₦airaland Forum

You've made a mistake maamaa but not to say you don't deserve to to happy. Love makes us do stupid things.

Dont allow him marry you out of pity. You'll regret it everyday. So suck it up and call it off. Take care of ur baby when he/she comes. Eventually, you'll be happy. The Lord is ur strength.

I don't get it, you forced him into impregnating you despite the fact that you knew he had a fiance, Now he's not even cheated on you with another lady and you're already lamenting.. what do you think will happen if you get treated with your own source of medication. Some ladies are just funny and plain ridiculous, Yes it's a new and developed world but why should you throw yourself to a man who already told you he's in a serious relationship. I can bet it that you trapped him down with the pregnancy and HEY forget that the wife just has an OND, even if she's a stark illiterate, must you be the reason why their relationship doesn't work.

Wait, you're asking for nairalander's sympathy, isn't it? WELL, i pray that anyone who sympathizes with you will surely find themselves in your predicament....


When will the mentality of hooking him up or down with pregnancy just stop? and the most painful part of it is that you put the kids into trouble and in most cases, they miss the joint parenthood just by one or both of their parent sheer wickedness and selfishness...

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

You are not the first person going through this. A lady in my office had this same issue. She held on to her job, had her child and she's very ok. People gossiped, made jest of her. She bore it all. It's 5years now, no one remembers. It's business as usual.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

You are not the first person going through this. A lady in my office had this same issue. She held on to her job, had her child and she's very ok. People gossiped, made jest of her. She bore it all. It's 5years now, no one remembers. It's business as usual. T

Mimzyy:
It was still fine at this point, as friends.



You should have respected him a lot more at this point cos not so many men will open up to you about their relationship status when there's a lady(you) giving them the green light somewhere

.

This was you being very selfish and manipulative, the guy obviously did not see you as anything more than a friend, he was never in love with you but you allowed yourself to be blinded by your emotions and greed. Why on earth will you even ask him to choose between you who he just met and barely has feelings for and his long time girlfriend?




He only told you what you wanted to hear, so what if she is an OND holder, did he tell you she has no plans to further her education?



You moved in with him because you wanted to keep a tab on him 24/7!!! Of course, why will he break up with her? The devil you know...



He asked you for an abortion because he is not genuinely in love with you! You practically shoved yourself down his throat. He is frustrated and angry that you messed up his plans. He agreed to live with you cos he wanted to use you as a house-help! Not cos he had any future plan to spend the rest of his life with you. Now you have an innocent baby on the way , deep sigh!!

Well, there is nothing prayer and counselling cannot do. Call for a family meeting and table everything . For the sake of the unborn, i hope things work out well for you.

You must be very good at analysing cogent points. You should come share a cup of coffee with me...
Regarding this OP's issue, she was brave to tell him she loves him, but greedy to cunningly try to snatch him. The guy only enjoyed uninterrupted free punany(only few guys will reject it anyway). I dont know anything about marriage, cos I've never been married, but i think the guy neither loves you as a lover nor wife.
Never mix business with pleasure. I'm sure you had suitors, but your greed led you to this.
You can be a PHD holder, if a guy is in love with an SSCE holder. he may find it difficult to leave her. You felt you can use your qualification to lure him? no, it does not work that way for guys. We all know what we want. He will be unhappy if you guys eventually marry, you know what that mean.
Anything can happen, when you give birth, it gives joy to men...
You tell a lady you are single she will say its a lie, you tell her you are dating, they'll find it interesting and want to find out or possibly have you for herself. women love challenges. Some of them are just confused.

Maamaa,the deal is done already,i can't judge you, so let me give you my 2cents of suggestions, can't call it an advice,pls flee now as fast as you could because if you enter into that trap yes i called it trap because you are seeing the signs now and ain't good at all,it will be very HOT for you,you will always wish you didn't. Had i know is very bad to say or imagine. With God,you will regain ur happiness.

[/color][quote author=Maaamaaa post=50489868]Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money. Maaamaaa Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Hmm. You have made the mistake and you have decided to move on which will be more beneficial for you and your child.
What you say about your self is more. Lift your head high. Walk tall. There will be gossips, jeering, gesting e.t.c but do not pay attention. The manual of life (Bible) will really be of help.

Receive Jesus into your life, ask for His mercy and move on. He will bring across your way a man that loves you to spend the rest of your life with. He will also help you make the right decisions. It is well with you. Cheer up. [color=#000099][quote author=Maaamaaa Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money. Maaamaaa Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

You have made the mistake and you have decided to move on which will be more beneficial for you and your child.
What you say about your self is more important. Lift your head high. Walk tall. There will be gossips, jeering, gesting e.t.c but do not pay attention. The manual of life (Bible) will really be of help.

Receive Jesus into your life, ask for His mercy and move on. He will bring across your way a man that loves you to spend the rest of your life with. He will also help you make the right decisions. It is well with you. Cheer up.

@ Maaamaaa

I want you to know (and understand) the make-up of a typical man. He wants to be the one to make the whole decision. He doesn't want to be boxed into a situation and he doesn't like when he has the smaller end of the stick with a woman.

I discover your man is a good and gentle person. Most of the things you said about him suggests that. Tell you the truth, I will put on this exact behaviour if my gf gets pregnant for me, in a similar situation!
But that doesn't mean I don't love her, its just that I was not the one that's making all the decision(I'll feel the pregnancy is boxing me in) and I will feel that I would ve a better option if I had looked elsewhere. But love is there, just over-shadowed by situation. So, live through this hurdle, and see the blessing.

If you try to play the trick that was suggested in this thread on him, and he is the impulsive type or in a bad mood at the moment, he may deny u without blinking an eye, (I can do same) and will regret later when in a better reasoning.

I will tell you also to stop controlling things, allow him to. Everything he should be the one to do as a man, let him do it, and don't query him or pry. Let him be the man. He is in a lot of mental stress now. I see he is the laid-back type, which u see as laziness, suddenly he doesn't like gisting, he is the mental type, not on-the-go... And you are a go getter. Allow him. Don't nag or create more stress. Both of you are just displaying the lack of grasp of personality knowledge in marriage, with a sudden change of status, not contemplated for.

Then to the "marry out of pity" mentality; let me tell you that almost all marriage has a reason. Pity, compassion, respect, interest, body shape, colour, education, voice, pregnancy, religion, family, parents, sibling, make-up, opportunity, luck, favour, likeness, even hatred can make you discover love, where you think it doesn't exist. There is always a reason for every marriage, just pray for understanding in ur partner. Even at the wedding altar, you will start entertaining some doubt if you have made the best choice, serious fear if it will work, and if you won't regret it later, much more when you are making the consideration because of pregnancy. My point is that in reality, there is always a reason for marriage, forget fairy tales.

I am telling you how I would have behaved in similar situation; and I can tell you its normal and typical of most men.

Lastly, don't contemplate abortion, many women are on church altars crying for such blessing, please don't despise urs because of situations around. The situation has gotten so bad now so much so that many guys are impregnating their fiance first before traditional marriage just to be sure their is no incompatibility as regards child bearing

mrLhanray:
You must be very good at analysing cogent points. You should come share a cup of coffee with me...
Regarding this OP's issue, she was brave to tell him she loves him, but greedy to cunningly try to snatch him. The guy only enjoyed uninterrupted free punany(only few guys will reject it anyway). I dont know anything about marriage, cos I've never been married, but i think the guy neither loves you as a lover nor wife.
Never mix business with pleasure. I'm sure you had suitors, but your greediness led you to this.
You can be a PHD holder, if a guy is in love with an SSCE holder. he may find it difficult to leave her. You felt you can use your qualification to lure him? no, it does not work that way for guys. We all know what we want. He will be unhappy if you guys eventually marry, you know what that mean. But anything can happen, when you give birth, it gives joy to men...

I do not mind @ the emboldened. Lol

Maaamaaa:
Please don't misjudged me.

I told him that I had feelings for him and he said he has too but he has a girlfriend.
I decided not to be so close to him then because he was my only friend in a new town with no family.
I made other friends at work, I went out for occasions with my other colleagues because I believed my love for him will die if we were not so close.

He became jealous and will badmouth other male colleagues that had interest in me.
Some days he will tell me I know I'm making a big mistake if I don't marry you, you're everything I want in a wife.

He will come to my house and be all loving and caring but sometimes he will still call the girl.

I got tired of his games and told him to choose between us because I'm not in the mood for games, I never forced or cajoled him to date me.

Even when I found out he had not fully broken up with him, I told him I'm moving out (we were living together) and moving on, he apologized and I let it go (although he told me he did that beause he had no rent then).

can u contact me? I feel ur pain and stand by u regardless of what anyone thinks. Ur strong and I respect u for even being able to open up on how u feel to a guy. I'd really love to be a friend and help u anyway I can. Hook me up on Fb Anozie loveth. The lord will see u true

Patience is all there is....I can wait until he has the courage to tell me or I can just move on with another guy that's bold enough to tell me

Tuham:
What if there's a 98% clear signs he's interested in you, and he also makes you happy.
but just that he doesn't know yet, how to tell you?

I feel so sad reading your story ,op.
The two huge mistake u. Made with this guy is allowing him live with you, because he was broke at that time.. Any man that wants me to live with him or wants to. Live with me but be ready to pay my bride price and do the needful.. Anything short of that, am. Not interested...

Then secondly, not taking precautions about pregnancy...

It's a pity op, but you are on your own.. My advice is as you've renewed the rent, keep living with him but make him understand in clear terms, u don't want to get marri3d to him cos of pity or cos of shame.. Make hi understand he has rights to the baby and both of you will be living as Co flat mates.. Until u are buoyant enough to move out and rent your apartment.. So he can be free to marry whosoever he wishes.. When you are talking to him, pls don't look down cast and don't cry.. Hold your head up high and let him understand, you have changed too and you want the best for yourself and your baby..
Any other thing is secondary, as he has proven clearly he doesn't love you..
Don't ever beg a man to be with you, even if he's your baby daddy... Cos you will keep on begging for the rest of your life.

It's so sad.. The guy does not know what he's throwing away.. What a pity... What a huge pity..
Op, the Lord is your strength.. Pls focus on making yourself happy... U need it..place his wahala behind you.. God will see you through.. And always visit your parents.. U need them more than ever now... Take care.

Maaamaaa:
He said he met her September and then it was just an online relationship but they physically met December when he went home for Christmas last year.

I did not force myself on him, yes I was just stupidly in love. He will get drunk come to my place when I go out with another man, I never tried to make him jealous. I was just having other friends.

I did not move in with him to keep tabs on him, he was broke and could not afford his rent. So we planned to use my own rent to renew his.

He asked for an abortion because he was flat broke and had no money for the wedding (so he said) but we he got an option if taking a loan he agreed to it.. He is about to take the loan.

The OND case is that he said he still has a long way to go.

I believe he decided to date me because I was the convenient option.

Just stop it OK.. Just stop defending him or justify ur actions. Fucking . Stop. It...
This is a deep this tight. Face reality and accept ur mistakes and try make urself plan for the future pls. May God lead u right
P. S don't marry him or else u r in for domestic violence n emotional abuse before u start crying to the public men r bad, n dis n dt.... Nobody will know ow it started.
Sorry. It is well with u.

Maaamaaa:
I also think my mother is biased because of the backlash she'll get from my Dad and also because she endured a bad marriage. I always prayed for a better home than what my mother went through.

I didn't see this


Ishilove
Mimzyy
Did you see this?

justmenoni:
I don't get it, [size=18pt]you forced him into impregnating you[/size] despite the fact that you knew he had a fiance, Now he's not even cheated on you with another lady and you're already lamenting.. what do you think will happen if you get treated with your own source of medication. Some ladies are just funny and plain ridiculous, Yes it's a new and developed world but why should you throw yourself to a man who already told you he's in a serious relationship. I can bet it that you trapped him down with the pregnancy and HEY forget that the wife just has an OND, even if she's a stark illiterate, must you be the reason why their relationship doesn't work.

Wait, you're asking for nairalander's sympathy, isn't it? WELL, i pray that anyone who sympathizes with you will surely find themselves in your predicament....

When will the mentality of hooking him up or down with pregnancy just stop? and the most painful part of it is that you put the kids into trouble and in most cases, they miss the joint parenthood just by one or both of their parent sheer wickedness and selfishness...

I don't understand . . . how do you 'force' a grown man into impregnating you

Dis she rape him?

C' mon.

Ujoan:
I don't understand . . . how do you 'force' a grown man into impregnating you

Dis she rape him?

sisisioge:
Chai! You have climbed the tree beyond the last leaf!

Biko don't go through with the wedding. Don't breed the imminent hatred please. Your child, yourself, the guy the other girl, your families.... Pls, hold off the wedding. Pls! I so pity the guy, although the mof is guilty, he's a responsible guy. Another will put you and your unborn child on a blast! Pls help everybody by placing the wedding on hold.

As par how your got here...you already know the drill.

You have hammered it all.

Hmmmm, now i understand. She automatically has to endure too. I wish her well on her endurance journey

Dyt:
I didn't see this


Ishilove
Mimz.yy
Did you see this?

Madam, note this, NEVER marry out of sympathy.If he happens to marry you out of sympathy, you will forever remain unhappy for the rest of your life.

Having a child does not mean that your life is destroyed. Genevieve Nnaji and their likes, are single mothers and they have made it in life. Note that the said guy can never EVER love you. If he is the wicked type, he can kill you slowly and later marry his heart. No one is above mistake. Pray and ask God for forgiveness and a way forward, and He will come your way.

If he is guilty, he will regret his action later and you too, if you are guilty of forcing yourself to him, despite knowing that there was another woman before you, you equally should feel that same guilt over the other woman before you.

This marriage can NEVER work out.

As per your place of work, never mind what people will say because as human beings, people cannot stop talking.Put the whole issue behind you, face your job and think about the future of the baby. Your husband, despite you having a child, must come your way.Just make yourself happy.

drnoel:
Madam that thinking is so wrong it hurts to hear or see it written. As I said thank God thats just ur opinion and not a statement of fact. I know couples who the wives proposed to and they are wed. Infact my tightest pal proposed to her husband and even provided the money to marry him, took him outside the country and set him up. They are happy and blessed with 4 kids and are in their 10th year of marriage. She put him through school and now he has a very good paying job and doesnt joke her. Don't get me wrong, I dont support cohabitating but such level in a relationship is not for children. If a couple decide they are ready to cohabit who can stop them when they are adults?
The mistake u make is the fellacy of thinking that its a man's world and men are the stronger of tge sexes. I don't blame u, the african mentality doesn't allow our women move their necks. My wifey also had such orientation before I corrected it. U will be making a big mistake if u continue thinking in that line. If a man looses interest in a woman it won't matter if he was the one who pursued her or if she was the one so also if a woman looses interest. I don't know why our brains back home is so twisted backwards it doesn't allow us think clearly. About putting God first thats what ever human being should do. Am sure u are unmarried thats why u can talk such things cos u are inexperienced. Advice to u, don't ever make the mistake to put god before u husband cos u will return and catch him probably gone or sleeping ur housemaid. Word enof!

Wait, U said 'back home' then I guess U r not in Nigeria. What I said wasn't just an opinion but from stark experience. My own personal experience, not just once but 2x! Currently my colleague and best friend is also going through the same thing. Pursue men here in Nigeria and they will take U for granted. If the feeling is mutual then it is good but if it is one sided then U in trouble. U cannot force someone to love U, a thing I have learnt to my cost. U can never put ur husband before God in ur life unless of course U r a mere church goer. God first no matter what. And by the way way., I am no longer single. I was before. As for cohabitation, I maintain it is completely and utterly wrong unless the couple r not genuine and bible believing Christians then they can do whatever they want adult or not. Ur friend was lucky her man loved her genuinely for herself and the feeling is mutual. Do not assume it must be the same for every couple. To each his own. Never forget that. A lady who feels attracted to a guy should pursue him all she wants and gives herself to him but she should be ready for the consequences when he does not feel the same way towards her. A promiscuous husband would be promiscuous whether U put him first or last. A Christian wife married to a Christian husband knows the balance. Putting God first doesn't mean neglecting ur home. U say U r married but I don't see ur experience unless of course U r a free thinker in which case U will never understand my points. When God is first in ur home, He makes ur home straight. U will both understand each other and give selflessly. It will never be one sided.

Maamaa pls hold ur peace this baby wil surely bring u gud tidings by God grace. Pls live shame when some people ar lukin for somebody like u, ah God wil be wv u. Keep us informed

soonest:
Op, that man doesn't love you one bit. If you go ahead with that wedding, very soon he will start beating you. Move on, what has happened has happened.
You can only move on if you move out of that house of co-habitation. But if you still want to go on with the marriage, all the best.

My sis, i hope u r reading this. Experience they say is d best teacher. I will advice u keep u head up high n forget about the wedding. Call it off. U will not be d first to do that. In a marriage, u need love, respect n happiness. Its obvious these 3 dont exist. Face it, U guyz cant 'work'. Keep d baby n care n love that child. Truth is he loves another not u. Let him go. U deserve better. He doesnt love u now he may never love u at all. He feels d child is what is holding him down in d 'relationship'. Do not underestimate a man. He may 'kidnap' ur child n elope with dt other lady in future. Sit ur parents down n tell them d wedding cant go on. Its beta that way. Stop cohabiting with him from this moment. If u can get a mini flat for urself, pls do but if u can booth him out, pls do. Ifbu can relocate sef, its beta. U r more important to urself n uur baby. No kill urself because of man o. But if u proceed with d wedding, hmmmmm smh

How can u a 23yrs old accommodate a 32yrs Old to the extent of cohabiting. Pay bill. Nigerian girls and marriage marriage.

Maaamaaa:
Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.

I don't understand ma.. You can't call of the wedding because he will use it against ur parents and his!! AND SO I don't think you understand that marriage is FOR LIFE. anybody Advising u to put the wedding on hold till the baby comes blah blah blah.. Like he is going to change his mind. Love u and the baby. What if the baby comes and he decided not to contribute anything... He didn't even discuss with u abt the antenatal..
My sister, your parents won't live in ur house with u when u marry.. INFACT, CALL UR PARENTS AND HIS PARENTS TOO AND TELL THE YOU CANT CONTINUE WITH THE WEDDING.. NO BODY WILL DIE. YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULD BE YOUR PRIORITY. MARRY THIS GUY AT YOUR OWN RISK.. people will talk but they Will find something to talk abt later.. Just look at the way he is already treating you. BE WISE!!!

justmenoni:
C' mon.

I'm just really really confused. I mean how does a woman force a man to impregnate her

It's funny how men conveniently exonerate themselves when women get pregnant, as if he was forced to have sex without taking precautions.

He knew he wasn't ready for marriage, yet he kept taking advantage of this lady. I think he deserves every single pain he is apssing through right now. Serves him right . . .

I pray OP gives birth to Triplets, 2 boys and a girl . . . . .

Maaamaaa:
Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.

No honey.. Call off the wedding your self and stand by your decision until d baby is born. Only you can decide how you want to be treated..

ladyverere:
Wait, U said 'back home' then I guess U r not in Nigeria. What I said wasn't just an opinion but from stark experience. My own personal experience, not just once but 2x! Currently my colleague and best friend is also going through the same thing. Pursue men here in Nigeria and they will take U for granted. If the feeling is mutual then it is good but if it is one sided then U in trouble. U cannot force someone to love U, a thing I have learnt to my cost. U can never put ur husband before God in ur life unless of course U r a mere church goer. God first no matter what. And by the way way., I am no longer single. I was before. As for cohabitation, I maintain it is completely and utterly wrong unless the couple r not genuine and bible believing Christians then they can do whatever they want adult or not. Ur friend was lucky her man loved her genuinely for herself and the feeling is mutual. Do not assume it must be the same for every couple. To each his own. Never forget that. A lady who feels attracted to a guy should pursue him all she wants and gives herself to him but she should be ready for the consequences when he does not feel the same way towards her. A promiscuous husband would be promiscuous whether U put him first or last. A Christian wife married to a Christian husband knows the balance. Putting God first doesn't mean neglecting ur home. U say U r married but I don't see ur experience unless of course U r a free thinker in which case U will never understand my points. When God is first in ur home, He makes ur home straight. U will both understand each other and give selflessly. It will never be one sided.

Am not a free thinker but a liberal believing Christian. I intend to raise my children also in that way but I am not dogged in my Godly belief neither am I into misreading the scriptures and applying it wrongly in my life. One has to find the balance in ones life according to ones belief. U don't see me talking those things cos am a very private person thats why but felt I had to correct a statement.
Yes it is obvious ur experience has made u have a sad notion about men but as u say u are a Christian look into urself and u will see u are judging men to harshly. The fact that Jimmy is bad doesn't mean Timmy is bad too.

queencalipso:
No honey.. Call off the wedding your self and stand by your decision until d baby is born. Only you can decide how you want to be treated..

You have told her the bitter truth. That marriage cannot work out if she forces herself to it. She cannot marry out of sympathy.Either she take your advise or to go ahead with her wish.

I do not wish her bad but come tomorrow, she will be here again crying over an abusive marriage.Hence there is no love, anger could set in and the guy would end up using her the way he wants.

ItsQuinn:
Patience is all there is.... I can wait until he has the courage to tell me 'or' I can just move on with another guy that's bold enough to tell me

You know, That your last sentence struck me!
Seems you ladies have an association where you discuss and agree on the same opinion?
Cos thats exactly what happened between i and a friend:/
Learnt my lesson though

drnoel:
Am not a free thinker but a liberal believing Christian. I intend to raise my children also in that way but I am not dogged in my Godly belief neither am I into misreading the scriptures and applying it wrongly in my life. One has to find the balance in ones life according to ones belief. U don't see me talking those things cos am a very private person thats why but felt I had to correct a statement.
Yes it is obvious ur experience has made u have a sad notion about men but as u say u are a Christian look into urself and u will see u are judging men to harshly. The fact that Jimmy is bad doesn't mean Timmy is bad too.

OK. There is nothing like a 'liberal believing Christian'. I try to be fair because I have a lot of brothers and they struggle to be good men and great husbands. I have handled and still handling cases involving couples who cohabited and had kids. Not even 1 or 2 but up to 4, 5 and 6 kids! The men got tired of the women and left. Within a year they are property married to some other woman! And guess what? These are men whose women did everything, and I mean everything for them. Women should be very careful. Love should be mutual and as it is never enough to sustain any long-term relationship women should ensure the men cares for them deeply, respects them and they are highly responsible. Do not waste ur feelings and resources on someone who is only there for some freebies.

ElsonMorali:
Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

This person had ur best interest in mind. @ Maamaaa call off the wedding. You will not die..

sisisioge:
About moving on in the office... No look anybody's face. They will talk, soon they would get over it. Don't get in an argument, don't feel the need to explain. If you have one or two you feel you own an explanation, just tell them sheet happens.Be of good countenance, I think you strongly need the three months maternity paid leave so I won't also advise you quit. Good luck baby girl...sheet happens, especially to good gullible people.

Now you know why its not recommended to mix business with pleasure. Pele.

I love this Sisisioge well done u have said it all