₦airaland Forum

abvictory:
take it easy o, my advice, i lost a relationship recently even when we have started planning for wedding by this Dec but later shifted to Easter, but am just myself, never bothers myself much about it even though the mother specifically is not happy with the lady. I just looked at it like a normal thing, i still talk to her as if nothing happens. that's just life. you will surely still meet another but Love has always been based on circumstances known or unknown. Just live your life on, you shall stand to your feet again.

john1964:
Guys thanks for the advice, but it feels so sad going back to been just friends all over with someone you're really in love with, she called me this morning to ask how I was doing, tho not based on the issue, but she later brought it up that hope am not still thinking about what she told me yesterday. That at least we've been dating for 3 years and things went really well for both of us, and if we're meant to be in the future we might find ourselves dating again

john1964:
I wanted to continue both courses so just incase the judgement is light at least I will have 2 degrees

nely:
You too go and marry someone else, she's only your girlfriend not your wife, There are to many problems this days in this country, for someone to disturb his self over women issue

john1964:
Guys thanks for the advice, but it feels so sad going back to been just friends all over with someone you're really in love with, she called me this morning to ask how I was doing, tho not based on the issue, but she later brought it up that hope am not still thinking about what she told me yesterday. That at least we've been dating for 3 years and things went really well for both of us, and if we're meant to be in the future we might find ourselves dating again

Amelian:
You are absolutely right. No money, no love.
A man lost his wife during labour cause he had no money for blood transfusion. Before he rally round to borrow money, she died.
A guy lost his girlfriend, who had malaria and typhoid and also malnourished, and she died of typhoid, when there was no money for proper treatment.
A guy lost his girlfriend due to high bp, before he could rally round for. Money to take her to the hospital, she died on the way.
So many scenarios like that, when money is not involved.
So op, just move on and focus on your studies and making money by the side.
I repeat no human being loves poverty. Do yourself a favour and make it.

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

jswagg4:
Brozzz! 5 green bottles 4 u

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

joycesims:
na my back o!

buffalowings:
Dafuq, this is like a time loop
This is the best write up I've seen on here

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

nely:
You too go and marry someone else, she's only your girlfriend not your wife, There are to many problems this days in this country, for someone to disturb his self over women issue

elbaraj001:
But remember, we all need love, n with all d problems we someone we love to be right beside us...love conquers all....

Ujuhot:
You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.
Written by @jaetomz

What goes around...

john1964:
Hi guys I know nairaland ain't the perfect Place to come asking for advice but I have no one to confide to, am this kinda person that find it hard sharing personal issues with someone I know, When I read people write about their personal love life issues I find it very funny sha..lol..

Not knowing I'll one day face mine and be forced to share it. Been dating this girl for 3 years now am in the university, 400L while she's in her 300L presently, she's always cared and loved me undoubtedly since day 1, always had back in school both financially and others too and we've always had this plan for a future together, coz I strongly believe and know our love was real. The bond we had was just so strong, suddenly I had an issue with school which brought me back though.

Sadly Had to start all over from 100L it hurts me so much, though all the time have been going through this dilemma, she's always tried encouraging me and pushed me not to give up on my dream.

I was almost thinking so negative when I had this school ish, thought about killing myself thinking the world was over. But this lady stood by me and never gave up on me and convinced me that killing my self wouldn't help matters (I was really a mess then, like a HUGE mess) didn't go out much, had to stay in school a whole year preparing all over again for jamb nd all that, tho still attending lectures.

Now, when I had this issue that was were my dreams started shattering, our future wasn't looking all bright anymore because now am starting all over again, when I'll be in my 100L she'll be in her 300L and on and on like that..

It really broke my heart, at some point she believes in me and tries to convince me things would be better and I'll definitely scale through, But most times there's just this little doubts that comes in, You Ladies are prone to marry early (and she's very cute) which is actually a huge A+, men have always been coming asking for her hand in marriage and she has always declined them.. But she ain't getting any younger, and has to get married someday, sadly she told me yesterday she really do love me so much and has always had my back always and supported me always and which is so true that she has just decided to give me some lil break so I can try sorting my self out and balancing my life and she has decided to agree to one of her suitors(the guy is quite close to her family/ he's financially stable too tho the guy has a lil kid sha I guess his a single dad) coz she's always told me about ppl asking for her hand in marriage, though they ain't getting married now, but at least she wants to face him, instead of pushing away all her suitors and in the future wen she graduates and am Still in school, it might not be easy for me to be financially stable easily, tho she begged me that Pls hope I wouldn't paint her as a bad person coz she really tried for me.

I've just been really down since she told me this and it's really affecting me so much tho what she says is sadly the truth, Have just really built my life around her and she's just the only one I confined to in school when I have issues (coz am really this typa person who don't flows and share things easily with anyone, I kinda hv trust issues) don't really know how I'll cope when Am back to school, we leave close to each other in school, and she still really wants to be friends with me and wants to always support me too. Don't really know what to do right now I really do love her so much because she's an amazing person who has just been by my side through really hard times in school, it wont be easy starting Just as friends right now, I really do have a mild heart.

Wish I could rewind the hands of the clock and correct the mistake I made that made me start all over again.. It's just really sad

Pls if I made a mistake with my typing, don't attack me.. Just really down now

EmmzyWhite:

isa 10 vs 27 don happen for you

Ifakiland:
You see ur life? So wat did u gain been a faithful bf now? Ur gf was actually double dating while u were dere wasting money on her. Be a player and damage Deir lives, u sed no, now see wat a biitch has caused u! I'm sure uve learnt ur lessons....never trust a gal, fork her and go...dey will eventually leave u.

TheVictorious:
Everything you said make sense except the bolded. I'm not against a guy supporting his girlfriend financially but why will you blame the death of a hospitalized girl on her boy friend Don't the girls in question have a family?

AuroraB:
I swear down . The guy's got game


And, the 'call me back, lemme shut the fridge'? Epic

Craigbrown4076:
This girlfriend, hasn't she got any parents? Because you seem to blame the boyfriend for her demise.

Amelian:
If a bf wants to collect money from his gf to pay a debt or go into biz.. He will forget he has family oo but pressurise her for money as if he fall from up.. And stupidd bae will give him huge money and still dump her Azz!
But if she falls ill or ask for. Money, y'all will call her Ashewoooo

U expect a girl to boost your career and life with her money.
But to boost hers, she be ashewoo.

Well such guys know they can't come my way sha.

Na AKA 47, I will use to blow their azz off my part.


Fucvking blood thirsty suckers!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Amelian:
But if you are to fucvk the living daylights out of their bodies, then u remember they don't have families o.. Using their bodies to quench your sexual thirst. then later after a while possibly drop or break up with the gf after sucking her body nutrients dry without replenish.. Boobbs flat like slippers.. The Yansh depleted
Guys ehnn.. When it comes to sexx, no family
But to take care of, then they remember she has a family..

I pity ladies who allows guys to use them anyhow because he's my bf.

Craigbrown4076:
You sound pained. Well all i am trying to say is that although a relationship ought to be based on mutualism, to blame a young guy who hasn't found his feet yet for his inability to foot for his girlfriends hospital bill is rather outrageous. Most grown up men face financial difficulties not to talk of a young prospect.

Amelian:
Whether am. Pained or not is irrelevant.. Lol

The issue is a young guy trying to find is feet has no business fucvking day and night. That's why we all see abandoned babies everywhere, cos u guys are not ready to take responsibility. Do y'all think is only the girl who abandoned the innocent baby is going to be cursed! The guys responsible will share in that curse.. Cos it's a sin to kill an innocent either thru abortion or after giving birth, u throw it in the canal or Dump it in latrine to die. It's a grave sin. Which some affected people are paying for it, till now as they've grown older and now want babies in their homes. Their hearts are so heavy, they can't say the number of innocent souls they are killed, with the crave of sexx! Karma is always a Bittch waiting patiently.
So simply focus on making yourself feet strong and financially capable before thinking of sexx!