₦airaland Forum

hey all,

I am pregnant and the father has left me. Thus I would like to ignore the traditional naming patterns of his family and chose my own name for the baby. I thought of Beko for that reason but I realise that is more 'the father hasn't named this child' from the dad's point of view, ie saying he doubts the kid is his. Is there some female equivalent, like 'Mama says father may not name this child'? Because I dont want to give him an air of illigitimacy so much as freedom from this bad man.

Hello, pls don't give your child any controversial names abeg. He's gonna be stuck with it all his life, and will be asked untoward questions.

Also provided the man has not denied responsibility, why don't you want him to have a chance in the child's life? Because he didn't marry you or left you does not mean he should be denied access in his child's life provided he wants to be a part of it.

All this is because of the child, who with time will want to know who his father is. However, if he's a violent psychopath or sociopath, the child is best kept away from him.

Goodluck with raising your child miss, tough days ahead but you'll pull through

what on earth is going on in men's heads these days? a man should be allowed to abandon his child before its birth, but come along later for the fun part and still get to be part of it? surely if a man cares about his child at all, he watches over that child's mother? madness. yes i am sure i will get along a lot better without a stupid man in my life, which by the divorce statistics, a lot of women are finding. With your lack of recpect for your families, men are making yourselves redundant.

celineagnes:
what on earth is going on in men's heads these days? a man should be allowed to abandon his child before its birth, but come along later for the fun part and still get to be part of it? surely if a man cares about his child at all, he watches over that child's mother? madness. yes i am sure i will get along a lot better without a stupid man in my life, which by the divorce statistics, a lot of women are finding. With your lack of recpect for your families, men are making yourselves redundant.

Do your thing. The child is yours. Only remember to put the fathers name on the birth certificate, that's all you owe the child. QED.

celineagnes:
what on earth is going on in men's heads these days? a man should be allowed to abandon his child before its birth, but come along later for the fun part and still get to be part of it? surely if a man cares about his child at all, he watches over that child's mother? madness. yes i am sure i will get along a lot better without a stupid man in my life, which by the divorce statistics, a lot of women are finding. With your lack of recpect for your families, men are making yourselves redundant.

I get it ...you are hurt. But that's your problem not your child's.
That child has nothing to do with you and the father's issues.
Please take your bitterness out .
Your child will be born and he/she needs a name. Please give a name that does not reflect how you feel about the father.

Children are individual human beings not something you contest over like land.

Your child has a father and a mother and nothing can change that.

The kid can be named with your surname

I dont get the point of this thread.

my child has a mother. the father left. he has a mother and a sperm donor.

yes i have changed my mind on the name anyway. but i am surprised to hear how much people are prepared to let a child suffer in order to comfort a man who doesn't care if the child has enough food. they are not your accessories to be taken to nandos on sunday afternoons. in any case i will be far away by the time the child is born and the father will not see it or know how to find us and i feel fine about explaining to the child why i made that decision. no father who is not at the birth of his child has the right to put his name on the certificate and im not sure why that is bad for the kid. why does he need a name on a piece of paper? social convention? the same society that tells me a man can leave his child and still have rights? he can go find his dad if he wants when he's 16 and i am no longer able to protect him and im sure he will be able to juedge for himself whether or not i was right not to include him in our lives.

Why did you specifically refer to Beko since there is probably only one person in Nigeria who bears that name?

Since the father denied the child, why not give the child 3 name. These names will be the child's names, don't add surname even yours.

When the child is of age of understanding, you can tell him his story.

In future, He may choose to do change of name if he reaches out to his father and he (the father) accepts him.

This is what I would do.

Is the op even acknowledging the advice here,because its like she is pouring her anger,hurt based on the reactions she is getting from outside