₦airaland Forum

I will keep the story short. A friend of mine invited me to join him in another country.Actually i was outside Nigeria when he made the move. I arranged for my visa and he bought the ticket. We were 3 staying in 1 bedroom apartment.2 weeks after I arrived, we made N1,000,000 + from what he invited me for. Things was going fine until he invited another friend from Nigeria, 2 weeks later,another sister joined us.
The moment the guy arrived, things really changed. My friend didn't trust me anymore. I wasn't comfortable enough to do my things. We decided to leave the room for the sister as she is a lady. We slept on the rug for more than 1 month. Actually, that was nothing to me cos that is boys life.

We decided to get a new apartment. We got a 3 bedroom duplex in one of the finest estate here. Before we moved in, I sent a text to my friend ( the one who invited me) ' I would like to ask for a favour, I wouldn't mind if I should take the master bedroom so that I can put more effort on work". That was the content of the message. I was the engine room making things possible on how to get money.
When my friend came back, he flared up saying why should i send such kind of a message to him. Afterall he invited me and he has right to decide on anything he wants. I pretended as if it was nothing. We moved in to the estate. Things became worse when we got to the estate. The 3 other guys took womanising as a real hobby. Different girls everyday. I am an Introvert. I prefer to spend my time alone. The estate is for matured people, infact i doubt if there was any Nigerian in the estate cos it was abit expensive. I was thinking of getting my own apartment but I realised it would be a bad move. I decided to travel to Nigeria so that by the time I return I will get my own place.

Immediately I left for Nigeria, so many issues came up which I had no single idea about. My friend accused me of diverting his money even though he had 0% proof. Say so many bad things about me to the extent of threatening me on phone. I was calm cos I knew his behaviour. I ignored all his threat. Infact, it was a great trip to my country.
After spening 2 months in Nigeria, I returned back to the base. This time, I made sure i already made proper arrangement before leaving Nigeria. I arrived at night,from airport I told the driver to take me to an hotel and on our way, i told him to help me get an apartment the next morning. I knew it will only require money and I already prepared myself for that.

The next morning, he came to pick me up at the hotel. Checked some apartment and I was lucky to found my choice. I paid instantly and returned back to my hotel. The next morning, I moved in to the apartment. I made sure I leave far away from my friend cos I didn't want any more drama again.
After 2 months, my friend left for Nigeria. I heard nothing again about him. I already spent 8 months + leaving conveniently on my own. Last week he returned back to the base with 2 other people. Without any accommodation. A friend called me about him being around. I had no choice than to talk to him on phone and he started apologising for things he has done and said. I told him it was nothing. I made a move of seeing him that same day cos he might want to come first to my place which I wont be comfortable about. They are presently squatting with a friend who stays with his girlfriend and the guy already asked them to leave by ending of this month.

By ending, he will definitely wants to ask for my help, I mean accomodating him. The other friend also confirmed to me about his plan even though he doesn't care about the 2 other people they came together. Before he came, I already promised myself not to have anything to do with him again. We can be friends, but not close friend as before and nothing like working together.
I pray he has other option before then but if not, I am sorry , i am going to decline 100%. The question now is should i be blunt about declining his offer ot I should just formulate a story. if I am about to commit a sin, God should forgive me. I sacrificed a lot the other time and gained nothing. I can't risk that again.

What would you advice?

All these long talk just to ask for forgiveness.

That's what you call "short"? I fear your version of "long"

If I were u, stay away from him...u must learn the lesson from the past...u made urself out of that chaotic place and found peace in living alone...


If u need to lie to save Ur ass from him then do it...u don't need these type of ppol in Ur circle...

Stay focus in Ur mission & stay away from trouble.

KashyBaby:
If I were u, stay away from him...u must learn the lesson from the past...u made urself out of that chaotic place and found peace in living alone...


If u need to lie to save Ur ass from him then do it...u don't need these type of ppol in Ur circle...

Stay focus in Ur mission & stay away from trouble.

Thanks for the advice. The guy is really complicated. One of the issue he raised when i left was me backbiting him about his personal life. His younger brother died 3 years ago in a car accident. Fortunately, the girlfriend was pregnant. The family decided to talk to the lady to keep the pregnancy. She agreed. After giving birth, my friend wants to claim the lady. I mean getting married to her. in this 21st century, who does that. he does things without thinking. I can never make such a mistake even if people are going to see me as wicked person, so be it

@Op, I am impressed at your level maturity. Well, if I were you I would not accommodate him o, what he did to you he will certainly do again. I might find a way to help him solve his accommodation issue. Such a friend is to be kept at an arm's length.

mr "op"..i could feel ur pain and fury towards your so called immature friend..he has seriously trespassed,but i don't think you should pay him back in his own coin.i think you should try help him in whatsoever way you can be of help.a yoruba adage says,and i quote "A FACE THAT HAS KNOWN SOMEONE BEFORE SHOULD NOT HESITATE TO DENY SOMEONE AGAIN"..even his conscience will torture him more,when he sees you repaying him with kindness..but apply wisdom this time..

Kingsasian:
@Op, I am impressed at your level maturity. Well, if I were you I would not accommodate him o, what he did to you he will certainly do again. I might find a way to help him solve his accommodation issue. Such a friend is to be kept at an arm's length.

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am considering at the moment. Helping him financially but staying together hell no.As a Nigerians, all eyes are always on us outside the country. I live a simple life. He's involve woman, clubbing, partying.. I don't want to live such live again

Perfect, just give him some money so he can add up and pay for a new place, You need your space.

argon500:
Thanks for the advice. That is what I am considering at the moment. Helping him financially but staying together hell no.As a Nigerians, all eyes are always on us outside the country. I live a simple life. He's involve woman, clubbing, partying.. I don't want to live such live again

sholikay:
mr "op"..i could feel ur pain and fury towards your so called immature friend..he has seriously trespassed,but i don't think you should pay him back in his own coin.i think you should try help him in whatsoever way you can be of help.a yoruba adage says,and i quote "A FACE THAT HAS KNOWN SOMEONE BEFORE SHOULD NOT HESITATE TO DENY SOMEONE AGAIN"..even his conscience will torture him more,when he sees you repaying him with kindness..but apply wisdom this time..

My brother, I am a typical Yoruba guy and I understand the proverb. Another adage says : A n ja bi ka ku ko" we are fighting doesnt mean we should wish ourselves bad. Apart from the guy tarishing my image, saying things I had no idea about, he was still threatening me. if he should apologise now, does it mean he acted intentionally out of jealousy? Let me tell you something you don't know. When we were trying to secured the duplex, we were running out of cash and I called my sister to send me money via Western Union. She sent N190,000 $970 dollars. We were having misunderstanding that morning but as someone who is matured, i decided to just let go and went to pick the money together. It was something around 12pm. from the Western union outlet we went to a bar. Along the way, i went black to the extent i didnt even know what was going on. He had invited people to come around. Afterall not his money. On our way home, police stopped up. He wasn't having his passport with him. They told us it is either they charge us we all go to station and provide his passport. To save time we decided to sort them out. We gave them like N15,000 naira equivalent. He went from there to an hotel with a lady. before we left house , he wasn't having any money with him. When I got home the next morning, i woke up with N9,000 naira equivalent. N15,000+N9,000=N24,000. We bought red label.with the foods and drinks, over charge can't be up to N50,000 that is N75,000 in total minus N190,000. How did he manage to pay for his taxi to the hotel? Is he not going to pay for hotel charges? How about the lady, definitely he will sort her out. I swear to God up till this moment, i never asked nor questioned him about what happened. To me, I believe I loose guard ( never blame your misfortune on anyone). How can my guy dey guy me.
Like I said above financially if I can help fine but accommodating him, Ogun o ni je

PunkyV:
That's what you call "short"? I fear your version of "long"

I type am as how it dey pinch me for body..

argon500:
I type am as how it dey pinch me for body..

OK. Do you, boo.

argon500:
My brother, I am a typical Yoruba guy and I understand the proverb. Another adage says : A n ja bi ka ku ko" we are fighting doesnt mean we should wish ourselves bad. Apart from the guy tarishing my image, saying things I had no idea about, he was still threatening me. if he should apologise now, does it mean he acted intentionally out of jealousy? Let me tell you something you don't know. When we were trying to secured the duplex, we were running out of cash and I called my sister to send me money via Western Union. She sent N190,000 $970 dollars. We were having misunderstanding that morning but as someone who is matured, i decided to just let go and went to pick the money together. It was something around 12pm. from the Western union outlet we went to a bar. Along the way, i went black to the extent i didnt even know what was going on. He had invited people to come around. Afterall not his money. On our way home, police stopped up. He wasn't having his passport with him. They told us it is either they charge us we all go to station and provide his passport. To save time we decided to sort them out. We gave them like N15,000 naira equivalent. He went from there to an hotel with a lady. before we left house , he wasn't having any money with him. When I got home the next morning, i woke up with N9,000 naira equivalent. N15,000+N9,000=N24,000. We bought red label.with the foods and drinks, over charge can't be up to N50,000 that is N75,000 in total minus N190,000. How did he manage to pay for his taxi to the hotel? Is he not going to pay for hotel charges? How about the lady, definitely he will sort her out. I swear to God up till this moment, i never asked nor questioned him about what happened. To me, I believe I loose guard ( never blame your misfortune on anyone). How can my guy dey guy me.
Like I said above financially if I can help fine but accommodating him, Ogun o ni je

chai. that bros don fk seriously. inshort no gie am anytin.

Never never never accommodate him o. He will do you worse if you put him under your roof again. You can help him financially to sort himself out. Maa gba si ile oooo.

argon500:
I will keep the story short. A friend of mine invited me to join him in another country.Actually i was outside Nigeria when he made the move. I arranged for my visa and he bought the ticket. We were 3 staying in 1 bedroom apartment.2 weeks after I arrived, we made N1,000,000 + from what he invited me for. Things was going fine until he invited another friend from Nigeria, 2 weeks later,another sister joined us.
The moment the guy arrived, things really changed. My friend didn't trust me anymore. I wasn't comfortable enough to do my things. We decided to leave the room for the sister as she is a lady. We slept on the rug for more than 1 month. Actually, that was nothing to me cos that is boys life.

We decided to get a new apartment. We got a 3 bedroom duplex in one of the finest estate here. Before we moved in, I sent a text to my friend ( the one who invited me) ' I would like to ask for a favour, I wouldn't mind if I should take the master bedroom so that I can put more effort on work". That was the content of the message. I was the engine room making things possible on how to get money.
When my friend came back, he flared up saying why should i send such kind of a message to him. Afterall he invited me and he has right to decide on anything he wants. I pretended as if it was nothing. We moved in to the estate. Things became worse when we got to the estate. The 3 other guys took womanising as a real hobby. Different girls everyday. I am an Introvert. I prefer to spend my time alone. The estate is for matured people, infact i doubt if there was any Nigerian in the estate cos it was abit expensive. I was thinking of getting my own apartment but I realised it would be a bad move. I decided to travel to Nigeria so that by the time I return I will get my own place.

Immediately I left for Nigeria, so many issues came up which I had no single idea about. My friend accused me of diverting his money even though he had 0% proof. Say so many bad things about me to the extent of threatening me on phone. I was calm cos I knew his behaviour. I ignored all his threat. Infact, it was a great trip to my country.
After spening 2 months in Nigeria, I returned back to the base. This time, I made sure i already made proper arrangement before leaving Nigeria. I arrived at night,from airport I told the driver to take me to an hotel and on our way, i told him to help me get an apartment the next morning. I knew it will only require money and I already prepared myself for that.

The next morning, he came to pick me up at the hotel. Checked some apartment and I was lucky to found my choice. I paid instantly and returned back to my hotel. The next morning, I moved in to the apartment. I made sure I leave far away from my friend cos I didn't want any more drama again.
After 2 months, my friend left for Nigeria. I heard nothing again about him. I already spent 8 months + leaving conveniently on my own. Last week he returned back to the base with 2 other people. Without any accommodation. A friend called me about him being around. I had no choice than to talk to him on phone and he started apologising for things he has done and said. I told him it was nothing. I made a move of seeing him that same day cos he might want to come first to my place which I wont be comfortable about. They are presently squatting with a friend who stays with his girlfriend and the guy already asked them to leave by ending of this month.

By ending, he will definitely wants to ask for my help, I mean accomodating him. The other friend also confirmed to me about his plan even though he doesn't care about the 2 other people they came together. Before he came, I already promised myself not to have anything to do with him again. We can be friends, but not close friend as before and nothing like working together.
I pray he has other option before then but if not, I am sorry , i am going to decline 100%. The question now is should i be blunt about declining his offer ot I should just formulate a story. if I am about to commit a sin, God should forgive me. I sacrificed a lot the other time and gained nothing. I can't risk that again.

What would you advice?

Boys living off the streets knows better, trust me, I know too


Best bet. Get an apartment say 6months for him, one room or so, I am sure u can afford it.

It is better than allowing him live with ya