stay a little more with him, and let's c if it becomes abnormal... thunder!!

Ewuro4:


I dey vex gidi gan.

Pls mama
Take omi suru

MRBrownJ:


his attitude OR reluctance to bankroll your life?!



if it REALLY wasnt a problem then why open a thread biatching about what he hasnt paid for you?! the issue IS the money that he aint willing to spend on you, YES!



this above is the goldigging clueless mentality that believes that anyone who works in an oil company must be swimming in cash



NEWSFLASH: just because you were begging your elders for cash, doesnt mean they werent "complaining endlessly", just like this man. typical of beggars to only see their side of the story and expect people to provide for their needs, at all costs



working in an oil company can be a stressful job



thats because he shouldnt even ask



he was RIGHT, and he should also have asked you how you managed to do your hair before you met him.



as much as he is right about the economy, we can all confirm that you are focus on money, thus i doubt you would have accepted flowers (probably the reason he didnt waste his small change to buy any)



so your man MUST recharge your phone before you can lift your fingers and call him?! BWAAAAAAH you are amazing! no wonder this guy guard his money against you like the CBN.



"borrowed" money to fuel the car will be reimbursed so no big deal, but its different than "giving" T-fare, which we know you have NO INTENTION of paying him back.

sadly, such attitude is needed with a certain type of women.... abeg, give me that guy's contact, i need to buy him a well deserved DRINK!

Guy you no get sense oooo.

vbiye:

i am seriously considering breaking up with him.

u r STILL seriously considering ?

then he must be doing something right, maybe the sex is fantastic. even with this is chronic stingy nature which stinks to inform you that he will not pay your medical bill if u get pregnant for him or get sick one day.

Extreme case of stinginess, stupidity combined with chronic selfishness. I don't think he is seeing you as his girlfriend...may be as a sex mate.

vbiye:

i initially thought it was a test, but it has gone on for too long, am going to leave him before the end of this week.

Even God said we should not put him to test. What nonsense test. As a guy, let my girl test me with some silly behavior or with another girl, I assure you I will woefully fail that stupid test.

Mayflowa:
You are really bad to say this! You don't need to have to give. Giving is love. I can't live in the midst of giftlessness. I either give or receive. This woman only receive Dickson and you criticize her!

If you don't see a self and egoistic tendencies from the man as she as explained, clearly, you have an issues

NONSENSE!!!
you should DESERVE a gift before you dream/hope of getting one. women who foolishly think that being in a r/ship means you deserve a gift, are MAD!!!! only your actions AND the will of that man will dictate if you deserve a gift.

let me educate you further on the issue: people who give out of their heart kindness DONT ask for a receipt OR that the person should return the favour to them... they do so because thats what they believe is RIGHT to do (they believe that person DESERVES it). all you brokeass begging women, who are quick to say that you give your hard earn cash away, are a bunch of liars. ANY person who thinks that giving (for no reason whatsoever) is a must, is clearly lacking some sense. each and everyone has the right to DECIDE where their hard earned cash is going.... your life, your priorities, YOUR CHOICE! any deluded person (man or woman) who think otherwise is clearly living in La La Land!

- if a woman "claims" she has money and a good life, then she doesnt need cheap tfare handouts from her man. in my world, thats an insult. FACT!
- if a woman "claims" she has money and a good life, then she doesnt need her man to pay for her hair, and she needs to answer the important question: HOW WAS SHE MANAGING HER HAIR BEFORE SHE MET HIM?

to be stingy (towards beggars) is NOT a crime, its a DUTY!

@sista tearoses
his dark mood should have been a hint that not all is as "great" as the OP thinks, in this man's life. she sees oil company worker and automatically wrongly assumes that he is a cheerful giver, and that life is fantastic. if she had any sense of care then she should have tried to UNDERSTAND what was wrong (aka the source) instead of coming here and talk about the handouts/gifts she didnt get. SEX is a stress reliever, we all know that, it helps relax and let go of the worries.

imagine a man having lots of stress at work, finding it HARD to make ends meet, struggling with money, due to whatever reason... and then when it is time to relax, he goes home and find this woman (who "supposedly" makes her own money) biatching about hairdos and tfare handouts. this type of woman dont see below the surface... when he says he doesnt have it, she doesnt try to know/ask why. the man says he is BROKE, why should she even doubt that?! for her, its all about OIL COMPANY. are you "all" claiming that oil company workers cant be broke now?!

you DONT need extra money to show care... go have a walk on the beach hand in hand, et voila! if any woman place the value of her man on handouts (however small) then this woman has failed miserably in that particular r/ship!

a man can only buy a bday gift that he can afford, and if he knws that his ladyfriend is hell bent on fancy gifts, then its best keeping your money. since when did dating turned to monetary gifts and handouts?! let a partner be judged for his CHARACTER, and nothing else.
you dont have to spend money on your gf to show LOVE, CARE or AFFECTION. fact!

MRBrownJ:


it is PARENTS responsibility to cater for their children's needs, and not "elder brothers". if an elder brother can help once in a while then fair enough, but if you expect him to settle you every months while he clearly says he AINT got the money, then yes thats begging, and he has the RIGHT to complain endlessly about it.... as if being elder means you CANT be broke?! NONSENSE

stop trying to shift the issue here, and you shouldnt even have opened this thread, since you make your own money... "supposedly".... as we can clearly see that spending on small things such as Tfare and recharge card is an issue for you.

MBJ go easy on the girl...

@OP: Do yourself a huge favour by taking a long walk away from that "relationship" of yours and don't ever look back.

Dyt:


Pls mama
Take omi suru

Vbiye, abeg move ahead, no time for rubbish. The guy is too stingy. Don't mind those posting lengthy trash here

No need for long story as everyone has said it all..

I know for a fact that it is not possible to care for someone deeply and not want to 'give' to them . I know people tend to be hard on girls who have the 'take care of me' mentality but based on your intial post there are so many red flags that transcend the giving of gifts alone.

Truth is ONLY broke struggling dudes scream "gold-diggers". They're so deluded, they believe they've got buried valuables worth digging.

The large guys be like, " you can chop my money, I don't care cos I get am plenty".

vbiye:

no he is not my last stop o, but my friends keep telling me to look past his faults and try to see his good side afterall no one is perfect.

Ur friends hate U. Im not your friend so its quite easy to be blunt. Dump him ASAP!

Evina:
Truth is ONLY broke struggling dudes scream "gold-diggers". They're so deluded, they believe they've got buried valuables worth digging.

The large guys be like, " you can chop my money, I don't care cos I get am plenty".

are you saying that a man who is "careful" with his money is broke?! highly laughabe, but the truth remains that ONLY the ones with their hands out begging (expecting to be settled even if they DONT deserve it), are the only deluded ones here.

only a thief or someone clueless who has never worked a day for their money would say "chop my money" (or a man trying to foolishly impress some brokeass woman), because smart men fully well know that making money and KEEPING wealth is the hardest part... therefore, having an "holier than thou" partner who thinks she has a right to any of your hard earned Kobos, is a sure way to fail in life.

as the elected president of the the SMN (Stingy Men of Nairaland), let me say it again: broke begging hungry and desperate women, who have NOTHING to offer a man, shouldnt expect ANYTHING in life, but the struggle they created for their sorry self. if the only way y'all understand love/care/affection is via gifts and handouts, then i am truly sorry for you, and wish you good luck with whatever donkey you may find.
as for the deluded men who are falling for this rubbish, remember, these "pay as you go" GFs will gladly leave your clueless behind when a richer man with "better/bigger" gifts comes along (since the gifts/handouts is what they use in order to value these r/ships)!

do women want to be treated as equals or as leeches

be consistent

MRBrownJ

You've got a penchant for subjecting your readers to the inhumane treatment of reading endless trash!

Evina:
MRBrownJ
You've got a penchant for subjecting your readers to the inhumane treatment of reading endless trash!

guilty as charged

Just laughing at MRBrownJ's comment....

sauceEEP:
Just laughing at MRBrownJ's comment....

bro you should learn from these comments so that the REVOLUTION can begin, lol!

you see, the majority of our brothas dont buy these gifts/handouts, Tfare, recharge card, hairdresser trip etc WILLINGLY. they are truly blackmailed into doing so because they foolishly believe that without it, they cant turn around and ask for sexual favors... as if it was only us men that were enjoying sex, ARRANT NONSENSE! men AND women enjoy sex and therefore it should never be used as a reason to deserve gifts/handouts.

look around you, coochie comes a dime a dozen, especially today when even a donkey working in oil&gas (also known as "with money" by these babes) will be the most sought after guy in any social settings. so it should be the way around and these babes should shower US with gifts, if they desire our attention. when you have +60yr old men like Oshiomhole who can buy foreign virgin half their age, you are here giving attention to these heavy duty tokunbos calling themselves GFs, and seeking for handouts?! make some sense bro!

MRBrownJ:


are you saying that a man who is "careful" with his money is broke?! highly laughabe, but the truth remains that ONLY the ones with their hands out begging (expecting to be settled even if they DONT deserve it), are the only deluded ones here.

only a thief or someone clueless who has never worked a day for their money would say "chop my money" (or a man trying to foolishly impress some brokeass woman), because smart men fully well know that making money and KEEPING wealth is the hardest part... therefore, having an "holier than thou" partner who thinks she has a right to any of your hard earned Kobos, is a sure way to fail in life.

as the elected president of the the SMN (Stingy Men of Nairaland), let me say it again: broke begging hungry and desperate women, who have NOTHING to offer a man, shouldnt expect ANYTHING in life, but the struggle they created for their sorry self. if the only way y'all understand love/care/affection is via gifts and handouts, then i am truly sorry for you, and wish you good luck with whatever donkey you may find.
as for the deluded men who are falling for this rubbish, remember, these "pay as you go" GFs will gladly leave your clueless behind when a richer man with "better/bigger" gifts comes along (since the gifts/handouts is what they use in order to value these r/ships)!

Mr Brown according to you OP is a gold digger because of her views no problem, my prayer for you is that your daughters will be treated the same way this man has treated the OP, pls remember to buy the men who treat your daughters like this the drink you promised OP's boyfriend, and when your daughter's complain call them gold diggers.

zexzy:

Mr Brown according to you OP is a gold digger because of her views no problem, my prayer for you is that your daughters will be treated the same way this man has treated the OP, pls remember to buy the men who treat your daughters like this the drink you promised OP's boyfriend, and when your daughter's complain call them gold diggers.

if the whole basis of the complain by the OP is money, then yeah, she is either a golddigger or simply a lost woman with misplaced understanding as to what it entails to be in a r/ship.

i havent raised any of my kids to value a person by what they can offer, but instead to value someone by their CHARACTER. the foundation of a r/ship is certainly not about a man handing gifts to women, but more about the mutual understanding between the two of them, where they each work EQUALLY towards the wellbeing/strengthening of that union. so NO, my kids know better to work for theirs, instead of laying on their back expecting handouts... i believe i've raised them better than that.

you cant force someone to respect you as a deserving person, if you havent done/given him ANYTHING about yourself that he would believe it deserves a gift/handout

The manner in which the op exaggerated her boyfriend's flaws clearly shows she just wants some encouragement from nairalanders to dump his assss. She's probably have her eyes on some dude.
This is what ladies are very good at.

it is not normal... run for your life. it is a total RED FLAG

for all those who gave advice i say a big thank you, To that raving ranting MrBrownj keep ranting,its in your DNA.

vbiye:
for all those who gave advice i say a big thank you, To that raving ranting MrBrownj keep ranting,its in your DNA.

you are welcome... good luck in finding that donkey you are so eagerly searching for, and if you dont, what about trying to pay for your own life for a change? it will do you a lot of good.

@MrBrownJ

OP! Pls dump his stingy and broke ass. You already know he's stingy to his family members, how did you expect him to treat you? Just continue with him till marriage and you foot all the bills from house rent, school fees and feeding while he crosses his legs to read newspapers. A guy in oil coy, asking his babe to caRry one hair style for 3months? He go soon tell you to use 1 pack of sanitary towel for 6months no worry.

That guy needs a serious awakening to realise he needs to ditch negativity to positive outlook and vibes.

Ladies, watchout for how a man treats the females in his life(mum, sisters, cousins, nieces, colleagues etc) cos thatshow he's also going to treat you.

Bro MBJ love is a beautiful thing and there is no way that giving wont be involved
Sorry but you just have to make sacrifices in a relationship for the one you love
No birthday gift no matter how small is sending the signal that you are not important

The fact that he is constantly broke oil worker or not needs to be investigated and is a danger sign
Does he gamble?
Have another babe he is committed to?
Owes people money?
Being blackmailed?
Lying about his job status.....Yes people do

If the girl knew why he was always broke, then maybe she would be more understanding
Something is not right somewhere and she is right to be concerned
Not just blindly go ahead and marry him and then start disturbing her pastor, friends and family 3 months down the line
She is doing the right thing by voicing this out now.

I have dated an oil company boy who did the exact same thing: never once opened his pockets to buy even a Valentine's day gift. He too complained bitterly about girls chopping, he too stressed me for sex (which I kept refusing). He too accepted many thoughtful expensive gifts without even sending a recharge card (he once told me to keep the N100 change from buying a drink ). This was a fellow who i organised gifts to be deliveres to his office on valentine's day and he took them happily then told me he had been too busy with work to get even a card (even his office friend was ashamed to meet my eyes). He broke up with me. When I told my male friends, married o, single o, they said the same thing: a man who cares for a woman likes to be seen as a provider, no matter how little. They were so annoyed because they rightly guessed he wasn't serious about me but happily took all gifts (I was still doing foreign-babe mentality according to them). Men, older than him and married, advised me to never date any guy who refused to spend on you because it is a Nigerian thing to provide for your woman. So, are they not men?

Happy ending: the idiot went to chase "gehs" who wanted to chop him well until he lost his oil and gas job. Then 1 month later, he came back begging. And I had happily moved on. He still sends me a message yearly wanting to keep in touch. I ensure I always ask him "remind me who you are again please?"

He was a Yoruba Demon as well

MRBrownJ.

I think you are missing the point.

When you care about someone, you definitely find little ways of showing it, that's what people in relationships do.

How can your woman open her mouth to ask you for some money to have her hair done (something she doesn't do always) and you say she should wear the one she has on for 3 months, like wtf?

I am all for taking care of one's needs with your own money but come on...

Onegai:


I have dated an oil company boy who did the exact same thing: never once opened his pockets to buy even a Valentine's day gift. He too complained bitterly about girls chopping, he too stressed me for sex (which I kept refusing). He too accepted many thoughtful expensive gifts without even sending a recharge card (he once told me to keep the N100 change from buying a drink ). This was a fellow who i organised gifts to be deliveres to his office on valentine's day and he took them happily then told me he had been too busy with work to get even a card (even his office friend was ashamed to meet my eyes). He broke up with me. When I told my male friends, married o, single o, they said the same thing: a man who cares for a woman likes to be seen as a provider, no matter how little. They were so annoyed because they rightly guessed he wasn't serious about me but happily took all gifts (I was still doing foreign-babe mentality according to them). Men, older than him and married, advised me to never date any guy who refused to spend on you because it is a Nigerian thing to provide for your woman. So, are they not men?

Happy ending: the idiot went to chase "gehs" who wanted to chop him well until he lost his oil and gas job. Then 1 month later, he came back begging. And I had happily moved on. He still sends me a message yearly wanting to keep in touch. I ensure I always ask him "remind me who you are again please?"

He was a Yoruba Demon as well

nice story.when is the part 2 coming out..

tearoses:
Bro MBJ love is a beautiful thing and there is no way that giving wont be involved
Sorry but you just have to make sacrifices in a relationship for the one you love
No birthday gift no matter how small is sending the signal that you are not important

The fact that he is constantly broke oil worker or not needs to be investigated and is a danger sign
Does he gamble?
Have another babe he is committed to?
Owes people money?
Being blackmailed?
Lying about his job status.....Yes people do

If the girl knew why he was always broke, then maybe she would be more understanding
Something is not right somewhere and she is right to be concerned
Not just blindly go ahead and marry him and then start disturbing her pastor, friends and family 3 months down the line
She is doing the right thing by voicing this out now.

He is probably not even broke sef just trying to 'test' her .

I do know that some naija gals take the whole 'taking care of me' thing too far same way I think some guys take the whole 'I don't want to be a maga thing' a bit too seriously. The OP is being attacked cos she mentioned some red words

Oil and Gas,
Hair
T Fare
Recharge Card

Those are maga dictionary words

I personally don't believe a boyfriend( husband sef) paying for a hair is caring or a big deal but that's just me. I wont even hint at it and never do/did cos my rationale is my hair is on my head. I think in all the years of knowing and being married to my husband he has only ever paid for my hair maybe once or twice cos its not an issue to me. I have had years of no birthday/valentine gifts as well but my husband consistently displayed acts of giving and sacrifice on some other issues far more important in the past which is why those things were not much of an issue.

I am sure the OP just feels there is an air that this guy does not care for her well being. And that transcends just gift giving.


You can give without caring but I find it very difficult to believe that you can care without giving. When you care about someone you cant help just wanting to give something of your self even when you don't have. And my 'give' here is no just material things. Its just wanting to give something of yourself to make the other person happy .

My daughter loves her present teacher to bits and has been singing it since last week that her teachers birthday is in May. She told me to take the money out of her piggy bank so she could get her a present. That's a 6 year old already wanting to sacrifice for someone she cares deeply about.