₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
All this wahala just for se. x?? Haba!




See why some men would rather pay 'opo' N5k to get it done and closed. Time is money please.

You can display affection at a leisure time, but you shouldn't recommend these assignments as means to get s.ex with one's wife.

Acidosis:
All this wahala just for se. x?? Haba!




See why some men would rather pay 'opo' N5k to get it done and closed. Time is money please.

You can display affection at a leisure time, but you shouldn't recommend these assignments as means to get s.ex with one's wife.

Timbuktou:
That's not how to spell my name, by the way. What makes me selfish? Do you have a penîs? Do you know how crucial the vagïna is for a dîck?

innovestor:
Please don't take offence whatsoever. The answer to that question is this: Imagine an Engineer preferring a medical solution to a Doctor. He might be right in the solution but it might come from an engineering point of view. The practicality of the solution would be confirmed during application. Read some posts before now and you will understand what i mean.

I am not the fan of "changing number things". She still has her number. Like i said whatever does not change before marriage does not change because of marriage. Change is an individual resolve.

MadCow1:
Talk to her..

[s]Then once in a while, play away match wey you know say second leg no dey.. #YesISaidIt.. #WithPPE..[/s]

Then try and be dominant during sex.. Tell her to turn around, talk dirty to her and make her respond.. Ask her 'Who is your Daddy?' Hopefully She does not call her Fathers name..


Basically have a talk and get dominate in the bedroom.. Buy her lingeries and stuff. But you must take the lead and hopefully she will follow.

motherfucker:
When I read stuffs like this I laugh because my future wife has no idea of what she will have.

Those things listed by Onegai are things that should come naturally in this 21st century. We are not in the 60s, 70s, or 80s of our parent's days... come on.

Timbuktou:
Do you, her future husband, know what you will have?

Oga, marry first. You think the situation with OP was like this in the beginning?

motherfucker:
When I read stuffs like this I laugh because my future wife has no idea of what she will have.

Those things listed by Onegai are things that should come naturally in this 21st century. We are not in the 60s, 70s, or 80s of our parent's days... come on.

pcguru1:
Sincerely for someone with a vulgar name, you do give reasonable advice's. I was expecting the F words and other type of languages

motherfucker:
bros, no b fight!

Thing isyou need to understand women's body language.

Women are very sensitive being, their emotion is their mind and brain it's like the weather--when it's cloudy it most likely gonna rain.

Understanding a woman's sexuality is VERY important! No b by bang, bang poourrr.

Make the man set motion wey go make the woman OPEN up...

Ymodulus:
@ MizMyColi

Please can you message me on Whats-app?

Onegai:
Innovestor, today is Thursday, send your wife a message right now, ask her what she's doing, if there's light etc. Come home earlier than usual and play with the kids. Buy cake for your wife and everybody eat. When I say play, I mean PLAY. Dance like an egun masquerade. During this play, you guys should make a paper ball, recreate the NIG-GER match of yesterday (pls be Germany ) and stylishly throw it at Mum. Let her pass it back, infact,rush her if she holds the ball long. Feel free to smack her bum during the play, no red card given. Don't ask for sex.

Tomorrow, come home and watch whatever she wants to watch, discuss it with her animatedly. What hairdo is she wearing? Bet you don't know offhand tell her to bring her nailpolish, you want to practise painting because the economy has crashed and manipedis ain't cheap. Ask her what's going with life. Just listen. Gist freely.

Saturday, you and her go to the mall. Go watch a movie together (no kids allowed). In the car home, hold her hand. When you get home, don't sit in your usual seat (the one you use as your personal space), sit with her. Tell her "I've missed us having fun, I've missed you". See how the evening goes.

Mindfulness:
The thread has been very interesting so far and it shows how different people / women are.

I love my man to do some of the things suggested here (a weekend alone, an evening out, help with chores, gifts ) but I would find some of the attention suffocating as well (holding hands, cuddling, flaunting me on social media ).

OP needs to find out what pushes his wife's buttons. Everyone is different.

What MOST women have in common, however, is that they like freshness so OP ask yourself if your personal hygiene meets all required standards. Some men let themselves go after marriage - and before someone starts to hyperventilate - some women too.

benjibabs:
1.) did you really tell your wife you will not discuss the subject again after trying twice? So, how would you resolve the issue na? Oh, you will grab one of your side chicks already inviting you, Shey? Wrong move! You will only end up destroying your home. Biko, don't do it.
2.) I don't completely agree with dumping your female friends just because you got married; some friends are worth keeping. However, those ones that are inviting you to bed, you need to get rid of them double fast. They are temptation and trouble waiting to happen. If you keep communicating with them, it will happen one day. Those ones with good heads on their shoulders, make them your family friends. Never keep female friends who your wife is not friend with. I'm talking of close friends and not acquaintances.
3.) I read a book where the author describes the mind of woman as a stack of books and the mind of man as a set of books in a shelf. If a woman desires to read the book at the bottom of the stack, she will have to remove all the books on top of it to reach it. For man, he can simply reach and pull any book to read any time. In a nutshell, if your wife has anything on her mind bothering her and se.x has been pushed to the bottom of the stack of issues, you will have to help her clear the issues before se.x can happen. We men can keep issues aside and enjoy good se.x and tackle issues later. So, open that channel of communication on the issue again and get to the bottom of the issue. Don't be too quick to say she has no issues because you provide everything she needs. A lot of times it is not about needs. You will be surprise what you will turn up. Most of the time, it is something simple but overlooked.
4.) Men are visual, while women are emotional. No matter how tired you are, if your wife walks around in se.xy lingerie, you will respond and perform. For women, visuals alone will not do it. You need to press your wife's emotional botton to get your desired response. It seems you have chores and other distractions under control, but are you engaging her? Do you guys spend time together before retiring to the bedroom after work ? Read Onegai's response again about spending time with your wife. Don't ask for se.x, create the atmosphere for it.
5.) Your wife's attention is divided when the kids start to roll in. It will only get "worse" with increasing number of children. Your alone time with your wife will be reduced to almost nothing; cuddling in front of TV while watching a good movie will disappear, se.x anytime and anywhere in the house will suddenly go extinct
etc. Onegai wrote about kids timeline and what to expect in her second response. Read it again and that will give you a good picture what your wife might be going through since you mentioned you have kids. Taking care of children is a FULL TIME job. I doff my hat to all mothers in the house; may God bless their efforts on their children. With children around, you have to make conscious effort to plan for se.x, otherwise it will be left in the back burner, either by one or both of you.

Now, go and put together a creative strategy to get enough of the "Wetin call" to your satisfaction. And, while at it, get rid of all those side chicks you are using as safety net.

innovestor:
I am always fresh, even if i no baff for 10 days . but on a serious not hygiene is not the issue. I have clues from most of the comments. but i am enjoying the exchange. But bear in mind that i will not do what Onegai suggests, 3days prep and activity for one round of sex? Na wa. lol

TV01:
Sex in marriage is both a right and an obligation. Yes, one should pay attention to romance, certainly, one must be considerate given sensitive or difficult conditions or situations, but the fact remains, sexual intimacy is a particular of marriage.

The issue OP has brought here is not “his” problem, it’s their problem, and the will is lacking on her part. She should be looking at how to resolve this even more, or at least as much as he is, as she is failing in her wifely duties.

I laugh when I hear strident advice about what “he needs to do”, and changes “he needs to make”. Especially when the advice is all around romancing, woo’ing and pampering her .

The truth is, we do not know the root cause of the problem here, but a good and understanding wife should make all efforts to restore normalcy. If he has the worst halitosis, she can communicate that (as sensitively as possible) and support him through it. Likewise if he has any other physical or grooming issue.

And again, if the issue is the stress of their day-to-day life, she should be working as assiduously as he is to make fundamental changes and create time for them to rekindle their passion.

If the issue is her low libido, again, she needs to understand that she is obligated to make efforts to satisfy him. Like Timbuktou said, you can’t negotiate attraction, and likewise a man should not have to pander or graft for what is his by right. So I may prescribe a different approach, but I agree, men too dey eff up!

And if the issue is his loss of status or desirability in her eyes, woo’ing and romancing her will make his stock fall even further – she’ll soon despise him, or at best codedly friendzone her spouse.

It’s why I advise men to marry younger/fitter women, and ones who naturally acknowledge their dominance and headship. Not dominance as in being tyrannical, or for reasons of control, but leading and being in some ways more mature and learned. I wonder the age/status gap between OP and his wife?

Younger/fitter, because when the stresses of life come upon women, the older and less fit they are, the more less likely they will be make the effort required to keep in shape and make pleasing you a priority. And the more likely it is that you will find yourself in a place where you are duty bound to fulfil your obligations, but getting little by way of satisfaction in return.

Would a dutiful husband become a vassal in his own home? Does OP develop headache when the bills are due? Or when his wife needs aso ebi or favors for her family, does she first clear a weekend and map a schedule of extra special TLC for him ?

Men run your homes. Address issues at root and be prepared to make long-term structural changes if required. By all means romance her, certainly woo the butt of her. But do it because she deserves it and you want to. Not to curry sexual favor, or pander to her sense of entitlement or failings, dammit! I’ll stop now lest I punch a hole in my lappy .


TV

LynnPetra:
In as much as our men sabi carry prick share outside, sometimes the fault comes from the wife herself . Just like what one female pastor said one day, "Woman if your husband still sleeps with you be happy!Tell him after the whole kwokirikwo, dim thank you".Because he get some women wey their husband no dey fiyck again. They now drill the holes if their numerous girlfriends. You women don't realise you have power . As a wife, you have to be creative and calculating. Let's take for example, men are moved by what they see, whether it is imagined first or not. I don't see the reason why a woman will just tie wrapper and Sit at home till evening. Why?? Some of you who are "lucky to be housewives, after the whole lagos traffic ,oga go enter house say make him rest ,na so him go see woman for sitting room with wrapper tied to her waist, she fit dey lose her hair sef, or her hair is messed up. She go come stand up, pant sef she no wear. If I be man sef i will feel to run out back to work. Kilode?

As a wife you must always be in the mood except of cause you are tired or exhausted. Some women go fast for one month, yamsh sef dem no go give oga. Once you're married, your toto is no longer ya own. Like I was saying, you know sey oga go enter house by 5pm, why not take a clean bath, look clean, presentable amd alluring, wear your short skirt with white pant inside. Food wey them wrap dey attract pass . You fit just lay down "carelessly" for bedroom untop Africa Magic or WWF and pretend of course after greeting him, that you are engrossed with the TV. If you notice say oga Don dey u use style look that side as him dey comot suit, you can "carelessly" adjust the position to reveal more whites".Even if he is tired he will be confused, by the time you carelessly stand up and ask him,"Obim what will yo love to eat?".He will be like,"Em. ..what did I want to eat *carry eyes up like say the food dey ceiling fan*. ..haa!*sits down on the bed*you know what, let me just lie down and make that decision. ...."Know mind oga, na Bleep dey hungry am . join him in that bed and see if he won't pound you like yam.

Mindfulness:
Ok then.

Has your wife always been like this or can you tell when it started?


I am enjoying this exchange too, especially observing how some people compromise their high moral standards in the name of loyalty.

LynnPetra:
In as much as our men sabi carry prick share outside, sometimes the fault comes from the wife herself . Just like what one female pastor said one day, "Woman if your husband still sleeps with you be happy!Tell him after the whole kwokirikwo, dim thank you".Because he get some women wey their husband no dey fiyck again. They now drill the holes if their numerous girlfriends. You women don't realise you have power . As a wife, you have to be creative and calculating. Let's take for example, men are moved by what they see, whether it is imagined first or not. I don't see the reason why a woman will just tie wrapper and Sit at home till evening. Why?? Some of you who are "lucky to be housewives, after the whole lagos traffic ,oga go enter house say make him rest ,na so him go see woman for sitting room with wrapper tied to her waist, she fit dey lose her hair sef, or her hair is messed up. She go come stand up, pant sef she no wear. If I be man sef i will feel to run out back to work. Kilode?

As a wife you must always be in the mood except of cause you are tired or exhausted. Some women go fast for one month, yamsh sef dem no go give oga. Once you're married, your toto is no longer ya own. Like I was saying, you know sey oga go enter house by 5pm, why not take a clean bath, look clean, presentable amd alluring, wear your short skirt with white pant inside. Food wey them wrap dey attract pass . You fit just lay down "carelessly" for bedroom untop Africa Magic or WWF and pretend of course after greeting him, that you are engrossed with the TV. If you notice say oga Don dey u use style look that side as him dey comot suit, you can "carelessly" adjust the position to reveal more whites".Even if he is tired he will be confused, by the time you carelessly stand up and ask him,"Obim what will yo love to eat?".He will be like,"Em. ..what did I want to eat *carry eyes up like say the food dey ceiling fan*. ..haa!*sits down on the bed*you know what, let me just lie down and make that decision. ...."Know mind oga, na Bleep dey hungry am . join him in that bed and see if he won't pound you like yam.

innovestor:
I am always fresh, even if i no baff for 10 days . but on a serious not hygiene is not the issue. I have clues from most of the comments. but i am enjoying the exchange. But bear in mind that i will not do what Onegai suggests, 3days prep and activity for one round of sex? Na wa. lol

TV01: Would a dutiful husband become a vassal in his own home? Does OP develop headache when the bills are due? Or when his wife needs aso ebi or favors for her family, does she first clear a weekend and map a schedule of extra special TLC for him?

innovestor:
On average, love making between couples is always much better when newly married. Then you both are all alone in the house, no much responsibilities, quite some time at one's disposal for blending etc.

But with children and more responsibilities (for both partners; i also bath the kids and change nappies too, also work responsibilities), the conditions are different. But one must try to make those things you enjoy not be looked at as not necessary. I know i have been doing my bit. But my issue is that i was not getting full feedback as expected.

innovestor:
Part of my argument is this....i should not be the one almost always making the first move in sex, like she no dey like the thing. I consider that married ladies should be interested in making moves to seduce and out rightly cajole a man to make love to her. No be man birthright na!!

innovestor:
Part of my argument is this....i should not be the one almost always making the first move in sex, like she no dey like the thing. I consider that married ladies should be interested in making moves to seduce and out rightly cajole a man to make love to her. No be man birthright na!!

innovestor:
I am always fresh, even if i no baff for 10 days . but on a serious not hygiene is not the issue. I have clues from most of the comments. but i am enjoying the exchange. But bear in mind that i will not do what Onegai suggests, 3days prep and activity for one round of sex? Na wa. lol

RiloKiley:
OK, this was good.
Having a similar problem. Will try it out and see how it goes.

TV01:
Sex in marriage is both a right and an obligation. Yes, one should pay attention to romance, certainly, one must be considerate given sensitive or difficult conditions or situations, but the fact remains, sexual intimacy is a particular of marriage.

The issue OP has brought here is not “his” problem, it’s their problem, and the will is lacking on her part. She should be looking at how to resolve this even more, or at least as much as he is, as she is failing in her wifely duties.

I laugh when I hear strident advice about what “he needs to do”, and changes “he needs to make”. Especially when the advice is all around romancing, woo’ing and pampering her .

The truth is, we do not know the root cause of the problem here, but a good and understanding wife should make all efforts to restore normalcy. If he has the worst halitosis, she can communicate that (as sensitively as possible) and support him through it. Likewise if he has any other physical or grooming issue.

And again, if the issue is the stress of their day-to-day life, she should be working as assiduously as he is to make fundamental changes and create time for them to rekindle their passion.

If the issue is her low libido, again, she needs to understand that she is obligated to make efforts to satisfy him. Like Timbuktou said, you can’t negotiate attraction, and likewise a man should not have to pander or graft for what is his by right. So I may prescribe a different approach, but I agree, men too dey eff up!

And if the issue is his loss of status or desirability in her eyes, woo’ing and romancing her will make his stock fall even further – she’ll soon despise him, or at best codedly friendzone her spouse.

It’s why I advise men to marry younger/fitter women, and ones who naturally acknowledge their dominance and headship. Not dominance as in being tyrannical, or for reasons of control, but leading and being in some ways more mature and learned. I wonder the age/status gap between OP and his wife?

Younger/fitter, because when the stresses of life come upon women, the older and less fit they are, the more less likely they will be make the effort required to keep in shape and make pleasing you a priority. And the more likely it is that you will find yourself in a place where you are duty bound to fulfil your obligations, but getting little by way of satisfaction in return.

Would a dutiful husband become a vassal in his own home? Does OP develop headache when the bills are due? Or when his wife needs aso ebi or favors for her family, does she first clear a weekend and map a schedule of extra special TLC for him ?

Men run your homes. Address issues at root and be prepared to make long-term structural changes if required. By all means romance her, certainly woo the butt of her. But do it because she deserves it and you want to. Not to curry sexual favor, or pander to her sense of entitlement or failings, dammit! I’ll stop now lest I punch a hole in my lappy .


TV

cococandy:
What has my marital status got to do with your predicament?


Yes I suggest you change your number. It's a cost married women bear all the time. Tell me, if your wife has men begging her to come sleep with them that you'll be happy if she continues to keep the connection between herself and them alive. You guys actually have guts. Talking about how you can easily get it outside. Like this thread won't be up in flame by now if your wife was the OP and made such careless statement like you did.


No you've to do what you have to do to save your marriage (if it means something to you)
So yes change it. It's not that big of a cost. The important people will have your new number. Stop keeping temptation alive in your home. We are all humans and can fall to prolonged temptation. Don't tempt yourself.