₦airaland Forum

shamecurls:
And what if your choice of swallow is different, Like Fufu and Amala? Will you mix it too ? Is that one sweet too?

zealz4u:
I wonder wat married men do when konjI show up & d number 1 sign Is already existing. how do u make d move, wat response do u get?

Anabel:
Then I'll eat the one he likes. In as much as the soup don dey ok

Clone2020:
Number 8 and number 1 contradict each other. How can you say it's bad to give silent treatment and bickering then you say it's also good to fight??

maafen:
No both are saying one and the same thing. Let it out, do not bottle it up, because if both parties keep silent over each grievance and only retaliate silently, one day it will explode
and escalate into a big quarrel which may lead to divorce. But letting out every little offence and fighting over it has a way of rekindling the love when settled. So No 1 and 8 are on point

larion:
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

larion:
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

goingape:
anetuno the quack lawyer!

so you dey encourage married people to fight ABI

you no dey here news were married couple dey fight and the end result na knife for one persin Belle or bottle for another persin HEAD.


anetuno the quack lawyer he no go better for you.

priscaoge:
9. They have Edible Catering outside their marriage

larion:
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

anetuno:
https://i63.tinypic.com/migeug.jpg

For the best relationship insight and advice, turn to a divorce attorney. After all, every day they have a front-row seat to the kinds of petty drama and missteps that lead couples to split up. 

With that in mind, we asked family law attorneys from across the country to share some of the most obvious signs that a couple is likely to divorce. 

1. They give each other the silent treatment.

“It’s a bad sign if a couple bickers and it results in the silent treatment. Sure, fighting is healthy in a relationship but when it turns from playful to serious on a regular basis — and it ends in stonewalling — that doesn’t bode well for long-term success.” — Jason Levoy, an attorney and divorce coach in New York City

2. Their sex life is lackluster.

“This seems obvious and it is. People can go without sex, but the bottom line is that we are living creatures and sex is a natural desire. Yes, there are relationships that endure without sex, but as a divorce lawyer, it’s not a shock when a client tells me they have gone years without having sex with their partner.” — Randall M. Kessler, an attorney in Atlanta, Georgia

3. They have very little in common. 

“While it’s true that opposites attract, don’t assume that the qualities you fell in love with are going to keep a marriage together. For example, if someone is an extrovert and loves going out until the wee morning hours and the other spouse likes a warm bath at 7 p.m. followed by a glass of milk and a good book, there is no way the couple can sustain this lifestyle distance.” — Lisa Helfend Meyer, a divorce attorney in Los Angeles, California 

4. Their careers always come before the family.  

“It can be a problem when a partner always puts his or her career above everything else, including the relationship. This tends to be true, regardless of the agreement the couple has come to during the marriage. For example, my firm has represented laser-focused military members, whose partners initially agreed to take a backseat and raise the family so the military member could advance. But over the years, the stay-at-home spouse begins to resent the situation. Even the strongest relationships decay over time when one person puts their career aspirations ahead of the relationship.” — Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida 

5. They have contempt for one another. 

“Eye-rolling, belittling and treating each other with disdain are key indicators that a relationship will eventually disintegrate. While spouses don’t have to always see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage, they do have to respect each other and appreciate their differences, rather than viewing those differences as being signs that the other spouse is stupid or wrong.” — Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach in Chicago, Illinois 

6. They don’t respect each other’s love language. 

“Knowing your partner’s love language — being aware of how he or she feels appreciated — is crucial for long-term success in marriage. Although spouses may love each other, they may not feel loved if they have different love languages. For instance, if one spouse shows love by doing helpful things or by buying gifts, but the other receives love through verbal affirmations, loving touch or quality time together, the love may not really be received.” — Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and mediator in Marina del Rey, California 

7. They’re not honest about their spending. 

“A marriage is a partnership and each person should be accountable to the other for their family’s finances. When the finances are split, it’s easy for both partners to overspend. A couple can keep separate or joint bank accounts, but when there is no transparency on how money is being spent and saved, it’s nearly impossible to set and reach financial goals like buying a home or planning for retirement. It becomes a growing frustration.” — Puja A. Sachdev, a divorce attorney in San Diego, California 

8. They never fight.

“Many spouses tend to avoid awkward situations and problems by either ‘shading the truth’ or ignoring something that has been on their mind. This leads to resentment. This person is your best friend, confidante and lover. You should be able to say anything to them. You should be able to to accept one another’s comments without destroying the bonds of matrimony.” — Douglas S. Kepanis, a divorce attorney in New York City.

© HUFFPOST.COM

larion:
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

Greatzeus:
Posts like these is another opportunity for bachelors and spinsters to learn and prepare and make necessary adjustments.
No.8 though must couples fight ?

larion:
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

anetuno:
What a story! You know we are such hypocrites that people are applauding you. The principles involved in marriage are becoming more and more universal and I wonder why you think these observations made in this article are out of place in Nigeria because you think our own women should be ready to take all the abuse and mistreatment that nineteenth century wives endured from characters like you so that their marriage will succeed while the men will excuse themselves and continue to pull in a different direction.
You have to realize that Nigerian women are now getting the kind of education that their western counterparts get and are now more gainfully employed like their western counterparts so the issues of marital challenges are similar and make this piece relevant.
People like you have to shed the toga of 'I am an African man and my wife must obey whatever I say and has no right to make any input and if the marriage fails it is her fault and I can go ahead and take another wife'. This is twenty-first century and we must learn and share ideas that will make things work out for us. Your idea that Nigerian marriages should be cast in iron and it is the duty of the woman to make it work is fantastically outdated.
I will advise those that are liking your post to read through the entire piece and take whatever they may find useful and apply it in their marriage and relationship, this piece doesn't claim to be a manual of how to make marriages work.

anetuno:
https://i63.tinypic.com/migeug.jpg

For the best relationship insight and advice, turn to a divorce attorney. After all, every day they have a front-row seat to the kinds of petty drama and missteps that lead couples to split up. 

With that in mind, we asked family law attorneys from across the country to share some of the most obvious signs that a couple is likely to divorce. 

1. They give each other the silent treatment.

“It’s a bad sign if a couple bickers and it results in the silent treatment. Sure, fighting is healthy in a relationship but when it turns from playful to serious on a regular basis — and it ends in stonewalling — that doesn’t bode well for long-term success.” — Jason Levoy, an attorney and divorce coach in New York City

2. Their sex life is lackluster.

“This seems obvious and it is. People can go without sex, but the bottom line is that we are living creatures and sex is a natural desire. Yes, there are relationships that endure without sex, but as a divorce lawyer, it’s not a shock when a client tells me they have gone years without having sex with their partner.” — Randall M. Kessler, an attorney in Atlanta, Georgia

3. They have very little in common. 

“While it’s true that opposites attract, don’t assume that the qualities you fell in love with are going to keep a marriage together. For example, if someone is an extrovert and loves going out until the wee morning hours and the other spouse likes a warm bath at 7 p.m. followed by a glass of milk and a good book, there is no way the couple can sustain this lifestyle distance.” — Lisa Helfend Meyer, a divorce attorney in Los Angeles, California 

4. Their careers always come before the family.  

“It can be a problem when a partner always puts his or her career above everything else, including the relationship. This tends to be true, regardless of the agreement the couple has come to during the marriage. For example, my firm has represented laser-focused military members, whose partners initially agreed to take a backseat and raise the family so the military member could advance. But over the years, the stay-at-home spouse begins to resent the situation. Even the strongest relationships decay over time when one person puts their career aspirations ahead of the relationship.” — Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida 

5. They have contempt for one another. 

“Eye-rolling, belittling and treating each other with disdain are key indicators that a relationship will eventually disintegrate. While spouses don’t have to always see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage, they do have to respect each other and appreciate their differences, rather than viewing those differences as being signs that the other spouse is stupid or wrong.” — Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach in Chicago, Illinois 

6. They don’t respect each other’s love language. 

“Knowing your partner’s love language — being aware of how he or she feels appreciated — is crucial for long-term success in marriage. Although spouses may love each other, they may not feel loved if they have different love languages. For instance, if one spouse shows love by doing helpful things or by buying gifts, but the other receives love through verbal affirmations, loving touch or quality time together, the love may not really be received.” — Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and mediator in Marina del Rey, California 

7. They’re not honest about their spending. 

“A marriage is a partnership and each person should be accountable to the other for their family’s finances. When the finances are split, it’s easy for both partners to overspend. A couple can keep separate or joint bank accounts, but when there is no transparency on how money is being spent and saved, it’s nearly impossible to set and reach financial goals like buying a home or planning for retirement. It becomes a growing frustration.” — Puja A. Sachdev, a divorce attorney in San Diego, California 

8. They never fight.

“Many spouses tend to avoid awkward situations and problems by either ‘shading the truth’ or ignoring something that has been on their mind. This leads to resentment. This person is your best friend, confidante and lover. You should be able to say anything to them. You should be able to to accept one another’s comments without destroying the bonds of matrimony.” — Douglas S. Kepanis, a divorce attorney in New York City.

© HUFFPOST.COM