daretodiffer:


1) Is this the first time he would be assaulting her?
2) Does he get drunk often?
3)Does he abuse her emotionally or financially etc


Address this question in a family meeting, find the root causes, resolve it. Advice him to stop drinking., that seems to be the trigger. Let him understand the distress he has caused her. Tell your sister that if it happens again, she must tell you. If he hits her again, he is never going to stop. Let him know that you would taking legal action.

DO NOT LET HIM PUT THE BLAME ON YOUR SISTER. ABUSERS ARE VERY GOOD AT SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITY AND TURNING A NON-ISSUE INTO A BIG ISSUE

Advice him to stop drinking? Men aren't wired like that. In the first place they're probably not buddies and he'll never stop drinking, neither will he stop abusing her emotionally and physically.

It takes a lot of contempt to actually beat sb up. The moment he feels that much contempt for her...

I admit getting him beat up may not totally solve the problem. It may in fact bring more animosity. But damn, I'll reset his brain first for even trying then call truce later.

Before the weakling kills my only sister

@OP You are asking us what should you do?

What would you do @op? Make you ansa us too

Thank God I don't have a sister and I don't pray to have a female child. I can kill because of this type of nonesense. Pls OP kindly make use of the gøod advice here, am sure u are matured.

if you have nothing sensible to say, kindly hush it.

Domestic violence is such a serious issue has cost women their lives and in saner climes that man would be in jail and all you can say is that it is none of his business?

ATMC:
It is none of your business actually.

Your sister should handle it any how that gives her satisfaction.

Bimpe29:
The only and holy thing you are to do is to support your sister's marriage and family with prayers. Then always encourage her to do all that's capable of promoting her marriage.
However, it is pertinent to ask you not to interfere and trespass. It is their family, learn to exercise caution. She is your sister though, but she is his wife and confidant.
Pray, Encourage and Advise.
It is well.

seriously? He should Pray, encourage and keep advising his sister as she keeps enjoying beating everyday? Seriously? So she is doing things which do not promote her marriage, hence she deserves beatings and being cheated upon, seriously?

Why did you bother to comment sef?

OP, for now, what you can do is talk calmly to the husband and make him see the error of his ways, but if he continues to do this, your sister needs to get her ass out of that house.

This kind thing never happen before nd ur sister would have gone to their pastor or their sponsor not u pls don't listen to those that's telling u to confront ur in law.

johnson232:

instead of doing all these and taking laws into ur hands, why not advise him to convince the sister to divorce the man?

Divorce after 2 kids?

Nah fam, na 'till death do us part' by hook or by crook.

No divorce in my books.

Seek for your Pastor's counsel & Elderly pple in both families before taking any decision on ur own! If d beating persists, both sides shld let both of dem go on-break! God bless you!

chlowi:


Pleas take this advice

My kind of woman.

daretodiffer:


1) Is this the first time he would be assaulting her?
2) Does he get drunk often?
3)Does he abuse her emotionally or financially etc


Address this question in a family meeting, find the root causes, resolve it. Advice him to stop drinking., that seems to be the trigger. Let him understand the distress he has caused her. Tell your sister that if it happens again, she must tell you. If he hits her again, he is never going to stop. Let him know that you would taking legal action.

DO NOT LET HIM PUT THE BLAME ON YOUR SISTER. ABUSERS ARE VERY GOOD AT SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITY AND TURNING A NON-ISSUE INTO A BIG ISSUE

Nonsense,which Yeye family meeting is that.. If you're the one invole you'll know how it is.the first and last guy that did that to one of my sister was so unfourtunate that I was around when he came to our house that my sister should follow him back home after beating her. Although,I wan unable to reach him due to some interventions but in his entire life. The rage he saw from me that God rescued him that people were around to stop me will never,I mean never allow him to say or do anything to her again. He sent people to beg the family and me expecially. But I told them the only apology I'll accept from him is not to ever in his LIFE lay his hands on my sis again.Now,my sis is Living like queen in the house cos anytime we talked,she do mention it and glad she's happy.. I don't know the guys' ability but I'll never take that from any man.even if he's a soldier. then everyone will have to display his POWER and connections.shikena. I don't know you're this weak sef.

9jacrip:
Dude, pay thugs to beat that dude up, slaps here and there and if possible they flash a gun at him to put the fear of God in him.

A day or two after if you want to, call his phone and let him know if he ever lays a finger on a strand of hair on your sister again, it could get worse. I'll suggest you do not call, whenever it happens just get him beat up worse than before, he'll put 2 & 2 together and stop it.

Meeting him one on one makes no sense. It will further fuel his sense of importance which would earn you taunts behind your back and further make your sister appear helpless for running to a man who just wants to 'talk' and tell him how to handle is marriage.

Some men are just completely foolish, no matter how a woman angers you there's always the options of keeping mute to de-escalate the matter or you walk off to let matters ease off.

Bro, just go and Bleep him up. A black eye, cut lips and cuts on his body here and there will do the trick. Else, the beating will go on and possibly you may never hear of it again because your sis may decide to keep it to herself because you won't change anything if all you do is just talk.

Get him!

Correct talk, the beating would restore his factory settings, I like the flashing gun aspect...he go piss 4 body tire.

The truth is that if you confront him you would definitely make things worse. For anybody telling you to confront him is trying to make matters worse besides it may result one of you killing each other and after that had I known and Satan would be blamed. Try talk to the man when he is in right state of mind and talk to your sister to be prayerful about it and avoid whatever that could cause problem between them.

Bolade005:

Typical. Very typical. Wait, is this a BAN ideology or what?

Eran.

This has nothing to do with the fraternity. It is family business that has to be attended to. You can't batter my sister, that is not going to slide. Talks and diplomacy won't stop it, the ball is already rolling and beatings will continue except force is used.

Never had to lay a hand on anyone, even a female. I treat my ladies as equals and not subordinate, anything different to my sister will be met with proper man to man resistance.

daretodiffer:


1) Is this the first time he would be assaulting her?
2) Does he get drunk often?
3)Does he abuse her emotionally or financially etc


Address this question in a family meeting, find the root causes, resolve it. Advice him to stop drinking., that seems to be the trigger. Let him understand the distress he has caused her. Tell your sister that if it happens again, she must tell you. If he hits her again, he is never going to stop. Let him know that you would taking legal action.

DO NOT LET HIM PUT THE BLAME ON YOUR SISTER. ABUSERS ARE VERY GOOD AT SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITY AND TURNING A NON-ISSUE INTO A BIG ISSUE

Nonsense,which Yeye family meeting is that.. If you're the one invole you'll know how it is.the first and last guy that did that to one of my sister was so unfourtunate that I was around when he came to our house that my sister should follow him back home after beating her. Although,I wan unable to reach him due to some interventions but in his entire life. The rage he saw from me that God rescued him that people were around to stop me will never,I mean never allow him to say or do anything to her again. He sent people to beg the family and me expecially. But I told them the only apology I'll accept from him is not to ever in his LIFE lay his hands on my sis again.Now,my sis is Living like queen in the house cos anytime we talked,she do mention it and I'm glad she's happy.Nonsense.I don't know the guys' ability but I'll never take that from any man.even if he's a soldier. then everyone will have to display his POWER and connections.shikena. I don't know you're this weak sef.well, family meeting is neccessary but not until I might have disfigured his face and legs and also made sure my sis never goes back there to take care of him until he bares the pain himself..

seunajia:


Advice him to stop drinking? Men aren't wired like that. In the first place they're probably not buddies and he'll never stop drinking, neither will he stop abusing her emotionally and physically.

It takes a lot of contempt to actually beat sb up. The moment he feels that much contempt for her...

I admit getting him beat up may not totally solve the problem. It may in fact bring more animosity. But damn, I'll reset his brain first for even trying then call truce later.

Before the weakling kills my only sister

When it comes to family, I love the carrot and stick approach.

Dare him to do it a second time, no one would blame the OP if he puts the man in hospital for the rest of his life.


You don't have to worry about murde because I don't think his second attempt will escalate that fast


Ermmm...what do you mean by men are not wired like that?

Rotab4life:


Funny advise. Easier said than done. Telling the OP to beat him..lol

1. What if his brother-in-law is stronger
2.Who will bear the cross after their tussle. His sister of course.

I believe you should sit him down like a man and tell him about your disapproval of such act. Also state any repetition of such could make you involve law enforcement or he should be ready to take whatever he sees. Lastly intervening in a married couple's issue is sometimes a waste of time. They do sort out themselves..Be wise

Get thugs to do the job for you

Getting hands on him will create fear in him.

Most mem who beat women are generally whimps when faced with equal or superior manly strength anyways.

noblegrex:
Nonsense,which Yeye family meeting is that.. If you're the one invole you'll know how it is.the first and last guy that did that to one of my sister was so unfourtunate that I was around when he came to our house that my sister should follow him back home after beating her. Although,I wan unable to reach him due to some interventions but in his entire life. The rage he saw from me that God rescued him that people were around to stop me will never,I mean never allow him to say or do anything to her again. He sent people to beg the family and me expecially. But I told them the only apology I'll accept from him is not to ever in his LIFE lay his hands on my sis again.Now,my sis is Living like queen in the house cos anytime we talked,she do mention it and glad she's happy.. I don't know the guys' ability but I'll never take that from any man.even if he's a soldier. then everyone will have to display his POWER and connections.shikena. I don't know you're this weak sef.

Family meeting means he will bring his family to the Op's and he would sit down and issue them a collective warning.

This is not weakness but strength. It is a matter of setting him up and justifying whatever comes after. Give him a carrot and hide the stick. Let him mess up again and you have my permission to kill him.

9jacrip:


Eran.

This has nothing to do with the fraternity. It is family business that has to be attended to. You can't batter my sister, that is not going to slide. Talks and diplomacy won't stop it, the ball is already rolling and beatings will continue except force is used.

Never had to lay a hand on anyone, even a female. I treat my ladies as equals and not subordinate, anything different to my sister will be met with proper man to man resistance.

That would be true if the wife's family are made up of losers. For example, I have seen a situation whereby they asked the wife to beg the husband after everything. However if he knows that you will literally kill him and your sister is not afraid of leaving and dealing with him, there is no way he would continue. Also having a family or friends or a strong personality would deter him.

Domestic abuse is all about power and control. and you do not need violence to show him what you are capable for

@OP
Please don't listen to most of these foolish and childish advice here.
I have been married for eleven years now and have never, and will never beat my wife despite her sins.
Your in-law is entirely wrong for beating your sister (but note that he was in stupor then), but your sister is very very wrong to have confronted him like that at such stupor condition and making unproved assertions about his boxers. There could be so many reasons a man could UnCloth his undies away from home.
You are not in any right position to confront the guy for whatsoever reason, your dad is in the best position to do that, but if he's not around you can go with matured married man to go and talk with him as family matters and not as fight-back. Condemn your sister's reaction in his presence, then ask your sister out so you and the elder can talk to the guy and caution him NEVER to beat her again for any reason whatsoever, instead he should report to your family first if any issue he felt he cannot handle arises. Then call your sister back and caution the man in her presence finally and ask your sister to embrace and kiss him right there, then ask the man to promise your sister right there that he will never never raise his hand against her again. Chikeena.

BUTCHCASSIDY:

That one go be 2-0

Na so.

daretodiffer:


When it comes to family, I love the carrot and stick approach.

Dare him to do it a second time, no one would blame the OP if he puts the man in hospital for the rest of his life.


You don't have to worry about murde because I don't think his second attempt will escalate that fast

There's a danger in toeing a conciliatory path with a brute like him. This is becoming too rampant. I'll take the stick and carrot approach.

He'll probably go and challenge and beat her up again. And his sister may be too embarrassed to confide in him again.

DSFDF though.

Edit for "Men are not wired that way".

As a man, you don't just walk up to another man that way, you'll be at a disadvantage. There has to be some spark, you know...

9jacrip:
Dude, pay thugs to beat that dude up, slaps here and there and if possible they flash a gun at him to put the fear of God in him.

A day or two after if you want to, call his phone and let him know if he ever lays a finger on a strand of hair on your sister again, it could get worse. I'll suggest you do not call, whenever it happens just get him beat up worse than before, he'll put 2 & 2 together and stop it.

Meeting him one on one makes no sense. It will further fuel his sense of importance which would earn you taunts behind your back and further make your sister appear helpless for running to a man who just wants to 'talk' and tell him how to handle is marriage.

Some men are just completely foolish, no matter how a woman angers you there's always the options of keeping mute to de-escalate the matter or you walk off to let matters ease off.

Bro, just go and Bleep him up. A black eye, cut lips and cuts on his body here and there will do the trick. Else, the beating will go on and possibly you may never hear of it again because your sis may decide to keep it to herself because you won't change anything if all you do is just talk.

Get him!

u make sense die

9jacrip:


Eran.

This has nothing to do with the fraternity. It is family business that has to be attended to. You can't batter my sister, that is not going to slide. Talks and diplomacy won't stop it, the ball is already rolling and beatings will continue except force is used.

Never had to lay a hand on anyone, even a female. I treat my ladies as equals and not subordinate, anything different to my sister will be met with proper man to man resistance.

Baalu.

Eye for an eye makes the world go blind and they should teach you that in your fraternity. What if the thugs are careless and they kill him, isn't it possible if he was fighting back and they just decide to silent him?

Your advise is good but it's too early to resort to that on a first beating.

seunajia:


There's a danger in toeing a conciliatory path with a brute like him. This is becoming too rampant. I'll take the stick and carrot approach.

He'll probably go and challenge and beat her up again. And his sister may be too embarrassed to confide in him again.

DSFDF though.

Well, I disagree.

Why would she be embarrassed? He must ask her to tell lhim.

Bolade005:

Baalu.

Eye for an eye makes the world go blind and they should teach you that in your fraternity. What if the thugs are careless and they kill him, isn't it possible if he was fighting back and they just decide to silent him?

Your advise is good but it's too early to resort to that on a first beating.

If you have a problem with BAN, www.alorasealords.com, drop a petition to relay whatever your problem is.

Everything you have said are based on what ifs.

Clear directives, touch him a bit and make sure he fears for his life.

daretodiffer:



Well, I disagree.

Why would she be embarrassed? He must ask her to tell lhim.

We've had this happen a lot of times. Women wearing make up to cover up assault by supposed better halves.

Better safe than sorry.

daretodiffer:


That would be true if the wife's family are made up of losers. For example, I have seen a situation whereby they asked the wife to beg the husband after everything. However if he knows that you will literally kill him and your sister is not afraid of leaving and dealing with him, there is no way he would continue. Also having a family or friends or a strong personality would deter him.

Domestic abuse is all about power and control. and you do not need violence to show him what you are capable for

I don't subscribe to this but it is cool. As long as it stops him from ever repeating it.

9jacrip:


If you have a problem with BAN, www.alorasealords.com, drop a petition to relay whatever your problem is.

Everything you have said are based on what ifs.

Clear directives, touch him a bit and make sure he fears for his life.

Do I have a problem with a mimic, pseudo-fraternity? Naaah. I'm just trying to educate you and if your fraternity has done it's own job I wouldn't be needing to school you again that violence should never be an option or atleast not the first option.

Touch him a bit?, brother, people have died from just "pushing" them.

And hey bro, I got a million problem and your fraternity ain't one.

Safe.

halfricanadian:
First get ur sister out of his home

Next if he doesnt look for her she is with the wrong man


If he comes looking for her let him go tru a lpt to habe her bck so he can treat her well wen he sees ow hard he went tru to av her

Correct

Bolade005:

Do I have a problem with a mimic, pseudo-fraternity? Naaah. I'm just trying to educate you and if your fraternity has done it's own job I wouldn't be needing to school you again that violence should never be an option or atleast not the first option.

Touch him a bit?, brother, people have died from just "pushing" them.

And hey bro, I got a million problem and your fraternity ain't one.

Safe.

I hope someone doesn't have to batter your sister and not kill her in the process or in the long term before you understand instilling fear in the head of women beater is the key.

Enjoy.

seunajia:


We've had this happen a lot of times. Women wearing make up to cover up assault by supposed better halves.

Better safe than sorry.

Read my post again

It starts bit by bit.

This is first time

The second time is not going to be that serious...that is if there would be a second time.

Guy warn am seriously make him eye clear first then talk to his mum about it then go back and make him apologize to your sister