kaffy4tope:
What advise can we give to a married woman with a new baby? You courted him for years so you knew him in & out before walking the aisle with him. Abi you expect us to tell you to leave him or use him as money rituals ni?

You were blindly in love wid him when u still had options of leaving him. My dear, is too late now ooo. Keep praying and advising him, that's your cross you have to carry.



Enjoy your home.

WorriedGal:


I know its my cross already, you don't have to state the painful obvious fact. I'm looking for a way forward or the best way to handle the situation. Before we got married when he was still serving and working, he was helping me out financially from the little they were paying him. If he has, he will spend. But now he's not bothered about ensuring he makes money and that is what i'm concerned about

gabinogem:
Too bad, u took the generosity just too far.


My advice: notify his parents & ur parents about the situation at hand. Notify him 1st before u embark on such. Maybe that will motivate him to get something doing.

PresVA:
I feel you, op... He should atleast hustle no matter how little..
Is there any way you can help him? Like assisting him actualize his projects? You can also help him submit CVs to companies and individuals.... what about raising a lil money to start a small business?
Even bringing someone he respects to talk to him?
He may also be lacking motivation due to 'failures' in his projects; try to encourage him more...
Then, why did he refuse to do any other thing despite his projects not working? What were his reasons? Hope he knows your bank account is red?
Please, don't start disrespecting or nagging him because of this, it will do more harm... I think it's the kinda person he's(not a good one though) and you allowed that all through the relationship until it started choking you..
You just have to be patient and hope he changes. .
All the best

WorriedGal:


If my mum hears of this, she will be devastated. Because its same thing my dad makes her go through sometimes. Tho my dad's case is different because he makes sure she is comfortable but will never drop money for food or bills at home. She does it herself.

I've always read that a wife should support her husband when he's down financially. That is why i did all that, with hopes that soon he'll start making money again. I didn't want to be like those women who vow not to spend their money for a man. Maybe i was wrong

fem29:


My dear stop worrying. At least you know you can make money to fend for yourself a d your baby if worst comes to worst. Just stop enabling him. Right now you need to focus on how to have your baby safely.

Don't mind what this chap said. You do NOT have to carry this cross.

WorriedGal:


He doesn't want to work fulltime under anyone otherwise, it won't take me more than 2weeks to find him a job. I was the one who helped him get a job during his NYSC.
Someone asked him yesterday to submit a proposal for something. I gave him ideas on how it should be. Till now as i'm typing this, he hasnt started writing the proposal and the deadline is tomorrow. I'll still be the one to remind him to write it before he'll make the move.
I was thinking of telling someone who can talk to him, but i don't know if telling a third party about our marital issues is a good idea or not.

WorriedGal:


Thanks a lot. I already told him i'm not going to worry over rent and baby expenses. Its his turn to take over and carry the responsibilities of the home. He said i shouldn't worry, that his projects might actualize before then. That was same promise he gave me in November. Till now i've not seen a dime. So i told him if our rent expires against us, i'll get my things together to go back home to my parents till he realises how serious the situation is.
The cash we have on hand now was given to me by my kid brother. I couldn't fold my hands and do nothing when we ran out of cash because i'll also be suffering my baby. I can't starve with a baby inside me. I was so embarrassed to ask my brother for money when i should be the one giving him. But he understood i'm really in a tight fix, because he knows how much i've spent on him in the past.

WorriedGal:


He has access to my account so he knows its red. He doesn't want to work fulltime under anyone otherwise, it won't take me more than 2weeks to find him a job. I was the one who helped him get a job during his NYSC. Pls focus on taking care of ur self and deliver ur baby for now, all this worries can give you high bp and you know that is not good for ur condition. Pray and commit everything in hands of God. You can go to ur parents house and give birth to ur baby that will give him time to reset his mindset. Pls what do you do?. I need a good business idea or something that i can invest in. Waiting for your reply.
Someone asked him yesterday to submit a proposal for something. I gave him ideas on how it should be. Till now as i'm typing this, he hasnt started writing the proposal and the deadline is tomorrow. I'll still be the one to remind him to write it before he'll make the move.
I was thinking of telling someone who can talk to him, but i don't know if telling a third party about our marital issues is a good idea or not.

chinweAlice816:
Pls focus on taking care of ur self and deliver ur baby for now, all this worries can give you high bp and you know that is not good for ur condition. Pray and commit everything in hands of God. You can go to ur parents house and give birth to ur baby that will give him time to reset his mindset. Pls what do you do?. I need a good business idea or something that i can invest in. Waiting for your reply.

WorriedGal:

Thanks for ur reply and accepting to take care of ur self for the sake ur life and that precious life inside of you. Pls can you send me a mail and tutor me on that, i also want to into blogging and other online business. alicechiwendu@gmail.com. Thanks in anticipation.
Thanks a lot. I'm into social media marketing for brands. I handle most of my jobs from home so i can have time for other things. Its a business that requires skill, experience and good relationship with clients.

Kondomatic:
He is caring, supportive, does chores etc right?


Just forget who has the balls or Vgay, you're the husband and he's the wife so continue being the head of the home.