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Your Ex Is Not Your Friend - Romance - Nairaland

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Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by francisbarrack(op): 11:11am On Oct 30, 2016
Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting, Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the man or woman you call Ex is not.
You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or she is just a friend’.
Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.
Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship, feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.
No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships. Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just pretending to be dead.
Being an Ex means thank you for your time, relationship, love, experience, memories. We are done and have moved on. This is why you need all the time to examine your relationship and be sure if you need some space to think things over or really want to end it. If you don't do this process right, you always cause trouble for your next relationship.
It even has the power to spark cheating, insecurity or even end your new relationship prematurely. When there are unresolved conflicts, lack of affection and satisfaction, one is tempted to go back to the Ex. Anytime something goes wrong, you are quick to compare your relationship with what you had with your Ex.
Since attention breeds affections, constant communication with your ex can start a relationship you never planned. Again, talking to your Ex can most at times bring back some memories which can send you back into each other’s arms.
Never make your partner feel insecure if you really love them and want to be with them. Make them your only one, not your number one with the Ex on the bench waiting for an opportunity to correct their mistakes or win your love.
If you can lose someone you never dreamt of losing which is your Ex, please replace them with someone you never dreamt of having and stick to them by choice.
In conclusion "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland".
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 11:14am On Oct 30, 2016
cool na just why I like myself. Who ever I put in my past stays in my past. There is nothing like me being friends with dem back again..
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 11:26am On Oct 30, 2016

Exes aren't demons... undecided
they're people just like You and me... Just because They didn't get to spend the rest of their Old, Eternal lives with you shouldn't make them Bad people.

Relationships always don't last forever. smiley
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 11:27am On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Exes aren't demons... undecided
they're people just like You and me... Just because They didn't get to spend the rest of their Old, Eternal lives with you shouldn't make them Bad people.

Relationships always don't last forever. smiley
cool
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Bluezy13(m): 11:28am On Oct 30, 2016
Hmmm...






Food for those who love
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Viking007(m): 11:34am On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Exes aren't demons... undecided
they're people just like You and me... Just because They didn't get to spend the rest of their Old, Eternal lives with you shouldn't make them Bad people.

Relationships always don't last forever. smiley
Nobody said the are "bad people" undecided

When the 'ex' becomes a pest threat to Your current relationship, its best You cut them off. And block them from Your life.
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 11:35am On Oct 30, 2016
Having sex with an ex is awesome and more pleasurable.
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Teespice(f): 11:44am On Oct 30, 2016
I used to have this school of thought but not any more.

you can still be friends with your ex but then create boundaries so that feelings do not creep in.

alternatively, create space to a point whereby you are certain you have moved on and feelings no longer exist. that way you can relate with your ex.

some prefer to burn bridges especially if the breakup was that bad.

at the end, it is knowing what is best for an individual.
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 11:47am On Oct 30, 2016
I always block and delete...
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by EyeofHorus: 11:52am On Oct 30, 2016
I was never in love with my exes. They make good friends than lovers.
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 11:56am On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
cool
tongue How many exes have you made so far? tongue


Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 11:58am On Oct 30, 2016
Viking007:
Nobody said the are "bad people" undecided

When the 'ex' becomes a pest threat to Your current relationship, its best You cut them off. And block them from Your life.


eh, why should they become pests? and how do they become pests? undecided if you'd be so kind to explain... smiley


Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 11:59am On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:
tongue

How many exes have you made so far? tongue



online exes or actual exes? grin
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Viking007(m): 12:02pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:


eh, why should they become pests? and how do they become pests? undecided if you'd be so kind to explain... smiley


Here, a perfect example of when the ex becomes a threat.


https://www.nairaland.com/3436708/ex-keep-coming-family-compound#50623660
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 12:04pm On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
online exes or actual exes? grin

Eh, Actual exes.. tongue



Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 12:05pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Eh, Actual exes.. tongue



three .. wink
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 12:06pm On Oct 30, 2016
Viking007:
Here, a perfect example of when the ex becomes a threat.


https://www.nairaland.com/3436708/ex-keep-coming-family-compound#50623660

Are you the author? undecided



Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 12:07pm On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
three .. wink
So, they're all your enemies? :-~


Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Viking007(m): 12:09pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Are you the author? undecided



How does me not being the author affects/changes anything undecided
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 12:10pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

So, they're all your enemies? :-~



urm nope...


there is a difference between an enemy and an ex.



I just don't communicate with any of them anymore..
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by sekundosekundo: 12:18pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Exes aren't demons... undecided
they're people just like You and me... Just because They didn't get to spend the rest of their Old, Eternal lives with you shouldn't make them Bad people.

Relationships always don't last forever. smiley
You sounds as if you are guilty.

Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 12:52pm On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
urm nope...

there is a difference between an enemy and an ex.


I just don't communicate with any of them anymore..
lol..gee, I wonder why! undecided

Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 12:53pm On Oct 30, 2016
Viking007:
How does me not being the author affects/changes anything undecided

It mightn't be authentic... undecided


Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by francisbarrack(op): 1:56pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

Exes aren't demons... undecided
they're people just like You and me... Just because They didn't get to spend the rest of their Old, Eternal lives with you shouldn't make them Bad people.

Relationships always don't last forever. smiley
shocked more insight pls. Ur reaction pls wen u eventually marry n ur spouse communicate with his ex
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 3:18pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

lol..gee, I wonder why! undecided


wonder why I don't communicate with them anymore? Because they are my exes.. I don't communicate with exes.. they live in my past. Why should I communicate with my past?
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by akaahs(m): 3:32pm On Oct 30, 2016
francisbarrack:
Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting, Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the man or woman you call Ex is not.
You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or she is just a friend’.
Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.
Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship, feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.
No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships. Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just pretending to be dead.
Being an Ex means thank you for your time, relationship, love, experience, memories. We are done and have moved on. This is why you need all the time to examine your relationship and be sure if you need some space to think things over or really want to end it. If you don't do this process right, you always cause trouble for your next relationship.
It even has the power to spark cheating, insecurity or even end your new relationship prematurely. When there are unresolved conflicts, lack of affection and satisfaction, one is tempted to go back to the Ex. Anytime something goes wrong, you are quick to compare your relationship with what you had with your Ex.
Since attention breeds affections, constant communication with your ex can start a relationship you never planned. Again, talking to your Ex can most at times bring back some memories which can send you back into each other’s arms.
Never make your partner feel insecure if you really love them and want to be with them. Make them your only one, not your number one with the Ex on the bench waiting for an opportunity to correct their mistakes or win your love.
If you can lose someone you never dreamt of losing which is your Ex, please replace them with someone you never dreamt of having and stick to them by choice.
In conclusion "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland".
hmmmmm, what about a case where d other partner need a break bcause of frequen problems nd decided be friends. Is there hope in that relationship?
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 4:32pm On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
wonder why I don't communicate with them anymore? Because they are my exes.. I don't communicate with exes.. they live in my past. Why should I communicate with my past?

so, exes are STILL synonymous to evil people, then? undecided tongue


Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 4:44pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:

so, exes are STILL synonymous to evil people, then? undecided tongue


lol I still communicate with my enemies.. example you grin
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 7:16pm On Oct 30, 2016
talk2alabama:
lol I still communicate with my enemies.. example you grin
lol. ouch! grin

you mean, we dated in the past? shockedshocked Must've been drunk Af

Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by DaySpringer: 7:20pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:
lol. ouch! grin

you mean, we dated in the past? shockedshocked Must've been drunk Af

You drunk date?

isn't that what they call a one night stand?
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by talk2alabama: 7:25pm On Oct 30, 2016
Estharfabian:
lol. ouch! grin

you mean, we dated in the past? shockedshocked Must've been drunk Af

who mentioned dating now! I tot I specifically distinguished the difference between an enemy and an ex according to hector's dictionary.



Enemies don't date. Dey fight..
Re: Your Ex Is Not Your Friend by Nobody: 7:43pm On Oct 30, 2016
DaySpringer:
You drunk date?
isn't that what they call a one night stand?
eh, drunkFück, you mean? undecided

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