dominique:
You want to do the right thing at the wrong time. Must you get married now? Why not wait till you're financially comfortable? After the wedding, what next? You start making babies and you rush back to nairaland for assistance? Yes, Nikkah is a sunnah of the prophet (SAW) but not when you're not financially stable.

hemsquare:


Thanks for your comment i thought is just too late to reverse the date.....

hemsquare:
Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Dear Brothers and sisters in Islam, i come unto with the most blessed greetings Assalamu Alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu. Your brother in Islam, Brother Abdulrahman is planing for his Nikah on 24th of December this year, whom just completed is mandatory NYSC in November 4 this year. I am using this medium to strongly request for your financial support towards making my Nikah a successful one. up to this moment i am typing all i have on ground is my little savings during service year and with current economic recession is nothing to go by with. With all other intending sources are failing with one excuses or the other. Dear Kind hearted brothers and sisters in islam am reaching out to you to pls come to my aid, nothing will be too small and whatever you contributed to this course May the Almighty Allah multiply it in multiple fold. Amin. GTB 0034327057 ABDULMALIK ABDULRAHMAN DARE
Check my wedding I.V here for authentication
https://www.facebook.com/damilare

PENMIGHT:


May Allaah bless your Nikkah for you.

1) If it is easy to postpone the date, you should please consider that. This takes a lot of pressure off you and put you in good stead for a marital bliss devoid of burden of debts and possible reminder of favors by those who would have been instrumental to your getting married.


2) If postponing the date fixed will cause more havoc than good, either by having to bring disrepute to you or making you lose a pious wife-to-be, then I will advice you do not postpone the date but cut your cloth according to your cloth.

Nothing stipulates that you must have the marriage feast instantly. This can me postponed till Allaah enriches yout better ,while you just focus on the Marriage Solemnization alone for now.

This should be conservative of your scares resources, yet fulfilling of the ultimate goal.

3) If the option directly above is still a huge mountain to climb, you can please send a PM. This is , though, hoping you have a verifiable claim.

May Allah grant you ease.

Surah An-Noor, Verse 32:

وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.

dominique:
You want to do the right thing at the wrong time. Must you get married now? Why not wait till you're financially comfortable? After the wedding, what next? You start making babies and you rush back to nairaland for assistance? Yes, Nikkah is a sunnah of the prophet (SAW) but not when you're not financially stable.

dejt4u:
what were you thinking before fixing a date..?
I wish you the very best but to say the truth, you are supposed to get a steady source of income before venturing into marriage.. How do you intend to take care of your wife and children?

PENMIGHT:

May Allaah bless your Nikkah for you.
1) If it is easy to postpone the date, you should please consider that. This takes a lot of pressure off you and put you in good stead for a marital bliss devoid of burden of debts and possible reminder of favors by those who would have been instrumental to your getting married.
2) If postponing the date fixed will cause more havoc than good, either by having to bring disrepute to you or making you lose a pious wife-to-be, then I will advice you do not postpone the date but cut your cloth according to your cloth.
Nothing stipulates that you must have the marriage feast instantly. This can me postponed till Allaah enriches yout better ,while you just focus on the Marriage Solemnization alone for now.
This should be conservative of your scares resources, yet fulfilling of the ultimate goal.
3) If the option directly above is still a huge mountain to climb, you can please send a PM. This is , though, hoping you have a verifiable claim.
May Allah grant you ease.
Surah An-Noor, Verse 32:
وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ
And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.

dominique:

Why not wait till you're financially comfortable?

hemsquare:
Jazakhumlahu Khairan

MrOlai:


Jazakumullah khaeran! What a wonderful contribution!

MrOlai:

This really got me laughing!
In Nigeria of today? Some have been waiting to be financially stable before getting married for the past 15 years now! Even with that, no hope of financial stability for them! They lost on both sides!
Some of them have even joined MMM to have financial stability! Financial stability is all by Allah's mercy! For as soon as a person is free to lay his/her hands on something halal for livelihood, then, the person can start his/her family life. Allah(SWT) will do the rest Insha Allah.

MrOlai:




I think we should not discourage the Brother. This is a person who has graduated from university. He has finished his NYSC. He is not somebody in JSS 1 or JSS 2. Being chained down by academics is no longer there for him. With his status, he can surely lay his hands on something for livelihood now, no matter how small. We should not discourage him. Rather, we should encourage him. He has tried.

There are millions of people like him outside who commit fornication and adultery all in the name of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships! Some of them fornicate and commit adultery all in the name of mut'ah, like the shias! Some of them see no reason for them to marry at that stage since they have ladies they are committing zina with. In fact, some of them see marriage as a hindrance because that would checkmate their fornication/adulterous lives!

So, don't let us discourage the Brother. He has really tried at that stage. If she has a very understanding wife, they will plan together on how to live their lives without constituting or being a burden to the society. They may delay child bearing by Allah's mercy, if they feel they want to become more stable before doing that. At least, they would be halal to each other sexwise.

I got married to my wife immediately after NYSC. In fact, three months after the completion of NYSC.We met after the NYSC. we served together. I had no job and she had no job. One of us was a virgin at that time. May Allah(SWT) in His mercy forgive all our shortcomings. (Amin). Yet, we understood our conditions, we planned together and we did our Nikah, though low key Nikah. Alhamdulillah today, we have a good family with so many dependants, from within and outside the family. It's all by Allah's mercy.

So, please, Brothers and Sisters, don't let us discourage him. May Allah(SWT) ease all our affairs. (Amin).

dejt4u:
i understand you to some extent bro.. I am not trying to discourage the OP.. I'm just trying to be real. You dont put the cart ahead of the horse..
Being the fact that it worked for you doesnt mean that it will work for all.. I have seen families that poverty is ripping apart. I such situations, it is the innocent children that I pity most.

I still maintain my point that a man must get a source of income no matter how low to at least maintain the family..

Wishing you and your spouse joy and happiness.

Jazakallahu Khaira!

lexiconkabir:

just a random question, are you a TMC?

dejt4u:
what is TMC please?

lexiconkabir:


Never mind....

But i tell you brother, its better for the brother to get married now, so as to curb the chances of zina which is a punishable sin, every human has a certain sustenance that has been written for him in a particular day, being "financially stable" is not up to them but up to Allaah Ar-Razaak, so we shouldn't discourage the brother, he came here to seek for help, not to ask if he should marry or not.

dejt4u:

I still maintain my point that a man must get a source of income no matter how low to at least maintain the family..


Jazakallahu Khaira!

MrOlai:


Wa iyaakum.
@bolded. You're very correct. It's very important. As a young graduate, the brother will surely get something to do for a living, although it may be small. This is what I considered myself before saying he should not be discouraged. I understand you quite well.

ayinba1:
As Salam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu. These are issues that are indeed crucial to the ummah.
I was told a story of a non Muslim. He was 44 before getting married, Before the age of 44, he had periods of great affluence and periods that were not so great. Today, he still seeks from others to fulfill his responsibilities.
As Muslims, do we confuse marriage with wedding ceremonies? Once we can separate our understanding of these 2, our lives will be so much easier.
I pray Allah grants OP ease in his affairs. Ameen. For our young brothers and sisters who may be approaching thoughts of being with someone in the near future, the time is now to build a firm foundation for what you want from Allah by doing this which he has commanded. May Allah make it easy for us all, ameen

ayinba1:
As Salam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu. These are issues that are indeed crucial to the ummah.
I was told a story of a non Muslim. He was 44 before getting married, Before the age of 44, he had periods of great affluence and periods that were not so great. Today, he still seeks from others to fulfill his responsibilities.
As Muslims, do we confuse marriage with wedding ceremonies? Once we can separate our understanding of these 2, our lives will be so much easier.
I pray Allah grants OP ease in his affairs. Ameen. For our young brothers and sisters who may be approaching thoughts of being with someone in the near future, the time is now to build a firm foundation for what you want from Allah by doing this which he has commanded. May Allah make it easy for us all, ameen