₦airaland Forum

lovelygurl:
Oh and are you decent yourself

Kaelin and Kyrah comes to my mind

bukatyne:
I don't know why we can't stick to one side...

On one end, the average Nairaland guy believes a woman's forte is caring for the home/family and foam in the mouth whenever someone suggests otherwise.

On another end, same guy believes a woman should contribute financially to the household and starts asking what a woman wants to contribute if she doesn't want to drop money at home.

Jokers...

@OP:

I 100% agree with him

The idea of waiting till eternity before marriage doesn't appeal to me. I rather we build together and look for ways to develop ourselves and family.

Of course , you would agree with him 100%. Why wouldn't you ? Expectedly, you have a problem with a woman contributing substantially to the home. Taking care of the home shouldn't be a woman's only contribution, for f0rks sake. If she is educated, she should have a career( not nail polishing,makeup shlt) and contribute to the family.

I have lots of friends who earn much but have wives who contribute little or nothing financially, they wine endlessly. It isn't easy to have just the man do all that. If women do not want to contribute to the home, why waste those thousands of dollars spent on their school fees? To sit at home, watch African magic and get fat?

ndcide:
I

[/b]The artisans you invite to work for you have their wife and children in school. [b]

It's an evil thing. My dad told me this thing when I was moving to Lagos years back.

Thank God I'm free indeed.

What kind of schools do they send their kids to?
In all honesty, are those the kind of schools you'll send your child(ren) to?

lovelygurl:
Oh and are you decent yourself

if I'm not decent I won't be talking this talk

bublin:
Na God go bless you for me,in fact abundant blessing for this your comment. Na yu get sense pass, in fact am hugging yu now.#No homo meant oooo

Lol!

ochuski:
The guy is right when he said "if you can feed yourself, you can feed your wife". Waiting to get the whole world can be frustrating most times.

Marriage is money consuming oh !!

ellacute45:
Kaelin and Kyrah comes to my mind

Lool

goingape:
show me a decent black woman and I will show you a treasure yet to discovered!. we don't have decent women in this country again other than our mothers of those times. what we have is bunch of useless women parading with diggers and axe just to drain you.


thanks for your advise once again.

Hmmm!

Berbierklaus:
One thing I have come to realize in this life is that ONE rule does not work for ALL.

Anybody will agree with me that it is a hell of a task for a couple to be married and have kids coming in with little or no means of survival or even. comfortability eg an apartment,steady allowance enough to cater for basic needs like feeding,schooling and health care.

I think this advice is flawed,because most young men at 24-26 are yet to find their feet,some are not even matured enough to cohabit with a woman,and all these factors could cause a strain in marriage which could lead to other things entirely.

The best thing to do when it comes to marriage as a man,is know what works for you and the woman you are planning to marry,because its not about getting married,its about sustaining the marriage.
I on my part will not settle down for manage manage,my kids must have what I couldn't have which is why I am hustling to compliment that lucky man that I end up with.

@ Dominique,if those potentials are not feasible most women won't go for it,I for example. A lot of people have potentials but I won't eat potentials,I will eat the result.

#fact

gbegemaster:
My guy life is full of regrets. Those who married early sometimes regret it while those who didn't wish they had. Everyone wishes for what they don't have. This is what happens when you measure success against another person's idea of success.

Tyler Perry's first son came when he was 45 years old in the midst of a strong career. He's not complaining abi you want to complain on his behalf? Anna Jarvis who initiated the Modern mothers day celebrations had neither child nor husband.

There's so much to do in this world beyond borning children upandan. When you die and go nobody will remember you apart from the fact that you born pikin.

Awesome analysis.

@Quintessential1 ,@Berbierklaus , @Alondra, @Okowande shey nna don hear now,even my pastor don talk say make i go wife this year so wetin nna dey wait for,i dey on ground o

valarinz:
Africans, NIGERIANS, third world countries, we all have one thing in common : producing babies like rats irrespective of whether we can provide QUALITY livelihood for those kids

Our economy is dying, infrastructure non existent or decaying, and yet all we think about is produce more population to weigh down on the little infrastructure and social amenities we have left

Check the pattern, the wealthy nations and also the wealthy ones in our country too, don't see this marriage and producing babies thing as an accomplishment, most times you'll see just a kid or two and the best quality of life is provided for them, but it's from those broke niggas or the average struggling ones that you keep hearing marry marry marry, born born born, that's the highest accomplishment

It beats my imagination how some people assume that producing babies like rats is the only thing that can make a man/woman happy and fulfilled in life. How can someone who was raised in a struggling home filled with poverty want to quickly rush and bring in kids to experience the same suffering they went through

What's the point of having 7 kids at the age of 50 and the best yoh can offer them is public schools of #2000 school fees, is it not better to have 2 kids at 50 and provide quality education and upbringing to that kid, is it not better for both you and society

We keep producing prospective issues for the society, touts, thiefs, prostitutes, just name it, someone who doesn't even have sufficient to financial backing to withstand multiple emergencies will be pressured into marriage and it will be hailed as an accomplishment, and 20yrs from now, we'll want whoever is the president to turn nigeria to usa overnight

Why do countries like China now have their govt enforcing a population cap by legally allowing only one kid per household, despite being so better off than us in all aspects, yet as poor as we are as a country we keep pressuring our young ones to keep marrying and producing babies

The president of united States has only two kids, daughters for that matter, I have never heard any outrage from his countrymen, imagine if this was a nigerian.

This is how most of my friends who bowed to society pressure and entered the eternal rat race in the name of marriage and kids keep asking for financial help every now and then, and next thing you'll see a post on fb with them and the kids saying how God is doing it and they're so happy, the ones who are not yet into it will be fooled.

It is well

How well I love this post cannot be expressed in words.

Well done Sir.

I pity whoever will take this advice.

manikspears:
@Quintessential1 ,@Berbierklaus , @Alondra, @Okowande shey nna don hear now,even my pastor don talk say make i go wife this year so wetin nna dey wait for,i dey on ground o

Lol. Good luck... Why you calling us na?

We know all this things but will the ladies agree?

'If you can feed yourself, you can feed your wife'. I agree with this guy 100%.
If you stay alone and you have a stable moderate income that is enough to take care of your bills, and you are sure you are dating the love of your life, go ahead and marry her. You will never regret it.
I did it, I took the risk. And today I consider myself as one of the most fulfilled guy in terms of marriage and kids. Just few years into the marriage there is nothing my wife and kids need I am not able to provide, and seeing my kids growing fast brings the kind of joy and happiness I can't get from anywhere else..

Gerrard59:
What kind of schools do they send their kids to?
In all honesty, is that the kind of school you'll send your child(ren) to?

Not everyone will send their children to
British international school or greensping or loyal Jesuit. There are different grades of schools and their products will succeed in life too.

I remember those days igbinedion education center was established in Benin, we told people to relax, as Many will still fall back to Uniben or AAU/EDSU. That was what happened. Funny enough students from Edokpolo keep beating students from those big name schools. Read my earlier posts again and you'll see I pointed out the problem of perception especially for some of us in Lagos. You think children from the lower class are not doing well? Think again.

My guy in GE schooled in a public school before things changed.

I may not be able to convince you, but I know what I'm saying.

Berbierklaus:
Please sir,try and always take your brains along with your eyes anytime you come across my comment on Nairaland,it will do you a lot of good In a bid to make your A'hole comment you probably skipped where I typed



Any sane person knows I wasn't referring to literal 'eating' but I am not in the position to ascertain your mental state so I will pass on that

Lastly happy new year too sir,may you use your assimilating facilities more this year in Jesus name

Chai the consequences of jumping to reply before reading.

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2016/03/29/ap_090911089838_sq-3271237f28995f6530d9634ff27228cae88e3440-s900-c85.jpg

HarveySpecter1:
Of course , you would agree with him 100%. Why wouldn't you ? Expectedly, you have a problem with a woman contributing substantially to the home. Taking care of the home shouldn't be a woman's only contribution, for f0rks sake. If she is educated, she should have a career( not nail polishing,makeup shlt) and contribute to the family.

I have lots of friends who earn much but have wives who contribute little or nothing financially, they wine endlessly. It isn't easy to have just the man do all that. If women do not want to contribute to the home, why waste those thousands of dollars spent on their school fees? To sit at home, watch African magic and get fat?

Harvey,

Happy new year.

You obviously missed the last line of my post and you know absolutely nothing.

If your rich friends still whine that their wives don't contribute financially, why can't they discuss with their wives? Could it be they have different expectations?

So in addition to taking care of the home, the wife should also contribute?

Rich.

What is this one talking? Marry around 24 as a guy... Lemme comman be going

Quintessential1:
Lol. Good luck... Why you calling us na?

I dey advertise mysef ni o .i don dey jealous topics of "pre-wedding pictures of 2 nairalanders" me too one do my own this 2017

Wht he says not tht bAd anyway so just follow ya hearts .

Berbierklaus:
One thing I have come to realize in this life is that ONE rule does not work for ALL.

Anybody will agree with me that it is a hell of a task for a couple to be married and have kids coming in with little or no means of survival or even comfortability eg an apartment,steady allowance enough to cater for basic needs like feeding,schooling and health care.

I think this advice is flawed,because most young men at 24-26 are yet to find their feet,some are not even matured enough to cohabit with a woman,and all these factors could cause a strain in marriage which could lead to other things entirely.

The best thing to do when it comes to marriage as a man,is know what works for you and the woman you are planning to marry,because its not about getting married,its about sustaining the marriage.
I on my part will not settle down for manage manage,my kids must have what I couldn't have which is why I am hustling to compliment that lucky man that I end up with.

@ Dominique,if those potentials are not feasible most women won't go for it,I for example. A lot of people have potentials but I won't eat potentials,I will eat the result.

you are awesome

benedictnsi:
Lol...... D guy is just lamenting ....

His business though.... I need to be comfortable a bit before I even start thinking about marriage

That's the point.

he should just meet more ladies and stop whining.

HarveySpecter1:
Nice point of view but your last paragraph is so flawed. It's fine that you will rather " eat results than potentials" but dont forget that your rule should apply to you too. Most girls have the wack mindset that the men should be financially healthy while they contribute a little or nothing. I would like to ask you and your fellow girls the following....

Did you not go to the school that the guys attended?
Was the syllabus used for the guys different from that used for the girls ?
Do we not have the same brain? Do you accept that our brains are superior to yours? If our brains are superior then girls are inferior to guys. QED

If a man should realise his potentials and turn it to results so should our girls. African women should wake up. Twerking,bj and f0rking around can't bring as much money as the brain.

If a husband should earn 300k/month, the wife should earn likewise. African men are also the problem. They except less from women and African women give far below " less".

Gbam!

HIScraziness:
You have not seen frustration yet bruh!! Wait till when you've got a full house wife to feed, house rent to pay, school fees to pay, kids clothes to buy, and you're still running around to put a plate of food on the table. Trust me, that's the time you would know the true meaning of "frustration"


Those kids who grew up in a family that lives from hand to mouth will explain better, it's never funny bruh!! I'd better die hustling than have my kids suffer!!

thank you bro


this guy advising an average nigerian youth to get married at 24 or 22...this guy need some slap

how many Nigerian youth of that age...can afford an apartment and again how many nigerian girls are ready to listen or love you for who you are...at that age if you are broke...


dont rush into marriage my people......ooooooo its not what you think it is

nigeriancuban:
okay, maybe he is not an animal but only someone who is not in school(university or secondary) and don't have any youth service to worry about will have such thoughts going through his mind....


Is getting a kid he main priority? Ain't you gonna put the kids in school,ain't you gonna give hem the best education so they can be useful to themselves? Well Its obvious that the guys doesn't even have such thoughts in his mind, maybe the children go go learn work(him tol)

Give birth to the number of children you can adequately take care of. No need birthing babies like rabbits when you don't have the wherewithal to train them

bukatyne:
Harvey,

Happy new year.

You obviously missed the last line of my post and you know absolutely nothing.

If your rich friends still whine that their wives don't contribute financially, why can't they discuss with their wives? Could it be they have different expectations?

So in addition to taking care of the home, the wife should also contribute?

Rich.

Fine, I don't know anything . I need you to educate me.

Yeah, the woman should contribute to the future of the family. Let me start somewhere. Families do have what is called " family projects". These projects could be buying or building family houses or businesses. If you allow the man contribute 100% to the actualisation of such project, how would the woman feel not contributing a dime to the project?

I am not an advocate of wives staying at home to take care of the home 24 hours a day. It's a waste of the woman's potentials. Such move could be detrimental to the women if eventually the husbands can no longer provide for her, family or is no more.

Happy New year
Harvey specter

HIScraziness:
You have not seen frustration yet bruh!! Wait till when you've got a full house wife to feed, house rent to pay, school fees to pay, kids clothes to buy, and you're still running around to put a plate of food on the table. Trust me, that's the time you would know the true meaning of "frustration"


Those kids who grew up in a family that lives from hand to mouth will explain better, it's never funny bruh!! I'd better die hustling than have my kids suffer!!

I support yhu 101% bruh...

gbegemaster:
This is just theory

Ok.

goingape:
so let us marry witches and prostitute and have a bastard child as our own

thanks for your stvpid advise! I rather enjoy my life single as it is than for me to marry those apes which called themself naija women.

even if I had more or little I won't make that mistake to get married! it is better to be single that to marry and have more problems.

thanks once again! the marriage institution is becoming useless nowadays and our women are becoming more and more promiscuous and you expert me to marry!

a woman will do ashawo in her youthful age when it is time to settle down that's when you will see them becoming born again just to catch one mugu.

show me a decent black woman and I will show you a treasure yet to discovered!. we don't have decent women in this country again other than our mothers of those times. what we have is bunch of useless women parading with diggers and axe just to drain you.


thanks for your advise once again.

lol but bros wit d way u hate naija girls who u go come date na? Abi u based outside naija? If u in naija weda u like it or not na nigerian woman u go end up wit as a wife.