ooo! it didn't go well sha! Ema doesn't end with D...

Sorry everyone i posted it using my phone which usually doesn't give room for paragraphs, that's why I use the commas. Thanks for your time

AlPeter:
Sorry everyone i posted it using my phone which usually doesn't give room for paragraphs, that's why I use the commas. Thanks for your time

How about I show you how to structure this poem?

joseph1832:
How about I show you how to structure this poem?

yea i will really love that

AlPeter:

When the Heart bleeds and there is no one there.
When silent cries are made in the depth of the night.
When the soul's desires echoes in the chambers of despair Then hope arises and faith encourages,
But in your eyes only will I see comfort.

This is it, now the poem is structured in quintain form, that is, five line poetry with a single stanza.

NOTE: In the 3rd line I didn't put a full stop because it will make the line run into the 4th line.

joseph1832:

This is it, now the poem is structured in quintain form, that is, five line poetry with a single stanza.

NOTE: In the 3rd line I didn't put a full stop because it will make the line run into the 4th line.

thanks a bunch

AlPeter:
thanks a bunch

You're very much welcome.

Wow.... dis is very nice