holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

NotOfThis:
What sort of rubbish love is that? He's cheating and abusing her (despite her pregnancy) and doesn't give her money (yet I'm sure he's giving money to the women he's sleeping with), and you want to tell me he loves her. People have twisted ideas of love these days.

There're many men out there with pregnant wives who don't cheat on their wives and remain faithful, so don't tell me he's cheating b/c she's pregnant and can't satisfy his sexual needs. Cheating is a choice. He was probably sleeping around with different women before their marriage but was pretending to be a gentleman to her family.

Joavid:
How your mum convinced you to marry someone you don't love and barely know in this 21st century is a mystery to me.

If she's so skilled in the art of persuasion, why is she crying instead of speaking up for you?

what advice is she giving you now?

smh

I'm seriously restraining myself from typing ill of your mum.

cuteoly:

Please you don't have to type ill about her. She is crying because she talked me into the marriage. She is already regretting why she did that.

cuteoly:
I really don't want to raise my kids as a single mother neither do I want to continue sleeping with him because am just 30 and don't want to die leaving my kids as a result of diseases. I need advice on how best to get money from him and establish myself.

I don't want court because the case will linger for long and after everything, we will be divorced and he will be asked to be paying a stipend for the kid's upkeep which I know won't be enough for the kids to be comfortable.

Moreover, I really don't want to publicise this for I know people will just start using me as a reference point for failed marriage.

My uncle who raised me has asked me to come and am sure he went there to report the issue to him.
And this is one thing I have begged him not do, that what they do is just to start laughing and joking over the issue after you report a matter to them.
I don't know how best to dodge going to see my uncle because if I get there and tell him all I have been passing through in this marriage, he ll only ask me to endure and then mock us once I leave.
And if I don't go, he will consider it as an insult

cuteoly:
I have been a member of this forum for long but hardly comments on posts but I do read to learn from people. Please I need your advice as to know what to do.
I got married in 2013, my hubby is a civil servant. We didn't date. It happens that I finished my NYSC and worked in Lagos for about 6 months before coming down to Enugu because my Dad was ill and I came to take care of him. He later died 11th September 2012. My hubby after coming to see my Dad at home(that's before his death) took interest in me and asked for my hand in marriage which I refused but he kept insisting, my mom wanting me to stay close to our home town insisted I must marry him. She cried to me that she knows the guy and his family since he was little and that he is trustworthy.
When my Dad died my hubby participated in his burial very well that the whole family started saying he will make a good inlaw.
Sept 2013, we wedded and I gave birth in 2014.
My problem started in 2015 when I saw a text message in my hubby's phone by a lady telling him they won't be seeing each other again because her circulation started that night. I woke him up that night and showed him the text, he pleaded that he was sorry which I forgave him.
Few weeks later, I got another text by another lady on a sunday telling him that if he doesn't come to see her now, that she will leave the house. I kind of chatted the lady as if it was my hubby and was saying stuff like she didn't cook anything that she was waiting for him to come. I still wiped the whole text and pretended I didn't read anything.
Most times he comes back with hotel receipts and when I ask him, he says he just hanged out with his male friends.
On wednesday this week, I saw 2 condoms in his pocket and when I asked him, he said I don't have any right to ask him that I should know that "ofu anya ikpu n'egbu amu" it's an Igbo adage which means that sleeping with one woman kills the penis. That if I don't like it I should pack out of his house.
Meanwhile, I didn't say I learnt sewing after our wedding and am very good in it. This man doesn't give me money, he started building his house in the village last year and I asked him to just channel whatever he gets to the house so that we can move in there soon and stop paying rent, since I get little money from sewing and his work place is close to his village.
But since I discovered he can't do with women I begged him to buy me an industrial sewing and weaving machine so that it will make my work faster. He refused that I should wait till he finish his house. On thursday I waited for him to apologise for the condom I saw in his pocket, he said it's not possible. So when he left for work, I took his car keys and the land property and hide it in the house. And when he asked for them, I told him that he should buy me those machines and then continue whatever he has with women since I have seen that he is not willing to change. I must confess that this is the first time I raised my voice so hard on him. The next I heard was slaps on my face and am 7 months pregnant and my mom was in my house that day and all she could do was to go into her room and started crying. He later got dressed and left for work. He saw me wiping my nose with his singlet because blood was gushing out from my nose and yet he left.
In the evening he came back and locket my and my daughter out. I later called one of my aunties who called him and he opened the door and said he was leaving the house for me that night. But my aunt asked me to hold onto him and plead with him not to go out that night which I did. When I tried to beg him, he said he ll make sure he beats my baby out of my womb if I touch him. I just took the bag he packed and hide it. That's why he stayed back that night.
I went for scan yesterday and I was told my baby is breech that I need to see a Doctor. I haven't registered in any hospital aside a maternity home run by a woman. I have been begging him to give me money to register and that if he says I should leave his house that he should buy my the sewing machines so that I can atleast be using the money to take care of his kids but he refused.
He is doing all this because he knows I have nobody to fight for m and I don't want to involve my kinsmen because they will mock my family and my mom is hypertensive.
Pls do not mind the long post
I didn't add that I later give hhim the documents after the beating because he swore he will kill me and go to jail if I dont

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

holocron:


So what should she do? Abandon her nest to her competitors, or rein in her man? As today is a sunday, let us be guided by the scriptures:

Romans 12:21 "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"

@OP, For those recommending divorce, remember that those cheating girlfriends will be too happy to step into the shoes you seem to find so uncomfortable. Please endure. Keep your home for your children's sake. Except u are not in Naija, divorce a last resort only to be taken at risk to life ( not just ordinary slaps, slaps never killed anyone). You hid a man's car keys stopping him from going to work, are you suprised to receive slaps? The OP mother is a very wise woman for being around and not interfering in husband and wife matter. Your difficulties are just a brief phase due to your condition, and also your husband's inexperience. Teething problems COMMON to all marriages.

bigsmoke2:
Don't fight him. you deal with this kind of man with intelligence, let him have his way, be the best wife you can to him so he will realise what he stands to loose when you leave him. Give him time if he continues you may then leave . And watch how he will come running back. If he doesnt , then he doesnt deserve you. You must also have allies among his family members. Nd pray he doesn't catch any disease as a result of sleeping around

NotOfThis:
What sort of rubbish love is that? He's cheating and abusing her (despite her pregnancy) and doesn't give her money (yet I'm sure he's giving money to the women he's sleeping with), and you want to tell me he loves her. People have twisted ideas of love these days.

There're many men out there with pregnant wives who don't cheat on their wives and remain faithful, so don't tell me he's cheating b/c she's pregnant and can't satisfy his sexual needs. Cheating is a choice. He was probably sleeping around with different women before their marriage but was pretending to be a gentleman to her family.

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

cuteoly:
I really don't want to raise my kids as a single mother neither do I want to continue sleeping with him because am just 30 and don't want to die leaving my kids as a result of diseases. I need advice on how best to get money from him and establish myself. I don't want court because the case will linger for long and after everything, we will be divorced and he will be asked to be paying a stipend for the kid's upkeep which I know won't be enough for the kids to be comfortable.
Moreover, I really don't want to publicise this for I know people will just start using me as a reference point for failed marriage. My uncle who raised me has asked me to come and am sure he went there to report the issue to him.
And this is one thing I have begged him not do, that what they do is just to start laughing and joking over the issue after you report a matter to them.
I don't know how best to dodge going to see my uncle because if I get there and tell him all I have been passing through in this marriage, he ll only ask me to endure and then mock us once I leave.
And if I don't go, he will consider it as an insult

cuteoly:
I really don't want to raise my kids as a single mother neither do I want to continue sleeping with him because am just 30 and don't want to die leaving my kids as a result of diseases. I need advice on how best to get money from him and establish myself. I don't want court because the case will linger for long and after everything, we will be divorced and he will be asked to be paying a stipend for the kid's upkeep which I know won't be enough for the kids to be comfortable.
Moreover, I really don't want to publicise this for I know people will just start using me as a reference point for failed marriage. My uncle who raised me has asked me to come and am sure he went there to report the issue to him.
And this is one thing I have begged him not do, that what they do is just to start laughing and joking over the issue after you report a matter to them.
I don't know how best to dodge going to see my uncle because if I get there and tell him all I have been passing through in this marriage, he ll only ask me to endure and then mock us once I leave.
And if I don't go, he will consider it as an insult

eyinjuege:
Sorry o madam.

It's a pity you've more or less turned to a single mother.
Time to look out for yourself.

Do you have friends or old school mates that can bail you out now? People that can lend you money to start your business?
It's better you move back to your father's house and have your baby there safely.
Better not to die in a marriage and an unhappy one at that.

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

Gloriagee:
You must be a genius to see the obvious love seeping from the tyrant of a hubby. I mean he hit a 7 month preggy lady and threatened to cause her miscarrying.

With love like this, who needs hate? With love like this, i'm sure those over pampered wives are missing the pummelling of a lovin hubby wen mum is around.

I bow indeed to your superior wisdom , knowledge and foresight.