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My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by pragmatistm(m): 6:06am On Sep 13, 2016
NobleG1:
I blame both of you for this mess.

Firstly, you didn't handle the situation appropriately at all. It is not a bad thing for your wife to ask you to accompany her to shop! She wanted you around her, which is what any woman who loves her partner does. Even if you don't want to go, you could tell her politely and promise go with her next time.

If your wife wants to use your stuff, you shouldn't say no (unless you're using it). In the case of a router, many people can use one at the same time. She's your wife and will always use your stuff till you leave this earth. what's yours is also hers and the same applies to hers.

When she asked for the router, you could have easily told her that you forgot it at the office and that you will bring it home next day. Ignoring her "to avoid problem" was a st*upid and childish thing to do. Good communication in marriage is very important and it prevents/resolves a lot of problems! You can't resolve MOST problems by simply keeping quiet or ignoring the issue or your pertner. You escalated the situation by not responding to her! By the way, why would you go to your office with the router? Your workplace has no internet?

You shouldn't have collected the remote from by force! It probably bruised her hands when you squeezed it from her grip. You supposed to know how to calm your wife down. You're the man in your hone and should behaved like one, not like an immature guy who was given a wife to marry and has no clue what to do.

You wife should come first before your st*upid game. She felt the game was more important to you than giving her the attention she needed at that moment. It's a humiliated thing to do to your wife!

Secondly, I understand your wife's frustration and anger but she went too far by spitting on you. That's not the best way to react to an annoying husband. That's the only thing I feel she did wrong.

She did the right thing by seizing the remote to get your attention but you blew it. A smart husband would apologize and pet her until she releases the remote.

A happy wife, a happy life. When a husband seeks to please his wife, he can single handedly change the atmosphere in his marriage. There are great benefits for both a husband and wife to seek each other's happiness in their relationship.


Another good one.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by tunechi711(m): 6:06am On Sep 13, 2016
thekingisback:
A slap or two is definitely the solution. If you're not willing to do that, then I'll suggest you give her the silent treatment.
you advice him to lay his hands on his womanwah kinda person are you??
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by IamMetallic: 6:09am On Sep 13, 2016
@KennethFreeman, Some people will say "forgive and move on", some will also say "give her a dirty slap" to reset her brain ba? But you seem to forget they aint in Nigeria where you could do that and go scot free. If he tries that in Saudi, the tables could turn and he could find himself with the authorities where he could get deported or even jailed. For you to have this lengthy write-up shows your frustration and experience all through the one year this has been going on. I'll suggest you follow your instincts, pray to God for directions cuz if you send her to Nigeria for separation, when she eventually returns, please be prepared to move to Nigeria at anytime cuz she will definitely work that for you in retaliation and you could be on the losing end. Alternatively, maybe you both should relocate to Nigeria, at least she knows our laws here and there'll be a little difference unlike now that she trying everything to provoke you to getting jailed and lose all you've worked for!
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by akaballball: 6:10am On Sep 13, 2016
Dia is no smoke without fire...y didnt u follow her shopping?y did u ignore her when she was asking for d router.....is obvious u dont give her time ..cos u think she has problem n only ask for trouble..u use work as excuse...man she only wants some attention....hiding d remote thou..u play games on ur day off haba...u should be playing with her ...instead of grabbing her n collecting what she was holding...u should have grabed her butt kiss her so tight ..n tell her i know u r mad i didnt follow u shopping..am sorry am tired bra bra...

Now she spat on ur face ....cos u r dragging for what again...ahhhh..she get ming oooo..i cant do it to my husband..ooo choi...but u try u no beat her...chop knuckle ..never lay ur hands on her.... now do what

spend more time with her..
if she is a house wife...she is feeling u not giving her time...

Dont send her back....please....keep ur marriage ..God will bless u...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 6:11am On Sep 13, 2016
Gwangwadangwa77:




Abeg abeg no too much preaching . am not saying the husband should divorce her but that woman need some hard lesson. Can't you just see that this woman in question has gone extreme

No doubt she has gone extreme! I also believe you read my comment diligently with reference to the higheligted:

3. Do not send her packing at all. Bring her closer and [size=15pt]forgive her with a very stern warning that she won't be so lucky next time such occurs[/size]. Build a bond with her.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by humilitypays(m): 6:13am On Sep 13, 2016
ifyalways:
The day i will spit on my husband, i sincerely would expect divorce soon after.

Spit on your husband? For what reason? That is the height of disrespect and what is marriage without mutual respect?

I noticed OP and his wife are verbally abusive to each other? Im not sure both of you arr ready for marriage sef. Counselling and maybe seperation to think things through might be the solution.
Don't mind people telling the op to go and beg her. That lady doesn't love or respect him.

Spat abi spit on your husband To 99% of Nigerian men, that will bring an end to the marriage, and no parent will even allow their son to continue with such marriage.

No matter how angry the wife was, she was totally wrong and even refused to show total remorse after many hours passed She's a mean lady, jeez!!
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by bellassimo: 6:16am On Sep 13, 2016
Gosh! Very bad.sometimes love is not enough please.please pretend,a woman like this can pour hot water on you.pretend for now and find a way to make her go back to Nigeria and divorce her.oterwise it will be acid the next time .All this wahala in one year.for get her beauty or how long you have been together or how much you spent on the marriage.let her go before it's too late.damn.yiu married a child.marriage is for adults

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 6:18am On Sep 13, 2016
StarPlayer:
Why the obsession over his mom? Is that how you were brought up by yo parents? With all your b1tchy rants, he hasn't mentioned any of yo family members. This goes to show you're really a pvssy ass bitchh nigga. Get a life bra
Real poo. Been reading up on their beef but i don't troll by default. Just chose to concur so he knows your opinion was seconded. The dude prolly sees himself as some intelligent internet gangster but in reality, is coming across as a b¡tch ass wacko with the barest minimum of home training

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 6:21am On Sep 13, 2016
bellassimo:
Gosh! Very bad.sometimes love is not enough please.please pretend,a woman like this can pour hot water on you.pretend for now and find a way to make her go back to Nigeria and divorce her.oterwise it will be acid the next time .All this wahala in one year.for get her beauty or how long you have been together or how much you spent on the marriage.let her go before it's too late.damn.yiu married a child .marriage is for adults

You said it all. As far as she is concerned, she is still his high school sweetheart and they are still boyfriend and girlfriend.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by placeofallure(f): 6:23am On Sep 13, 2016
theorist:
Many people missed the details of what happened and gave judgement based on the topic and the concluding part of your story.

nameerfhtennek I don't want to imagine the type of a lady your wife is or how you play and have fun, but I think you missed some details in her actions because you were angry (used to her habits), and the game was more important. What if she wanted your attention?

Let me draw your attention to this part



Bro, I'm not a feminist, I am also a gamer. I think you missed your opportunity to WOW her, apologize, explain, make her feel more important than your game. You missed an opportunity to turn her anger into love and respect and have a nice time yesterday night.

What if she has been trying to change and she is too proud shy to say sorry, or don't know how to start? That "fight" turned into a play/love session would have gone a long way in helping your darling wife. Just remember when you started, how you laid down your ego to please your "girlfriend".

From your story, you might be the reason your wife hasn't changed.

Just listen to Nairalanders and let them fuel your ego, and gradually break your lovely home.

Peace!!!

God bless you! I looked at all the comments on the first page of this post and I was appalled at how everyone seemed to be missing it. Many men are immature, too unschooled to deal with marital issues. At the point she was asking for the router, why did the man refuse to answer? Nobody likes to be given the deaf treatment, I'm sure that was when she became infuriated. Then look at the places she hid the remote, a soft nibbling behind her ears or her blossom will do the magic and you can avoid this needless fight.

OP she shouldn't have spat on you and say those hurtful words, now the both of you can't take the words back. Don't send her anywhere, she's your wife and never be a wife beater, some men are serving jail time for unintentionally killing their wives. Ignore all of them saying two slaps will reset her brain, these days, one slap can send one to the great beyond. Allow things to cool down, when the anger subsides on both sides, you can sit down and talk about it. God will uphold your home.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by akaballball: 6:23am On Sep 13, 2016
miky:
Bro just end that marriage!! If she is expecting a reaction from you and doing things to deliberately trigger you, one day you might kill that woman.

Trust me she no longer respects you, go look for another Wife!!!
see advice ..u go end marriage tire...
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Zedoo(m): 6:23am On Sep 13, 2016
Swissheart:
Awww.... ....so sorry
I really have to commend the fact that you have taken full charge of your temper,without holding back words you are a responsible and loving man. There is a limit,you have shown to be aware of this. Your wife has character issues. As it appears,she won't change easily. A year into marriage is too early to have numerous records of quarrels. My only fear is her been always prepared for a fight. Who is always set for a fight with hubby if not a foolish woman? Your happiness is paramount, if she offers anything less than comfort and peace, how she should return becomes the solution. However before doing this, find a good forum to express your mind,your worries,fear and the option of getting her back. Remember consolidation comes before confrontation. Don't stop loving your wife. Forgive her hurting words and don't stop praying for peace. God bless you

Women and stories....

Madam dat lady doesn't deserve to be married.

2. Op obviously married her for the wrong reasons..maybe forced her into marriage or one of those betrothed cases...

Baseline she needs to get her ass sent back to Nigeria. Make she know as e dey go
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by austinoeze(m): 6:24am On Sep 13, 2016
Send her back but don't divorce her. Let her people talk sense into her head. Believe me she'll come back better. Every story has two sides tho
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by ukahpaul4242(m): 6:24am On Sep 13, 2016
Please give her one more chance only because you deeply love her..
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Zedoo(m): 6:25am On Sep 13, 2016
placeofallure:


God bless you! I looked at all the comments on the first page of this post and I was appalled at how everyone seemed to be missing it. Many men are immature, too unschooled to deal with marital issues. At the point she was asking for the router, why did the man refuse to answer? Nobody likes to be given the deaf treatment, I'm sure that was when she became infuriated. Then look at the places she hid the remote, a soft nibbling behind her ears or her blossom will do the magic and you can avoid this needless fight.

OP she shouldn't have spat on you and say those hurtful words, now the both of you can't take the words back. Don't send her anywhere, she's your wife and never be a wife beater, some men are serving jail time for unintentionally killing their wives. Ignore all of them saying two slaps will reset her brain, these days, one slap can send one to the great beyond. Allow things to cool down, when the anger subsides on both sides, you can sit down and talk about it. God will uphold your home.

Madam that woman CANNOT be good overnight. She needs to leave the home period. She needs to be sent back to Nigeria. For the tym being...before next level crap happens....she doesn't deserve anything nice for now......
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by josite: 6:25am On Sep 13, 2016
if u dont divorce her now,twenty years down the line,all the regret will be yours.write it down.no matter what your wife will not spit in ur face.it is a spiritual rejection she just gave u.as you righlty prophesied this marriage will be your legacy and your curse/;if she hasnt got a child for u,this is the best time to divorce her and retain your peace.like she did,you will surely get a girl half your age to marry.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by mykel25(m): 6:26am On Sep 13, 2016
nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!


bro I love ur spirit that's exactly my kind of person buh please don't loose it soon.....what I noticed in women is that when they are really angry n u seems not to be angry too they always wanna do what ll really upset u simply because they can't beat u to express their anger.....ure really a gentle man n I won't ask u to quit...diz ish is a little one to quit I ll only beg you to add that UNPALATABLE SORRY to your gentility and c how it works....it not easy to do buh try it she ll respect u n show u more love n it ll really change her.....when she has calm down talk to her about it as if ure correcting a BABY....i mean in a very friendly manner....i bet diz ll work for a devil if it doesn't then quit
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by skedy1(m): 6:26am On Sep 13, 2016
Your addiction to the game is killing her gently....

Anyway, am not married, I wouldn't know how that feels. But try a little with her one more time, if she's still adamant, take the bull by the horn!

But I pray u didn't marry the wrong person though. There was a threat here about a guy thanking God he didn't marry his university girl friend because how she would have probably messed up their home.

Just pray sha...

1 Like

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Zedoo(m): 6:27am On Sep 13, 2016
WHY DID YOU MARRY HER IN THE FIRST PLACE..
be very honest about that...because she fine abi??
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Airhix(m): 6:27am On Sep 13, 2016
hello bro. dats y u re a man. ders no need sending her home, it makes no sense, let her kn since she is gone senseles and fearless to do that. she shud wait for ur reply wit both families wont be okay wit, truth be told. sometin led to dat. and i hope u didnt hit her, for d sake of ur children .forget abt d act. luv her more instead. shit happens at times, its normal.so let go,see if she's appologetic? forgive her pls
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by djbutterfly(f): 6:28am On Sep 13, 2016
aribisala0:
Can't this God just do his job without all the praying drama? does he not know what to do?
Must he wait till people bring their problems to Nairaland before doing the right thing?

Why are you angry with God? What is that grudge you hold against him? Watch your mouth lest you fall into the worst depression you can't come out of. Ask judas!
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Smoothshow(m): 6:29am On Sep 13, 2016
Guy you need to sit back and reflect on the genesis of your problem with that woman, a man gets home and all he does is play FIFA all day and your marriage is just a year old! I see a man whose attention has shifted from his wife, you've neglected your first duties bro, she needs you and when you can't read the hand writing on the wall she had to call your attention to it what woman needs is some of your time bro that's why the remote and console went into the PANTS! Call your wife have a good heart to heart talk with her, she will apologize and going forward keep the game away for now spend time with your woman gist with her, sleep with her and have a good romantic time daily with her your problems will disappear! You won't get a trophy for being mr right bro, so put your pride aside and make your marriage work.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by akaballball: 6:30am On Sep 13, 2016
NobleG1:
I blame both of you for this mess.

Firstly, you didn't handle the situation appropriately at all. It is not a bad thing for your wife to ask you to accompany her to shop! She wanted you around her, which is what any woman who loves her partner does. Even if you don't want to go, you could tell her politely and promise go with her next time.

If your wife wants to use your stuff, you shouldn't say no (unless you're using it). In the case of a router, many people can use one at the same time. She's your wife and will always use your stuff till you leave this earth. what's yours is also hers and the same applies to hers.

When she asked for the router, you could have easily told her that you forgot it at the office and that you will bring it home next day. Ignoring her "to avoid problem" was a st*upid and childish thing to do. Good communication in marriage is very important and it prevents/resolves a lot of problems! You can't resolve MOST problems by simply keeping quiet or ignoring the issue or your pertner. You escalated the situation by not responding to her! By the way, why would you go to your office with the router? Your workplace has no internet?

You shouldn't have collected the remote from by force! It probably bruised her hands when you squeezed it from her grip. You supposed to know how to calm your wife down. You're the man in your hone and should behaved like one, not like an immature guy who was given a wife to marry and has no clue what to do.

You wife should come first before your st*upid game. She felt the game was more important to you than giving her the attention she needed at that moment. It's a humiliating thing to do to your wife!

Secondly, I understand your wife's frustration and anger but she went too far by spitting on you. That's not the best way to react to an annoying husband. And that's the only thing I feel she did wrong.

She did the right thing by seizing the remote to get your attention but you blew it. A smart husband would apologize and pet her until she releases the remote.

A happy wife, a happy life. When a husband seeks to please his wife, he can single handedly change the atmosphere in his marriage. There are great benefits for both a husband and wife to seek each other's happiness in their relationship.


God bless u ..i stand with u on this...if u r a guy ..ur wife is lucky ..very mature..
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Zedoo(m): 6:31am On Sep 13, 2016
akaballball:
Dia is no smoke without fire...y didnt u follow her shopping?y did u ignore her when she was asking for d router.....is obvious u dont give her time ..cos u think she has problem n only ask for trouble..u use work as excuse...man she only wants some attention....hiding d remote thou..u play games on ur day off haba...u should be playing with her ...instead of grabbing her n collecting what she was holding...u should have grabed her butt kiss her so tight ..n tell her i know u r mad i didnt follow u shopping..am sorry am tired bra bra...

Now she spat on ur face ....cos u r dragging for what again...ahhhh..she get ming oooo..i cant do it to my husband..ooo choi...but u try u no beat her...chop knuckle ..never lay ur hands on her.... now do what

spend more time with her..
if she is a house wife...she is feeling u not giving her time...

Dont send her back....please....keep ur marriage ..God will bless u...

U think sex solves all problems abi?

See that woman deserves to be sent back to Nigeria...make she know as recession dey go.
All dese women pleading, na until she pour am hot water Una go see truth??
The woman should be sent away first to gain a brain then they can negotiate....which one is grab bum again....after spitting on your face!!! Even a motorpark tout would think twice before doing that to anybody....thats insult of the highest order.....spitting on a fellow human is the most degrading non physically harmful thing ever!...
Damn...

You women should stop pleading and let this man do what is right for the time being oga.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Epiczi(m): 6:31am On Sep 13, 2016
Ur decision is d best.send her back to Nigeria. Spat on u?.if u don't take a drastic measure then u are doomed for life.my wife did d same some years back. I treated her fuckup wells.some woman are good but some are devil himself.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Freksy(m): 6:33am On Sep 13, 2016
nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.

You had no time for her shopping because you were not in the mode. You had been at work, no time for her. You rushed to get home not to make out time for her, but for YOUR FIFA 16.

MARRIAGE REQUIRES SACRIFICE. Besides, did you explain things to her and perhaps try to reschedule the shopping?


Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood
That it was yours mattered not. In fact, it's equally hers. Your LACK OF RESPONSE was unloving and very disrespectful! You saw what was coming but did nothing to prevent it because again; "you were not in the mode."


The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating.

We all have personality flaws. I am sure if given opportunity, your wife will also tell us about your strange behaviour(s).


Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

By virtue of marital bond, this lady, no matter how older you are than her, is your MATE, not your younger sister or "school junior. I have not seen her been treated deservedly.


After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did.
Who wouldn't doubt you? Your response was not forthcoming when needed.


She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started.

The trouble actually started when you failed to realize that marriage requires a lot of commitment and sacrifice for each other.

You failed to see that your wife needs you more than you need her, your work and internet games.

Think about how different things would had been if you had apologised to her for not accompanying her to shopping and reassured her of your love for her. You considered not her feelings and emotions in that regards. Would you be happy if treated that way? Oooh, you are a man and she is a woman.


She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!!

She may be right about you been violent. It was a bit unthinkable that you squeezed your wife's hand for the remote. Can you show me the wisdom in ignoring her when she asked you for the router but chose not to ignore her seizure of the remote?

Nevertheless, I STRONGLY CONDEMN those utterances from her. Nothing justified that.

She spat at you! Very disrespectful and unruly!


God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

The problem you guys have is very menial, judging from your compliant. IT DOESN'T IN ANY WAY WARRANT SEPARATION OR BATTERING OF MATE.

You guys seem to live in two separate worlds. You need to do more things together. Though you have not mentioned, but possibly your wife has been complaining you don't have time for her.

It is very wrong to return from work and get hooked onto games that do not involve her. She will surely feel dejected, unloved and uncared for. It amount to having a second wife. If that is the case, peace will be scanty. It's one thing to say "I love my wife very much," and it's another to demonstrate it.

Again,. Minimise use of pronouns like 'mine/my' & 'hers'. Both of you own 'everything', yes, OUR this & that. With this mindset, everything will be replaced or renewed promptly, provided there is resources.

Note: silent does not always make for peace; it sometimes fuels crisis.

Problems must be solved not silenced over or winked at. Sometimes too we leave them to gather momentum in the name of working out of.

That one is quiet does not necessarily mean he's peaceable.

MATES NEED QUALITY AND AMPLE TIME AND GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH EACH OTHER.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by agarawu23(m): 6:34am On Sep 13, 2016
VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.
in addition, the love isn't there anymore since the lady went to marry another guy when the guy left Nigeria.

She came back to the guy cos of the hope of flying abroad with him cos no lady will reject that. The love is dead when she didn't trusted the guy and left for another dude.

He should send her back to Nigeria ASAP. Same reason why most of my Palz abroad are always scared to bring their wife abroad.
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by brospee: 6:37am On Sep 13, 2016
Well, my bet is this:your wife is probably in love with your successor boyfriend of hers. She probably needs a divorce or separation to achieve this, and stigmatising u to provocation will help her achieve this. Take heart
Re: My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 6:37am On Sep 13, 2016
Gwangwadangwa77:



you think we are in a dream land . wake up my friend angry

This is not a matter of been in dream land oga, this technique sure for me die, and mind you,: I'm married too, to a white girl. Their werrey pass we naija own, so I know what I'm saying bruh wink

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