Jarizod's Book Of Jokes - Jokes Etc

Jarizod's Book Of Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:00am On Oct 17, 2016*

[color=#679267] This is meant for pure humour/Laughs!

Even if you have seen the joke before still Laugh..Laughs can never be too much right

Coming right up

*modified*

if anyone has any joke make e share am [/color]

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:07am On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267]
A boy returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside, she got confused and said, "but I had a single one thousand naira note, now there are ten pieces of hundred naira note, how come?
The boy said, " na me change em, the last time wey I help person find purse, she say she for give me something but change no dey....
[/color]

25 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:11am On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267] Teacher : simply define Confusion
Chinedu: CONFUSION is when you go steal meat from the pot, and you forget whether the spoon was on top or inside the pot [/color]

21 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 3:35pm On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267]
Breaking news CNN
NEW SNAKE
Beware just yesterday on Nat Geo Wild, it was announced that a very dangerous snake has just been discovered. Scientists claim that the snake is an enhance species of the reptile family. According to Nat Geo Wild, the snake increases 0.5cm in length every times it feeds and it feeds every 30 seconds or less. This particular snake cannot be killed or harm by weapon except it bite itself. This is the most dangerous snake ever recorded in the history of man. This snake can only be seen in Nokia touchlight mobile phone under game option, snake Xenzia.
Thanks for carefully and patiently reading through. You can now go back to what you are doing.

[/color]

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:18pm On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267]
A boy watched their hen being mounted by 5 cocks same day,at the end of the day the hen was served as dinner.
The boy pushed his plate away and said"I'd rather sleep hungry than eat this prostitute...
[/color]

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:20pm On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267]
That annoying moment when your parents call all your, uncles aunties, elder cousins and more.
Telling them that you have joined bad gang. simply because you dodged their slap......
[/color]

20 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:01pm On Oct 17, 2016

[color=#679267]
That awkward moment when after inserting a Disc in your dvd and find out its a porn video.....immediately, nepa takes light and brings it back in the night when ur entire family has gathered to watch d film showing last memory.
U don die
And the witches and wizards in your village will be like
*ITS OUR WORK O*
*SOFT WORK*
[/color]

20 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:28pm On Oct 18, 2016

[color=#679267]
Why do some girls think its cool to remove a guys cap from his head and playfully run around with it...? If I remove your wig from your head and playfully run around with it, would you still find it funny?
[/color]

16 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:31pm On Oct 18, 2016

[color=#679267]
Girls name on Facebook
1. American qirl _ maria Smith
2. Japanese qirl _ Natasha Lee
3. Ghanaian qirl _ mensah appian
4. Nigerian qirl _ "etz dah sexy pweedy curvy Ass chocolate slay Queen dah lives at dah bending corner before shoprite"
Nawa ooo...
Naija_babez wahzzup nah
[/color]

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:53pm On Oct 18, 2016

[b] [color=#679267]
Last week.., there was a program going on in our church titled "law fest"..
This is a program where by, you will buy a gift, wrap and package it, another person will buy his or her own gift, wrap and package it, then we will all gather in the church and exchange the gifts.
So last week, I don't have much money with me and I don't want to miss the program because, I must gain a nice gift from someone.. So I decided to buy anything, I went and bought garri, u know that garri use to be heavy, so I package the garri in form of television, I bought a carton of television, put the garri inside and support it with a heavy stone, then i packaged it, and it gave me a shape of television.
So when I arrived at the church, people were dragging to seat with me because they want to exchange their own gift with mine. (Una don die today) I said in my mind"
Finally a girl who also brought her own gift sat near me, her gift has the shape of a fridge, I don't know what is inside but I believe is a nice gift. (I don hammer" I said in my mind)
So when it got to the time of exchanging of gifts, me and the girl both exchanged our gifts, she smiled and collected my own gift that contains garri and stone but in shape of television.
I collected her own gift, it was heavy like a fridge, I ran home quickly before the girl will change her mind.
When I got home, I lock my door and windows, very happy that I have cheated the girl and collected her nice gift, but I have begged God for forgiveness because I don't have much money.
When I opened the gift, behold!! I saw two bags of sand with two heavy stones bigger than the stone I put inside my own gift, when I opened the bag of sand I saw a written letter, which reads:.. "I saw you yesterday when you are packaging your own garri and stone, you think you are wise"
I just fainted......
[/color] [/b]

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:56pm On Oct 18, 2016

[color=#679267]
Atongo : What is going on in the next house?
Atia: Oh, is a birthday party.
Atongo: Whose birthday party?
Atia: Tuyu.
Atongo: who is Tuyu?
Atia: I don't know him, but they keep singing...... happy birthday tuyu...... happy birthday tuyu..... happy birthday tuyu.
[/color]

21 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:57pm On Oct 18, 2016

[color=#679267]
REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE DONT GREET ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGES
Some village old women are too much.
Just greet an old woman and she will tell you the story of your
generation.
"Good morning Maama."
Old woman "Morning,
*Is this not Chinedu the son of Ebuka the man who raped two girls before getting married to Chioma the daughter of the jackfruit seller who fell from a jackfruit tree while staring at the buttocks of Nannozi the village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting married to Buchi the Musoga from the neighbouring village.. is it not ur grandfather Mzee Katende that died of madness?
Eh, so you have grown so big?"
[/color]

27 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by 175(m): 10:59pm On Oct 18, 2016

Lmaooo

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:19am On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
A Guy living abroad called his mum to say
.
OLA: "mom, I've got HIV n so I'm coming
home"
MOM: (begging) please, OLA, never come back
home".
OLAsurprised) "why"
MOM: "If you come home, your wife will get it
and she will give it to ur brother, ur brother
will
give it to our house girl and she will give it to
your father. Your father will give it to me and I
will give it to our driver, our driver will give it
to
ur sister and if your sister gets it, then the
entire
village will get it. So we are counting on you to
die alone.
[/color]

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:22am On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
Some guys will be going to gym all the time only to come out looking lyk improper fraction
*Big head* *broad shoulders *big chest*and *toothpick leg
Warizidx mehn

[/color]

12 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by nnamdiosu(m): 8:48am On Oct 19, 2016

Kia.....ride on bro. Sooooooo funny

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:54am On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
My dear sister
You leave Your house in lagos
And go all d way to Ogbomoso To see a guy... And den something wants to happen & u r telling him u didn't come for dis....

Wah did u come for?
To charge your phone?

[/color]

13 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 2:15pm On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAD MAN AND A NORMAL MAN.
Norm. Man: Why is that u people (mad people) always laugh when there's nothing to laugh about.
Mad man: Its because you people don't see what we see in madness
Norm. Man: What do u people see?
Mad man: Have u ever seen an ant breastfeeding it babies? Or dogs having a marriage ceremony?
Norm. Man: Burst out with laughter.. Hahahaha
Mad man: U see how u are laughing now, without even seeing what I used to see.. U will even laugh more than me when u become mad.
[/color]

7 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Deejay777(m): 3:09pm On Oct 19, 2016

Jarizod:
[color=#679267]
A boy watched their hen being mounted by 5 cocks same day,at the end of the day the hen was served as dinner.
The boy pushed his plate away and said"I'd rather sleep hungry than eat this prostitute...
[/color]

i cn say dat dz is d funniest...lol

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:01pm On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
Some girls be snoring like dragon
only for dem to wake up and be updating their status like... "Gosh! I slept like a baby"

Huuunnn. Baby dragon ni
[/color]

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:06pm On Oct 19, 2016

[color=#679267]
IN HOLLYWOOD
Merlin will say just two words and a Fire-breathing dragon will appear
IN NOLLYWOOD
Abija will recite a whole Book of incantations (366 pages) just to off Candle.
then he'll finally tell you to bring the following
-
>8 virgin rats
>10 married ants
>7 pregnant mosquitoes
>2 Lesbian hens..
To appease the gods
may God return Naija sense
[/color]

6 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:04am On Oct 21, 2016

[color=#679267]
Abeg na recession cause this abi wetin
I tell person say one team played 0:0 Fulltime, he con dey ask wetin dey play for first half, I tell am den skip am, shey I no answer well? if na u wetin u go tell am?
[/color]

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:07am On Oct 21, 2016

[color=#679267]
Nollywood Saga

Sm1 flashes bck to 1982 and behind him z a sign board *VOTE FOR GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN*
[/color]

15 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:10am On Oct 21, 2016

[color=#679267]
I dont know why when we bite our tongue intentionally, it doesnt hurt. But when we accidentally bite our tongue, it really hurts! And i really dont know why you are biting your tongue right now.
[/color]

20 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 10:09pm On Oct 21, 2016

Lol hahhahahahahahahaha Nice job bro,

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:00am On Oct 22, 2016

[color=#679267]
A boy called an Fm radio station. Boy: hello, I found a big bag with #1,700, 0000.00, an ID card and master card belonging to one Mr. ALADE LANRE PETERU, residents@plot 4 Donald estate, Calabar.
Presenter: you are such a honest boy. So, I believe you want to return the bag?
Boy: No ooooo, I dey craze? For this Buhari time? I just want to dedicate a song to the owner...please, play me" my helper ooo, my helper..."
Good morning...did you slept well?
[/color]

7 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:02am On Oct 22, 2016

[color=#679267]
Nollywood

A Chief z inside a car wit d glasses wined up, armed robbers shoots at him, the bullet didn't break d glass buh killed d chief
[/color]

4 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:46am On Oct 22, 2016

Make I sit down here

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:48am On Oct 22, 2016

Jarizod:
[color=#679267]
Some guys will be going to gym all the time only to come out looking lyk improper fraction
*Big head* *broad shoulders *big chest*and *toothpick leg
Warizidx mehn

[/color]

Now, this got Me grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:00pm On Oct 22, 2016

That moment in the exam hall when you tell a Jehovah witness "open"

And he says "when I came and knocked on your door, did you open for me?"

grin

8 Likes 1 Share

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