OK please I know nairalanders like bashing (maybe it gives plenty of likes) but I urge you to consider being in my shoes before commenting. Thanks

I met her during my school days (she was my course mate) and we dated. Though had break-ups and patch-ups just like every relationship but finally we were together for about a year. After graduation, we kept in touch because it became a distant relationship. I was open-minded that I can loose her anytime but I decided to stay positive. She on her own path, had same thought about me which she later revealed.

To cut the story short, she wedded December last year and she had told me about the guy and the wedding which I played cool with but was really heart-broken. We have been keeping in-touch via social media but early this month, I was opportuned to further my studies at her state of residence. I have been holding back the urge of letting her know I'm around because I really want to see her but don't want to interfere with a married couple. She wants to see me (not for any ulterior motive) but I don't want anything that can lead to marriage infidelity from her (because we can't tell when emotions start clouding judgments).

I just need advice if I should continue fighting this urge (because I know the extent I'm fighting it) or just see her formally. And if I see her formally, how can I control this??

Please advice...

my brother what is your problem sef.

Endtime love

May God deliver us all from the spirits of our exes.

cana882:
OK please I know nairalanders like bashing (maybe it gives plenty of likes) but I urge you to consider being in my shoes before commenting. Thanks

I met her during my school days (she was my course mate) and we dated. Though had break-ups and patch-ups just like every relationship but finally we were together for about a year. After graduation, we kept in touch because it became a distant relationship. I was open-minded that I can loose her anytime but I decided to stay positive. She on her own path, had same thought about me which she later revealed.

To cut the story short, she wedded December last year and she had told me about the guy and the wedding which I played cool with but was really heart-broken. We have been keeping in-touch via social media but early this month, I was opportuned to further my studies at her state of residence. I have been holding back the urge of letting her know I'm around because I really want to see her but don't want to interfere with a married couple. She wants to see me (not for any ulterior motive) but I don't want anything that can lead to marriage infidelity from her (because we can't tell when emotions start clouding judgments).

I just need advice if I should continue fighting this urge (because I know the extent I'm fighting it) or just see her formally. And if I see her formally, how can I control this??

Please advice...

the first thing you need to do is unfriend her from every social media outlet that you are connected on and then find your own woman to focus your attention on. The mere fact that she is married and you are aware already makes you a sinner because you are coveting another man's wife. you had your chance but blew it so now give someone else a chance at happiness and move on with your life

Cholls:
my brother what is your problem sef.

my brother, my problem is for someone who has experienced such before to council if I'm to continue avoiding or meet the lady formally. I just need to find peace somehow which I'm not getting

Delete her number from your phone. That's the only way out.

Your stupidity is dashing.

firstEVA:
May God deliver us all from the spirits of our exes.

a big AMEN to that sis!!!

If you really want to see her, see her together with her husband then i think your emotions won't rise

Cholls:
my brother what is your problem sef.

ask the guy oh, shey she don marry, why u no go marry her first? park for your lane ohh.

Drefan:
Your stupidity is dashing.

ha brother!! Your insults solves no problem

25omega:
the first thing you need to do is unfriend her from every social media outlet that you are connected on and then find your own woman to focus your attention on. The mere fact that she is married and you are aware already makes you a sinner because you are coveting another man's wife. you had your chance but blew it so now give someone else a chance at happiness and move on with your life

thanks bro for that.. never had my chance tho

cant you move on with your life and stop chasing another mans wife? when you bring curse on yourself you will then say its your fathers oracle that is doing you. Abegiii...

Love us not only blind but stvpid..


Mr op what do u stand to gain for hooking up wif her again?

its better u get over her, no go seperate wetin God don join together..

since u know that she might get emotional by ur presence pls keep off and go and find ur own wife..



NB : he who finds a wife not an Ex has found a good thing and obtains favour from God..

Eminentsaint:
If you really want to see her, see her together with her husband then i think your emotions won't rise

with her husband ke? Which husband on earth will see your ex with you? This is lame

my broda u r a fool

u no get prob seff u begin d shout helppp

#Jumpin chicken

my broda u r a fool

u no get prob seff u begin d shout helppp

#Jumpin chicken

OP exactly the same tin dat happened to me..... Me n my Ex broke up last 2yrs November ... Now she got married to a guy last yr December 25th... she's even carrying d guys baby now, buh I can't stop tinking abt her, same tin applies to her.... always calling me, telling me she still loves me.... I even ask her why did she allow herself to gt pregnant for d guy if really she loves me, she said d pregnancy happened suddenly n she couldn't abort it Dats y she agreed to marry d guy... I jus called her a day after d wedding n I told her dat we should stop calling ourselves, cos now she is sum1 else's wife, I wnt b happy if d same is been done to me.. she refused, I stopped picking her calls n I deleted her number..... not dat it was easy to do, buh its necessary I take dat step else I might regret it later...... so pls try n do same, jus delete all contacts with her n try n move on... u won't b apy if d same is been done to ur wife

valdes00:
OP exactly the same tin dat happened to me..... Me n my Ex broke up last 2yrs November ... Now she got married to a guy last yr December 25th... she's even carrying d guys baby now, buh I can't stop tinking abt her, same tin applies to her.... always calling me, telling me she still loves me.... I even ask her why did she allow herself to gt pregnant for d guy if really she loves me, she said d pregnancy happened suddenly n she couldn't abort it Dats y she agreed to marry d guy... I jus called her a day after d wedding n I told her dat we should stop calling ourselves, cos now she is sum1 else's wife, I wnt b happy if d same is been done to me.. she refused, I stopped picking her calls n I deleted her number..... not dat it was easy to do, buh its necessary I take dat step else I might regret it later...... so pls try n do same, jus delete all contacts with her n try n move on... u won't b apy if d same is been done to ur wife

this is the best comment tonight. Maybe because u had experience of what I'm experiencing. Really appreciate

Stop keeping in touch. Reply her with clipped messages, it will soon fade. Make yourself open to other girls and prospective relationships.
When you eventually fall out of love you will regret anything stupid you did with her

cana882:
this is the best comment tonight. Maybe because u had experience of what I'm experiencing. Really appreciate

Urw bro.... it wasn't easy for me also back den, even with my gf, I can't stop tinking abt my EX... cos we dated for 2yrs n 7mnths bfor I broke up with her, she didn't even offend me.... she begged n begged for us to cum back buh I refused... sumtimz I do tink my current gf jazz me so I could break up wit her cos I couldn't explain wot she did.... Even while dating her bf bfor she got pregnant, she still cum ova to the Ouse to check on me n we sumtims mak love..... now dat she is married, tins av changed..... wouldn't want sum1 else to hit on my wife

To stop thinking about her, bro go and do the same by getting hooked with someone

firstEVA:
with her husband ke? Which husband on earth will see your ex with you? This is lame

It is not lame. He isn't sure he can control his emotions if they both meet, it's best he does it way or just forget about his feelings for her and move on. Do you know what it means and how painful it would be if someone sleeps with your wife or husband?

Nikkyparadise:
my broda u r a fool


u no get prob seff
u begin d shout
helppp


#Jumpin chicken

I detest it when people like you start insulting someone you don't know just because he is voicing his problem. Are you still childish?

cana882:
ha brother!! Your insults solves no problem

I believe there is nothing we nairalanders can do to help this situation now.

But then, no love ever existed between the two of you, cause if it did, distance wouldn't have easily killed the passion you both shared. And she's now even married to someone else. See, by all means, you should severe all forms of communication with her abruptly. What were you expecting me to tell you? Meet with her, and probably rekindles the spark?

Just get busy, keep yourself engaged to something, anything and with time you'd get over it. Heartbreak doesn't kill, man.

dovelike:

I detest it when people like you start insulting someone you don't know just because he is voicing his problem. Are you still childish?

God bless you sis for that.. didn't even know how to reply him..

valdes00:

Urw bro.... it wasn't easy for me also back den, even with my gf, I can't stop tinking abt my EX... cos we dated for 2yrs n 7mnths bfor I broke up with her, she didn't even offend me.... she begged n begged for us to cum back buh I refused... sumtimz I do tink my current gf jazz me so I could break up wit her cos I couldn't explain wot she did.... Even while dating her bf bfor she got pregnant, she still cum ova to the Ouse to check on me n we sumtims mak love..... now dat she is married, tins av changed..... wouldn't want sum1 else to hit on my wife

bro your last statement says it all.. I even dated someone during service just to forget her because she had already started seeing her husband but just couldn't help thinking about her.. I have to forget her. I have to do this for our both future

all d best for u ooo.no waste ya time

Drefan:

I believe there is nothing we nairalanders can do to help this situation now.

But then, no love really ever existed between the two of you, cause if it did, distance wouldn't have easily killed the passion you both shared. And she's now married to someone else. See, by all means, you should severe all forms of communication with her abruptly. Just get busy, keep yourself engaged to something, anything and with time you'd get over it. Heartbreak doesn't kill, man.

brother, If you have been in a distant relationship, you'll know that it's not same as a close relationship. Beside, she met her husband during this period all because she was insecured about me

cana882:
bro your last statement says it all.. I even dated someone during service just to forget her because she had already started seeing her husband but just couldn't help thinking about her.. I have to forget her. I have to do this for our both future

yes bro..... Don't b d reason y she won't concentrate on her marriage...... my ex is nt staying too far from my area, buh I do avoid her..... cos truth is dat, I still av feelings for her n I bliv she still av for me also but I did it for both of us....