9jacrip:



I hope someone doesn't have to batter your sister and not kill her in the process or in the long term before you understand instilling fear in the head of women beater is the key.

Enjoy.

I'm from a rugged family. I'm sure he'd think twice before hurting my sister and God forbids, if it happens, resorting to violence wouldn't be the first option.

Enjoy

I am going through the same thing, thinking of getting a divorce but also thinking about my child's future. Am confused

Bolade005:

I'm from a rugged family. I'm sure he'd think twice before hurting my sister and God forbids, if it happens, resorting to violence wouldn't be the first option.

Enjoy

I hear that.

To each, his own.

I would rather stop it with violence rather than risk having my sister shut me out and die inside from the continuous coded beatings.

daretodiffer:
Read my post again

It starts bit by bit.

This is first time

The second time is not going to be that serious...that is if there would be a second time.

I shan't

But like I said before, each to his own. Cheers.

INTROVERT:




Can God change some animals called men >:

all human are animals

9jacrip:


Divorce after 2 kids?

Nah fam, na 'till death do us part' by hook or by crook.

No divorce in my books.

but your advise is worse than divorce

u sound like a woman, are u m or f?

9jacrip:
Dude, pay thugs to beat that dude up, slaps here and there and if possible they flash a gun at him to put the fear of God in him.

A day or two after if you want to, call his phone and let him know if he ever lays a finger on a strand of hair on your sister again, it could get worse. I'll suggest you do not call, whenever it happens just get him beat up worse than before, he'll put 2 & 2 together and stop it.

Meeting him one on one makes no sense. It will further fuel his sense of importance which would earn you taunts behind your back and further make your sister appear helpless for running to a man who just wants to 'talk' and tell him how to handle is marriage.

Some men are just completely foolish, no matter how a woman angers you there's always the options of keeping mute to de-escalate the matter or you walk off to let matters ease off.

Bro, just go and Bleep him up. A black eye, cut lips and cuts on his body here and there will do the trick. Else, the beating will go on and possibly you may never hear of it again because your sis may decide to keep it to herself because you won't change anything if all you do is just talk.

Get him!

what sort of advice is this? cultist?

Last2comment:
My sister has been married to him for about 2years now and they have a beautiful baby.

According to my sister " He came back home this morning (1am) drenched in alcohol. His first complain was that my sister didn't come out to open the gate for him quick enough. She apologised and said she slept off waiting for him to come back. On entering the room she discovered as he was pulling off, that his boxers were "inside out". She asked him why that was as she saw him dress before he left him the previous day and that he was dressed correctly. She then told him that if he is playing any games outside he should always use protection so as not to infect her with STI. That was when he started beating and slapping her. She was crying as she was telling me this morning.

I calmed her down and told her to read her bible as she was already talking about having her own pound of flesh back. I also told her that whenever he comes home drunk she should do everything he asks to avoid further confrontations and wait till his head is "correct" before talking with him.

My problem now is that, how do I confront the man as I intend going to their house later on today. My major problem is that he should not lay his hands on my sister again coz that's what gonna make be go ballistic and nuclear simultaneously.


Advice me. Thanks.

Many ways to skin a lion, since he's a confirm drunkard, invite him out buy him bottles of drink let him shark himself then draw his ears to warn him seriously from touching ur sister. If u re not the drinking type, go with heavy bouncers to ur sisters house when the he goat is around, show ur displeasure and let him know that he's lucky u re in ur right state of mind, if he's reaction is calm and sober just warn him otherwise lay him flat and koboko him.
Else carry ur Bible and begin to bind and cast.

repogirl:
seriously? He should Pray, encourage and keep advising his sister as she keeps enjoying beating everyday? Seriously? So she is doing things which do not promote her marriage, hence she deserves beatings and being cheated upon, seriously?

Why did you bother to comment sef?

OP, for now, what you can do is talk calmly to the husband and make him see the error of his ways, but if he continues to do this, your sister needs to get her ass out of that house.

I still maintain my position. What the situation require is Prayer.
It is the only thing that will change his brother in law for the better.
No matter how good your solutions may be, without divine favour, it will not be effective.
So prayer it is ma'am.
However, he was not like that before.

Last2comment:
My sister has been married to him for about 2years now and they have a beautiful baby.

According to my sister " He came back home this morning (1am) drenched in alcohol. His first complain was that my sister didn't come out to open the gate for him quick enough. She apologised and said she slept off waiting for him to come back. On entering the room she discovered as he was pulling off, that his boxers were "inside out". She asked him why that was as she saw him dress before he left him the previous day and that he was dressed correctly. She then told him that if he is playing any games outside he should always use protection so as not to infect her with STI. That was when he started beating and slapping her. She was crying as she was telling me this morning.

I calmed her down and told her to read her bible as she was already talking about having her own pound of flesh back. I also told her that whenever he comes home drunk she should do everything he asks to avoid further confrontations and wait till his head is "correct" before talking with him.

My problem now is that, how do I confront the man as I intend going to their house later on today. My major problem is that he should not lay his hands on my sister again coz that's what gonna make be go ballistic and nuclear simultaneously.


Advice me. Thanks.

There are always 2 sides to a coin. Have you called to ask the man what transpired between them? In as much I dont support beating women. There are times their brain needs resetting.

9jacrip:
Dude, pay thugs to beat that dude up, slaps here and there and if possible they flash a gun at him to put the fear of God in him.

A day or two after if you want to, call his phone and let him know if he ever lays a finger on a strand of hair on your sister again, it could get worse. I'll suggest you do not call, whenever it happens just get him beat up worse than before, he'll put 2 & 2 together and stop it.

Meeting him one on one makes no sense. It will further fuel his sense of importance which would earn you taunts behind your back and further make your sister appear helpless for running to a man who just wants to 'talk' and tell him how to handle is marriage.

Some men are just completely foolish, no matter how a woman angers you there's always the options of keeping mute to de-escalate the matter or you walk off to let matters ease off.

Bro, just go and Bleep him up. A black eye, cut lips and cuts on his body here and there will do the trick. Else, the beating will go on and possibly you may never hear of it again because your sis may decide to keep it to herself because you won't change anything if all you do is just talk.

Get him!

Epic

adelekeaka:


There are always 2 sides to a coin. Have you called to ask the man what transpired between them? In as much I dont support beating women. There are times their brain needs resetting.

One day monkey go enter mkt e no go come back again. Use ur tongue count ur teeth

9jacrip:
Dude, pay thugs to beat that dude up, slaps here and there and if possible they flash a gun at him to put the fear of God in him.

A day or two after if you want to, call his phone and let him know if he ever lays a finger on a strand of hair on your sister again, it could get worse. I'll suggest you do not call, whenever it happens just get him beat up worse than before, he'll put 2 & 2 together and stop it.

Meeting him one on one makes no sense. It will further fuel his sense of importance which would earn you taunts behind your back and further make your sister appear helpless for running to a man who just wants to 'talk' and tell him how to handle is marriage.

Some men are just completely foolish, no matter how a woman angers you there's always the options of keeping mute to de-escalate the matter or you walk off to let matters ease off.

Bro, just go and Bleep him up. A black eye, cut lips and cuts on his body here and there will do the trick. Else, the beating will go on and possibly you may never hear of it again because your sis may decide to keep it to herself because you won't change anything if all you do is just talk.

Get him!

Your idea sounds great but, believe me, this may not work in all cases:

1. What type of man did she marry in the first place? If it's an 'area boy' you may be in for a long thing trying to use thugs on him as his reaction could be worse than his stupidity and your response combined.

2. I have an inlaw who is a 'redneck;' would you dare use thuggery on him when you know they often look for whom to molest in 'this side of town'?
3. Sometimes, it's best to avoid illegal confrontation.

I'd advice you talk to your sister and, if she agrees, get her out of there, go lodge a complain with those women org stuff and file for divorce if you think he would do it again or that he doesn't have enough respect for your family if they go warning him. This step, of course, may be considered after you have made sure that your sister has told you everything. If the man was not that type of man but suddenly started having problems with his finances, advice from elders and spiritual leadepprs may make him come to.

But, generally, it's one of the most painful feelings to have: another man beating up your sister in the name of marriage.

9jacrip:


I hear that.

To each, his own.

I would rather stop it with violence rather than risk having my sister shut me out and die inside from the continuous coded beatings.

All right. Noted.

Hmmm. I feel u should let them solve this issue themselves. After all, this beating has never happened before. N it may never happen again. If u go and fight or beat him up now, ur sister may get follow up beating or harshness from her hubby. Thats a possibility.
Also, for those saying u should get her out of her husband's house so he will come looking for her the hard way, I laugh. Some men are hard and will never go to beg their wives to return if they did not chase her away. If this happens, ur sis may become unhappy and always blame u or ur family for taking her out of her husband's home or encouraging her to leave.
When it comes to couples, stay on the sidelines. Except the situation becomes too serious or life threatening, then u can interfere. My own opinion though...

INTROVERT:



Can God change some animals called men >:

some MEN HMMMMM

nnamdiosu:



I pity you. you DAT told ur sister to read bible wants to create a ballistic and nuclear reaction abi?

1. you should remember that there are always three sides to the story. ur sisters, ur in law and the truth. till u know the three sides dont take any rash action.

2. ensure you act from the stand of a peace maker. not a defender of the universe. don't make the matters worse for ur sister. if the guy drives her out of the house due to ur confrontation, don't be surprised people will blame you. rather look for people he respects to talk to him wen he is sober. and u guys should pray for him. u can't confront spiritual foolishness with physical solutions.

Wise approach I must say. Sometimes when I approach matters from a peaceful angle It initially seems like I'm weak nd should be more voracious but d end results' always POSITIVE. @OP approach ur in-law and confront him about it first peacefully, then you know d next step to take. She's your sister and also his wife.

nnamdiosu:



I pity you. you DAT told ur sister to read bible wants to create a ballistic and nuclear reaction abi?

1. you should remember that there are always three sides to the story. ur sisters, ur in law and the truth. till u know the three sides dont take any rash action.

2. ensure you act from the stand of a peace maker. not a defender of the universe. don't make the matters worse for ur sister. if the guy drives her out of the house due to ur confrontation, don't be surprised people will blame you. rather look for people he respects to talk to him wen he is sober. and u guys should pray for him. u can't confront spiritual foolishness with physical solutions.

Wise approach I must say. Sometimes when I approach matters from a peaceful angle It initially seems like I'm weak nd should be more voracious but d end results' always POSITIVE. @OP approach ur in-law and confront him about it first peacefully, then you know d next step to take. She's your sister and also his wife. Besides if you u beat him up nd he starts ignoring ur sis cos of ur. Actions will u also beat him again? Confront him first

Happywoman:


One day monkey go enter mkt e no go come back again. Use ur tongue count ur teeth

Mumu, so u sef follow come. Are you related to lie
mohammed.

Am not married o, but by God's grace, soon i will..But with common sense, married women if your husbands come home drunk, pls and pls dont keep him waiting at the gate.. Dont reprimand him at that drunken state
Quietly open the door, let him in and watch him as he eventually falls on the sofa or bed.. Leave him there, while u go to your room and sleep. The next morning,when he wakes up and see the state hes in.. He will feel ashamed of himself.
Then during the day, when he has refeshened up,u can calmly talk to him about his unbelieveable behaviour lastnight andhow dissapointed u feel and wonders how issues got so bad , he had to get drunk.. And should confide in you, what the problem is?

He will rethink his steps , quietly on his own... Rememeber hes not a kid anyone should reprimand.. Treating him like a kid , is a no no..
Op, wait for some days, before going to talk to him and warn him sternly never ever to lay his hnads on yur sister orelse he has you to deal with and that u and your family dont joke with yur sister.. And also advise yur sis on what i mentioned above.
Two wrongs never make a right.

Boeing777pilot:
Let them sort out their issues without third party interference.

If you heard your brother beat up his wife would you arrange for him to be beaten up?

I disagree with this. If it was the wife that abused her hubby, his family members will be the ones to throw her out of their matrimonial home.

When I was 19, I confronted my 45-year broda inlaw for insulting my family during a verbal quarrel with my sister, I can't even allow him beat her....d feud dat began dat day between the man and I lasted for 9 years.....i wasn't sorry for wat I did tho I didn't do with maturity. I blive in confrontation, cos it will/can prevent future occurrence, jst b diplomatic in ur approach, irrespective of d age diff btw u two and when he is not making sense, you can show him ur oda side

My sister ain't worth any beating from any bitch.ass nigg.a!

Bar man give this babe extra bottle abeg.

Amelian:
Am not married o, but by God's grace, soon i will..But with common sense, married women if your husbands come home drunk, pls and pls dont keep him waiting at the gate.. Dont reprimand him at that drunken state
Quietly open the door, let him in and watch him as he eventually falls on the sofa or bed.. Leave him there, while u go to your room and sleep. The next morning,when he wakes up and see the state hes in.. He will feel ashamed of himself.
Then during the day, when he has refeshened up,u can calmly talk to him about his unbelieveable behaviour lastnight andhow dissapointed u feel and wonders how issues got so bad , he had to get drunk.. And should confide in you, what the problem is?

He will rethink his steps , quietly on his own... Rememeber hes not a kid anyone should reprimand.. Treating him like a kid , is a no no..
Op, wait for some days, before going to talk to him and warn him sternly never ever to lay his hnads on yur sister orelse he has you to deal with and that u and your family dont joke with yur sister.. And also advise yur sis on what i mentioned above.
Two wrongs never make a right.

Fight doesn't pay!!!
If there's an evidence(injury), claim that u have pictured it and would use it against him if he repeats it.
There maybe no need for confrontation, but advice ur sis to make an entry in d nearest police station incase of the unexpected.

Quintee:


I disagree with this. If it was the wife that abused her hubby, his family members will be the ones to throw her out of their matrimonial home.

I'm not a fan of third party interference.
Let the couples sort out their issues themselves

Just tell your sister to mention it to him when he's sober. He'll most likely deny it but that will not make what she saw a mirage. If he accepts his wrong, fine. But she should go about being her normal self. She has entered she has entered. She has to deal with the emotional trauma let her not add beating to her worries. Let her just avoid anything that will make him beat her. As long as he doesn't involve in paedophilia. For now, she can leave with this one and pray the prayer of a virtuous wife and God who commanded us to marry will answer her prayers

She got slapped about & beaten by a drunken husband, and you told her to read her bible...

Great.

You're not the one to do the fight... she is. She will acquire wisdom from the bible... but she won't recognise which Word God has for her now...

He is meant to love her "as Christ loved the church"... that's what the bible says, no?
And Christ's love isn't in "pumelling & panel-beating us, right?

Please, brother,have your sister take a step back from an irresponsible drinking husband.

It is marriage, not a life-threatening union.

daretodiffer:


Family meeting means he will bring his family to the Op's and he would sit down and issue them a collective warning.

This is not weakness but strength. It is a matter of setting him up and justifying whatever comes after. Give him a carrot and hide the stick. Let him mess up again and you have my permission to kill him.

habaaaa! I trust you.of all people on Nairaland. Giving such a cool advice that seems weak..wow that's it. But I won't kill.he'll only smell death cos my sis might not like it. You know nah! Love.. But for a guy to be Beating up ones' sis meant that he's got no respect for the family. It means that the family is worthless. He's got guts cos there's no fear factor in him.he's saying the family can do nada..to be that disrespectful to the family. that's how I see it when a man beats up his wife and, I mean,one needs to teach such a man how to Love and show respect by force.even if he's married to her,paid her bride price and all that, Her BLOOD is still flowing in me too. The bride price can't change the Blood.he's own with hers' is going to be a cross breed but mine with hers is a pure breed and that's what's up.

OP sorry o, ur sister has entered one chance and unfortunately, der is Notin u can do abt it.

noblegrex:
habaaaa! I trust you.of all people on Nairaland. Giving such a cool advice that seems weak..wow that's it. But I won't kill.he'll only smell death cos my sis might not like it. You know nah! Love.. But for a guy to be Beating up ones' sis meant that he's got no respect for the family. It means that the family is worthless. He's got guts cos there's no fear factor in him.he's saying the family can do nada..to be that disrespectful to the family. that's how I see it when a man beats up his wife and, I mean,one needs to teach such a man how to Love and show respect by force.even if he's married to her,paid her bride price and all that, Her BLOOD is still flowing in me too. The bride price can't change the Blood.he's own with hers' is going to be a cross breed but mine with hers is a pure breed and that's what's up.

I do not understand that part.

I disagree with you again. Battering is no respecter of class, tribe, social status, level of education etc etc.

ominskie:
I am going through the same thing, thinking of getting a divorce but also thinking about my child's future. Am confused

If he kills you one day what is their future? Mother dead, father in jail for killing mother? Or Or gets away with it and marries some woman that will deal with your children.

Even if he doesn't kill you by staying you are telling your sons it's okay to beat their wives and your daughters that it's okay to marry and stay with a woman beater. If you keep staying your next generation will probably have women beaters and battered women. Most abusers grew up around abuse

daretodiffer:


I do not understand that part.

I disagree with you again. Battering is no respecter of class, tribe, social status, level of education etc etc.

that's what you think. But I don't and can never think so...even when a dog is mad,it'll not jump into fire. Atleas it can recognise that the fire is more dangerous than it madness...