₦airaland Forum

Dats how my husbands friend use style style to stay with us for 5months!! With his girlfriend oooo, it started with "let's visit your new apartment now" my people I see shege! wen God go catch ham, dam overflowed our area and our apartment was flooded. This guy left the next day and still asked hubby for the money he was owing him!

The guy get job abi na naira bet plus baba ijebu be him work,
if him get work try make am see reason he needs to make solid plans and still dey help am find house,but if na baba ijebu him dey work wit on weekends buy white chicken,tie red wrapper use chalk paint circle for ground and ur face, for midnyt oh, u go pretend as if na secret but u just want make he see u,I'm sure if he see u himself go pretend say him dey sleep dey watch u,kill the chicken in the middle of the circle carry the chicken head go near am speak in tongues,next morning cook chicken chop,I'm sure e no go near u
do am every 2wks d guy go run by himsef
meanwhile it pays to be ur broda keeper u Neva can tell wat 2moro brings

The Hausas have a saying
" Wanda ya kwana lafiya shi ya so" person when sleep fine na him want sleep fine
What happend to the good ol' fashioned "fück off?"

Hello Poster. Please, just try as much as possible to be nice to this friend of yours because life is very very unpredictable. The tables can turn and then it's you needing him. No one can accurately predict the future. If he's been a really good and close friend before now, then you may ask him to support you with foodstuff, toiletries, etc. You may also sincerely ask him what his plans about accommodation are. However, if he's always been the fair weather/opportunist kind of friend, please, tell him categorically that he needs to leave. I say this because the fair weather/opportunist kind of friend will only suck you dry, never help you in time of need, never appreciate your kindness to him and will even go as far as tarnishing your image before others.

I had one recently. I just told him that my landlord hate tenant bringing in people to squirt with them. in fact the guy left one Sunday wit some of my things till today

Hahahahahahaaha I can't stop laughing oooh. Bro I've had this exactly experience. Mehn so there are actually guys like this enh. I though it was just this my friend alone.

Omo from make I know your house we ended up staying for a whole semester ooh. No be play. Choi.

Fear this guy's

If I'm on your situation, I'll just tell him to leave... Period

When it comes to accommodating 5%out if 100 in girls can accommodate a fellow girl without treating her like a beggar or street urchin in her house and 75 % out 100 guys are good at accommodating friend or anyone.

Girls are the worst as they start picking out faults in you and expecting you to go beyond your limit to satisfy them in order to continue housing you, yet the sacrifice still remains insignificant.

Nothing bad in helping out because no one knows tomorrow. This kind of feeling the guy is having or developing is in every human being just that few choose to neglect it in order to do good.

Instead of coming here to say all this which the guy is not even aware of, try to talk to him if you can't accommodate a homeless niga ok? if it is about contribution let him know if he is not or if he is not working let him look for something , if possible help him get one. All na hustling.

First, you thought he was coming with money to flex till yawa gas; you saw him with his bag yet you no ask bros na wetin,why now? still you haven't said anything concerning that to him. Are you guys playing mind game? Trash things out with him and call a spade a spade.

Abeg, your problem is not the guy but you are your problem and also the solution.

Humanity service is the healing we all need in life.

I remember once sleeping in an uncompleted building for 2weeks in Lagos in 2013 during my I.T because the girl i was staying with wants her space with her boyfriend and makes me spend more than my income. She drove me out but today i am here, getting better, ahead of her and by God grace will own a house one day to accommodate enough.

Do good if you can as long it is not something beyond you but if you can't, don't.

Funny as it may sound it is very true. I hate it when you overstay your welcome cos to start with you never informed me that you'll be staying cos u know that if you had told me I would have asked you how long you will be staying and prepared myself for the discomfort that comes with squatting an individual in my house. Some Nigerians just believe they are too smart. I've had a similar experience when a friend of mine told me he was having accommodation issues and begged to stay with me till he got money to provide accommodation for himself. I allowed him into my house only for him to bring in his girlfriend to the house and she spent one week with us. Good thing it was a self contained apartment else whenever she wants to change her clothes I'll have to leave MY ROOM for them. Op, talk to your friend as a man and make him understand that you've tried for him but can no longer continue. He may likely end up beefing or keeping malice with you when he finally leave (cos that's what most of them do) but you shouldn't continue to discomfort yourself. Next time don't be fooled by their sweet words of flexing you, make we hang out, I no go stress you, etc cos all na wash

officialmcfresh1:
Hahahahahahaaha I can't stop laughing oooh. Bro I've had this exactly experience. Mehn so there are actually guys like this enh. I though it was just this my friend alone.

Omo from make I know your house we ended up staying for a whole semester ooh. No be play. Choi.

Fear this guy's

Na so them dae do, d idiot even carry him girlfriend join us for house and I cone dae feed them too. The guy no go touch him foodstuffs, him go say make I borrow am money and when I borrow am money him go use am buy meat pie and ice cream for him girlfriend, him go watch film for midnight dae make noise and I no go fit sleep, these guys got no joy I swear. Look for a way to throw him out. Tell him your cousin will be visiting you soon or something. Just look for an excuse before an excuse finds you
#LOBATAN

AuroraB:
Got one on my neck. I've run out of excuses why I can't accommodate her yet. Had to tell her I owe the landlord thus I dodge being home. She's still not swayed. Lied I'm in between jobs, whosai . Mbok, contri dey somehow ooooo

Op, I know he doesn't like being a sorta free-loader...you should have told him a while back, he gotta go. What with the 'Mr. Nice-guy though

You are using ur oga computer to dey watch movie, abi? I go tell ur oga for you

ehimeayeni:
Guy this matter is very simple. Just stop buying stuff, including food for the house. If you hungry use style and go to mama put to eat. When he don find out say you nor get money and na only him dey spend, him go run

God bless you bro cos squatters never want to spend their money

lol, I love myself & my apartment very very well, unless ur blood relative(like brother, sister) you will never stay with me for morethan two days, you must vacate, I hate freeloaders & squatters in my life, I make it very clear to my friends so they don't even think about it

where someone is accommodating people, some people are sending them packing. smh

Op do whatever it takes to accommodate your friend for as long as he stays, its for the mean time. except u are married or u can afford a house somewhere for him. It might be your turn tomorrow

achieverme:
You are using ur oga computer to dey watch movie, abi? I go tell ur oga for you

Kamdan

Chuksemi, why didn't you submit this piece for my previewing prowess before publishing, ehn?



Well, you should have instigated a fake fasting and prayer that only ends at 6pm.



You didn't add that these set of people sleep as if they own the bed. you wake to see their legs on your head, their hands on you 3rd leg or you on the floor. Amaka sef serves him the food she cooks when you no get. hehehhe



He and landlord discuss passionate(in Falz voice) passionate politics and he can't but loff yim. One of the best way is to make an elderly that resembles Cuba Okadigbo or Olu Jacobs to come visit you and query his presence..... ah that makes three in a room?


(in Falz voice, Basketmouth's uncertainty expression, Bovi's stupid look and Klint da drunk's 'use style Waka comot' pose) This case is a circular cyclical

Lol. I know about this. Too well. "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days - Benjamin Franklin.

I particularly hate how such people always put on a fake 'charisma' in your domain. In a compound/street where you deliberately want to keep a low profile and maintain a private existence, but where some busybody neighbours would prefer to see you as too snobbish or pompous or quiet, the foolish squatter would go around trying to seem over nice and over funny and over 'charismatic' to everyone - trying to create a stupidly unnecessary contrast. I had that experience once and as soon as I noticed that, I ejected the idiot immediately. Why didn't he subsequently squat with any of the neighbours he was forming Mr social with?

It's easy to form fake charisma and sociableness where you have an agenda with nothing to lose. But not at my expense.

For current or future squatters, one way to prolong your stay and reduce your nuisance value with your host is to 'mirror' him or her as much as possible. To put it simply, you have to behave like Romans when you are in Rome. Don't try to be the fake star of the neighbourhood when you see that your host prefers to be low-key. Mirror his or her lifestyle and ways of doing things around the place so that your unwelcome stay might just be longer than otherwise.

I Feel You Bros!

Had Accommodation Wahala when I newly got to Lagos, save for some friends that helped me out, I would have packed my bags back to Enugu.

So I decided to help others folks with similar problems till I stopped 3 years ago.

Now I welcome no one into my house save my siblings and relations.

How I got rid of Ifeanyi
He was just a terrible cook and waster, very very inconsiderate. Wants to raped his boss. Claims to be a Fine Boy. Fought me on a new year day, because he thought I ceased the mobile phone I got for him, so as to prevent him from trailing his boss. A Drunk! I got tried of picking him up dead drunk from beer parlor, and the most annoying thing, he always wear my most valuable clothes those days he chooses to get drunk.

So my rent was due, I found a better apartment, asked him to please follow me to arrange the new place. He said no! So I told him he will never smell the new apartment when I move in.

I knew very well my previous caretaker will get rid of him immediately I leave the apartment. so I packed into the new apartment. 2 months later he got kicked out of the old apartment.

He called and begged and begged but I said: Lie! Lie!!

so he is now in the village!.

How I got rid of Tola
Tola was and is a very special friend of mine. Still loves him as a brother. Had accommodation problem, moved into my new apartment, started sleeping with my landlord's wife.

I suddenly noticed my friendly landlord started been mean to me.

3 times he confronted me at the busstop, followed me to my apartment to rescue his wife from the arms of Tola! So one morning I Parked Tola's bags for Him, change my locks, after work, did not allow him into the house, but handed him his bags through the windows.

Chucks
Was building a house while living with me, always claiming his company is owning him. when I found out I was shocked, asked him,why he did not tell me, He said if he had told me, I would have brought he bad luck.

The fight that night no get part 2. was bloodly

http://www.bummyla.com

AuroraB:
Got one on my neck. I've run out of excuses why I can't accommodate her yet. Had to tell her I owe the landlord thus I dodge being home. She's still not swayed. Lied I'm in between jobs, whosai . Mbok, contri dey somehow ooooo

Op, I know he doesn't like being a sorta free-loader...you should have told him a while back, he gotta go. What with the 'Mr. Nice-guy though

The boldened got me rolling on the floor with laughter. It's been a while since I last heard that word.

AuroraB:
Kamdan

....on one condition.....you go accept my PM.

Dear, tell him to his face, without mincing words, that he has to leave. What you cannot abide, you discard. However, it will be expressly unfair of me if I fail to tell you to your own face too that you are very stingy and disgustingly unaccommodating. Imagine how you criticize every bit of his stay, na wao. And you ladies, I have just confirmed one conception about you. It is widely said that you are intolerant and hardly can you put up with a friend for just a week without making life miserable for her. Although not all of you, but see how you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. NA WA O.

Gennyike:
When it comes to accommodating 5%out if 100 in girls can accommodate a fellow girl without treating her like a beggar or street urchin in her house and 75 % out 100 guys are good at accommodating friend or anyone.

Girls are the worst as they start picking out faults in you and expecting you to go beyond your limit to satisfy them in order to continue housing you, yet the sacrifice still remains insignificant.

Nothing bad in helping out because no one knows tomorrow. This kind of feeling the guy is having or developing is in every human being just that few choose to neglect it in order to do good.

Instead of coming here to say all this which the guy is not even aware of, try to talk to him if you can't accommodate a homeless niga ok? if it is about contribution let him know if he is not or if he is not working let him look for something , if possible help him get one. All na hustling.

First, you thought he was coming with money to flex till yawa gas; you saw him with his bag yet you no ask bros na wetin,why now? still you haven't said anything concerning that to him. Are you guys playing mind game? Trash things out with him and call a spade a spade.

Abeg, your problem is not the guy but you are your problem and also the solution.

Humanity service is the healing we all need in life.

I remember once sleeping in an uncompleted building for 2weeks in Lagos in 2013 during my I.T because the girl i was staying with wants her space with her boyfriend and makes me spend more than my income. She drove me out but today i am here, getting better, ahead of her and by God grace will own a house one day to accommodate enough.

Do good if you can as long it is not something beyond you but if you can't, don't.

Baby girl, you are speaking my language. I LOVE YOU.

chukxie:
The boldened got me rolling on the floor with laughter. It's been a while since I last heard that word.

My grandma uses it a lot

achieverme:
....on one condition.....you go accept my PM.

I'm even guilty of your charge . Cos, that's not a film but my pic on the system

AuroraB:
My grandma uses it a lot

Correct grandma. My greetings to her.

This is hilarious.

blesoh:
Hmmmmm nawaoh, my sister in-law brought in her boyfriend to live with them (the mother) and the mother couldn't voice out because she was afraid of her daughter, after 3 months my husband found out and gave this guy 1month to leave, for were guy no gree leave. My husband drove one early morning to his mother's house and ended the whole thing, told the guy to move out that morning and never want to set his eyes on him again, mehn squatters have no shame in them.

This one is the worst sef.....
How can a guy go live in his girlfriend's family house, and be doing the do with her under her mother's nose?
No shame at all. The girl sef is not serious.

arimahoseloka:
If it was a rich kid now, u will not be here ranting, isn't he your friend? Why can't u bear with him.

It's not abt rich kid... I've always loved my personal space.. I can't imagine leaving in a house wit som1 else, I'll get married and that's a different thing entirely... Even girlfriends Neva stay pass one night for my house except the one wey travel com from far... I use d opportunity well

daveP:
Chuksemi, why didn't you submit this piece for my previewing prowess before publishing, ehn?



Well, you should have instigated a fake fasting and prayer that only ends at 6pm.



You didn't add that these set of people sleep as if they own the bed. you wake to see their legs on your head, their hands on you 3rd leg or you on the floor. Amaka sef serves him the food she cooks when you no get. hehehhe



He and landlord discuss passionate(in Falz voice) passionate politics and he can't but loff yim. One of the best way is to make an elderly that resembles Cuba Okadigbo or Olu Jacobs to come visit you and query his presence..... ah that makes three in a room?


(in Falz voice, Basketmouth's uncertainty expression, Bovi's stupid look and Klint da drunk's 'use style Waka comot' pose) This case is a circular cyclical

Lol. Brother. It have tey. You remember me right?

Lol. These squatters are a very persistent bunch. When I moved out of my parents' house, I got a 2 bedroom apartment in a high profile estate cos I didn't like the idea of being cramped up in a tiny one bed. A friend of mine told me his uncle would be coming in from America, ad he would have to come put up with me, since his uncle would be occupying his room. I said 'no wahala. let me know when the time comes''. Suddenly starts calling me around 10pm one night that he is at my gate with his mattress. I was a little embarrassed, cos I was already sleeping over elsewhere + he was supposed to give me prior notice.

Anyways, we start living together, I had no qualms. 3 days in, I woke up to him off-loading one humongous mattress which he had gone to pick up from his brother's house. I was stunned! He had made it sound like he ws only going to be at mine for a couple of weeks! I stylishly asked when his Uncle was going back to America, Baba replied coldly 'Why do you ask? Any problem?' Ha! By evening he had relocated my wardrobe and other odd items from my second room to my living room, and turned the spare room to his room!

I kept trying to stylishly get him to reassure me that his stay was temporary, he was first cold, then later became over friendly. Made friends with my Landlady's maids, always trying to help with stuff around the house. I kept praying for wisdom to handle the situation. Then one day while visiting his parents' house, I was falling asleep on the couch, and his cousin asked me to go and sleep in their room. I was like 'what room?' He was like 'you no sabi our room again?' All this while I thought the visiting Uncle had taken over their room! At that point it clicked that wait, his cousin is still staying in this house ooo + they have a bq that my friend has a studio!!!

Na so I tell my padi that I wanted to set up a home office in my 2nd room and was worried cos the table I was buying was humonguous, and so might disturb him. Shebi you said you are moving out this weekend, he said no wahala. I sharply contacted my carpenter to construct a sturdy 5 feet long office desk for me, and started counting down to friday. On thursday evening, I again casually mentioned that my carpenter was bringing my table the next day. Baba stutters 'I didnt know you were serious'. there and then, I gave him 48 hours to leave my house. The following morning on my way to work, I locked my room, bathroom, kitchen and living room in anticipation that this would be a clear enough message to him. By noon, the estates'security called me to inform me he had moved out of my house.

Did I forget to mention that his folks live a walking distance away just outside the estate?

AuroraB:
My grandma uses it a lot

How come we have the same grandma and I don't know you? Wonders never end. Ma'abasi.

eyinjuege:
This one is the worst sef.....
How can a guy go live in his girlfriend's family house, and be doing the do with her under her mother's nose?
No shame at all. The girl sef is not serious.

My dear the thing tire me sef, at 35 the girl has no shame, she even got angry with my husband for throwing her boyfriend out, and the boy is a chronic liar even the girl testified, she doesn't even know were he's from, keeps repeating his lies, anyway I learnt he still came back for some days he had no way to stay, a son of a "major" oh according to him lol, my husband warned the mother that his next actions they won't believe it, the mum now said she has send him away. But we no believe sha lol.