brasilia:
I can do anything for peace to reign

frank317:


Best advice so far!!!


Who the hell is she to shout u down? She can't be in ur house and be flirting with another man, yet offers no explanation to you but have the guts to tell u to do anything.

What the Fk!!!

And I can't believe people are even asking u to call the man. To discuss what exactly? Hey man did u fuk my wife?

Well if I was the man and u call me I will tell u to fuk off or I will ask u to pay me not to fuk ur wife.

Be the man and take charge. Be ready to let go if she can't give u ur right as a husband... STOP LICKING HER ASS, THE SMELL WILL EVENTUALLY KILL U AND SHE WILL BE FREE TO FUK ALL THE MEN SHE WANTS TO EVEN BEFIRE U ARE BURIED ANF FORGOTTEN.

johnson232:

op na weak man jor...
how can your wife shout u down for questioning her about about a man u are suspicious about? & your next move was to come to nairaland?

brasilia:
I can do anything for peace to reign

majorbravo:

Dude, he lives in the states, there are limits to what he can do to her and his wife knows this quite well.

johnson232:

I know what i am saying regardless of where the op resides....

majorbravo:


Op can you throw more light on this bolded statement? Before I give my advice. But what I can say for now is that its pointless calling the guy up because he already knows your wife is married (from her statement on the phone asking him if he doesn't understand she is married). Telling him would only make them be more cautious about hiding their affair if indeed they are seeing each other. I would tell you what to do only if you answer the above question sincerely.

proffemi:


"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."

I don't want to comment on the issue of your wife and her friend, but scanning through this thread, it is obvious (IMO) that you need to look inwards first. You sound weak-willed, and basically invite your woman to ride rough-shod over you. I'd be less concerned about confronting your wife's friend (childish idea, that...) and address the issue at the source: RESPECT. Love feeds on respect. You wife does not seem to respect you, and I'm going to blame you for that. You need to work on earning her respect. Any other thing you do (surveillance, confrontation...whatever) will either hasten the demise of your marriage, or push your BP up a few points. As you yourself observed, she's apparently past caring at this stage.

Good luck dude.

brasilia:
OK thanks, yes we have been having issues, but she is not open to reconciliation, I beg even if she is wrong or I am wrong. Anytime I dare try to express displeasure on anything she gets very very angry...

mikkyphp:
wrong attitude, i kind of like you, and would love to see you grow some balls. It is not too late to enforce your will in your home. Let your head do the thinking at this moment and be very logical. be stern, and resist her manipulative plots with her anger. dont back down. if it doesnt work, den take a walk. you will be better 4 it. unhealthy relationships are a silent killer.

johnson232:

op na weak man jor...
how can your wife shout u down for questioning her about about a man u are suspicious about? & your next move was to come to nairaland?

HARDDON:



Yea, maybe he has cheated aforetimes. Maybe he aint satisfying her in bed, maybe he aint providing for d fam, maybe he doesnt have her time , maybe she was forced into d marriage, maybe she married him cos of money but still stuck on old heat( she neva really luvd him) , maybe the marriage lost its spark! Maybe she started taking counsel from randy single/married female friends


These n many more cud lead to this

majorbravo:


Have you thought of the fact that Op may have married her to get a green card? In such a marriage who do you think is most likely to wear the pants? He may be living in her house. There is even a tendency she has threatened to throw him out for daring to speak back when she talks, or perhaps even send him back to the jungles of Africa if he wouldn't live by her own terms. In such case, even the Lion would become a mere cat.

brasilia:
the bolded means she did not initiate the conversation, it was the guy

Kagawa10:


Just discuss the matter with her and remind her she's a married woman. All those flirting attitude doesn't suit her as a married woman and that she wouldn't like the same thing if she were in your shoe. Unknown to her, she's probably leading on the man who may have an ulterior motive in the first place.

hahn:


He needs proof to act though. Guessing is not enough

Apparently, she is getting fed up with their relationship thus the talking off and all

Snowstorm:
Bro...you're wife is flirting and she doesn't care about your own thoughts and feelings...she's angry ke?angry about what?
Thats a no no...
Don't waste your time trying to fix a broken lady.. It's inevitable let her self destruct...
The both of you have trust issues..

Never go through a lady's phone next time If u don't have the balls to take charge of the situation if not u go get heart attack...

majorbravo:


Have you thought of the fact that Op may have married her to get a green card? In such a marriage who do you think is most likely to wear the pants? He may be living in her house. There is even a tendency she has threatened to throw him out for daring to speak back when she talks, or perhaps even send him back to the jungles of Africa if he wouldn't live by her own terms. In such case, even the Lion would become a mere cat.

brasilia:
I literally paid her way through the university, I brought her to the states, ... I have read comment s about she financing the house and I just laugh. I am a petrochemical engineer

brasilia:
Thanks very much, the guy is not a family friend per say, because I do not know him, he is friend/church member with my wife. I only hear of him. Sadly when I asked my wife about the messages, she was very angry, she said she was not in control of wat ever the guy was sending, and moreover, she doesn't care. So the only option I have is to look for the guy and speak with him, but I don't know how this will look.

brasilia:
married but traditional and church, nice wedding, dated for 5years, been married for 6 years

brasilia:
I literally paid her way through the university, I brought her to the states, ... I have read comment s about she financing the house and I just laugh. I am a petrochemical engineer

brasilia:
Hello all, my phone went bad, I was using my wife's old phone, and i ran in to a message between she and a supposed family friend . my wife asked the guy to take her some where, and the guy replied her like this, are you missing me ? my wife now said,this, my husband is right by side, the conversation went on, and my they were just talking casually, then again my wife now asked him again if he will come and drop her, the guy replied and siad, what about if your husband sees you in my car, my wife replied and said that I already know that the guy has dropped her off twice,

,

brasilia:
Thanks very much, the guy is not a family friend per say, because I do not know him, he is friend/church member with my wife. I only hear of him. Sadly when I asked my wife about the messages, she was very angry, she said she was not in control of wat ever the guy was sending, and moreover, she doesn't care. So the only option I have is to look for the guy and speak with him, but I don't know how this will look.

brasilia:
I literally paid her way through the university, I brought her to the states, ... I have read comment s about she financing the house and I just laugh. I am a petrochemical engineer

brasilia:
Hello all, my phone went bad, I was using my wife's old phone, and i ran in to a message between she and a supposed family friend . my wife asked the guy to take her some where, and the guy replied her like this, are you missing me ? my wife now said,this, my husband is right by side, the conversation went on, and my they were just talking casually, then again my wife now asked him again if he will come and drop her, the guy replied and siad, what about if your husband sees you in my car, my wife replied and said that I already know that the guy has dropped her off twice,

the truth is that I did not per say, it was a day she was going out and i asked her who was going to drop, and she angrily told me i do not know the person, but much later like months later, during our normal discussion, she told me it was that guy . So could she be cheating with the guy, should i call the guy and ask,

bizhop01:



Free your wife alone,the guy in question is not a gost,investigate & meet him one on one PEACEFULLY, find out more about him,who he really is, this will make him have a rethink befor things gos so wrong.
Remember women are always so weak emotional,so easy to manipulate their mind,if you ask me why,it din't start today it started in the bible.