₦airaland Forum

Let's pray for peace

mbolajide2010:
Do they eat people in Igboland culture or no culture? I see you do not know the meaning of culture.

Where do they eat people, say it here.

Your culture kills people,

Abi Abobaku killing and Oro is not your culture again, don't they involve killing?

olumide81:
Nigerians with cruelty, always taking advantage of a man's problem, while some political aspirants are using the opportunity to sell their candidacy, some family members want to enrich themselves not putting into consideration, the new born babies, the children she left behind , may God bless her soul.

you cant just conclude like that. I dont see any cruelty here, rather, I saw stupidity in the man's part. I am not from that side of town and how I wish they will trade softly. But is not stupid for a man to take another man's daughter and start having children without fulfilling the marital rites? Then, when something happens, they will call some race wicked. That lady is owned by some kinsmen, though they may not fight you when the woman was still alive because she may be in support of her husband and will not agree to leave him. But once they person is dead, you will know that she have people and they will come after you. It's as simple as that

ckmayoca:
Was that suppose to be a second marriage or what? Cos the writer started it with husband and wife? Why another marriage after d woman's death?

here in naija, once a man and a woman are living together, automaticaly, they are decleared husband and wife

antispexish:
are you saying that the life of the woman was cut short by the man cus he did not perform marriage rites? what an excuse! The woman would have died! married or not!

She certainly would have died someday but not in the mysterious way she did. I hope you realize that she bled to death and of course her family was unaware all the while. I'm of the opinion that at least if they were married, the "husband" would have informed her family and if they could provide money or any form of support they would have offered it.

There is a huge difference between someone legally married and birthing babies and someone living with a man unmarried and giving him children, they are not the same thing. So, tradition stands. Poor dude has to do the needful.

These same Nigerian women that were foaming at the mouth just last on the Enugu House debavle are the ones shouting culture up and down this thread. The culture is barbaric when it doesn't favour you, but must be followed when it hurts someone else.

Woe betide the man that takes any of you seriously.

Churchillsaug:
here in naija, once a man and a woman are living together, automaticaly, they are decleared husband and wife

Story go change if another man pikin die under the sudden husbands house and ppl will say the girls family wicked if dey treat him Bleep up.

Timbuktou:
These same Nigerian women that were foaming at the mouth just last on the Enugu House debavle are the ones shouting culture up and down this thread. The culture is barbaric when it doesn't favour you, but must be followed when it hurts someone else.

Woe betide the man that takes any of you seriously.

Take what many of them say too serious at ur risk..
Lioness online but cat in reality

Traditionists are to be avoided at all costs.

amicable09:
She certainly would have died someday but not in the mysterious way she did. I hope you realize that she bled to death and of course her family was unaware all the while. I'm of the opinion that at least if they were married, the "husband" would have informed her family and if they could provide money or any form of support they would have offered it.

There is a huge difference between someone legally married and birthing babies and someone living with a man unmarried and giving him children, they are not the same thing. So, tradition stands. Poor dude has to do the needful.

now you are adding assumptions into the issue. We do not know if it's lack of money that caused her death. rich people too die during childbirth. there was nothing mysterious about her death. and I'm of the opinion that if it where money issues,the man would have asked the wife's family and they would have refused. dem wan collect, dem no ready give.

Cutehector:
Like one female nairalander told me, always know the customs of d wife's hometown before getting married to her

very very important....

bellville:
It will especially if the man can not prove the fact of marriage.

In our laws is marriage one of the means of proving paternity? Please go and study the law very well

I've heard strange things done to corpses. Like The Benguet of Northwestern Philippines blindfold their dead and place them next to the main entrance of the house. The Tinguian people of the Philippines dress bodies in their best clothes, sit them on a chair and place a lit cigarette in their lips. Now Nigeria, marry the dead?

Ghost447:
In our laws is marriage one of the means of proving paternity? Please go and study the law very well

That's why customary law, a potent source of Nigerian law, will continue to suffer in the hierarchy of laws. I completely agree that a plethora of cases (Mariyama v. Sadiku; Edet v. Essien) support your position.
However, if I were a judge in this case, I would take a pragmatic and activist approach not minding if I would be tongue-lashed on appeal.
I just hate when a man puts a woman in his house without proper customary marriage. Call it sentiment if you like. Every parent who has raised a girl-child to marriageable age deserves some recognition.

Churchillsaug:
you cant just conclude like that. I dont see any cruelty here, rather, I saw stupidity in the man's part. I am not from that side of town and how I wish they will trade softly. But is not stupid for a man to take another man's daughter and start having children without fulfilling the marital rites? Then, when something happens, they will call some race wicked. That lady is owned by some kinsmen, though they may not fight you when the woman was still alive because she may be in support of her husband and will not agree to leave him. But once they person is dead, you will know that she have people and they will come after you. It's as simple as that

When the woman was alive, why did her kinsmen not drag her out of the man's house for his failure to marry her? Or did the man hold a gun to her head to keep her in his house? Their daughter is equally guilty of the same offence, jare! They should leave the man in peace with his grief...

asuustrike2009:
inasmuch i sympathized with the widower, you should know that the man is at fault too why because he did not pay his girlfriend's dowry.

And why did the girl agree to move into his house and start living with him, when he did NOT pay her dowry? And why did she get pregnant for him? Do birth control methods no longer exist in the market? What kind of lawless girl is that? Why blame only the man?

bellville:
That's why customary law, a potent source of Nigerian law, will continue to suffer in the hierarchy of laws. I completely agree that a plethora of cases (Mariyama v. Sadiku; Edet v. Essien) support your position.
However, if I were a judge in this case, I would take a pragmatic and activist approach not minding if I would be tongue-lashed on appeal.
I just hate when a man puts a woman in his house without proper customary marriage. Call it sentiment if you like. Every parent who has raised a girl-child to marriageable age deserves some recognition.

mtcheew...and every girl-child who is of a marriageable age needs to respect herself and her parents, instead of packing blindly into a man's house and cohabiting with him, without going through the rites of marriage!

DikeOha882:
The custom must be preserved, else the woman that died will get angry and clear their family (kill) it has happened before. Pride price must be paid no matter how little, I dey go church or I be muslim no dey this one as far as you are Igbo.

That woman is totally stupid! When she was sleeping with the man without him paying her bride price or she was enjoying the bedmatics and getting pregnant, why did she not kill the family? If I am the man, not one kobo will be paid as bride price....when she was not raped in the first place!

Tequilah:
When the woman was alive, why did her kinsmen not drag her out of the man's house for his failure to marry her? Or did the man hold a gun to her head to keep her in his house? Their daughter is equally guilty of the same offence, jare! They should leave the man in peace with his grief...



And why did the girl agree to move into his house and start living with him, when he did NOT pay her dowry? And why did she get pregnant for him? Do birth control methods no longer exist in the market? What kind of lawless girl is that? Why blame only the man?

brother, let's be realistic here. In a case like this, men ends up loosing, so, to be on a safer side, let's always do the needful. If this case goes to court, the man might go to gail if care is not taken. U know why? The lady in question is dead, so the man will take the blame alone. Or do u want to blame the dead? Court will demand for marriage certificate and he aint got none, they might claim he killed her, yes! Because she is not his wife and he does not HAVE ANY RIGHT on the lady, so when the family start demanding for their daughter, he need to provide her for them. As simple as that

Churchillsaug:
brother, let's be realistic here. In a case like this, men ends up loosing, so, to be on a safer side, let's always do the needful. If this case goes to court, the man might go to gail if care is not taken. U know why? The lady in question is dead, so the man will take the blame alone. Or do u want to blame the dead? Court will demand for marriage certificate and he aint got none, they might claim he killed her, yes! Because she is not his wife and he does not HAVE ANY RIGHT on the lady, so when the family start demanding for their daughter, he need to provide her for them. As simple as that

If you know anything about court processes, you should realise that the law of evidence will always come into play. If the hospital report or post-mortem, proves that the woman died in childbirth, and there was no foul play, the man will walk away scot free.

Their daughter was NOT blameless. Why did she agree to live with a man that was not her husband to the extent of getting pregnant for him, not once but four times? That family is useless. They just want to expose their daughter's immorality to the public. If I am the man, I will not pay a dime!

bellville:
That's why customary law, a potent source of Nigerian law, will continue to suffer in the hierarchy of laws. I completely agree that a plethora of cases (Mariyama v. Sadiku; Edet v. Essien) support your position.
However, if I were a judge in this case, I would take a pragmatic and activist approach not minding if I would be tongue-lashed on appeal.
I just hate when a man puts a woman in his house without proper customary marriage. Call it sentiment if you like. Every parent who has raised a girl-child to marriageable age deserves some recognition.

Do you really think the woman should not be blamed for intentionally, knowingly, willfully staying in a man's house without the proper arrangement? Well raised females don't misbehave in such manner. I'm a living example, each time I tell my babe to spend a week in my house she will always remind me that I have not paid her bride price and that she is not my wife and therefore she can't do what I requested. The law is settled on this issue of paternity and for that reason bride price cannot deprive a man of his child arguing otherwise will only serve as academic purpose.

donbenie:
And what is repugnant about expecting a man to do the honourable thing and marry a woman he calls his wife properly or does the word WIFE not get any definition where you come from..

Read the following cases: Edet v. Essien (1932) 1 WNLR 47; Okoriko v. Otobo (1961) NWLR 48; Meribe v. Egwu (1977) 3 SC 23.

excellentmomma:
Which one passes repugnancy test?

Killing innocent pple to bury one pagan of a king (abobaku things) abi Oro festival rampage,

Killing innocent people everywhere? Answer

This one they are telling you to be responsible or we might make you responsible one day, so you want free wife and free children? Look elsewhere for that abeg.

Why don't you advice your daughters or sisters to be responsible so that men will not take advantage of them. No properly brought up lady will agree to live with a man who is not her legitimate husband let alone having children for him. The bottom line is, give your female children good home training .

donbenie:
And what is repugnant about expecting a man to do the honourable thing and marry a woman he calls his wife properly or does the word WIFE not get any definition where you come from..

I'm talking about paternity not marriage please.

Ghost447:
Why don't you advice your daughters or sisters to be responsible so that men will not take advantage of them. No properly brought up lady will agree to live with a man who is not her legitimate husband let alone having children for him. The bottom line is, give your female children good home training .

Where are you from, be bold to say it, then let's take the stats.

For you not to have a rule for recalcitrant fellows and bold to say it means you condone such behaviors in your culture.

So go tell all the nations to do away with their laws because everybody is expected to behave themselves.

Ghost447:
Why don't you advice your daughters or sisters to be responsible so that men will not take advantage of them. No properly brought up lady will agree to live with a man who is not her legitimate husband let alone having children for him. The bottom line is, give your female children good home training .

1,000 likes for this post! When the woman was enjoying living with the man, even though they were not married, her people did not see anything wrong in it. Neither did they go and drag her out of the man's house. If you check properly, some of them were probably even collecting gifts, money and kola from the man while happily referring to him as a prospective in-law. Now, that the woman is dead, they are making the man the scapegoat. _mtcheew! Scammers!!