₦airaland Forum

Reading the comments here... Nothing else comes to mind but Peace Of Mind. This reminds me of the love story of a couple... ... 6yrs into their marriage the woman discovered her husband was secretly seeing the family nurse. He would even take their daughter along on trips with her. The woman discovered after the nurse assisted her in delivering their third child that she was her husbands mistress. Such a risk! . She woke him up in the middle of the night and devotedly made him feel guilty. That was the last he did.....No one heard about it. 38years on, this couple are still together with the man bn devoted as a mother. Patience, Good attitude and ofcos God is enough to change a cheating man. It is only domestic violence I dread. I do not support cheating because even the Bible kicks against it and sees it as the only reason for divorce however blessed is that woman who does it with wisdom.

EggovinMma:
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR INDEED!!!!
TOKS IS DIVORCED!! HE IS YET TO REMARRY. I THINK THE DIVORCE REAL LY AFFECTED HIM SO BAD.KEPT BLAMING HIS WIFE....

I concur

Peace is the absolute key in this kind of situation.

Joy1706:
Awwww! You've been in the marital union for years? You conveniently FORGOT to mention ur wife left you. Awww! Little Mr.marriage counsellor is divorced. Hahahahahahaha. Wifey refused to deal with ur BS huh? That's why ur so pained? Mumu. Who the Bleep are u counselling seeing as u couldn't even keep ur home. You're a failure as a man and u dare advise women? Mumu. Gerrout jor

No wonder...mscheww. So he was asking questions he already had answers to. Coming here to put a monopoly on shag-ging, when his wife had banged her way out of their marriage. Very funny.
It's why I love women. They are smoother. They could be getting their groove on and massaging your ego by pretending to enjoy your foaming at the mouth, about why cheating is your God given right.

ronald4lif:
What has being Christian got to do with cheating. So, if I were a Christian and married then accidentally finds myself in a closet with a woman with the body type of Kim K, I won't experience eréction? And if I do I shouldn't act on it

Nope u shouldn't.

jaybee3:
What's good bro?

I go like debate you sha

he is not in the mood to engage you

Joy1706:
Hahahahaha! She didn't know the kind of loser she married. Glad she came to her senses. He is angry his wife refused to put up with his BS

His ex wife. ..
I ignored this thread ffrom the onset, noticed it was clouded with hate and sentiments from his previous marriage. I may be wrong though.

Joy1706:
Awwww! You've been in the marital union for years? You conveniently FORGOT to mention ur wife left you. Awww! Little Mr.marriage counsellor is divorced. Hahahahahahaha. Wifey refused to deal with ur BS huh? That's why ur so pained? Mumu. Who the Bleep are u counselling seeing as u couldn't even keep ur home. You're a failure as a man and u dare advise women? Mumu. Gerrout jor

Oshogbo weed and brazil substance mixed together is dangerous for the brain...

Chai..ladies and their inbuilt madness...only you be judge and jury...

You wan hear story abi? sorry i no go tell you so conclude whatever you like.

But please stop your abusive nature cos it will only bring you terrible consequence.

EggovinMma:
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR INDEED!!!!
TOKS IS DIVORCED!! HE IS YET TO REMARRY. I THINK THE DIVORCE REAL LY AFFECTED HIM SO BAD.KEPT BLAMING HIS WIFE....

Lmao...walahi you ladies don craze finish..which divorce and wat marriage?

Im enjoying this walahi..oya fire on in your utter confusion and cluelessness.

Joy1706:
Wow! A fool at 40 indeed

lwkmd...
Now i know why some men beat the pooh outta some ladies..lol
Oya fire on...

what if if you and your husband cheat together

3sums

Equality in cheating.

enygmababe:
I am amazed that you think an unfaithful HUSBAND has the option of marrying more wives.

A married man can only go ahead to marry more wives in Nigeria if the first marriage was customary or Muslim in nature. If he was married under the act in the first instance, then any subsequent marriage is bigamy which is a criminal offence for which he can be convicted by a court of law in Nigeria. A lot of women just don't know this and so do not harness it. Also if the first marriage is customary, any subsequent marriage to another woman can only be customary in nature

If my hubby tries it, sadly the woman will never be able to bear his name. In fact I know of a woman whose husband secretly went to marry another woman, she gave him and the other woman an ultimatum and they had no choice but to annul the marriage because at the time of the marriage the man was already marriage so the subsequent marriage was void ab initio.

It is sad indeed that most men would cheat and say it is meaningless, a harmless fling and that they love their wife. If they only realised that the act of lovemaking to a wife transcends the physical to the spiritual as well as the emotional trauma it could cause, am sure they would restrain themselves. A man who cheats on me cannot love me and I doubt that I have the capacity to stay with such a man and pretend to manage it. However, this post is not about the repentant adulterer but about the unrepentant philanderer.

Guys beware! The day a woman stops crying about you that day you need to start fearing for you life.

Before deciding to leave it will take some time. The first time I discover it, I will give him time to do the needful and change. This is because i know what i have invested in this family and would not want to leave for another person who did not sow to come and reap. After this period of grace, if he does not change, I may draw battle lines. By battle lines I do not mean incessant quarrels but I mean a withdrawal of cooperation.

By withdrawal of cooperation I mean that he will become the bread winner of the family in the true sense of the word. After all, he has an abundance and that is the reason why he can entice girls in numbers. He will drop the household allowance, my personal allowance and pay for everything even to the match box. If he doesn't then there will be no food in the house. He will also not get a dime from me whether as a loan or support of any kind. We might actually live as strangers in the house.

The moment I know about the affair we will start using CDs for intimacy though for the life of me I still wonder how much intimacy there will be becos I will imagine him with another woman, see them in the act in my minds eye and be repulsed. Pretending through the motions of intimacy is no mean feat but is definitely beyond my powers. Biko leave me I beg.

On philandering shamelessly in revenge ...lol. Giving myself to his friends in revenge would be stupid and I value myself too much to harm/abuse myself all in the name of revenge. However, a philandering man who refuses to change is obviously advocating for an open marriage and should get it. However, the female need not go about it abrasively just for revenge. If I were to chose that option? I would not rush it. I would only be with a man that also attracts me but which said attraction I would hitherto have suppressed because of the institution of marriage. However, if I ever get to this stage, it would me that I do not have an iota of love for my hubby anymore in which case, I can kill him...subtly. So I would be better off leaving him and filing for a divorce.

Guys always forget that a wife has blood flowing in her veins too. She sometimes sees some men and feels attraction but suppresses the feelings because of her love for her husband and the vows she took. Why can't a man do the same?

But right now, even though I pray it never happens, I keep myself busy by making the home so happy and homely that he knows how good he has it. So that when the battle lines are drawn, he knows what he is missing.

Truth be told though the questions are not easy to answer nor are the answers sacrosanct. A lot depends on how I feel when it happens. I may bloody well take a gun and blow his head off in a dark alley.

Toks2008:
Oshogbo weed and brazil substance mixed together is dangerous for the brain...

Chai..ladies and their inbuilt madness...only you be judge and jury...

You wan hear story abi? sorry i no go tell you so conclude whatever you like.

But please stop your abusive nature cos it will only bring you terrible consequence.

Apt description of toks2008

EggovinMma:
When married,4.

Have met you on a different thread in this forum.
That's your way. I believe you could still cheat even if your husband is faithful.

doveda:

EggovinMma post=43044908:
His ex wife. ..
I ignored this thread ffrom the onset, noticed it was clouded with hate and sentiments from his previous marriage. I may be wrong though.

Joy1706:

Ngokafor post=43039772:
....

I had to call you ladies out to give you a brotherly advice.

You guys may feel you are catching fun but trust me,it is an unhealthy way of interacting and even if this is a faceless forum,it is indeed the best place to show your true nature and i am very embarrassed and disappointed that rather than focus and discuss on the matter on ground,you started attacking the personal life of the writer...This is a crass nature and very very appalling and demeaning.

Please learn to be poised and seasoned in the way you relate with people and you will be better off.

For the purpose of clarity,please stop writing unfounded storied about whether i am or was married,whether i am divorced or whether i was dumped..that is my personal life and the last time i checked,it has nada to do with what i wrote so apparently there is somthing fundamentally wrong with the mental state of you ladies.

I wrote an article which is my opinion and it is only normal for a mentally balanced person to discuss that without direct insults or reference to the personal life of the writer.

I remember creating a thread concerning this low life behaviours of some ladies and guys who are fond of showcasing foolishness on social platforms.

https://www.nairaland.com/2853834/rule-2-nairaland.a-true-test


As they say,one of the best places you can know the true nature of an individual is on a faceless online social interactive platform.

If there is one thing that will always baffle me on nairaland or other online social media platform,it is the way some people curse and abuse others with such recklessness not because they were abused by that person but because the person was simply stating an opinionated view.

In any social interaction,everyone has the right to express his or her opinion no matter how lame or awkward and no one has the justifiable reason to curse or slander such but should rather respond by expressing a contrary notion if needs be in an intellectual and responsible manner without any form of insults or jabs.

While many people ignore this set of people,some believe this is part of the norm of online social interactive media but this does not change the fact that it is a repulsive and odoriferous act that is done by people of questionable intellect.

I have come to a conclusion that anyone who abuses, bullies, deliberately insults/provokes, fights, or wishes harm to any other person whether on or off-line just because such expressed an opinion is not only unstable mentally but such is also of a very low intelligent quotient(IQ) and a potential danger physically and emotionally to people around him or her

Such person whether male or female is not worth co-existing with any human but should take a home with the animals in the jungle.

Toks2008:
lwkmd...

Now i know why some men beat the pooh outta some ladies..lol

Oya fire on...

Lwkmd....

Now I know why some women stab their husbands in their sleep...lol

I'll keep firing on. Best believe it

Toks2008:
Oshogbo weed and brazil substance mixed together is dangerous for the brain...

Chai..ladies and their inbuilt madness...only you be judge and jury...

You wan hear story abi? sorry i no go tell you so conclude whatever you like.

But please stop your abusive nature cos it will only bring you terrible consequence.

Oya deny it na. Toks 2008 and his inbuilt stupidity.Hahahahahahaha! Physician heal thyself

Rocktation:
No wonder...mscheww. So he was asking questions he already had answers to. Coming here to put a monopoly on shag-ging, when his wife had banged her way out of their marriage. Very funny.
It's why I love women. They are smoother. They could be getting their groove on and massaging your ego by pretending to enjoy your foaming at the mouth, about why cheating is your God given right.

Hahahahaha! I dey tell u

Toks2008:
Lmao...walahi you ladies don craze finish..which divorce and wat marriage?

Im enjoying this walahi..oya fire on in your utter confusion and cluelessness.

Now ur asking what marriage? Lmao! Thought you said you've been in the marriage business for long. You don dey change mouth?

Toks2008:
I had to call you ladies out to give you a brotherly advice.

You guys may feel you are catching fun but trust me,it is an unhealthy way of interacting and even if this is a faceless forum,it is indeed the best place to show your true nature and i am very embarrassed and disappointed that rather than focus and discuss on the matter on ground,you started attacking the personal life of the writer...This is a crass nature and very very appalling and demeaning.

Please learn to be poised and seasoned in the way you relate with people and you will be better off.

For the purpose of clarity,please stop writing unfounded storied about whether i am or was married,whether i am divorced or whether i was dumped..that is my personal life and the last time i checked,it has nada to do with what i wrote so apparently there is somthing fundamentally wrong with the mental state of you ladies.

I wrote an article which is my opinion and it is only normal for a mentally balanced person to discuss that without direct insults or reference to the personal life of the writer.

Honey you're not mentally balanced. You have no business writing articles for anybody, least of all sane women. Haba na! Respect urself

Toks2008:
I had to call you ladies out to give you a brotherly advice.

You guys may feel you are catching fun but trust me,it is an unhealthy way of interacting and even if this is a faceless forum,it is indeed the best place to show your true nature and i am very embarrassed and disappointed that rather than focus and discuss on the matter on ground,you started attacking the personal life of the writer...This is a crass nature and very very appalling and demeaning.

Please learn to be poised and seasoned in the way you relate with people and you will be better off.

For the purpose of clarity,please stop writing unfounded storied about whether i am or was married,whether i am divorced or whether i was dumped..that is my personal life and the last time i checked,it has nada to do with what i wrote so apparently there is somthing fundamentally wrong with the mental state of you ladies.

I wrote an article which is my opinion and it is only normal for a mentally balanced person to discuss that without direct insults or reference to the personal life of the writer.

You do not have a right to an offensive opinion. When your opinion is derogatary, not well-reasoned and hypocritical, we will call you out. We will attack you personally if need be.

Also, can you please endeavour to respect other intelligent opinions? I realised that when others express their opinions you consider them not good enough. Yours is the best, we have to agree to it else we risk whatever you think. That is what you sound like and it is fvcking annoying. Please stop!

doveda:
I am laughing like a mad woman at the bolded


Biko it should be we lead while they follow

Hmmm

Like I said before different branches of the Christian religion have distinctly agreed that although divorce is not promoted both male and female may divorce each other for infidelity as well as abandonment. I have done my own research on this and spoken to men and women of God.

If you happen to be Catholic I will say that the Catholic Church does not believe in divorce at all whether it be male or female. Regardless of what the Bible says. This just goes to show how powerful interpretation is. They chose to belive that the passage that states what God has put to get her let no man separate is stronger than the passage where Jesus specifically permits divorce on two grounds.

Also we can't just pick and choose what we don't want to accept in the old testament to our liking. This is why the jews do not acknowledge the new testament because they do not belive that Christ has come. It's either you're in the school of thought that Jesus came and abolished the old covenant or you're in the school of thought that he didn't. If you beleive that he did not abolish the laws then you MUST follow it. Did God tell you to stop the feasts and the sacrifices in his name? Did he tell you to stop killing homosexuals as it says in the old testament? There are soo may laws in the old testament that are outdated and hardly make sense in today's society.

you could also interpret that passage where Christ came to fulfill based on the prophecy in the old testament that stated that he was coming to make a new covenant. He is here to fulfill the prophesies. Coming to fulfill also means coming to complete. So a new beginning can be started. That is what Easter is all about.

My belief is clear as I stated that as prophesied when Jesus came to earth he created a new covenant. Whether you like it or not. Christians are gentiles. Unless you are a Jew that converted into Christianity we are not the original chosen people. That is the simple truth. But since Christs second coming he has included us and created a covenant that included us.

Like I sated previously. Let us leave it at that. We clearly disagree on certain issues. And that doesn't make me or you less of a person or less of a Christian as this issue is not fundamental to Christianity. Discourse is good to learn and grow. And also to accept that people interpret things differently and hold different viewpoints. The Bible is not written clearly at times. But we all have to wait until Jesus comes and takes us to heaven or rewrites the book. Until then intent is what truthfully matters. He who judges last which is jesus Christ will be able to look into our hearts and know that we did not intend to bastardize his will if that's what we did while living in earth.

I enjoyed discussing with you none the less. Have a blessed day

postmann:
Thank you for accepting my apologies.
No one is indeed perfect or have all the answers.
The scriptures isn't very straight forward. I believe GOD in HIS infinite wisdom allowed such that even satan read it and didn't fully understand and he had to murder CHRIST, falling into a trap set for him by GOD.

(1 corinthians 2:7-8

True, the old testament has many obsolete laws and because of this many christians have unduly indulge themselves in cutting out many old testament laws that still stands.
The feasts, sacrifices, offerings, laws of cleanliness and purification, and all other such distinctive outward commandment were abolished.

The 10 comandments which is ofthe old testament stands. And this is a reflection of GOD's moral law. And every other law that CHRIST didn't single out still stands.
Must people still ignore the sabbath even though this is clearly in the commandments and repeated several times through out scripture. But I won't talk about sabbath, it is quite beyond the scope of this thread.
CHRIST came to fulfill the law and not to abolish it. In other words, HE came to put straight that which isn't clear like polygamy or cancel by fulfilling, like sacrifices, purification requirements, etc.
(Matt 5:17-19)

Even when GOD deliberately singled the jews out to make as an example, to display HIS glory to other nations, other non-Jew's were practising GOD's law together with the Jews. The Jews were only an outreach to the entire human race.

The term "modern day Christians" has no biblical backing.The Word of GOD is live! Applicable for all times. It is behind us, right in front of us and ahead of us. It foretells what hasn't even come to be. GOD's moral law is completely unchangeable!


Now to fully understand marriage, there are many scriptures to visit and understand. There are many principles to understand. And you cannot visit marriage without going back to the first marriage and the principle of creation.

Heaven is like earth in many ways, I believe. That's why we as children of GOD are going through purification of soul and character so we might be fit to be entrusted with the charge of GOD's house.
The same vain, marriage was likened to the relationship between man and Christ. HIS blood has been shared and we are HIS. When a man fulfills a marriage right, the woman become his. It's a covenant irrevocable.

The quoted scriptures in Mark 10 : 11 cannot be used in assuming that a woman can divorce her husband over infidelity. It was only a repetition of matt 19:8. Matthew 5:32 is clear. The word "man" did not represent both genders.

In Genesis, GOD fought twice for Abraham, that his wife Sarah might not be defiled by two powerful kings at doffered occasions. Even though Abraham and Sarah were both careless. Now the case was different when Sarah proposed to Abraham her servant girl. GOD didn't intervene.
Even the GODless kings of Egypt and Cannan knew that once a woman is taken in marriage, it is final, save for death of her husband. Hence Abraham tried to save his life by passing as a brother to his wife Sarah. Because he knew that as long as he is alive, no one can marry his wife or defile her without serious spiritual consequences. Even the pagan gods were not neutral in this.


“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

This is the 10th of the 10 commandment. It's implicative meaning is this: woman was created for man and belongs to man. And LOOK VERY CRITICALLY AT 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 10-11 ....IF SHE DOES LEAVE HIM LET HER REMAIN SINGLE OR BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND.And appostle paul said, this command is from the LORD! ....verse 39 " A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives."
Paul's advice in 1cor 10:15 is only an advice as he stressed he didn't have a direct command from the LORD.

This teachings are hard to swallow because of the human heart which is baked hard in the furnace of pride.
As our relationship is with CHRIST, so it is between husbands and wives.
A woman cannot not just wake up and say she is divorcing her husband over infidelity. She can only separate from him and remain single.
As for men, they can't divorce their wives for any other reason save for infidelity.

Sincere4u:
Have met you on a different thread in this forum.
That's your way. I believe you could still cheat even if your husband is faithful.

Am I cheating with your private part?
Get Lost!

EggovinMma:
Am I cheating with your private part?
Get Lost!

You and trouble sha

Go an sleep

zicoraads:
You and trouble sha

Go an sleep

i no fit sleep o.

scribble:
what if if you and your husband cheat together

3sums

Equality in cheating.

Lol. I can't imagine myself doing that. However, the bible does say that the heart is treacherous. Knowing that from the onset, I intend to ensure that I do not create an opportunity for such a relationship with any other male.

Toks2008:
Lmao...walahi you ladies don craze finish..which divorce and wat marriage?

Im enjoying this walahi..oya fire on in your utter confusion and cluelessness.

Oga, you were once married. Why are you denying?
I find it very funny when I see you dish advice to married folks seriously.I really don't have problems with your posts on ROMANCE SECTION, but when it comes to family, please DONT ADVICE ANY BODY! Most times, you allow your shattered marital experience colour your reasoning.

EggovinMma:
Am I cheating with your private part?
Get Lost!

Take it easy baby...don't get so offended. You really don't want me to be lost.

Good morning.
It's not easily summed up that way. Like I said before, the 10 comandments are of the old testament and JESUS didn't come to abolish it. And so many other old testament laws. For every single law of the old testament that needed clarification or outright cancellation, HE made clear while HE walked the earth.
A good example was the woman caught in adultery. So there was no need killing sinners. There are so many examples. HE just didn't leave us in the dark. And the new covenant is HIS blood shared once and for all, replacing the old one requiring animal blood.


But we cannot all agree on everything based on scripture. Hence I'll leave you with Philipians 3:15

Remain blessed.

Memejem:
Like I said before different branches of the Christian religion have distinctly agreed that although divorce is not promoted both male and female may divorce each other for infidelity as well as abandonment. I have done my own research on this and spoken to men and women of God.

If you happen to be Catholic I will say that the Catholic Church does not believe in divorce at all whether it be male or female. Regardless of what the Bible says. This just goes to show how powerful interpretation is. They chose to belive that the passage that states what God has put to get her let no man separate is stronger than the passage where Jesus specifically permits divorce on two grounds.

Also we can't just pick and choose what we don't want to accept in the old testament to our liking. This is why the jews do not acknowledge the new testament because they do not belive that Christ has come. It's either you're in the school of thought that Jesus came and abolished the old covenant or you're in the school of thought that he didn't. If you beleive that he did not abolish the laws then you MUST follow it. Did God tell you to stop the feasts and the sacrifices in his name? Did he tell you to stop killing homosexuals as it says in the old testament? There are soo may laws in the old testament that are outdated and hardly make sense in today's society.

you could also interpret that passage where Christ came to fulfill based on the prophecy in the old testament that stated that he was coming to make a new covenant. He is here to fulfill the prophesies. Coming to fulfill also means coming to complete. So a new beginning can be started. That is what Easter is all about.

My belief is clear as I stated that as prophesied when Jesus came to earth he created a new covenant. Whether you like it or not. Christians are gentiles. Unless you are a Jew that converted into Christianity we are not the original chosen people. That is the simple truth. But since Christs second coming he has included us and created a covenant that included us.

Like I sated previously. Let us leave it at that. We clearly disagree on certain issues. And that doesn't make me or you less of a person or less of a Christian as this issue is not fundamental to Christianity. Discourse is good to learn and grow. And also to accept that people interpret things differently and hold different viewpoints. The Bible is not written clearly at times. But we all have to wait until Jesus comes and takes us to heaven or rewrites the book. Until then intent is what truthfully matters. He who judges last which is jesus Christ will be able to look into our hearts and know that we did not intend to bastardize his will if that's what we did while living in earth.

I enjoyed discussing with you none the less. Have a blessed day

op the world has evolved, women are enlightened and you cant force a woman to stay with a cheating hubby, lie lie i dont see this happening in distant future.

so instead of encouraging this women to live with them cheating hubby, why not preach against infidelity to both parties.

havent you heard stories where wives kill their hubbys, poison them, chop off their pencil, cheat secretly while leaving with their hubbys, will a man be happy to father someones kid, some revenge (whether is foolishness from ur side, she feels better at least. you write up sounds as if their is no consequence for philandering. will you be happy to divorce ur cheating wife, have unstable home, smh the list is endless.

bear in mind that women are financially independent nowadays, she can have another lover after divorce, remarry etc. gone are days where a man cheat and live freely, now he must face consequences of his action and should brace up for more.

Yes let's agree to disagree.

There is not a clarification for every single law or rule in the old testament and you know it. That is a bold overstatement.

Please dont over generalize. We are not God. There will always be questions about religion that man can not answer.

Until Jesus returns or calls us to heaven we will continue to ponder. He didn't just leave us in the dark but we don't have all the answers.


Anyways, let us agree to disagree.

postmann:
Good morning.
It's not easily summed up that way. Like I said before, the 10 comandments are of the old testament and JESUS didn't come to abolish it. And so many other old testament laws. For every single law of the old testament that needed clarification or outright cancellation, HE made clear while HE walked the earth.
A good example was the woman caught in adultery. So there was no need killing sinners. There are so many examples. HE just didn't leave us in the dark. And the new covenant is HIS blood shared once and for all, replacing the old one requiring animal blood.


But we cannot all agree on everything based on scripture. Hence I'll leave you with Philipians 3:15

Remain blessed.