₦airaland Forum

amicable09:
Hahahaha. Marry who? Marry the late mother of the kids o. If you no die, the family will not relent especially if her parents are still alive. Her people will make sure you marry their daughter because;
You can't bring her corpse back to her father's compound to bury.
Worse is, she died while birthing YOUR seed. Which in some places won't be yours sef because you just dey help the lady's family with more children.

Wait you don see craziness of a poverted IJEBU MAN BEFORE. i am a real ijebu man,and let me say this i never say i will not pay d birth right if i had money.i will pay them into thier bank account and never allow anybsacrifices made on me.but no money? Kasala go burst. Na to run sure pass na.shey na who dey see them dpgo hold. U will see that they will bury there daughter last!

Dont quote me wrong i loved d lady till death and she will know its the wickedness of her family that made me act that way.

SIRKAY98:
Which predicament are you talking about? Or you have not taking your time to study what the writer narrates.

Its sounds as if you are even from the wife's family?

My word for you is that when a sturborn man and a mad man meets and ressels one will run for each other! As far as i am concern about this matter

I cant pay anyone no matter the customs or tradition .i will follow what the Holy book said. That we should multiply and repllenish the heart. Keep your custom in your pocket ok. Mr sarcastic.

A wise man does not pass judgement on a case until he hears the two sides of the story..jumping to pass judgement based on a man's version of a story is juvenile in my opinion..
Like every other Nigerian we twist the Bible to suit our purposes,am sure the Holy Book is strongly in support of proper marriages before procreation but it doesn't suit your needs does it..

chimkaire:
Right. But then, was the woman under a spell? Point is; she knew this is what applies, yes she knows. Why did she stay? She would have saved the man this hot mess
I know this applies to most Igbo communities.
The man's gonna go through with this tradition even if he calls on the Authorities in Hague. Guys condemning this outcome would cry wolf if their daughter(s) goes co-habiting with a guy in the name of marriage.

You are right babe.
But about the lady, most of them told their men to marry them but the men felt they were too smart. Why marry her when she is living with me and is giving me children already, that's their question but it backfires unfortunately when she dies because if the family knows how to make trouble, that guy will sha go down.

Not as if he is not down already sef... lol. He has to do the right thing. My own place sef, if you marry a lady after the birth of the child, the baby still goes to her family. If you really want the child, then make sure you secure baby by paying her bride price before she puts to bed.

They have no money and they have 6 kids?

Poverty is never an excuse for lack of planning. Its simple common sense.

Ok nah, I don't hear, u be child of God wey dey cohabit?

SIRKAY98:
Only if that woman that dies is an ogbanje and has made a convenant she will die at so so period.and if that man has fire of God nothing will affect him

donbenie:
Am sure all the women in your community are all "MARRIED" whether or not the proper rites were performed..and how did you know what transpired between the family and the man before now,you haven't exactly heard their side of the story..have you?

See this issue happens recently and i agree some family can be cruel! It can even happen that they will spriritually remotely call their daughter to run home through daibolical means or make her fall sick and u start soending unnessessary! Families that demand for this can actually be traced to the death of the woman .expecially if they dont like d man. I believe this isuue should be trailed spiritually and u wilk see d light of d matter

olumide81:
Nigerians with cruelty, always taking advantage of a man's problem, while some political aspirants are using the opportunity to sell their candidacy, some family members want to enrich themselves not putting into consideration, the new born babies, the children she left behind , may God bless her soul.

It is a taboo in Igboland for a man to impregnate a lady whom he has not paid her bride price let alone having many kids with her like Mr Emmanuel. This lady's family is even being fair to him, some others will punish with outrageous amounts (say #1million) and if you fail to do it, you'll become their enemy and they'll probably invoke the gods of their land upon you - trust me you don't want to experience that.

Advice:1. if you see a girl you like, especially an Igbo girl, try to find out about their traditions and most importantly, ensure you pay her dowry before you keep her in your house as your wife, and don't impregnate her if you can't afford to pay the dowry.

2. Traditions of a people must be respected because if you don't, the consequences are always disastrous. Marriage is not FREE; if you don't have money for dowry be patient until you do. You can have sex as many as you want but immediately you impregnate an Igbo girl, you should do the needful.

All those celebs forming baby mamas.... God is watching you all in 5k mode

SIRKAY98:
Wait you don see craziness of a poverted IJEBU MAN BEFORE. i am a real ijebu man,and let me say this i never say i will not pay d birth right if i had money.i will pay them into thier bank account and never allow anybsacrifices made on me.but no money? Kasala go burst. Na to run sure pass na.shey na who dey see them dpgo hold. U will see that they will bury there daughter last!

Dont quote me wrong i loved d lady till death and she will know its the wickedness of her family that made me act that way.

Wait a minute! Who am I dealing with? Are you the main man? The man who was busy putting my sister in the family way up and down!? Na where she dey born your pikin she die! Do you know how much bride price cost? Less than a 100 naira and you couldn't respect her enough to visit her family and make them proud by marrying their daughter!

My ijebu friend, begin now dey run o because you sabi run but run and know that you have no hiding place at the back of your mind.

Because that money you must pay!

Defensive ko offensive ni, cos I gave you punch?

AshiwajuFoward:
Why are you catching feelings and getting all defensive? I asked you a legitimate question, based on your own submission that this custom is meant to be a deterrent against premarital pregnancies. Everybody is aware of the prevalence of Baby Factories in the SE, so I only asked if there's a correlation since it'll be understandable for a girl with an unwanted baby to try to escape the stigma of ostracization by opting to ...sell the baby. Some of you can be so emotional.

SoNature:
It is a taboo in Igboland for a man to impregnate a lady whom he has not paid her bride price let alone having many kids with her like Mr Emmanuel. This lady's family is even being fair to him, some others will punish with outrageous amounts (say #1million) and if you fail to do it, you'll become their enemy and they'll probably invoke the gods of their land upon you.

Advice:1. if you see a girl you like, esp an Igbo girl, try to find out about their traditions and most importantly, ensure you pay her dowry before you keep her in your house.

2. Cultures must be respected because if you don't the consequences are always disastrous. Marriage is not FREE; if you don't have money for dowry be patient until you do.

I have few questions to ask you?

Must money be a bases to marriage?

When God craeted ADAM AND EVE did he say you must consult a third party before they Reproduce? Why not let shun evil traditions and accept light? I like marrital rights Nd am not against it in any form but when it becomes too bizaire or babaric i will fight back i bet it. Someone said they will evoke Gods of thier land? And i will run to Jesus the Savoiur of the world who died for my sake,

Traditionally in Igbo land you have to perform the proper marriage rites for their daughter and of course those things are negotiable depending on the girls family or community, you must pay her pride price else the kids are automatically her families,and if by mistake you feel you are smart to keep someone's daughter in your house and be breeding,keep praying nothing happens to her cos that pride price refused to pay while she was alive you must in death,and they will get more mean on you cos of the girls death. some culture are kept to keep young people responsible. in this case the man just have to keep pleading with them and at least pay bride price alone or wit little more stuff.

ODVanguard:
Omo, forget. The couple obviously eloped or something. If they chose to marry without her family's consent (which isn't unusual) why is he giving himself headache? Where was her family all through their marriage prior to her demise? And why are they not mourning the woman, instead they are asking for bride-price? The man should just go and bury his wife and move on with his life. All these stvpid customs are way overrated.

Which wife. A wife that he didn't paid bride price.
Things like this happen when the man has kids with the woman without performing her marriage rite which to me serves him right.

Some people are so foolish that they won't learn from others mistake

TheArchangel:
Nna gi muru gi.
There is no two ways about it. The fear of the hullabaloo in marrying a corpse often makes youths a little bit responsible. Cohabiting and reproducing without going through the proper channel has it consequences. You can sue the culture and get stuck in court for ages.

u are right, dis was wat happened 2 my late sister's husband bt our tradition is a bit different, he never paid her diary and she died while delivering her first child bt the guy was only asked 2 pay the bride prize b4 d burial rites in order to please her as a woman! BT an insignificant amount was taken frm his family, it taught him a lesson and a year later he got married properly b4 children

amicable09:
Wait a minute! Who am I dealing with? Are you the main man? The man who was busy putting my sister in the family way up and down!? Na where she dey born your pikin she die! Do you know how much bride price cost? Less than a 100 naira and you couldn't respect her enough to visit her family and make them proud by marrying their daughter!

My ijebu friend, begin now dey run o because you sabi run but run and know that you have no hiding place at the back of your mind.

Because that money you must pay!

My dear brother .this is the worst thing am trying to explain to you but you are adamant.why not let shun some evil traditons that asked us to Marry a dead being? Is God not fare? He rains on the poor and rich .remenber the children are still alive even with new sets of twins.? I will not support to forcefully make someone to do what he has no capacity to and in which i can bearly see it myself.and i know he has nothing to do with the death of the lady.

bigtt76:
All those celebs forming baby mamas.... God is watching you all in 5k mode

don't mind them

[/color]sorry for the lost, RIP to the dead, but i blame the husband too, i dont just understand how some men will go a long way with a woman to the extend of giving birth to four children! without the parent consent it wrong some region in this country will not take it likely with u when it come to see! any way soory to him, and the family too should just chill!

SIRKAY98:
I have few questions to ask you?

Must money be a bases to marriage?

When God craeted ADAM AND EVE did he say you must consult a third party before they Reproduce? Why not let shun evil traditions and accept light? I like marrital rights Nd am not against it in any form but when it becomes too bizaire or babaric i will fight back i bet it. Someone said they will evoke Gods of thier land? And i will run to Jesus the Savoiur of the world who died for my sake,

Akuko uwa! Jesus ko, Jehova ni! Did the Bible say you should fornicate and bear bastards? Leave God out of this, please because even Jesus says (in Mark 12:17), "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Mind you, the figure you see up there like #350k is not actually the cost of the bride price, but punishment for keeping their daughter and having kids with her without meeting necessary marital obligations.

Please be guided accordingly; you don't want to get into this mess, believe me

SIRKAY98:
My dear brother .this is the worst thing am trying to explain to you but you are adamant.why not let shun some evil traditons that asked us to Marry a dead being? Is God not fare? He rains on the poor and rich .remenber the children are still alive even with new sets of twins.? I will not support to forcefully make someone to do what he has no capacity to and in which i can bearly see it myself.and i know he has nothing to do with the death of the lady.

Ok your bother is affected, sorry. Good thing is he is not being accused of killing the deceased through diabolical means, her people are simply saying marry her before she can be buried. They are not wicked here. If he goes to them in remorse, they can work out sth for the sake of the kids he is nursing but first, let him go and apologize with kolanut and palm wine *smiles.

After apology, he will sha marry his wife. Marry as in do traditional marriage, small in-house sth, no biggie. Then he will compensate the family for their loss, small compensation.

It is simple. The people are not bad at all, things must be done accordingly.

One Love! *winks.

pastormellanby:
people using excuses for their foolish barbaric behaviours, some fools said he took advantage of her, did he charm her with four kids.

der's some thing ur missing, let me assume they whr living in mutual agreement and started having kids and in labour she dies, u will definately inform the ladies family and every tribe has traditions that you must fulfill b4 putting a woman u never married and died in your house, asking the man 2 marry her corpse is wrong bt is the tradition and you must obey or else dat woman won't even be happy wit u in the other world, 2 me a little bride price would hv been ok

SIRKAY98:
Bro.where i came from we dont welcome that too. Make we go court.u never see craze wey no get money.we go use anything settle this matter .i dey tell u...think it. 4grown up kids. 2new sets of twins?. If those children wey grow up when d mother was alive and they became president .will u here this kind matter form the family?

so u expect the family to jst take the corpse from the man and bury jst like that, does it make any sense?.

SoNature:
Akuko uwa! Jesus ko, Jehova ni! Did the Bible say you should fornicate and bear bastards? Leave God out of this, please because even Jesus says (in Mark 12:17), "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

Mind you, the figure you see up there like #350k is not actually the cost of the bride price, but punishment for keeping their daughter and having kids with her without meeting necessary marital obligations.

Please be guided accordingly; you don't want to get into this mess, believe me

Lets assume the woman was alive? And the marital rights are yet to be fulfilled and the children are grown up to become great.will this kind of mess happens ? What i can say is that this is another generation race are mixing with race .your traditions should be adjusted and stop old fashions of traditions ok? How much is the money? I want to pay for the man.but i bet you .that is the last friut you guys will eat of that woman because after all this am rellocation with the children to usa. .

And mind you never call any children bastards .God creats all things in perfectness we only see it as bastards in our own eyes, When the pharises brought that woman that was caught in adultery to Jesus and they were expecting Jesus to castigate the woman .he only said go and sin no more. Love is the Deifination of the 10commandments. That brings all this tradition we are talking about

herbie27:
so u expect the family to jst take the corpse from the man and bury jst like that, does it make any sense?.

My brother God giveth and taketh. You know there is a place of nemesis.one day it might be your family turn when you will need to perform such rights and u will know ur suppose to do it but u had no money attall hence the Nemesis pay back time surfaces

kelechiodo:
And for some of you that may claim DNA issue etc. Well no law protects the man now. He cant claim the kkids anywhere in Nigeria. The lady's family can easily allocate lands to them, gave the kids a new surname and claim them. Dont ever toy with customs because Nigeria lwa backs most of them.

You are dumb n stupid! What Nigerian law supports dis baseless claim of urs?

Grow up and live in a real world! The only thing i kno d family can do is to jazz d man.

antispexish:
well let them make the children bastards cus of money and tradition!
The man made a grave mistake, bur another mistake wunt make the first one right.
by the way, does traditional marriage supercedes legal marriage?

the bible said "give to ceaser what belongs to ceaser". That is why even church advice you do traditional marriage first and pay bride price b4 any other.

Islam d best religion .

arofemites:
You are dumb n stupid! What Nigerian law supports dis baseless claim of urs?

Grow up and live in a real world! The only thing i kno d family can do is to jazz d man.

Bro biko abegi dont insult a nairalander .i know how the tory they pape u 4 body ok.just explain things to her ok...cheers

arofemites:
You are dumb n stupid! What Nigerian law supports dis baseless claim of urs?

Grow up and live in a real world! The only thing i kno d family can do is to jazz d man.

Go easy on the abuse bro! There is something and someplace called "Customary Courts" and they function in Nigeria. Just so you know.

Cutehector:
Like one female nairalander told me, always know the customs of d wife's hometown before getting married to her

getting married? from what i deducted from that story they were NEVER married, they co habited and started giving birth. that is y d man is being called upon to come and perform d traditional marriage rites.

Ghost447:
Such custom cannot pass the repugnancy test.

It will especially if the man can not prove the fact of marriage.

Thats a very important aspect of Igbo culture alongside some Igbo neighbours. Marrying after pregnancy attracts extra fines because of "imeru ala" and if the woman has many children so will your fines increase.

He should pay that tiny bride requirements before the brothers will accuse him of deceiving their sister to her untimely death.

For this age...?...nawa o...