GAZZUZZ:


brace up, they are coming for you

Abiagirl777:
aww,so sorry marital counsellors whatc ha gone say?

sisisioge:




Hope na ondo state that one be...not eti ose in lasgidi.

taiiremide:


Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong. I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

Amelian:




It's possible... Anything is possible

kaboninc:


Ah jus know say na there him dey.

You rum come eti osa dey find gold now you wan come go back. Hope say you never cawi una pikin go amelica...

sisisioge:




Oga, I'm not the OP's wife! In fact, I never get children! If I were his wife, our issue no go escalate reach this point. By the way, in my opinion, once it gets to this point where the fight becomes free for all, na only God fit redeem am. OP should just go to her folks jeje to see whether them still fit salvage the situation...abi work something out for the kids.

eyinjuege:
Go through the court process to get your kids, or at least have a shared custody arrangement

The courts will decide how to do that. Either they live with you while she pays you child support (good luck with that as she's jobless), and they go spend the holidays with their mother, or they live with their mother and you pay child support (for their living expenses, and always pay their school fees personally yourself and keep your receipts) while they spend the holidays with you.

And always call to speak to your children at least every other day.

dapsycool:


First of all, be wary of a woman's advise here or anywhere. Don't ask me why and...
Guy it is not your responsibility to pay all bills, house rent, diapers, food, clothes, hospital bills, etc [/size] You weren't born to take care of anybody. You support each other to raise a family. Don't be an African foo.l
This is why African women behave like gorillas. Foolish African culture. Why did she go to school? why is she called human? (She is nothing more than a se.x doll if depends on you 100%)

[size=10pt]Live your life, you weren't created to take care of women. Stop this mad and retarded culture.

eckersley:
@taiiremide.
Hy bro.
Nowadays, I don't log on to NL let alone comment on topics like this cos one cannot ascertain their authenticity.
I blv majority of them are fabricated to drive traffic to the site.

Assuming your story is not one of those [no offense meant], here's my take:

1. Beware of advice from kids who know everything abt the internet and little/nothing abt LIFE.

2. The solution to your predicament is not in a paragraph of 'advice'.
It's a TOTAL CHANGE IN LIFE STYLE.
it's a process that will take at least a month to see tangible results. And many more months to gain total control of your life, wife [if you still want her back] & family (even hers).

3. The path I'm advocating will equip/empower you with tonnes of valuable information so requires a good deal of reading from you. You'll hv to invest a minimum of 1-2 hours daily in reading for the first month.
U can put in more time during weekends.

4. I've mailed you. Accept & mail back and we'll exchange WhatsApp numbers or preferably ( for more anonymity blackberry pins.
Then I'll mail you the links you need and you can start reading at once and begin your journey to recovery immediately

taiiremide:


Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong. I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

kaboninc:


Well you never said you're married. Meaning it's possible sha.

You never can tell if the issue no go escalate until you enter am. Or unless you don enter am.

Well, for me the point is a man has to be careful for what he wants. I'm very attracted to beautiful ladies but I'll only stay if there's a value attached to that beauty.

sisisioge:


True...beauty is skin deep! Any man or woman worth his or her salt wouldn't settle down with someone just because s/he is an eye candy. Trust me, before long, that beau you are attracted to with look regular to you. Not because they have stopped being beautiful but because you are so used to them. The one thing that won't ever stop dazzling is the awesome being you could take to the bank. Imagine being arrested and the first thing that comes to mind is...I need to see my partner, not my lawyer imagine declaring bankruptcy and still feeling rich just because you have her Oga, you no go understand... I wish the OP good luck.

kaboninc:


Hahahaha

Why I no go understand? Lol.

That's true. All you've said. I hope I make the right decision too. I hope you've also made the right decision too!

sisisioge:


I'm on it...seriously searching now. As we speak, I'm enroute ilaje...wanna go find him since he couldn't seem to find me all by himself

kaboninc:


Hahahaha...

You are something else.

I heard he's enroute Eti Osa....you have to change course ohh

sisisioge:




I know u be bad navigator! No be you give me route advice before? Now get off my mention and have a good day!

taiiremide:


I always think that before I married her, she eat well and her family provides for her, so why should I bring her to my house to suffer, so I always want to please her. I called her yesterday and I treatenend that I've reported the case at the police station for abduction and kidnapping, she was raining heavy curses. You see why I said she's not ready for dialog? We never had a fight before she left for Lagos, I was surprised with all the drama.

GAZZUZZ:


OP's wife was disappointed all round including the bedroom. He commanded no respect there either.

A poor man with excellent bedroom skills will keep a wife happy thinking of the next encounter

Exactly. Suffering from poverty, two demanding children, being beaten and being dissatisfied in the bedroom. It's a miracle she survived as long as she did. A good marital bed would have helped her endure the hardships a bit more. Hopefully the op will fulfill his duties as a husband on all fronts and retrieve his family.

Miladi:
At OP, no sane person loves being undermined. Having gone through your submissions, I deduced that you put your mother's opinion above your wife's own. . . . a statement like "my mother can never be wrong" and allowing your mother to take her grandson along while on visit, without prior notice, and without you having a private deliberation to seek/plead for her (your wife) understanding was wrong and can break even an angel. Respect is reciprocal; and to every action there's an opposite and equal reaction.

She's more on a revenge mission, especially since you're not living up to your former standard and aspirations financial-wise.

On how part though, she came across as a covetous, selfish and inconsiderate person. Kindly apply diplomacy to resolve the issue. Both of you can still mend fences and become a united force once again; this can only be possible if you both are ready to do away with mind games and you becoming altruistic towards her, while she master's the virtue of submission towards you.

VULCAN:
Any Dr. That gives prescription without correct diagnosis may kill the patient. You ignored his revelation that he discovered a text on his wife's phone saying "call me back, I love you".

You dont need to be Sherlock Holmes to know that she has found a richer man. The man has also promised to take care of the kids and that is why she has the guts to abscond with them.

Kpac:
I would give my response JUST by hearing you side of the story.....

Situation Currently
First, i am sure your wife is not a Yoruba lady. As a culture, our ladies are not trained and taught to leave their husband's house unofficially or abscond with kids from the marriage. Whatever you were thinking, that was the first mistake.

Secondly, your wife must be a beauty queen and one which you have fought so "HARD" to win and even marry. You have lived all your decisions for her, to please her and to keep her. You have made hefty promises while you were convincing her to marry you and its unfortunate you can really keep them. You spend almost all your resource and energy to make her happy and for the past few years things have been hard, all your goal was to make it up and prove a point. Unfortunately, that goal sent you even deeper into more troubles than your plans could reveal.

I am sure you took the "lucrative" printing job just because of her, she might not be the reasons you gave everyone and yourself, but in your hearts of heart, you know you took that risk to make it big, make her happy, prove a point, keep her quiet and give you confidence as a man. That decision got you deeper into troubles.

You bought the car to get contracts and get effective in your business is another reason you gave everyone and yourself, you knew how you fantasized the happiness and hug from your wife when the car first gets into your compound and she sees it. You bought that car to gain confidence you have lost and the indirect and direct embarrassment she was giving you from comparisons.

Against what is good for you again, you moved to oshogbo to please her yet again. You wrongly thought oshogbo would "tame" her and give you some peace. Another major decisions taken to please your wife again and because you have lost the power to make the right decisions to solely please your wife, all those decisions never lasted as intended.

I wouldn't know what more you did and that you know just for your wife and to keep her.

I respect your wife because i respect you but some women are best left for the consumption social media, for photo shoots and cover pages of magazines. Choosing a wife is entirely a different course and i cant teach you more than you have learnt.

Your kids would still be your kids if you have married any woman, They are your gene, your chemistry and contains your DNA. Choosing who gives birth to them is what they require you take in their best decisions.

Your wife would always keep you on your foot even if you earn 10 million naira every month excluding tax. If you had thought there are levels an insatiable woman gets contented and quiet, you were wrong. They would continue to grow in their in-contentment and their taste and expectations would get to an advanced level as your worth increases.

Way Forward
Please visit your in-laws, seek audience and if possible request for a meeting. Get to know what your wife's expectations are and what time she would give you to achieve them, seek to know what your in-laws expectations are also of you and the time to achieve them. Seek to know the consequences of you failing to achieve them all. Seek to find out if your wife really sees the marriage as compulsory or optional. Seek to know if there are options of separations on the table from your in-laws.

This would let you know the "EXACT" situation you have gotten yourself into and give you the broad view to analyze if you can achieve them or not.

If you cant achieve them, make the best decisions for your kids and please get your life back and stop living to please anybody. Its a journey that never ends.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot satisfy an insatiable wife and its all your faults here because you went into the marriage for selfish reasons and now you have to face it.

Its hard but sincerely, this truth would send you back into the path you should really be.

millyj:
Bros I have someone very close who is going the same issue as you the only difference is they where not married,but where together for some many years and kids where involved too,...the man tried everything he could to get his kids he couldn't ,infact the woman he did n,t even know where she was for months.believe me your kids are not suffering,leave their your wife to her conscience, she will soon understand that it's not easy training kids alone.i understand you are missing them badly and you think you can,t live without them(you can)pickup yourself and when it's time tour kids will come back to your..best of luck

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

mastermaestro:


Sounds like someone whose mind is sealed. I don't dispute your grouse, I only wish you would at least explore reconciliation before letting go for good. She appears selfish, but you married her in spite of. There are ways of managing her dark sides which you probably failed to evolve while you both lived together. What sobers her, what trembles her, what does she dread, what softens her, what influences her?

lalopeto:



women could be very difficult ooooo