jadelyn007:
Why is it a big deal that your man must be the one financially responsible for the home? If you can pick the bills then do it, life is too short to argue over who should do what. Like you said, he's an amazing man in every other aspect, so cut him some slack please. What if you were not married, will you not pick your own bills?
Plan your finances, cut all extra costs you cant afford.
Get a job for yourself, there are single pregnant mothers out there who are able to making a living for themselves.
Do same for yourself and don't give yourself high blood pressure!

You are a WICKED person.

May God answer your prayers over your life and give you a jobless, lazy man as a husband. May your entire generations and your daughters be blessed with lazy and weak men who will never work in their lives.

PresVA:
I agree to no third parties too. . However, almost everyone here has also advised same; she goes to her parent's. .. considering her pregnancy is already complicated, I think it's best she goes there for now or asks them for help from her house. Staying and dying in silence is a no no. Nothing lasts forever, that she's asking for help today is no shame because I know she wouldn't ask tomorrow!

Seeking financial help to cushion the troublles she is going through and talking about his lack of drive is two different things.


You said she should talk to someone he respects so they can have a chat with him and make him work harder. That's what i have a snag with.

tearoses:
Acidosis people are who they are at the end of the day and regardless of external challenges, many just get on with it and do whatever they need to do to provide for their family.

I agree it can be very frustrating and sometimes you need encouragement or you just feel like giving up, but the fact that you love your family and their total dependence on you propels you on

Just like a mom who comes back from work dead tired but knows that she still has to wash her kids uniform, pack his lunch box and do whatever that needs to be done to make sure her kid is comfortable. They just find the inner strength and do it.

Many many people are in the posters husbands position; hustling and trying to patch things up and looking for non existent jobs, but they do what they have to do. They have a responsibility and they don't take it lightly.
How will watching movies all day provide for his family?

I visit the agriculture section on this board regularly and I am amazed at what young people are doing for themselves.
Graduates are rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty to put food on their tables.
Nigeria has always been Nigeria. We need to flex to fit into the wonderful situation that we find ourselves courtesy of our wicked leaders.

I perfectly understand you sis. May be she needs to talk more with her hubby or get someone in his family to do the talking.

onegig:
Seeking financial help to cushion the troublles she is going through and talking about his lack of drive is two different things.


You said she should talk to someone he respects so they can have a chat with him and make him work harder. That's what i have a snag with.

Alright. . I understand.
However, I elucidated on the third party issue in my 2nd post; where I specifically said it shouldn't go beyond her parents. .
if she asks her parents for help, they'll surely ask her what's up...

I pray her situation becomes better. ..

tearoses:
Please lets get something straight.
Signing a page in the marriage registry does not change anyone especially something that someone has done for 8 years of his life.
You don't suddenly wake up the next morning after the wedding as a totally different person. You still are who you are before you went to bed last night.

The man has not changedo
The wife wants him to change

He has always been like this
He has put his cards on the table since day one
He has not put down a dime since the day they got married, so how was the wedding paid for?
Leading up to the wedding what were the discussions on their finances and how they will be managed?
I guess the poster paid most of the wedding expenses
Alarm bells have been ringing for years but were ignored maybe due to other positive traits that the man had or "he will change"

He came as a whole package, so one just cant pick the things that one likes about him and discard the others
This sounds like a man who would thrive better as a house husband. There are few men who are like that.
He should have married someone who was comfortable with that kind of set up and that is what I don't like about all of this.

I don't think he will change
Both hubby and wifey are in for a long and bumpy ride because they have different expectations.
Going back to her parents house will even give the man more opportunity to be even more lazy when he knows that his wife is being well looked after at home.
It will even take some of the guilt away from him.

My only advise is to do what you have to do to deliver your baby in good health and go back to work and face your cross.
Pray pray and pray that your husbands projects materialise and when he does get paid, pls find a way of re investing that money so he doesn't squander it all before the next project comes along.

Safe delivery and all the best.

Thank you madam tearoses for your words of wisdom.
I can bet on anything that the OP's husbands projects may never materialise. I am not wishing or praying that it shouldn't, but realistically, its just a ploy to keep giving excuses. Even if the projects are delayed, nothing stops him from having plan B and C on how other income can come in pending when the projects materialises. Like you said, both the OP and hubby are in for a long ride together. However, I still believe the whole situation can still be managed and its not hopeless yet.

jadelyn007:
Economy has carved out a different role for everyone. Moreover society has evolved much.

You are viewing the OP's predicament from a quick-fix angle. The OP is saying that her hubby is not making much effort as a man to put food on the table! Economy carving out roles for everyone is just figurative and relative. Its good for a wife to help when the chips are down for the husband but its not for the husband to take full advantage of it and become lazy thereby relinquishing his role to the wife. Even in the developed countries, husbands are natural breadwinners irrespective of how much the wife makes per month.
Pray that you do not find yourself living with a husband that's lazy and not bringing any income home. Its better to imagine it than experience it.

I can understand where you are coming from. I live in your scenario everyday with my parents. I have vowed not to do same when I get married. Hence I have told my fiance I can support and not carry his load and I have been able to stick to that. I will suggest you fold your hands and not bother , don't nag don't complain just keep looking like he is doing presently. When the meal in your house gets finish I will suggest you pack a weekend bag and go spend some time with your parents . He will sit up when he is hungry and please do not send him money while you are with your peeps. He will look for menial jobs to feed , And before you know it he will also save for your baby. You need to show him tough love without saying a word.

Women like you are just too strong . I love my mum too and I know you are just like her (paying all bills and supporting all her kids dreams). Please try and take a break from your responsibilities, it will help your husband Man up, stop having his back always . It will help him grow.

OP the truth of the matter is, this is the predicament in many homes not just in Nigeria but all over. However, the earlier you nip this in the bud the better for your home now and in the future. Your marriage is still young so hopefully this matter can be solved winth some strong feet on the ground actions.
A lot of good advise have been offered to you, hopefully you will be able to sieve through all of these and pick and apply practical steps for this.
A young man (I am assuming your hubby is less than 35) who insists that he won't work for anybody but himself despite situations glaring him in the face is a very proud and arrogant person. At least if his projects were bringing in some form of finances no matter how little one will understand.
He can easily get a job from all you've said, so what is the big deal with him working for someone now while his projects materialise. If he shows some level of interest in your business, let him get involved at this point when you can't physically manage to do what you usually do, and supervise him.
This may be harsh but I will also advise that you do nothing about the house rent, don't bother running around for the rent, he will understand the severity of the matter when he sees that you have no means of getting the rent. Maybe get a loan (I know you will be able to pay back once baby is here and you are back on your feet) to cater for your needs and health and get things for baby and for nothing more than that. Men like this need to be hit with a harsh reality to wake up, although to some it doesn't matter to them.
Please handle this matter with all firmness so that this stops now, otherwise you will be saddled with a lot of financial responsibilities. I am not against a woman providing financially in the home but she shouldn't be saddled with the entire burden, except it is her choice. But clearly it isn't your choice in this case.
Go back to the drawing board, sit with him and rediscuss financial responsilities in the home with him, who should be responsible for eg rent, groceries, school fees (thinking for the future), cars/fueling, maintenance, miscellaneous spending and stuff like that. This will give both of you a clear direction.
Praying for good health for you and hoping that all works out well for you eventually.

WorriedGal:


I think you're getting me all wrong. If i was feeding myself alone, my account will still be fat and enough to cater for me. But i've been catering for two mouths. If i was single, i won't lack. So yes, if i wasn't married i will pick MY OWN bills, not bills of two persons. Now its not just me and him, but me, him and the baby
I had my finances all planned out but exhausted everything when complications arose in my pregnancy.
Before i stopped working, my account was filled up. Would you sincerely advise me to still keep working despite my situation and fold my hands and watch my own husband do nothing? Is that honestly fair?
If i don't address the issue now, when will i?
I've never been a lazy person. It took me a lot to stop working. I've never fought with him or quarreled with him over the issue. I only call him and we talk about it seriously, but yet no effort from him.
This is not a case of he's jobless, he doesn't want to work for anyone and is placing all his hopes on his projects. The question should be directed to him. If he was single, won't he go out to hustle and feed? Its just frustrating.
That is why i came here to seek opinions for a solution

I didn't say you are lazy, I am only telling you the easiest way to solve your problem. Stop worrying. If you get uncomfortable go to your parents house, or his parents house till you are back on your feet. He will feed himself won't he. Life is not as complicated as we see it.
You have been talking for months yet no change, even with your pregnancy nothing. What next? Will you fight him? Or keep malice or nag, what exactly do you want to tell him that he has not heard before?

Awesome1234:
I can understand where you are coming from. I live in your scenario everyday with my parents. I have vowed not to do same when I get married. Hence I have told my fiance I can support and not carry his load and I have been able to stick to that. I will suggest you fold your hands and not bother , don't nag don't complain just keep looking like he is doing presently. When the meal in your house gets finish I will suggest you pack a weekend bag and go spend some time with your parents . He will sit up when he is hungry and please do not send him money while you are with your peeps. He will look for menial jobs to feed , And before you know it he will also save for your baby. You need to show him tough love without saying a word.

Women like you are just too strong . I love my mum too and I know you are just like her (paying all bills and supporting all her kids dreams). Please try and take a break from your responsibilities, it will help your husband Man up, stop having his back always . It will help him grow.

at least someone is reasoning without being sentimental.
I remember when I had my younger brother living with me, I'd tell him to stop some things but he wouldn't listen. We were constantly on each other's necks until I decided to leave him alone. Today he has learned his lessons from his own mistakes even more than I would have taught him. Getting into trouble a few times was enough to set him straight. Now he asks for my opinion before taking some decisions

obowunmi:


You are a WICKED person.

May God answer your prayers over your life and give you a jobless, lazy man as a husband. May your entire generations and your daughters be blessed with lazy and weak men who will never work in their lives.

you are an idiot! I won't even bother having a civilized conversation with you because this topic is way above your head,gtfoh!

RollingFellas:


You are viewing the OP's predicament from a quick-fix angle. The OP is saying that her hubby is not making much effort as a man to put food on the table! Economy carving out roles for everyone is just figurative and relative. Its good for a wife to help when the chips are down for the husband but its not for the husband to take full advantage of it and become lazy thereby relinquishing his role to the wife. Even in the developed countries, husbands are natural breadwinners irrespective of how much the wife makes per month.
Pray that you do not find yourself living with a husband that's lazy and not bringing any income home. Its better to imagine it than experience it.

not in all countries are men breadwinners. Now that the op has found herself living with a man who doesn't have an income, what do you want her to do that she has not already done and that won't bring disastrous consequences in the nearest future? She has nagged, talked harshly/quietly, prayed, tried to help, what else do you want her to do? Not everybody likes being reported to Tom and Harry. It might make him even more stiffnecked.
Sometimes people learn better alone. Op should leave her husband alone. If there is no food pack your load to his parents house, if they ask you why you are there tell them you are hungry. No need for long explanations. Stay there till you are good enough to leave.

PresVA:
I feel you, op... He should atleast hustle no matter how little..

Is there any way you can help him? Like assisting him actualize his projects? You can also help him submit CVs to companies and individuals.... what about raising a lil money to start a small business?
Even bringing someone he respects to talk to him?
He may also be lacking motivation due to 'failures' in his projects; try to encourage him more...

Then, why did he refuse to do any other thing despite his projects not working? What were his reasons? Hope he knows your bank account is red?

Please, don't start disrespecting or nagging him because of this, it will do more harm... I think it's the kinda person he's(not a good one though) and you allowed that all through the relationship until it started choking you..
You just have to be patient till he changes. .

All the best

so u expect a pregnant woman to still submit his CV's around while he sits his lazy ass at home. plz stop being sentimental

my dear, ur husband behaves exactly like my ex hubby but xtremely violent nd abusive which is why i seperated from him. it was until i left that he had to do any kind of job to feed. he recently started paying for child support since we seperated coz i was d one footing his responsibility.
my being patience only made him more vulnurable nd proud.

i wuld suggest u go to ur parents place for the main time till he decides to look for a job nd fend for u nd his child. as long as u ar still around him he wil not make a move.

by the time hunger deals with him nd he sees u ar not available to cover up for him then he wil go out nd get a job.whatever money u get now,save it for urself nd child til hubby is ready to man up.

jadelyn007:
not in all countries are men breadwinners. Now that the op has found herself living with a man who doesn't have an income, what do you want her to do that she has not already done and that won't bring disastrous consequences in the nearest future? She has nagged, talked harshly/quietly, prayed, tried to help, what else do you want her to do? Not everybody likes being reported to Tom and Harry. It might make him even more stiffnecked.
Sometimes people learn better alone. Op should leave her husband alone. If there is no food pack your load to his parents house, if they ask you why you are there tell them you are hungry. No need for long explanations. Stay there till you are good enough to leave.

God bless u for this advice.

@ jadelyn007

I love your pragmatism. Pretense and sentimentalism makes life very miserable but many people finds it hard to acknowledge these facts.

jadelyn007:
you are an idiot! I won't even bother having a civilized conversation with you because this topic is way above your head,gtfoh!

Two year old offering advice.
You deserve baby talk, googoogaaga

My auntie first advice to any girl that's about to get married in my family comes to mind 'Never show a man that you have money'. A wife's support should only be for necessities unless the man is bedridden. He should go and hustle for the interim till his project manifest. Hope this project is not GNLD ooo. Please relax your mind and trust God,worry does more harm and solves nothing. Consider staying with your people;your life and well being is more important than the shame.

Amhappy:
My auntie first advice to any girl that's about to get married in my family comes to mind 'Never show a man that you have money'. A wife's support should only be for necessities unless the man is bedridden. He should go and hustle for the interim till his project manifest. Hope this project is not GNLD ooo. Please relax your mind and trust God,worry does more harm and solves nothing. Consider staying with your people;your life and well being is more important than the shame.

Soo very true. Always say there is no money ooo sadly, cry sef. Oja o ta ooo. No sales. They cut my salary etc etc etc.

My mum made that mistake and I too have learnt the hard way.

People, its more than fold your hands and look

When rent doesn't get paid, the landlord will come and shout at both of them......it will be embarrassing for both and even more painful to her because its not as if she isn't working.

When he starts to get food and other things on credit from local shops and mama puts, when they come to their gate and start shouting it will affect her too.

The shame will affect her too, so she cant just sit-down and look.

I really feel for her, because this is not a simple case of you go your way I go my way. They are married so the insults will be to both of them.

I hope the guy sits up.

WorriedGal:
Hello nairalanders, I'm in a situation that has been giving me sleepless nights. This is a new account i created just to protect my identity.
I got married 11 months ago to my best friend. We dated for about 8yrs before we got married, though we broke up in between and were apart for about 3yrs before finally coming back together again.
Part of the reasons why i broke up with him was, he took advantage of the fact that i was the type who doesn't ask him for anything. If i even collect money from him when we were dating, i always give him back and he'll take it. Because of that, he too didn't bother spending on me. He never took the initiative to buy me things or took me out as other boyfriends do. So i felt he didn't appreciate the fact that i'm not a demanding girlfriend. Though there was a time i had issues from home and didn't have money for my rent, he raised the money for me. That is the only time he gave me cash. And that is something i never forgot.
Fast forward to the present, he's currently not working. He is an entrepreneur who has been pursuing one project or another. While i'm also an entrepreneur but i have lots of clients i work with, so i'm the only one who brings in money to the home. The house we are living in, i paid 80% of the rent and the furnishing was entirely from my pocket. The car we are using, i got it with my money. I've been the one taking care of every single expenses in the house since we got married last year. I also make sure he gets clothes for himself with my money. When i get paid by clients, sometimes i give him money to send home to his parents and i send to mine as well.
He hasn't brought a dime home since after our wedding.
But he has been very very supportive, caring and faithful. Sometimes he takes me to my meetings with clients and waits for me till i'm done. He helps with house chores most times when i'm tired.
My problem now is, i know it is the responsibility of the man to provide for the home. I've advised that he gets a job for the meantime until his projects actualize, so that he can at least be bringing something home. But he refused. I have access to all his atms and his phone so its not a case of he's hiding his money.
Right now, i'm unable to work due to complications from my pregnancy so money is no longer coming from my end. Our rent expires in two months. Baby will arrive in months. But we are penniless. I've exhausted all my savings on hospital bills and our home expenses. I've asked him twice what's the plan, and he said he's still hoping on his projects. I asked him to at least look for something to do for now so we can gather our rent but he's sluggish about it. Everyday he'll just sit at home with me and be sleeping or watching movies.
I've gotten to my boiling point. I'm frustrated. If i had been saving my money since i got married, i would have saved up to 2 million naira. But now i have nothing. What do i do? Is there any mistake i made?
It's a very confusing situation because he gives me all the support and care i need, but he himself does not go out there to hustle and make sure money comes in for us to at least feed. The money with me now won't last us more than this week.
Please help me with matured advice & sorry for the long writeup.

opp i will tell you the truth.no man wants a family he cannot tke care of.if a man can gives u access into his acounts as well as refuse to cheat on you,he truly loves you and can do anything for you.but just like some men hates the idea of being an entreprenuer,some other men hates the idea of working for others.dont nag,just keep talking to him and try to make him understand how much you need support right now.

tearoses:
People, its more than fold your hands and look

When rent doesn't get paid, the landlord will come and shout at both of them......it will be embarrassing for both and even more painful to her because its not as if she isn't working.

When he starts to get food and other things on credit from local shops and mama puts, when they come to their gate and start shouting it will affect her too. o

The shame will affect her too, so she cant just sit-down and look.

I really feel for her, because this is not a simple case of you go your way I go my way. They are married so the insults will be to both of them.

I hope the guy sits up.

I totally agree with you.

misreal:
opp i will tell you the truth.no man wants a family he cannot tke care of.if a man can gives u access into his acounts as well as refuse to cheat on you,he truly loves you and can do anything for you.but just like some men hates the idea of being an entreprenuer,some other men hates the idea of working for others.dont nag,just keep talking to him and try to make him understand how much you need support right now.

He he he *in igbo accent*
Speaking in local dialet
Hwp$sa xbbkpsohxlapaksvdvtteowamn!hdhsa

dytbabe:


He he he *in igbo accent*
Speaking in local dialet
Hwp$sa xbbkpsohxlapaksvdvtteowamn!hdhsa

hhaahhhhahh.u quoted me just to speak igbo?hahahaahahaah.....i like ur sense of humor.

the summary of the whole thing is that the girl was blinded by love and the need to have a man, hence she indulged him for too long.

as per the guy he is plain lazy and refuses to face up to reality. and when someone is so lazy you cant use words or motivation to get him out of it. he needs a rude awakening. its like a smoker, no matter how much they say smokers will die young, he will never stop until he gets a cancer. therefore you need to wake him up with a dirty slap

my advice is as follows
1 don't go to your parents house or any third party, you will regret it on the long run cos you will be heavily shamed one day. moreso he will probably get lazier and abandon you there and lean on friends to sort him out. since he is lazy I guess his cost of living will be low, and easy to satisfy

2 get an hmo if its not too late, at least to be sure you wont die from health conditions, and to have the peace of mind that medical bill wont throw you off balance

once you have secured that side, then write out the bills for the next one year or so, rent, childbirth, naming, other expenses, feeding, domestic bills etc and give it to him and tell him you will be on maternity leave for the next few months so he can look for a way to sort it out , beg borrow or steal, its up to him. juts tell him gently, lovingly and firmly, you can even write a letter to him so he can take time to digest the situation well. I think he is living in a dream, you really need to slap him to wake up

finally wen you have done this then you start to act the b1tch and make his life uncomfortable in the house. no one can sit comfortably on a hot stove. make it hot for him dear. if you don't know how to be a b1tch just watch a few Nigerian movies you will learn a thing or 2. keep tightening the screw until he get the point you are making

a final word for you, you need to do everything to resolve the problem and turn the situation around and make him the man of the house. it is your responsibility cos you brought all these on yourself. you knew he was lazy you went ahead and marry and him and started pampering and "mummying" him and shielding him from the real world

as per the guy who wrote that he has been hustling for fuel all day, don't compare yourself with this nigga, he would never hustle, rather he will let his pregnant wife carry kegs and go and struggle with okada riders at the station

Yss

tearoses:
People, its more than fold your hands and look

When rent doesn't get paid, the landlord will come and shout at both of them......it will be embarrassing for both and even more painful to her because its not as if she isn't working.

When he starts to get food and other things on credit from local shops and mama puts, when they come to their gate and start shouting it will affect her too.

The shame will affect her too, so she cant just sit-down and look.

I really feel for her, because this is not a simple case of you go your way I go my way. They are married so the insults will be to both of them.

I hope the guy sits up.

She needs to do this now. Yes if they come she has to bear it!. If she gets up runs out and borrows money to sort things out he will NEVER change, he will always feel like if things get really bad she will find a solution.

He needs that visceral push of literally there is no food to eat. You can say he can be a house husband but I can bet you a million dollars he will refuse to do all the things a house wife would normally do in the house, he will say 'she is trying to make him a houseboy just because he doesn't have money '.

Dyt:
I can't blv the men on this thread
Even acidosis blaming on govt?
And 5minsmadness exploring his 5 mins madness


It is well for this generation of men
Hianus

I wasn't even going to comment, till i saw yours. Exactly my thoughts, I doubt they even read OP's words..... And even having the guts to conclude with "women don't nag your husbands blah blah blah"

Like are you kidding me right now? They will stick up for each other so much, even when they err..... It's ridiculous.

OP, you need to give it to him straight. Forget nagging, which I can see you don't do. But you're apparently way too nice to him. I dislike coddling in serious relationships. Tell him that the idea of "not wanting to work under someone" is all well and good, but u guys dont have money and he needs to do something about that. And fast. Till then his preferences can wait. Let him get a normal job like other people, does he think everyone likes their work? Male and female, so many people hate their jobs or just plain are uninterested. Doesnt mean they don't do it because owo ni koko and people have responsibilities. Not that you should be mean when saying these things, but but be frank.

Btw, is he the youngest child in his family?

MrsPhyno:

I wasn't even going to comment, till i saw yours. Exactly my thoughts, I doubt they even read OP's words..... And even having the guts to conclude with "women don't nag your husbands blah blah blah"

Like are you kidding me right now? They will stick up for each other so much, even when they err..... It's ridiculous.

OP, you need to give it to him straight. Forget nagging, which I can see you don't do. But you're apparently way too nice to him. I dislike coddling in serious relationships. Tell him that the idea of "not wanting to work under someone" is all well and good, but u guys dont have money and he needs to do something about that. And fast. Till then his preferences can wait. Let him get a normal job like other people, does he think everyone likes their work? Male and female, so many people hate their jobs or just plain are uninterested. Doesnt mean they don't do it because owo ni koko and people have responsibilities. Not that you should be mean when saying these things, but but be frank.

Btw, is he the youngest child in his family?

Please I want to work. Can you give me a job?

Acidosis:


Please I want to work. Can you give me a job?

Please go and look for President Buhari and ask him.

MrsPhyno:

Please go and look for President Buhari and ask him.

You said he should go and get a job like normal people, when we all understand the situation out there...

I'm not encouraging laziness but I'm one of those people who kick against "monkey dey work, baboon dey chop." We all know there are many jobs out there, but how many of these jobs can sustain a family?

In any case, I believe a man has to take care of his family whether the economy is bad or not. I'm just being careful not to castigate an 'innocent' man since I've also been a victim of unemployment.

Couples should also try and make a balance between their earnings and spendings. A man and a woman whose gross monthly earning is less than N200k has no business staying in a 3 bedroom flat in Lagos. On most occasion, the issue has always been about poor management. Why should we begin our matrimonial journey in a 3 bedroom flat when we could save about 80% of that rent by simply relocating to to a 2 bedroom in Ikorodu?

This might sound unnecessary here but I'm sure OP and her husband will bounce back. It is just a phase that will pass as there is hardly any family without issues, finance especially (I don't want to believe the man has never contributed a penny to the upkeep of his family ever since he got married).

Btw, why this?

Btw, is he the youngest child in his family?

I hope you're not trying to create a correlation between laziness and 'last borns'

Acidosis:


You said he should go and get a job like normal people, when we all understand the situation out there...

I'm not encouraging laziness but I'm one of those people who kick against "monkey dey work, baboon dey chop." We all know there are many jobs out there, but how many of these jobs can sustain a family?

In any case, I believe a man has to take care of his family whether the economy is bad or not. I'm just being careful not to castigate an 'innocent' man since I've also been a victim of unemployment.

Couples should also try and make a balance between their earnings and spendings. A man and a woman whose gross monthly earning is less than N200k has no business staying in a 3 bedroom flat in Lagos. On most occasion, the issue has always been about poor management. Why should we begin our matrimonial journey in a 3 bedroom flat when we could save about 80% of that rent by simply relocating to to a 2 bedroom in Ikorodu?

This might sound unnecessary here but I'm sure OP and her husband will bounce back. It is just a phase that will pass as there is hardly any family without issues, finance especially (I don't want to believe the man has never contributed a penny to the upkeep of his family ever since he got married).

Btw, why this?

I hope you're not trying to create a correlation between laziness and 'last borns'

Ok um. What you're saying now is different from what you said originally.

This isnt about lofty ideals of whether men should work or women or how much or why unemployment is bad. Bae said she can get a job for the hubby as long as he's willing to complete some minor application steps and of course, do the actual work. Hubby says he doesn't want to work under anyone. He wants to be an entrepreneur or something.
I don't see what that has to do with her being whiny or naggy or not, and thats what I said.

Uh ok, lemme leave lastborns out of it then