₦airaland Forum

BREAKING NEWS!

SUNDAY 26 JUNE 2016- In what many are calling the most shocking and controversial display of religious resistance ever witnessed in the history of the University of Benin, theologists and researchers at the Department of Religious studies have, according to raw data gathered since the beginning of this academic session, confirmed that one Mr ksslib, holds a grudge against the church of God.

"This is very exciting news" said a professor at the University who pleaded anonymity. "We have been studying him patiently for months since the beginning of this academic session, and the break-through was when this Sunday, today, he for the umpteenth time, like the dozen Sundays that have passed, refused going to church " .

The professor added that the next phase of the research will focus on finding out the grudge this Mr ksslib has against the house of God, and maybe then, they can begin to convince him that God, who loves him so so much, and was kind enough to create him, is not the enemy.

"Astonishing! How one can mange not to attend any Sunday service throughout an academic session is simply astonishing" proclaimed another visibly baffled professor at the university, who also like his colleague, pleaded anonimity for security reasons. "Such a feat is not for the feeble minded, I tell ya. It's amazing, and that's why we want to study him more and have a rare insight into how his mind works"

Eyewitnesses confirmed to our sources that whispers were making rounds within campus that not only does he have a connection with the biblical antichrist, but also ranks high in their hierarchy of leadership.

"It is only the devil that can choose not to go to church on sunday" fired, one Mr Goodnews Holywater, who is the acting president of a popular fellowship on campus. "The Bible warned us about people like him" he continued. " Mr ksslib, is the accuser of the brethren, simple" .

Rumors also have it that Mr ksslib's deliberate resistance to see the house of God eye to eye, has birthed a new unit of measurement that has gone viral on campus. Where the name "ksslib" is used to measure how often one goes to church. A typical scenario is how instead of answering a question like "How many times have you gone to church this year?" with something like "I've gone twice" , one honours the legend by replying " two ksslibs" .

Sources confirmed that at press time, while male students were seen in troops, rushing to church in their starched longsleeves, and a crusade of girls were spotted, struggling on high heels and seductive mini skirts to make it on time, Mr ksslib was seen within the conclaves of hall 4, chatting and smiling to his phone's screen and occasionally checking his bunk bed for bed bugs.

Although, he could not be reached directly as at the time of this report, it was confirmed via sources close to him that Mr ksslib has no intention of attending church anytime soon, having over the years discovered that what worked for him was his relationship with God, and not some "I JUST HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH" mentality which many see as an obligation rather than a genuine act of reverence towards God.

Happy Sunday.

Ksslib:
Happy Sunday.

Nice write up. Enjoyed it.

Lmao at MrGoodnews holywater.

sonOfLucifer:
Nice write up. Enjoyed it.

Lmao at MrGoodnews holywater.

Glad you did.

Nice write up.

like seriously,u stayed in hall 4?which unit?

Church goer is not equal to christian.

Ignorance is the problem of Nigerians.

Nice thread op.

Uyi168:
like seriously,u stayed in hall 4?which unit?

Unit 2 .

Touchnot01:
Church goer is not equal to christian.

Ignorance is the problem of Nigerians.

Nice thread op.

I concur.

Ksslib:
I concur.

My warm Greetings to you bro, I trust ur Sunday went well .


Just as I promised to remind you earlier on, the Mr Nairaland voting will commence tommorow by 9am.


I want to appreciate you once again for agreeing to vote falconey. Thanks so much Sir.

Ksslib:
Unit 2 .

here is the link to the voting thread bro. please vote falconey just as you promised. thanks so much.
https://www.nairaland.com/3261218/mr-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination/12

Very hilarious write up. I must tell ya

Ksslib:
Unit 2 .

...I stayed in unit 1..Greetings

Uyi168:
...I stayed in unit 1..Greetings

Greetings to you too, my brother from another unit.