₦airaland Forum

Right now, its either i kill myself or this stupid bastrd of a brother i have.i have been away from Nigeria since 2008 and i just got back.i actually came back to Nigeria for the funeral of dad and i have been around ever since trying to keep my mum and brother ok.meanwhile my wife and i just had a son 2 months before i lost my dad so i made a tough decision of leaving them overseas and flying down to Nigeria to observe all burial rites as his first son and because i missed him so much,i couldnt bear the fact that he would be buried without me seeing 1 last time.long story short,after all my late dad's family bullsh^ts during and after my dad's passing away, i have an immediate younger brother(infact my only brother, we are just 2) who behaves so stupid i cannot even imagine i have an only brother like him.He wants to fight me every minute since i have been in Nigeria.i have done everything for him but nothing seems enough.i even have to force myself to stay away from the house to avoid a full blown war with him.I am scared i might kill him, or i will kill myself because all the stress im passing through right now is too much.Left for me, i am this quiet and peace loving happy guy, enjoying my stay in the Nigeria after a long time, while having to deal with my father's death, younger brother's stupid behaviour etc
I am seriously considering flying back to my base oversea and be with my wife and son and totally forget abt Nigeria...every one make me feel hurt xcept my mum

Right now, he is even threatening my mum in the living room and yelling out, calling my name to come out from my room and fight him if i can
Note that i had only just come back from lagos today after a couple of weeks because of this same behaviour...i had to be in hotels or squating with friends whenever he behaves like this...on this trip today, i had to force myself to come down to be with my mum for the holidays no matter how he will behave while i am home, but behold he starts again...
My mum is helpless too, she doesnt want to arrest him or do anything abt his insults to us...she justs tells me to tolerate and its getting really out of hand...i swear...
I DONT WANNA HURT HIM BUT HE KEEPS GETTING WORSE WITH THE INSULTS
i heard this is exactly how he behaved too while my late dad was alive and while i was overseas...no wonder my dad passed away (wondering)
Pls help me nairalanders...dont really know what to do

Go and report him to the nearest police station, have him locked up... At least he may gain some senses.. .. Guve the police money and tell them to deal with him and in the event of his release, the police would warn him that if he continues or do anything funny, they will take him back.

Take mama abroad if you can before his stress would kill her too if you can not do that, then you have to endure him because you would have to deal with him as long as he is with your mom. Apart from that, Na only God go fit change am. Please do not fight with him. Na so devil dey take start o.

Please no matter what don't fight him, for the sake of your mum and you family overseas. I can imagine how mum will be depressed about this issue.

If u can take mum away from him.

Hmm

What exactly are his reasons for his behavior? He must be upset about something for him to continuously act this way...

Ask your mum or better still a close relative. Or you may also reevaluate yourself, you may think you're simple, less complicated and with no issues but might actually be unconsciously doing things he does not like...

And if there's no tangible reason, have a family meeting setup and tell them what's going on. Worst case scenario, he's sent out of the house to start his own life and stop bugging yours.

Calm down and have some patience with him. Treat him like an adult and develop a friendship with him. Ask him exactly what is the problem and what he wants from you. In a very calm and brotherly voice. Everything is not gra gra. It's normal after the loss of a loved one for there to be some family issues. It's time for you to act like an older brother and father to him. If your child is giving you headache will you kill him? He is not even your child for you to lay your hands on him. He is your younger brother. Just sit him down or take him out for drinks and you both have a good time. I don't know the root of your fights, and you did not mention it. So my advise is on how to handle the situation to make sure your home front in Nigeria is peaceful. If you leave it in disarray you won't have peace where ever you run to.

All these black sheeps in families, I tire

breathe in and out!

You should just stay away from him, forget about the others, make arrangements for mum and fly back to your family!

You can mourn dad wherever you are, just leave that toxic environment and take care/monitor mum from there.

Good luck!

Hmmm, Run Barry, run.

You can either do it the way the posters above me said or you call some village youths to witness his dog sh¡t attitude, then pay them to beat crazze from his head......

mmm, are you sure there isnt more at stake? are you sure no be property fight he dey warm up for? be patient? sometimes he might feel cheated that he took care of daddy and u are just coming to show up that you are the first son.. sometimes being elder means being more patient. i suggest a family meeting as opposed to police action, also be wiling to concede some things for peace to reign... no matter what he is your brother and you cannot throw him away.. if he spoil na your name

Just beat the hell out of him and take him to a good hospital afterwards...

*quiet for some moment and clears throat*
we have read your own side of the story but we didn't read his, ok let me judge from what I have read and generally. we all have people who gets on our nerve in our immediate families but how we handle it makes it look like we have got the best but it is never bad bcs it prepares u for any outside annoyance.you see,your brother may be feeling that u are more loaded than him and gets more attention from mama than he should as per last child so any Lil thing he tries to let you know that you can't subdue you but all these made you the eldest child,first son no be moimoi! even your wife will share some responsibilities as wife of first son bcs she will learn to overlook some foolishness. please calm down,this no be Oyibo land where everything is coordinated.pls you know you are still grieving but don't let your grief cloud your wisdom,pls consider mama who just lost her husband. Pls dont let ur enemies have reason to scatter your house, your papa won't be happy.Be a brother but keep ur distance until he shows some value.

Avoid him.
You have a family overseas, don't even think about killing yourself.
Take your Mother away from him and return to your family.
Cheers.

Thanks everyone for your concerns...i am trying to stay calm and just ignore him...we have done everything for him and considering, he is a grown up, i think it is high time he should fend for himself also..
i will quietly take my mum away from him and just live him all alone until he adds some value...i think this is the best way for now..dont even know what to think anymore...

Bro Becareful....that's how the devil goes into people and use them....so do whatever you can and leave that place with your mother...before he will be the one to end up killing you.....sorry about the loss of your Father

MrMoRitz:
Thanks everyone for your concerns...i am trying to stay calm and just ignore him...we have done everything for him and considering, he is a grown up, i think it is high time he should fend for himself also..
i will quietly take my mum away from him and just live him all alone until he adds some value...i think this is the best way for now..dont even know what to think anymore...

this is good. Just leave him to grow up

Don't take anybody away from anyone, he needs your mum the same way you need your mum too, believe me he needs you too. There is always a reaction to every action, now be honest what is the real problem between both of you? Your brother can't hate you for no reason, maybe your parents support you morethan him, chose you over him, cmon there is something in the family that hasn't be done either from you or from him. So don't just come here to tell u that you've been keeping quite. He's not a kid, someone or something must have triggered his behavior to you. Cmon you guys are just two and there's no peace within you what of a family of 6 boys like mine? I never said family don't have issues, am saying can't you face the issue and try to solve it. Well this might work for you, bcus it worked in my experience (my family) as the elder bro, why don't you take two days away from your family, go out with him, be with him throughout the whole day, have fun, church,cinema,party,visit new places and try to know what's going on with him, what's his personal problem, in what way can you help, let him see you as a brother not a competitor, show him maximum love. Have a real man to man talk with him, let him reveal everything to you. My brother to me family is everything, even if you have your own family (wife and kid) your brother is still your family. So work it out and don't kill anybody or arrest anyone.

MrMoRitz:
Right now, its either i kill myself or this stupid bastrd of a brother i have.i have been away from Nigeria since 2008 and i just got back.i actually came back to Nigeria for the funeral of dad and i have been around ever since trying to keep my mum and brother ok.meanwhile my wife and i just had a son 2 months before i lost my dad so i made a tough decision of leaving them overseas and flying down to Nigeria to observe all burial rites as his first son and because i missed him so much,i couldnt bear the fact that he would be buried without me seeing 1 last time.long story short,after all my late dad's family bullsh^ts during and after my dad's passing away, i have an immediate younger brother(infact my only brother, we are just 2) who behaves so stupid i cannot even imagine i have an only brother like him.He wants to fight me every minute since i have been in Nigeria.i have done everything for him but nothing seems enough.i even have to force myself to stay away from the house to avoid a full blown war with him.I am scared i might kill him, or i will kill myself because all the stress im passing through right now is too much.Left for me, i am this quiet and peace loving happy guy, enjoying my stay in the Nigeria after a long time, while having to deal with my father's death, younger brother's stupid behaviour etc
I am seriously considering flying back to my base oversea and be with my wife and son and totally forget abt Nigeria...every one make me feel hurt xcept my mum

Right now, he is even threatening my mum in the living room and yelling out, calling my name to come out from my room and fight him if i can
Note that i had only just come back from lagos today after a couple of weeks because of this same behaviour...i had to be in hotels or squating with friends whenever he behaves like this...on this trip today, i had to force myself to come down to be with my mum for the holidays no matter how he will behave while i am home, but behold he starts again...
My mum is helpless too, she doesnt want to arrest him or do anything abt his insults to us...she justs tells me to tolerate and its getting really out of hand...i swear...
I DONT WANNA HURT HIM BUT HE KEEPS GETTING WORSE WITH THE INSULTS
i heard this is exactly how he behaved too while my late dad was alive and while i was overseas...no wonder my dad passed away (wondering)
Pls help me nairalanders...dont really know what to do

Jst be careful with him he may be high on some cheap weed. I kw he is angry with you for not sending him some good dollars while you were abroad. Right nw he thinks u r selfish and stingy. Every family has got one trouble sibling to handle usually they are lazy and jst want to enjoy without working. He is jobless broke and lazy n can't be happy.
Dnt use the police except he physically assaults someone. Blood is thicker than water show him some love n genuinely care abt his well being its ur family cross

ogawisdom:
Jst be careful with him he may be high on some cheap weed. I kw he is angry with you for not sending him some good dollars while you were abroad. Right nw he thinks u r selfish and stingy. Every family has got one trouble sibling to handle usually they are lazy and jst want to enjoy without working. He is jobless broke and lazy n can't be happy.
Dnt use the police except he physically assaults someone. Blood is thicker than water show him some love n genuinely care abt his well being its ur family cross

How do you know he didn't send him some dollar? How do you know he's high on weed? How do you know that he's jobless? How did you know that he's lazy? And he can't be happy? Nigga please stop saying what you don't know, simply because his elder bro came here to make it public don't mean you should criticize his brother, every story has two sides. That's not fair . I thought your name is ogawisdom? Why not use some wisdom?

Thanks a lot...this is exactly my mindset right now

Richy4:
You have invested a lot to be whom you are today....You do not have to go to prison because of anyone especially your brother....or even kill yourself....

Ignore his tantrums big time...Your priority now is your mum and your wife and kid...Have you even thought of how your kid will feel if daddy is jailed.... therefore missing his/her first birthday because you could not control your anger and temper?

I am happy you have shown some class by vacating the place when you were angry....That is what classy men do and I am very proud of you...
Please i repeat ignore whatever he does or say to you ok....I know it will be hard... but your mum will be happy that there was no bloodshed...your wife will be happy that her husband was back...your kid will be happy that dad is back to hold him/she..

MrMoRitz:
Right now, its either i kill myself or this stupid bastrd of a brother i have.i have been away from Nigeria since 2008 and i just got back.i actually came back to Nigeria for the funeral of dad and i have been around ever since trying to keep my mum and brother ok.meanwhile my wife and i just had a son 2 months before i lost my dad so i made a tough decision of leaving them overseas and flying down to Nigeria to observe all burial rites as his first son and because i missed him so much,i couldnt bear the fact that he would be buried without me seeing 1 last time.long story short,after all my late dad's family bullsh^ts during and after my dad's passing away, i have an immediate younger brother(infact my only brother, we are just 2) who behaves so stupid i cannot even imagine i have an only brother like him.He wants to fight me every minute since i have been in Nigeria.i have done everything for him but nothing seems enough.i even have to force myself to stay away from the house to avoid a full blown war with him.I am scared i might kill him, or i will kill myself because all the stress im passing through right now is too much.Left for me, i am this quiet and peace loving happy guy, enjoying my stay in the Nigeria after a long time, while having to deal with my father's death, younger brother's stupid behaviour etc
I am seriously considering flying back to my base oversea and be with my wife and son and totally forget abt Nigeria...every one make me feel hurt xcept my mum

Right now, he is even threatening my mum in the living room and yelling out, calling my name to come out from my room and fight him if i can
Note that i had only just come back from lagos today after a couple of weeks because of this same behaviour...i had to be in hotels or squating with friends whenever he behaves like this...on this trip today, i had to force myself to come down to be with my mum for the holidays no matter how he will behave while i am home, but behold he starts again...
My mum is helpless too, she doesnt want to arrest him or do anything abt his insults to us...she justs tells me to tolerate and its getting really out of hand...i swear...
I DONT WANNA HURT HIM BUT HE KEEPS GETTING WORSE WITH THE INSULTS
i heard this is exactly how he behaved too while my late dad was alive and while i was overseas...no wonder my dad passed away (wondering)
Pls help me nairalanders...dont really know what to do

You've said a lot without actually saying anything. Are you trolling??

legalexpert:
mmm, are you sure there isnt more at stake? are you sure no be property fight he dey warm up for? be patient? sometimes he might feel cheated that he took care of daddy and u are just coming to show up that you are the first son.. sometimes being elder means being more patient. i suggest a family meeting as opposed to police action, also be wiling to concede some things for peace to reign... no matter what he is your brother and you cannot throw him away.. if he spoil na your name

The bolded sounds about right seeing as @op is being economical with the truth.

I am not been economical with the truth...i just said it as it is...and between,even if there was any problem with properties, which wouldnt even happen as i wont even cheat him out of it as we jointly own them and like seriously,i dont even think of the properties aspect, was he thinking he is d only child all d while i was outta Nigeria?i dont get it..my parents love me so much,i was born 11years after their marriage so its kinda expected...but they equally show him equal love too..i am not understanding this at all with my bro...and talking him out is out of it because d moment i take him out and we spend nice times together,it always ends up with his usual behaviour of wanting a fight with me so i stopped it

Once again,i thank everyone here for their opinions and advise...i cant wait for the new year holidays to come and go, lemme fly back and leave this my toxic environment so i dont end up doing what im gonna regret

You will need to also consider that there might be a mental health challenge here.

Op calm down o.. That's how devil starts.. Don't fight him.. Simply ignore him.. Complete any other obligations u need to do and go back to US.
Just ignore him o

MrMoRitz:
Once again,i thank everyone here for their opinions and advise...i cant wait for the new year holidays to come and go, lemme fly back and leave this my toxic environment so i dont end up doing what im gonna regret

But of course.

MrMoRitz:
I am not been economical with the truth...i just said it as it is...and between,even if there was any problem with properties, which wouldnt even happen as i wont even cheat him out of it as we jointly own them and like seriously,i dont even think of the properties aspect, was he thinking he is d only child all d while i was outta Nigeria?i dont get it..my parents love me so much,i was born 11years after their marriage so its kinda expected...but they equally show him equal love too..i am not understanding this at all with my bro...and talking him out is out of it because d moment i take him out and we spend nice times together,it always ends up with his usual behaviour of wanting a fight with me so i stopped it

We're always skeptical of stories where the narrator comes blazing in with stories of being victimised, trying to paint the accused of being the devil incarnate or rather in your case, the sibling from hell, etc. Try as much as you may, you don't come off smelling of roses yourself.

Let's give you the benefit of doubt even though it's as clear as day you're trolling: from your (badly composed) write-up, you PRETEND not to know the whole ish with this brother of yours isn't about property? Seriously??

You claim to have left for the USA eight years ago, living the happy content life, but while you were away, who was left to look after your parents in Naija? Your brother. You were funded / sent to the States by your parents while your brother had to face the harsh realities of the Nigerian environment - don't you think he smarted from it? Are you that insensitive??

Go through your write up. "My bàstàrd brother did this, did that, I had to go stay in a hotel for days, yardi-yardi-ya..."

Sorry sir but you sound like a show off. I bet you must have returned in cheap flash clothes from Walmart, blowing phonèr with I wanna-wanna like Yankee just arrive, looking down on your "bush" brother.

Now you've come to claim property as the first born and you pretend not to know the genesis of your issue with your brother? He should beat you up proper, abeg.

And for what it's worth, you don't come across as someone who's lived in the States. Where you sabi for that side?

The guy is certainly smoking something . . . Hope he doesn't run fully mad soon!

EfemenaXY:
But of course.



We're always skeptical of stories where the narrator comes blazing in with stories of being victimised, trying to paint the accused of being the devil incarnate or rather in your case, the sibling from hell, etc. Try as much as you may, you don't come off smelling of roses yourself.

Let's give you the benefit of doubt even though it's as clear as day you're trolling: from your (badly composed) write-up, you PRETEND not to know the whole ish with this brother of yours isn't about property? Seriously??

You claim to have left for the USA eight years ago, living the happy content life, but while you were away, who was left to look after your parents in Naija? Your brother. You were funded / sent to the States by your parents while your brother had to face the harsh realities of the Nigerian environment - don't you think he smarted from it? Are you that insensitive??

Go through your write up. "My bàstàrd brother did this, did that, I had to go stay in a hotel for days, yardi-yardi-ya..."

Sorry sir but you sound like a show off. I bet you must have returned in cheap flash clothes from Walmart, blowing phonèr with I wanna-wanna like Yankee just arrive, looking down on your "bush" brother.

Now you've come to claim property as the first born and you pretend not to know the genesis of your issue with your brother? He should beat you up proper, abeg.

And for what it's worth, you don't come across as someone who's lived in the States. Where you sabi for that side?

True my bro.

You sound like a black sheep...i never said i lived in d US

dont come here to say nonsense,u donno what im passing through here

EfemenaXY:
But of course.



We're always skeptical of stories where the narrator comes blazing in with stories of being victimised, trying to paint the accused of being the devil incarnate or rather in your case, the sibling from hell, etc. Try as much as you may, you don't come off smelling of roses yourself.

Let's give you the benefit of doubt even though it's as clear as day you're trolling: from your (badly composed) write-up, you PRETEND not to know the whole ish with this brother of yours isn't about property? Seriously??

You claim to have left for the USA eight years ago, living the happy content life, but while you were away, who was left to look after your parents in Naija? Your brother. You were funded / sent to the States by your parents while your brother had to face the harsh realities of the Nigerian environment - don't you think he smarted from it? Are you that insensitive??

Go through your write up. "My bàstàrd brother did this, did that, I had to go stay in a hotel for days, yardi-yardi-ya..."

Sorry sir but you sound like a show off. I bet you must have returned in cheap flash clothes from Walmart, blowing phonèr with I wanna-wanna like Yankee just arrive, looking down on your "bush" brother.

Now you've come to claim property as the first born and you pretend not to know the genesis of your issue with your brother? He should beat you up proper, abeg.

And for what it's worth, you don't come across as someone who's lived in the States. Where you sabi for that side?

After 8 years of staying abroad and leaving your parents behind, you are now back claim property abi? Your brother has been eating akpu and garri while you have been eating burger, if you attempt to fight him you will be beaten black and blue, you might not be well enough to return abroad so be wise and respect yourself

After 8 years of staying abroad and leaving your parents behind, you are now back to claim property abi? Your brother has been eating akpu and garri while you have been eating burger, if you attempt to fight him you will be beaten black and blue, you might not be well enough to return abroad so be wise and respect yourself

I will try one more time to be friendly with him,take him out,and then find out from him what d problem really is