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What does it mean to be a man in the modern world? In a new series, that started on Thursday on Channel 4, the Turner prize-winning artist Grayson Perry explores this question. Perry brings his unique view to bear on his own tribe, and raises interesting questions about masculinity in modern times.

We asked our male readers to tell us whether they feel there are certain expectations men still have to live up to. Here’s what they told us:

Asher Baker, 27, London: I learned everything I know from my mother
As a man who grew up in a household with my mum and sister but no dad, I have always been more exposed to women and the more feminine aspects of life than my male friends. I was never taught how to shave, or how to “pick up girls”, or any of the other crap the media generally tells us dads are supposed to teach their children. Some may see that lack of a male role model during my formative years as a pretty big disadvantage, but I couldn’t disagree more. I genuinely feel like my upbringing, and my young adult life as a result, was and is all the better for the passive learning I was afforded. Schools don’t teach children not to catcall, or about gender pay gaps, or about institutional homophobia – I learned these things from my family. In the same way, I also learned that men shouldn’t have to have facial hair, chiselled muscles or a brash, macho attitude towards anything and everything to be considered “manly”.

Craig Wiffen, 32, London: Being a man is about showing respect to everyone
There is no doubt the world has changed since I started to wrap my head around the notion of what it means to be a man. I was raised by fairly conservative parents in a large family with a strong outlook on what it meant to be a man. I was taught to open doors, be there for my sisters and stand at the table when a woman arrives or leaves.

When, as a younger man, I started to date in London turning up with my shoes shined, a decent side parting and a suit and tie on a first encounter I was often scoffed at. I was even laughed at for standing at a table in a restaurant when my date got up to use the rest room.

These incidents have caused me to occasionally question whether or not my way of looking at what it means to be a man are out of date, foolish or even unnecessary. However, while I don’t think that this outlook isn’t required anymore, I do think you should extend it to mean having a base level of respect and care for anyone – no matter what their gender.

Kotti Rakesh, 34, Guntur: A man must be powerful in India
What it means to be a man depends on the society you live in. I live in a very small town in India and not much has changed over the years in terms of male and female roles. The society I come from is still very patriachal and men are expected to be above women, and anyone who comes in with new ideas about equality is seen as a “sissy”. There is a lot of resistance to change and to any challenge of those expectations. There is not much change on the ground in the developing world. A man must be powerful and still doesn’t consult women in most cases, and it’s clear in the harassment of women in the street that things aren’t changing as quickly as they could.

A man is also not expected to be emotional, and generally in movies that come out in India a man is seldom seen as a thinking man. He is not shown as someone who thinks and feels.

Michael Segalov, 22, London: A new-found freedom in gender is not felt by all of us
When you work out that you’re gay, at whatever age, you come to realise pretty quickly that you’re not going to have the life that you thought as a man you would: the wife, the kids, the dodgy cardigans.

From a young age I counted myself lucky – I’d been born into the generation where “being a man” could be, more than ever before, whatever I wanted it to be. Blue toys were no longer just for boys, sexualities not set in stone, you could go by he/she/they/it and none of my friends seemed that bothered.

Now I find myself in London, a young gay man in the capital – a place where you can be whoever and whatever you want to be. It wasn’t here that I expected to be confronted with people demanding that now I be a real man. But take a look through the dating apps, or head out on to the scene, and you’ll find the phrase “masc 4 masc” – gay men making it clear they’re only interested in guys who show no signs of femininity.

Many gay men are still, it seems, concerned with adhering to the machismo, desperate to display their masculinity, in compensation for the fact that their sex life makes them feel they’re not “real men”.

It’s the remnants of a homophobic society, an internalised homophobia that might soon be a thing of the past. But take a look at the alarming mental health figures, the level of bullying of LGBT kids in school, and I don’t feel that certain.

Heterosexual men might feel a new found freedom in their gender, but it’s not something felt by us all.

Francisco Rosas, 36, Santiago: The perfect man today has money and muscles
Unfortunately, being a successful man in the modern world means earning a lot and looking good. Every day we are bombarded with adverts and images of the “perfect man”, who can do whatever he wants because he has money and muscles. In my time being a man was more about protecting your family; now it’s much more superficial. I have changed my behaviour a bit to live up to this, and started to take care of myself a bit more.

Luke Hutson, 29, Cambridgeshire: There is an identity crisis for twentysomething men
There is a constant barrage of differing opinions and ideals portrayed in the media. Some women claim to want a “real man”, yet we are also told to be in touch with our emotions. The former alpha male-type behaviour is glorified by other men, leading to the rise of “lad culture”, which I detest. The latter can equally lead to ridicule among peers. There seems to be an identity crisis for twentysomething British men – no one really knows what the ideal is, what to aspire to, where the lines are. It’s all very circumstantial.

I try to be me. I class myself as quite confident and “alpha”. I am considerate of all genders, and am a firm advocate for feminism. The idea peddled nowadays that you can either be a new-age man who is sensitive or a cavemanesque alpha is the biggest lie portrayed to young men. You can be both.

Peter Papathanasiou, 41, London: Being a modern man is confusing and challenging.
Times have changed. When I was young, my dad repainted the kitchen and replaced our Cortina’s carburettor while Mum made me toast for breakfast and washed my grass-stained clothes. Today, I’m more likely to look up a recipe by a celebrity chef and prepare a delicious family dinner while my wife fixes the lawnmower and unblocks a drain. And yet, I’m expected to have the skills for both. Dad once dropped me off at football tryouts once, twice, and then stopped, preferring instead to return to his regular Saturday afternoons at the betting shop. Today, I’m expected to drive my son to multiple sporting events, stay, cheer (positively), and likely even coach. Dad was the sole breadwinner; today, my wife makes more than me. Dad smoked high-tar cigarettes and drank whiskey. I eat quinoa and drink green tea. Relatively speaking, Dad had it easy. He knew what to do, the roles were clear. Today, there’s more blurred lines than a Robin Thicke song.

Being a modern man is confusing, challenging, and everyone has an opinion, least of all your better half, who – let’s face it – is the opinion you should probably listen to most of all. That’s probably what being a modern man is. Understanding how women think, being emotional yet strong, a listener, a gentleman, a chef, a mechanic, and ultimately a role model to the next generation of men coming through. They’ll likely have to do everything that modern men now do times 10, so we better prepare them well. Because no doubt the day will come when my son looks back at how easy his old man had things.

What do you think it means to be a man today? Share your views with us in the comments.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/may/06/men-discuss-what-it-means-to-be-a-man-today-grayson-perry

Shym3xx:
Sukkot

Big bredrin, this is why I keep telling you to get ya muscles up - skinny nyggahs aren't winning in today's world lol. Now, that you're still a bachelor, you need to conquer as many territories as possible cah I ain't finna wanna hear mama duke and ya wifey complaining about you still merking around after getting married. Ijebu dons don't down like that, ya get me?

Anyway, this article was based on Grayson Perry's show on Channel 4 about about masculinity in modern times.

Wahh ya say, big bredrin?

sukkot:
i aint skinny tho ? i weigh like 190 pounds or something like that. 6ft tall. am built like a stallion mate. prime beef mate lolzzzzzz

Ishilove:
Hian

sukkot:
that cat tho lolzzz. why him stomock dey empty like dat na

Ishilove:
The price of cat feed has gone up

sukkot:
i aint skinny tho ? i weigh like 190 pounds or something like that. 6ft tall. am built like a stallion mate. prime beef mate lolzzzzzz

Shym3xx:
Loool

More like 190 pounds of cheese fat, with ya belly looking those white women with double layers of cheese fat bellies looool. Get ya muscles up.

In other news, Skepta just made history as an independent urban artist by topping the UK album chart and he's also top 20 in over 30 countries. That's almost £400,000 in his pocket this week (first week) alone and by the time it is said and done, from album sales and sold out shows everywhere - he should have raked in millions of ££££.

He did it on his own and his own way without a record label and the press. Now everyone is chasing him around for interviews. From the bits to the top. Gang gang gang - boy better know. The tracksuit mafia is here lool. Live ya dreams!

sukkot:
yeah stop telling on ya self

speaking of skepta, what is happening to him is more than the eye can perceive. he is 33 years old. 33 is the highest level of freemasonry. its a very esoteric number with lots of symbolic attachments. ya boy skepta is the chosen one at this point in time because he is 33. he has unseen backing that you dont know. he wears illuminati BULL symbols. dat nigga is working with some forces you cant even imagine

https://www.lilymercer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/SKEPTA.jpg

https://givinglifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/illuminati-sports-5.jpg

Shym3xx:
Loool. I'm naturally even not built for fat, even if I were to try cos my body metabolism is crazy lool. Get ya muscle up and stop stashing cheese fat in ya belly loooool.

Lmao @ illuminati cos he wore a Halloween costume horns years ago when he was broke lol. How old is that picture? 6/7 years...but he started gaining global recognition as an independent artist after the Brits last year when he was part of the tracksuit mafia that stormed the stage during Kanye's performance and subsequently released the banger "shutdown" which increased his fan base loool.

I guess he was also part of illuminati when he released the banger "we need more girls in here" in 2009, "sweet mother" which charted in 2006, and all the chart topping Roll Deep singles he was on in the noughties when he was part of Roll Deep with Wiley et al looooool.

Lowe illuminati crap and celebrate greatness, fam looool.

Shym3xx:
Loool. I'm naturally even not built for fat, even if I were to try cos my body metabolism is crazy lool. Get ya muscle up and stop stashing cheese fat in ya belly loooool.

Lmao @ illuminati cos he wore a Halloween costume horns years ago when he was broke lol. How old is that picture? 6/7 years...but he started gaining global recognition as an independent artist after the Brits last year when he was part of the tracksuit mafia that stormed the stage during Kanye's performance and subsequently released the banger "shutdown" which increased his fan base loool.

I guess he was also part of illuminati when he released the banger "we need more girls in here" in 2009, "sweet mother" which charted in 2006, and all the chart topping Roll Deep singles he was on in the noughties when he was part of Roll Deep with Wiley et al looooool.

Lowe illuminati crap and celebrate greatness, fam looool.

Shym3xx:
Loool. I'm naturally even not built for fat, even if I were to try cos my body metabolism is crazy lool. Get ya muscle up and stop stashing cheese fat in ya belly loooool.

Lmao @ illuminati cos he wore a Halloween costume horns years ago when he was broke lol. How old is that picture? 6/7 years...but he started gaining global recognition as an independent artist after the Brits last year when he was part of the tracksuit mafia that stormed the stage during Kanye's performance and subsequently released the banger "shutdown" which increased his fan base loool.

I guess he was also part of illuminati when he released the banger "we need more girls in here" in 2009, "sweet mother" which charted in 2006, and all the chart topping Roll Deep singles he was on in the noughties when he was part of Roll Deep with Wiley et al looooool.

Lowe illuminati crap and celebrate greatness, fam looool.

Shym3xx:
Loool. I'm naturally even not built for fat, even if I were to try cos my body metabolism is crazy lool. Get ya muscle up and stop stashing cheese fat in ya belly loooool.

Lmao @ illuminati cos he wore a Halloween costume horns years ago when he was broke lol. How old is that picture? 6/7 years...but he started gaining global recognition as an independent artist after the Brits last year when he was part of the tracksuit mafia that stormed the stage during Kanye's performance and subsequently released the banger "shutdown" which increased his fan base loool.

I guess he was also part of illuminati when he released the banger "we need more girls in here" in 2009, "sweet mother" which charted in 2006, and all the chart topping Roll Deep singles he was on in the noughties when he was part of Roll Deep with Wiley et al looooool.

Lowe illuminati crap and celebrate greatness, fam looool.

sukkot:
bruv, the west keep their society sanitized and under control because they have a handle on everything that goes on. if you think you will just make a song and blow up without them letting you blow up ? then i have a bridge to sell to you called third mainland bridge. anybody who blows up was allowed to blow up. no such thing as coincidence in this world. but of course this message is arriving to you too early because you are not at that level of enlightenment. just think of everything i tell you as seeds that are being planted. you may not understand it now or agree with it but somewhere down the line it will register and you will say ' dayummm that nigga sukkot said this a while back ' . I am planting seeds in you bruv

Shym3xx:
Lmao. You need to stay off YouTube and the jobless nutters on there with crab in barrel mentality. These suckers have nothing going for them in their lives, hence to them, every black person that makes it has to be part of some illuminati nonsense with their pull-him-down syndrome. How come broke black people aren't part of this ludicrous illuminati crap - only the ones that are able to make it out of the hood and feed their families? When did the real blue bloods start accepting black folks from the ghetto? I HATE NYGGAHS!

Adele is just moderately talented - an obese white girl with a big voice (she's no Amy Winehouse), yet every time she releases a tune/an-album, she always go platinum in a day. Ditto Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran et al. But I'm yet to see white folks make videos all over YouTube about how they're part of illuminati. Zayn of One Direction, Naughty Boy, and Jay Sean are Asians and I'm yet to see Asians making videos all over YouTube about how they're part of illuminati. How come it's always nyggahs who have this crab in a barrel mentality, with jobless illiterates who don't even understand freemasonry and blue bloods spamming YouTube with illuminati crap?

I followed Skepta's career from school days when he first started spitting. I'll never forget his first bars that I heard on a Roll Deep record when he said, "It's Skepta the big bad Nigerian/go on then, go on then, draw for the tool/go on then, go on then, draw for the machete". Then the adidas tune remix with JME, Lady Sovereign et al. Private Caller, Sweet Mother, Duppy, Microphone Champions, his clashes with Devilman etc. I still remember the time he was on radio when I was in Uni in Brum and he shut down everywhere, after bigging up Handsworth, Perry Barr, and Aston...and the days when every chic used think he's super sexy. He went from there to being blacklisted on radio and TV. And subsequently, said fvck making pop tunes, fvck designer clothes, and fvck record labels and radio - I'm doing it my way. Now that over 13 years of grind, hard work, and unending grafting is paying off - he's illuminati, no? Muthaphuck illuminati and YouTube nutjobs.

Let the black man eat and stop trying to pull him down. Not too many nyggahs make it out of the bits - especially for a guy who used to sell drugs and had the feds lock him and his whole family locked out of their house and rendered homeless for months cos the crew he was running with back then shoot someone in the head.

sukkot:
you know whats funny ? all the information i gave you was just based on me reading all the symbolism around skepta but just right now i googled and it came up. see bruv ? the world is more complicated and convoluted than you think it is. the rabbit hole runs very deep

Shym3xx:
Lmao.

So Tinie Tempah is also illuminati? The same Tinie Tempah who used to live in Aylesbury Estate (he used to live like five doors from my ex) before moving to Plumstead? The same guy whose dad used to be a barber on Old Kent road? Heck, I know his blood cousin from Peckham, Olz OTT the hustler (the tattooed goon with tattoos all over his body - my Code D)...he's half naij and half Sierra Leone. Lowe it and leave YouTube nutjobs and their madness alone.

Tinie used to make neeky tunes about chics during College times. He was just super-lucky cos it was written in the stars. No one knew he would ever be that big - he just had a big pop tune at the right time and he stayed with the same formula. It has absolutely nothing to do with some useless illuminati.

If he were part of illuminati, how comes his friends, SAS killa, Boya, and Gfrsh never blew up? Even Gfrsh with all his bars and expensive videos was signed to Sony, yet he didn't blow up. Why didn't illuminati make him blow up like Tinie Tempah?

GTFOH - Tinie Tempah is a lucky boy. And Skepta did it himself, without a big single and no record deal. Respect black men achieving greatness and stop trying to pull them down. These guys have moved their parents from the hood to affluent areas and they made it in a scene where there aren't that many successful black folks.

How many black people in the UK have made it from the urban scene in last 20 years? They're not even up to 5. So Solid Crew, Dizzee Rascal, and maybe Craig David cos his first album was a garage album. But Tinie and Skepta have joined them. That's 5 in 20 years. Celebrate them and posting useless YouTube tripe everywhere.

sukkot:
they are illuminati puppets not illuminati. big difference mate. they are used to pass subliminal message to the masses and they get rewarded and promoted for it. was he not the one who brought out jumoke the bead seller ? illuminati tinz

Shym3xx:
Muthaphuck illuminati and the jobless conspiracy theorists on YouTube. I HATE NYGGAHS!

These guys grafted for years before they made it...they weren't selling bread on the street and became a model overnight. Everything they did happened in stages, the same way working hard/smart always pay off at the end.

Fvck illuminati. Let black men eat.

sukkot:
ahhhh the simplicity of the unenlightened. i guess ignorance they say is bliss

bruv you still have not explained why skepta said I AM A MASON WORKING FOR SATAN

Shym3xx:
Bwahhahaha. I HATE NYGGAHS...crab in a barrel mentality.

You don't even know what metaphor is in rap. Why didn't they play the whole track, why just soundbite? These YouTube nutjobs are the craziest breed there's.

And they showed Skepta in P.Diddy's video. I remember that vividly. Diddy wanted to shoot a video in the UK - he went on radio and ask fans to name the hottest MC in the UK and most people said Skepta, hence he was selected to be in that video. After that, Diddy stopped fvcking with him cos of an incident that happened at a pool party when Skepta wanted to push a chic into the pool and some guy must have confronted him and told him that the chic is his girl. They got into an argument and Diddy told him that people get shot for what he did...and he stopped fvcking with him after that. This happened years ago.

I bet when Notorious B.I.G rapped the verse below, on suicidal thoughts, he was being satanic, no?

B.I.G - Suicidal Thoughts
When I die, fvck it, I wanna go to hell
Cos I'm a piece of shyte, it ain't hard to fvcking tell
It don't make sense, going to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dyck licked
Hanging with the goodie-goodies lounging in paradise
Fvck that shyte, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lying to my mother, even stealing out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wished she got a fvcking abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
Sucking on her chest just to stop my fucking hunger
I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them

^^^This will show if you know anything about rap.

sukkot:
you still aint answer the question though. why skepta always mentioning freemasonry in all his songs ? denial will get you nowhere brah. ya boy skepta is immuminati puppet. daz why he getting paid. cuz whats the difference between skepta and the millions of british youf with similar and better talents ? its cuz he agreed to get smashed in the ass

Shym3xx:
Lmaooooo.

On how many tunes did he reference freemasonry, apart from one or two where he flipped bars and used metaphors cos illuminati was the hot topic then?

Well, he's successful cos he raps clearer than the rest, though he isn't the most lyrical. His bars are simple and he does drop memorable lines from time to time. But cos he always speak from the heart, hence most people can relate to him. How many grime artists, apart from Skepta, JME, President T, and Frisco spit clear bars? If you're not from the UK - you won't understand what the rest of them are saying and that's why folks don't gravitate to them that much.

This is one of Skepta's earliest tune - it's about 11/12 years old now...

(I make Nigerians proud of their facial scars looooooooooooooooooool...1.53 mark).


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzEhaAQub2c

sukkot:
Man that nigga is bought. i dont even like british music like dat tho. shytt sounds ret-ard-ed lolzzz. i like 90s american rap. i aint tryna hear dat british nonsense lolzz. i just heard CANT TRUSS IT by public enemy. now thats how you make music. WHEN ITS TIME FOR ARMAGEDDON IT MEANS AM GETTING MINE <<< CHUCK D LINE

Shym3xx:
Sukkot

Celebrate the king of grime - Joseph Junior Adenuga.

It's a shutdown! Tracksuit gang.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQOG5BkY2Bc