₦airaland Forum

Hi Niralanders...

I really need your sincere advice as a friend and a distressed brother.
I am in a relationship with this pretty lady. The relationship began about 7months ago. she love me so much, and I love her too. I was the one who disflowered her.
But based on many relationship shipwrecks I have seen, I am so so scared of knotting the tie with her...because she had this ex boyfriend who still calls and chat with her. Though, whenever I snoop in on her phone their chats is just mere "Hi" and "hello" . But when she picks his call sometimes in my presence they talk very well, asking about each others siblings and all that. There was even a day she picked his call and stylishly complained to the guy that why did his mum not ask about her, that has the mum forgotten her.
Worst of all, I recently saw her chat that she stylishly denied me when she used my pics as her DP on my birthday, when the guy asked her that is that her new lover .

I know she love me so much, and I love her too. But I am really really scared. I hate it with passion when women cheats, not to mention my own woman.
Pls, what do you guys ssuggest ?

She's not cheating on you,and for you to disflower her hmmm hold her tight the guy only wants to come and chop wetin she no give am chop the last time.
Don't feel scared already.

Not to sound like a pessimist , but most relationships fail, just enjoy it and see where it goes, don't kill yourself, nothing good lasts forever ,I know it's a messed upentality but you can't be apprehensive because of a relationship.

remsonik:
She's not cheating on you,and for you to disflower her hmmm hold her tight the guy only wants to come and chop wetin she no give am chop the last time.
Don't feel scared already.

Thannk you so much

pcguru1:
Not to sound like a pessimist , but most relationships fail, just enjoy it and see where it goes, don't kill yourself, nothing good lasts forever ,I know it's a messed upentality but you can't be apprehensive because of a relationship.

Yeah bro...am nt d type who get apprehensive dat easily but since I fell in love with her, damn I av become so soft. This love thing mhen its crazy !

She's up to how many years of age?cos I saw where you wrote tie the knot!I think you should stop asking her questions but keep checking her phone to get things(secrets)she might not tell you!

You called him her ex and you are the one that disflowered her?
I think she is open minded to be talking to him in your presence. Just let her understand that you don't like the continuous chats & calls with her ex. She will call it jealousy and say you are trying to control her but say it & mean it. Then give her time am sure she will slowly stop all that. These young ladies love it when they have the attention of lots of guys and if you don't monitor it may go out of control .

Y did she not allow d ex sex if she truely loves him d girl loves u dts y she can giv u her virginity pretend as if nothing happen and continue to show her lov u wl win her from d distraction bc I knw its a mere distraction from d ex

olac21:
She's up to how many years of age?cos I saw where you wrote tie the knot!I think you should stop asking her questions but keep checking her phone to get things(secrets)she might not tell you!

She is 21. We are both in our final year in d University.

segzy0i:
Y did she not allow d ex sex if she truely loves him d girl loves u dts y she can giv u her virginity pretend as if nothing happen and continue to show her lov u wl win her from d distraction bc I knw its a mere distraction from d ex

Wow...I really like this. Thanks so much bro.

Prepare ur heart for hearbreak. Both of u are still learners. U won't end up marrying each other. The relationship would only add to ur experience and make u knw more abt urself. Now u knw u have serious jealousy issue to deal with. Goodluck

RadicallyBlunt:
Prepare ur heart for hearbreak. Both of u are still learners. U won't end up marrying each other. The relationship would only add to ur experience and make u knw more abt urself. Now u knw u have serious jealousy issue to deal with. Goodluck

I like this honest brutal advice, from my age 21-30 had so many girls I thought I will end up with.

RadicallyBlunt:
Prepare ur heart for hearbreak. Both of u are still learners. U won't end up marrying each other. The relationship would only add to ur experience and make u knw more abt urself. Now u knw u have serious jealousy issue to deal with. Goodluck

@Op, she is 21 and you are probably 23 - 26 and you think you want to tie the knot? Marriage is no joke. You are still in your senior year and you still have a lot of "job" to do after your graduation. I suggest you take it slow and let things play out naturally.

RadicallyBlunt:
Prepare ur heart for hearbreak. Both of u are still learners. U won't end up marrying each other. The relationship would only add to ur experience and make u knw more abt urself. Now u knw u have serious jealousy issue to deal with. Goodluck

Aint this pure pessimism ?
I have seen people who date each other from secondary sch till university and they will celebrate 30th wedding annivasary in July

Yeah...I know I av dis jealousy issue. now pls how can I deal with it ?

pcguru1:
I like this honest brutal advice, from my age 21-30 had so many girls I thought I will end up with.

But what if my story could be different from urs. I only asked for advice on how it can work out not advice on how it cannot. Thank you

abiodunalasa:
But what if my story could be different from urs. I only asked for advice on how it can work out not advice on how it cannot. Thank you

The decision relies on her not you, if she decides she can do better what can you do ?

abiodunalasa:
But what if my story could be different from urs. I only asked for advice on how it can work out not advice on how it cannot. Thank you

what if ? what if ? what if ?

very good question but it is riddled with uncertainty... what if?

. that is why we as men have to Hope for the Best and PLAN for the worst.

she loves u with all her heart .
but u can't stop her from all the temptation that will hit her from all corners. or u think say na only ur eyes sabi look fine thing? or u don't know how far men will go for her? lol.

if u put all ur mind in someone without planning for the worst that is when it will shock u when it happens and you will start asking more questions like nairaland people.

just because u deflowered her does not mean u are the alpha and omega of her heart. some guys don't even like to disvigin a girl, they leave it for another man to do and then they continue where they stopped.

be wise bro.

woman matter