₦airaland Forum

Lordabas:
Mine,I was with a girl and we were about to have sex and when we started right away she started making noises and I assumed it was her orgasm. Soon enough she started yelling "Stop! Stop! I can't take it!" I pulled out and here she is crying. She started mumbling while she was crying she was saying " I'm sorry. Sorry. It hurt too much. I was trying not to cry but that was not pleasure that was pain. I couldn't take it anymore" we both were still naked at that point so she pointed at my penis and said "how big is that thing?" I was like I didn't think it's that big I know it's 7 inches soft. Then she said"holy **** let me measure it, it must be like a foot long erect. I let her and we came up with 9 inches hard 4.5 in girth. She said that I had a huge dick which I didnt think was true . But that moment was terrible! I felt bad and I was so embarrassed. Now when we have sex I fear hurting her. And I used to think I had fine size penis but now I always wish it was a few inches shorter.

sammieguze:
FGC ilorin, sometimes in march 2006.

All through my time in that school, i was always the easy going type until i got to my ss 3. We were preparing for mock exams and we were having an oral English class as well as summary writing and of course... U know how oral English is.

Prior to that time, i have never spoken publicly in class before except to answer short questions but having a new teacher who is good and the fun we were having in class.... I guess that got into my head.

I started standing up to answer all the questions i could answer and being very timid and having gone to a primary school where i was tot by Europeans, i have this funny not so British assent coupled with my low shaky voice.... Am sure u know how those elderly European women speak. Better imagined.

Anyway, i answered as many questions as i could unknown to me that everybody found my assent funny and infact stopped answering questions just to continue hearing me speak.... That's enough to kill me in FGCI.

Then, to think of the fact that omotosho jumoke.... One girl i don de eye like ki lo sele sat beside me in class that day.... Everybody thought i was all out to impress her ni. Shooooo.....

Na after classes i sabi say i don enter trouble.

Since then, dem no born me well tok for class again o

I swear.... Till i commot frm that school, girls no allow me rest. Always an opportunity to make me talk and i always make sure i have a way of escape handy. Infact, that's what made me change my mind about the girl sef.

FGC ilorin 2006 sets ll relate with this.

Jadoskii:
taught by Europeans and can't spell accent correctly....#official Secretary of GCA(grammar checkers association).

echobee:
*Spreads mat* sits down,grab pop corn and sobo. Waiting for d next story

Jadoskii:
taught by Europeans and can't spell accent correctly....#official Secretary of GCA(grammar checkers association).

Hmmmm
When I was young I had this girlfriend that loves balloon a lot, she has a lot of them with different colours and made sure she doesn't give out her balloons even to her best friends.
She was so stingy.
So one day I was passing bye our neigbours house and noticed a balloon on the floor, I picked it, blew it and the thing kept expanding... It was soo big that I was elated that I found a bigger balloon and would make shakara for my gf the following day in school.
During break hours, I just ran out blew air into my balloon, tied it to a rope and started running round my class so that all my friends can see it and yeah my friends were surprised cos mine was bigger until my class teacher called me and seized my balloon.
Well before then I noticed the boys in senior class were laughing at me from their classes but I thought they were admiring me.
Never knew my balloon was a condom then.
Each time I remember my stupidity, I can't help but laugh.

My fellow Nlanders abeg make we catch some fun,



Had sex for the first time when I was 18, I had just graduated from high school, like we all know you don't know about something until you do it for the first time which is the initiation, but my first encounter 'no be lie the thing sweet die', so myself and this girl in question continued doing it at my place cos Popsy and Momsy weren't always around, Dad would go out very early in the morning and come back late at night, but my Mum had a shop around the neighbourhood then which was quiet a distance from where we resided, so I had the whole fuccccking house to myself.


To the Main Gist,

This babe that actually took my virginity who was two years older than me kept coming to the house knowing I was alone while I kept eating the forbidden fruit that sent Adam and Eve out of the garden, with time my mum was hearing news about me and a so-called girl I was always seeing off I guess it must ve been from gossips from people around and had taken her time to find out about the girl without us knowing, cos funny enough she lived in desame street my mum's shop was located.

Mumsy called me one night and was like,

"That thing you ve been doing that you think I don't know better stop it, I don't want that girl come looking for you in this house again, bringing a girl into your father's house, no respect for us at all"

I was shocked when told me but knowing I was guilty of the offence I couldn't say anything, I just kept mute till she was done with her advice,

But no be my fault nau, no be something wey dey sweeeeeet?, if I talk say I hear, all she said entered my right ear and came out of the other one, but I was too blind to see she had perfected all her moves of catching me red handed,

So this faithful day base on guy wey don taste the forbidden fruit and ve started suffering from Konjijaitis, as my mum left for her Shop that morning, I quickly alerted her with my Motorolla C200(1st ever phone, my papa dash me) through a neighbours line I was usually reaching her with, informing her that the coast was clear, as she came, we got to the main thing, that one thing, that same thing, we had gotten eachother completely naked and was still in the hot romance in the sitting room hoping to find our way to my room where the one ll then enter inside the zero, the next thing was a hard knock on the gate, followed by a voice that yelled,

"Ibrahim open this gate"

It was my mum's voice, yelling at the gateman who's tent was close to the gate, immediately I knew there was fire on the mountain, I packed all her clothes that was littered on the floor, rushed and hid her in my wardrobe, then quickly wore my pyjamas trouser no boxers, cos I had to co-ordinate before she got to the main building, instead of knocking for me to open, she banged the main door instead very hard, so I opened and greeted, but for where?, Mumsy locked up and didn't answer, I tried my best to be calm, sat down forming to be watching a movie on tv, but she walked pass me without asking me a dammn thing and the first place I saw her enter was the Kitchen, after a while she came out with her face so strong and determined and eyes hopping from corner to corner, where I sat I was like,

"She no go fit see am jor", cos she had mistakenly come to the house one day to pick something when I was with this babe, she ended up spending close to 20mins with this babe hidden in this same wardrobe but never knew that on this day just like Brazil Mumsy was set to make history, she searched everywhere while I tried to be calm like nothing, but just as God wanted to bless me in a bad way on this day, after a lomg while I was hearing sound like little voices inside cos my room was kinda far from the sitting room, but when the voice kept increasing that was when I knew my mum had caught her, finally I could hear both of them very clearly,

"Mummy abeg, nah em tell me make I come oo, I no wan come here before" the babe was pleading,

And before I knew it my mum had dragged her out to the seating room where I was already sweating under a chilled environment,

I stood up confused, just looking at them, Mum held her tight with one hand firmly on her shirt around her chest, dashed her one slap in front of me and then looked at me and was like,

"(called my native name), what is this girl doing here?"

But my tongue come be like say he loss, I tried to talk but e come be like say I dumb, and the next thing was a hot slap on my face, I swear though it was hot but I felt nothing cos I knew I had fuccked up, I just went to my kneels and begged her to leave the girl alone and deal with me, she looked at her and looked at me, her head swinging from side to side at intervals then she sighed and freed her hands from the girls chest, I brought out her bag and sandals from where I hid them behind one of the chairs that leaned against the wall, then she took them and zoomed off, when she had gone, Mum looked at me, sighed and said,

"Your Dad ll hear about this" and then took her leave,

Knowing how strict my Dad was then, even the new James Bond Daniel Craig dey learn, I fear the man die, I just quickly sent her a nice text pleading cos I was certain she wouldn't pick my calls, its almost 10years now and my Dad didn't hear about it till date. Mumsy thank you ooo, you do well, cos I for no fit imagine the brushing wey I for chop then.



Let's catch some fun biko, share your embarrassing, crazy, funny, naughty experiences, make we entertain ourselves.

Una Goodevening

I still got more, make una dey share first.